The Narc Days of Christmas – No. 7
17 thoughts on “The Narc Days of Christmas – No. 7”
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The extended silent treatments, a narcissist favourite tool of the trade. The holiday season wouldn’t be the same without one of those doled out! I began to enjoy them since it gave me a break from listening to the stupid long winded tirades. I am so glad I don’t have to be subjected to that any more!
HG, I’ve had a fair few messages from Ns (all of whom I believe have me painted white) and in slightly different ways, they either ‘welcome me aboard’ tier 4 or if they’re in a lower tier laugh at the fact I’m in tier 4. It literally has no impact on my life whatsoever at the moment anyway lol. I pretend to them that it does matter to me just to maintain the peace and allow them to feel in control (only because I’ve learned this is helpful and if I was painted black i wouldn’t allow it haha). Does it just make them feel better to think that others are going through a rough time? It’s so fucked up? Even if it did have an affect on me, I’d be genuinely happy for others who are in lower tiers.
I guess I may will be presented to shelf christmas from any narcissist I´ve got ensnared by as a ´´intimate source ´´ of fuel . Who I haven´t identified as narcissist yet . I´am starting to think I´m not such a favourable ´´Target ´´ anymore . Since I finished my therapy for my BPD and gained insight in my self-sacrifice behaviour . Personality tests and more . The adjusments I made based on that information made every narcissist I was in contact with change their control techniques as if I was receiving the Gold or Bronze period once again respite I guess . But after I took the Empath detector test results : majority Codependent lesser percentage on all the other schools from the Empathic group . Cadre majority Carrier and Saviour Magnet equally . Gave the biggest insight in my self insight journey this year . I feel like I’am getting dropped left and right by narcissist ”shelved ” or dis-engaged from . It’s bittersweet as I understand my addiction(addiction package HG Tudor) to the narcsissist I just can’t be the Empath to the fullest so this bores me in a way . But I’am very happy to know my fuel isn’t appealing to them that much at this point .Even MatriNarc is shelving me repeatedly . So I know my observations are correct . This pandemic turned her into an plot terrorist lol she drives me nuts and want negative fuel from a lot . Wish me luck as I’ll be celebrating Chrismas with her good lordt ! . One of my nieces a Empath and the other a Narcissist will attend too this will be full time entertainment in such a boring year lol . I gladly could keep the other two narcissist far away my brother and sisther because it would’ve been a fight like the old days . I don’t want my children in that type off activity . Well I,ve learnend much about narcissim again this year all because off HG”s work THANK YOU MUCH and the comments I’ve read from my fellow empaths . I wish everyone joyfully holidays and self improvement . ’till next your Much Love !!
You are welcome.
Doforluv1,
My mother has/had strong bpd traits, especially during my childhood. She got better with age. Don’t stop investing in yourself. My mom is enjoying her life more than ever.
Anm, thank you for this comment, so good to read this morning, “My mom is enjoying her life more than ever.”. Getting older is not easy, these encouraging bits do help.
Thank you much for the encouring comment Anm and I,am very happy to read that about your mothers mental health .
as a teenager I´ve been misdiagnosed so last year after 10 years off being stable I went back to get the right diagnose did a few tests etc and I got the BPD on paper . after that I tried group therapy sessions but I was still stable at that time I went just in case . It did help to stop blaming myself for everything and recognize destructive relationships . but mostly I had to add HGs work in my observations because most off the time I was triggered by an narcissist . It was a very difficult environment everyone had moren or bigger problems than me so I just sat most of the time silent or worry about try to encourage them . So my pshycologist and I decided i no longer needed any programs . Now I´m just enjoying life confident and strong lol much love !
