Fury
Why does he lash out at you, abuse, assault and insult?
Why do you get ignored and cold-shouldered?
Why does he walk off and disappear?
Here is the answer.
By understanding fury, what causes it and what purpose it serves you will unlock a fundamental element of the narcissistic dynamic.
68 thoughts on “Fury”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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Hi HG –
Sorry if this has already been addressed, and I didn’t see it. I was wondering if you think that for you, and many other male narcissists, your narcissism manifested as a result of watching the dynamic between your parents; moreover, because perhaps your perception of your father was that he was a pathetic excuse for a man; hence, you were determined, come hell or high water, you would not end up like him. And therefore, at the tiniest hint that a woman is doing or saying something that seems to imply control of you in the most infinitesimal way, you “put her in her place.” And, perhaps, you became the Ultra because, not only were you hell-bent on not being like your father, but your uncle was so domineering, and the polar opposite of your father, so you idolized your uncle and dedicated your efforts to be like him (and he was a Greater). Maybe Greaters had a similar situation to yours; and for the Lessers and Mid-Rangers, they might have watched the parental dynamic like yours, but didn’t have someone like your uncle to set an example from which to learn. Perceiving the father as pathetic could be two-fold, because he submits to the mother and he doesn’t protect the children from the abuse.
My narcissist told me that he had to have a woman that would be waiting at home for him, “ready to serve” him when he got home, and who “knew her place and took care of the house and her man.” I remember him telling me that it was because his mother dominated and ran the show, and he thought his father was pathetic, because he wouldn’t stand up to her and he would walk around with his tail between his legs and kiss her ass because he wanted to get laid, so he submitted to her controlling ways. I think his father even explained it to him that way, and told him that’s what men have to do in order to get the sex that they want from the woman. He said he would never end up like his father. I think that is why my narcissist turned out the way he did.
I claim to turn it into furry for the season. Furry!
Pahahaha!
I love furry!
At one time I wanted to have a pet shop. I was going to call it Woofers and Tweeters, Feathers and Fur.
Seriously? Call a pet shop “Woofers and Tweeters, Feathers and Fur” – isn’t that quite a mouthful? Imagine you answering the phone to customer enquiries……
It could be shortened to WTF and Fur 🙂 I think that’s kind of catchy.
Laughing….. yeah, maybe not include the word ‘and’?……. that’s just me 😉
Haha, LET
Ha ha! I like that!
WTF’n Fur, WTF n Fur, or WTF in Fur.
So many options.
Why not? Or I could call it Woofers, Tweeters, Feathers and Fur. Like a lawfirm. Or I could simply answer the phone with Woofers and Tweeters.
Woofers and Tweeters are speakers in case you didn’t know that.
How about Wuff and Stuff – taxidermists?
Laughing……almost hysterically laughing…..
Ha ha! Oh, god! You’re so funny at times. I bet you hear that often. (referring to the exclamation “Oh, god!”)
Laughing….. yes, I do have a ‘woofer’ – really useful when you are blaring Banarama with your hearing aids off on New Year’s Eve with the speakers next to the neighbouring wall – well I was having my own ‘party’ – god, I hated those neighbours (laughing) – never did get any visits from Environmental Health either (laughing)….
Sounds like it was a fun party. Do they still live there?
Hating your neighbors is a good reason to move, although, it doesn’t mean you will end up with good neighbors unfortunately. I have it best; no neighbors.
LOL, I was on my own in my house. I just wanted to piss them off because of all the things and damage and theft of my land – which I got back long after my own NYE ‘party’……. no, I didn’t have to move – they wanted to sell their house but couldn’t while they were in possession of my land so they had to put that right first (all to their cost – so I actually beat the narcissists without doing anything!)……. so I have good neighbours now, so it’s a win-win to me (laughing)…… good to know that you have no neighbours 🙂
Oh, boy. Sounds like you had some real issues to deal with due to your neighbors. I’m sorry to hear that. I’m glad you beat the narcissists!
Yeah, they were fkg AWFUL. The things I can list would be too big for the internet to handle! Yeah, they were REAL pi**ed off cos they spent thousands on demolishing the fence, erecting a wall, taking 10 square metres of my land, paying for a chartered surveyor, only then to pay for the wall to be demolished and a new fence erected ON THE BOUNDARY that they moved over 20 years ago and I have lived here for 10 years…… LOL – they should not have fkd with an Aspie who has research & fact obtaining skills…… so, yeah, I fkd them alright. Woo Hoo!
Good job getting your land back.
Bananarama!!!! Oh god they did exist, I totally forgot hahaha!
I did once choose 3 cats from a shelter based upon naming them Jasper, Quigley and Heinz. But Heinz soon became better known as Stumpy due to her abnormally short legs!
