The 7 Truths About Narcissistic Friendships



  1. Our friends don’t really like you


The people that we choose to provide our inner and outer circle of friends have all been charmed by us and roped into our sphere of influence for the purpose of providing us with fuel, traits and residual benefits. They in return are granted repeated audiences with ourselves, they are able to gaze on the Sun King and benefit from their association with such a social titan. When you are admitted to my sphere of influence as an intimate partner these friends of mine only like you because they know that this is their role and they must do so in order to remain able to attend my court. Should I give the instruction they will turn their backs on you in an instant. Never believe that you can turn to them in a moment of need. You will head straight into a brick wall. Should you be admitted into my sphere of influence as another member of the inner or outer circle then these friends are your competitors. They are all seeking my favour, either to remain in the inner circle or to achieve promotion to it, such is the allure and attraction of being friends with me. These other friends will smile and welcome you, because that is what is expected of them but they are smiling assassins who will pounce and delight in plunging the dagger of isolation and ostracising into your back should I will that to happen. You are entering a viper’s nest.

  1. It is a one-way street

You will benefit from your association with me as a friend and you will enjoy my company, who would not when I am charming, magnetic and interesting but you are only allowed to occupy this positon so long as you are giving. You must provide me with the fuel to keep me topped-up through your praise and admiration. I expect you to be an errand boy for me, you will carry out my machinations on my behalf when I require you to manipulate someone by proxy, you will get me things, give me things and do things for me all because you want to stay in the elevated position of my friendship. It is also highly likely that I will possess some information about you or something you want which compels your compliance also. You are the giver and I am the taker. It is one way.

  1. Our friends do not know what we are

The blazing brightness of our brilliance is such that it obscures what we really are. Any complaints about our behaviour will be met with rejection and a confused response. They have always been treated well by us. We let them join us and we allow them to follow in our wake which has numerous benefits. They have no idea what we actually are for if they did they would no continue to be part of our retinue. They do not want to know any different however because they have been brainwashed into thinking that the status quo is to their advantage and therefore they see no reason to entertain anybody who seeks to usurp us.

  1. Your friends are all targets

I have no interest in making friends with your friends. They are beneath me but I will regard them as targets. There may well be your replacement amongst them and how satisfying would that be to corrupt one of your supporters to turn against you and sit at my right hand? I will charm and ensure that your friends think well of me as this will not only make my seduction of you as my primary source far easier, it will also provide me with fuel, traits and residual benefits as well. You friends are targets to be my new primary source, members of my coterie and even lieutenants so that I have a fifth columnist in your camp willing to act on my behalf when the inevitable devaluation begins.

  1. Our friendships are defined by the usefulness


As I have explained the concept of friendship for us all about what we can take from it and therefore so long as someone is providing us what we require, complying with our wishes and carrying out what we want then the friendship will endure. Should one of our friends see through us, turn against us or begin to fail in their assigned role it is of little consequence to us that we may have known them for ten years or more. It is of no concern that we go drinking with them every Friday, if they do not function as a constituent appliance then they will be switched off, excluded and replaced. We make friends easily and we keep them far easier than you might think. Very few leave us. We usually do the jettisoning.

  1. Our friends must never outshine us

We like our friends to be beautiful and handsome but not better looking than us. We like to have a beautiful crowd around us, it signals to the world that we are special. We want the interesting folk, the talented, the successful and so forth as we are able to steal traits from all of these people to accentuate our own success and popularity so we are better able to seduce more people into our sphere of influence. We want them to achieve, look good, be fascinating so long as none of them outshine us. We benefit from the reflected glory but it must not shine brighter than our star otherwise someone will have to be exited. There is only room for one king on this throne.

  1. We appear to like our friends but we like their fulfilment of The Prime Aims really

The members of our inner or outer circles often appear to be liked by us. This is purely the outer manifestation of our fuel-filled selves. What we really like is that our friends are satisfying The Prime Aims. The fact we say you are a good badminton partner, really means that you provide us with fuel and the residual benefit of having someone to undertake some sporting exercise with. The fact we declare we enjoy our morning lift-share with you, really means we enjoy the fuel you provide and that you are providing the residual benefit of enabling us to save money. Remain within our control, fulfil one or more of the prime aims and as a friend, a Non Intimate Secondary Source you will appear to be liked.

16 thoughts on “The 7 Truths About Narcissistic Friendships

  1. Pingback: De 7 sannhetene om narsissistiske vennskap - Psykopatene blant oss
  2. Violetta says:

    DM headline:

    “‘After all I’ve done for Trump’: What Pence told Senate ally James Inhofe after President threatened him and sent rabble to Congress where they chanted ‘where’s Mike Pence’ and stalked halls looking for him”

    I.e., “5. Our friendships are defined by the usefulness.”

  3. Violetta says:

    “It is a one-way street”

    Some of the Republicans who supported Trump even after he started acting like Bruno Ganz in Downfall are finding that out.

    Of course, Trump also has the opportunity to find that out. Not that he’ll get it: the rats on the gangplank are just “traitors.”

    The Democratic equivalent is Cali’s Newsome, who thought he could cling to Harris’s coattails, but is apparently being distanced.

    Are alliances any different from friendships to a narc?

  4. Alex 93 says:

    Hey HG. I know you’ve mentioned there are people who are narcissistic that are not narcissists w/ emotional empathy being a key difference between the two groups. I know from your work that the best relationships empaths will have will be with other non-narcissists (empaths & normals) while implementing no contact with narcissists. Can a solid friendship be formed between an empath and an individual who’s narcissistic (not a narcissist) or should that group of individuals be avoided as well?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You should exercise caution with that group also.

      1. Alex 93 says:

        Understood. Thank you HG.

    2. NarcAngel says:

      Great question.

  5. Blondie says:

    Excellent article, number 1 and 7 especially…I witnessed alot of these actions but took along time to put the pieces together. !

  6. Maeve says:

    You’re so full of it, you should change your name to B.S.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Ah, so Maeve comes crawling back in demonstrating more of what she is.

      1. Makes an observation elsewhere which was provocative and inaccurate. Is roundly corrected and in unable to reflect and admit her error. Instead, stays silent.
      2. Time passes and unable to stay away from the world’s best information about narcissism, she continues to read but the envy is too much to handle, control is threatened and she has to comment with this admittedly poor and unimaginative attempt at provocation.

      Provides you all with a further example of the relevant behaviour though.

      1. Asp Emp says:

        Hello HG,

        Found an article that I thought was appropriate for “Maeve”…..(would have used article ‘Provocation’ but “Maeve” would have got the wrong “message” (laughing)

    2. Asp Emp says:

      B.S = Big Stud. You’re right, he is….

  7. A Victor says:

    This is perfect timing! Emailed to my daughter.

  8. Shel says:

    I have learned the hard way… these “friends” have a different reality. And, obviously, not really my(our) friends… but only his, without question.

    1. Cup Cakes says:


  9. Asp Emp says:

    Useful to know this, especially when empaths have gained knowledge about narcissism – how ironic, the fact that the narcissists themselves (apart from yourself, HG) are not aware of what they are.

    Empaths should also remember this article, especially when they may be starting a new job – that not all people (narcissists) are necessarily being ‘nice’ to you when in fact they are and will always be looking after their own personal ‘Prime Aims’, even when at work.

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