15 Boundary Breakers



We never respect boundaries, do not regard them as applicable to us, whether those boundaries are accepted social conventions or boundaries enshrined in law, we have little or no regard for them. These rules, procedures, conventions and laws are for the little people, not titans such as us. We go where we want, when we want and do what we want. Driven by our astonishing sense of entitlement, absent empathy and innate superiority, we smash through barriers and boundaries every day. This is a total mind set which we adopt and the examples of this are legion. Here are fifteen instance of our boundary breaking behaviours.

  1. Anything of yours is automatically ours.
  2. You are an extension of us.
  3. We make you feel guilty if you say no to us.
  4. We make you believe that you are something that you are not.
  5. We ignore and/or deny your needs.
  6. We invade your spaces.
  7. We allow your sense of self-esteem and self-worth to be eroded.
  8. We make you solely responsible for our needs.
  9. We make you say “yes” to us through a sense of obligation.
  10. We make you feel it is necessary to always please us.
  11. We treat you unequally.
  12. We fail to support you.
  13. We expect you to agree with us all of the time.
  14. We expect you to read our minds so you do what we want.
  15. We dominate your resources – time, energy, attention, socialising, money and emotions.

6 thoughts on “15 Boundary Breakers

  1. A Victor says:

    A complete lack of respect. Bring raised with these, at least 14 of the 15 were constant, I have had not only no idea how to set a boundary. Beyond that, when it would be appropriate, healthy or expected to do so, I don’t even see it. This is one of the biggest challenges of being an ACON for me, it has caused many problems in my life.

  2. Dana says:

    Wow, just W.O.W.! I mentally filled in specific examples of where the actions of my narc applied to each and every one of these boundary breakers as I was reading them. You hit the nail on the head, each one of them. My question is, once we are onto the tactics of the narc and we head those boundary breakers off at the start, why do narcs still attempt to continue them? It seems to only frustrate narcs and give us a sense of accomplishment. Is it simply innate for the narc and they cannot stop themselves?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Most victims do not heed the red flags, therein lies the problem for victims Dana. Where you may do so, the narcissist will persist as a consequence of the absolute need to assert control over you which means there may be the perseverance with a direct approach for a period of time, which if that fails, they will then switch to a different assertion of control.

  3. Asp Emp says:

    Oh dear, I’ve lost count now…..

    1. A Victor says:

      Haven’t read the article yet but this is hilarious!!

      1. Asp Emp says:


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