My father called her Stumpy. I must admit I do have some fond memories of my father.
I am not a cat lover, give me a dog any day. Cats, nah, pain in the arse. The sasquatches allowed their cat to sh*t on my lawn, I went absolutely crazy over that….. cats always tend to toilet anywhere else but their own territory…… (that is my ‘rant’ about cats).
Well I’m sorry to hear you don’t like cats. I love them. I love all animals, really, but it always comes down to cats.
“cats always tend to toilet anywhere else but their own territory”; I try to live my life in this very same way.
How odd. Most people prefer to use the bathroom in familiar circumstances.
Ha ha!
Well, I do live on a farm, you know. I have had to take a “wild wee”, and I’m not above doing so.
That’s your territory then.
Please, doctor, PLEASE!!! Your patient is dying!! She needs you now!
Please take 20 minutes away from the comments and give her mouth to mouth! Giver her what she so desperately needs!! Please breathe the life into her!! Your patient can only be so patient!
Ah, bloody hell……. that one is too good, HG. Laughing. Oh, the sarcasm. Brilliant. The best laugh I have had today, thank you.
I think HG’s response is apt. Besides, I don’t have to like cats….
No, you don’t have to like cats. I’m not trying to convince you to like cats.
Wuff and Stuff is great. This could work for a taxidermy or pet shop!
Wuff & Stuff, I’ll take……
I think Ruff & Stuff sounds better.
I had a dog named Ruffles and I called her Ruff Ruff or simply Ruff.
That’s like calling a person Talk or Speak!
La…..
Laughing….
Ha ha! True!
Rather than Ruff & Stuff I think I’m settling on Ruff Stuff. Yes. I like it.
Laughing….. I think you have missed the ‘point’……
I understood what he meant in his comment that calling my dog Ruff was like calling a person talk or speak. Like if I named my cat meow. I was focusing on my pet shop name.
I did once have a chicken named “Bok Bok”.
Talk or Speak hahaha
My first pet was the cutest tiny white dwarf bunny with black eyes named Hunny Bunny. So small that even as a child she fit n my hand. I would walk her on a tiny leash/harness & i dont know what I did wrong but she would attack people. Like the bunny from Monty Python
Aww! How cute! That’s so sweet that you walked it on a leash. Rabbits are so adorable, especially the dwarf varieties. I had a rabbit once when I was very young. She kept escaping her cage and going into the neighbors garden. Mrs. Lutz, who had a very heavy accent and was hard to understand. But she was very understanding and would just take the rabbit into the house until I retrieved it. I can’t remember the rabbit’s name.
Have you heard of Flemish Giants? I wanted one once but I never did get it.
I have saved many baby rabbits here at the farm.
I had a cat once named Hunny Bunny.
Like have fur in your mouth?
Dunno, I’ve not had that experience…..
You don’t have pets, I assume?
It depends what you define as ‘pet’……
Yes, in the past I had guinea pigs, a chinchilla and a dog as pets – not all at the same time though.
Lots of fur! Enough to accidentally get some in your mouth! Haha
No comment.
Haha! You make it sound worse than it was meant to be.
“Like have fur in your mouth?” – your comment 10 hours ago.
I have never stuffed one of my pets in my mouth. I am not that perverse. It’s my mouth and I can decide what to put in it. If I want to suck a dick, then I will. If I want to suck a man’s balls, then I will. But I draw the line at putting a furry animal in my mouth. Ok?
AE, wtf? I was just kidding. I have two dogs and have dog hair all over my clothes all the time. That’s all I was talking about. I used the word fur because of Njfilly’s title for the pet shop. And if you want to put someone’s balls in your mouth, go for it! Whatever makes you happy.
Alright, thank you for explaining. Yeah, I know all about dog hairs everywhere but my dog wasn’t that type. Yeah, apparently men like that & there’s a knack for that, I’ll say no more
This thread is really good!! So funny!
It is AV! And the title is spelt FURY not FURRY….. FFS (laughing)….. sometimes it is ‘how the fk has the conversation arrived to this?!’….. (laughing)…. I suppose I contribute – Guilty as hell…
That’s an awesome name, Njfilly.
Thanks.
See, I pick the name first, now I must find the pet shop that it fits.
Names are important.
Yes, I agree.
I don’t have any pets NJ but I’d come to your shop just because I love the name so much.
Thank you!
Great book. Helped me understand my mother a lot more.
Thank you.
You are welcome.
My ex woke up and told all the children that basically marriage isnt there thing and that they want to find a different partner.
Was all that said for fury and too get a reaction?
Difficult to answer without providing more information and context.
I will consult with you.Is there a discount for the narc detector
No current discount.
Thank You
Fury was my ex
Terrible,
Always lashing out.