Doforluv1, and avictor,
Bpd women don’t get enough credit for the positive traits that they posses. Most women with bpd are intensely passionate. I can total understand the interest that narcisisst have towards bpd lovers. When my mom is just engaging in conversation with a narcissist, the chemistry is off the wall. They just eat up the fuel, and you can just see the narcissist eyes light up. In her 20’s and 30’s, she focused on all the wrong things, and she was self destructive. In her 40’s she sort of hit a midlife crisis, but for the better. She didn’t like her life, so she decided to change it. All the passion that she had that went towards obsessing over negativity, now went towards working on herself. Impressively , she went back to school, and completed both her bachelor’s degree and her master’s within a 4 year period, WHILE she was working full time. That meant she only slept 4 hours a night and her eyes were blood shot from hitting the books all the time. But she was crazy enough to get things done that a reasonable person wouldn’t even attempt to do. When she hit menopause, she surprisingly felt better than before. Her sex drive toned down a bit, and her moods didn’t flexuate as much. Not sure if this is normal with all bpd, but it sure helped her. Now, in her 50s, she is still the same person. She is still unapologetically prone to seek novelty, and impulsive. But she has laid the ground work that all that is ok now. My kids love her, and she will impulsively spend money on them . But it’s her money, her life, and she is now good with herself and her relationships.
Its very good to read about your mothers trasformation in her adulthood ,she accomplished al her goals and gave her all to selfcare . Its something that can happen with BPD sufferes when passing their 30s the symptoms tone done or even disappear so yeah thats correct .
I´am a high functioning silent borderliner so most off the time people did/do notice nothing about my condition . I do not have the hyper sexuality or substance abuse or the moodswings openly . Its just shows more inwards . I think there are kind hearted borderliners who get overlooked because off the stereotyping off how BPD sufferes are portrayed and I believe their are cold hearted BPD sufferes as well , We are absolutely not all the same . Many with a good personality and high empathic traits are out there . The relationship between the Narcissists and Borderliners has much to do with our mental illnes similarities . It goes far deeper there is much informtion about this online , books or documentaries about that subject .
Much love and care
Dearest Doforluv1,
Great to hear from you
Hugs to you beautiful, stay safe
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
awwhh ty 😄 HNY Bubbles 🥂😘
much luv !!
The good old Silent Treatment. No Christmas without a lovely Silent Treatment. PatriNarc used to pack out his incredible sulk. 😀 😉
M’y ex LMR hasn’t spoken to me since divorce. That’s 12 yrs.
can’t see his part in it. Can’t see it’s unhealthy for the kids. Still triangulates adult kids with me. He’s got them feeling sorry for him this xmas by using his sick hospitalised mother to gain sympathy. So even though the kids know him and his games they have fallen for this.
Dad needs are greater this Xmas mum so we are going to spend time with him during Xmas lockdown. He told them he’d been very low during last lockdown coz he couldn’t socialise. Pity play. He would break rules last lockdown and was v strict coz he didn’t want to catch it.
Tier 4 lockdown – he’s breaking rules to have both kids with him – so thé can’t see me.
They’ve also said dad finds it difficult to express his emotions – nope that’s their emotional thinking. He doesn’t have emotions other than rage and jealousy.
He told one of the kids – I’ve been telling you to call your grandmother and now it’s too late! Guilt tripping. Blame shifting. She was mortified.
They forgive him so quickly by seeking rational reasons why he’d be like that.
Dad can’t express emotion so inside Hes upset.
Dad is depressed – couldn’t see his friends during lockdown – his choice. This is manipulation for attention and triangulation so they prioritise his needs over mine.
Hes cooking curry for Xmas coz he always stresses and causes over a roast. More manipulation.
He told one daughter who is struggling financially how much the other had spent out on a present for her – so you’d better get her something nice. Guilt tripping, manipulation, triangulation, control and the wrong meaning about gift giving.
He also either gives them crap presents or grandiose but still crap presents that he’s got as a bargain.
One went to him for a loan to help buy a house. He told her £25k was nothing a drop in the ocean. But he’d refused to pay her last two years school fees for same money – coz he was broke and coz I had divorced him. To try to blame shift.
She didn’t get the loan – he wanted to choose the house.
Just like his father did to us.
Well, that might be quite pleasant. Couldn’t get mine, none of them, to stop talking. Hahaha.
That is actually a gift… while he’s at it, let’s shoot for all of eternity.
Only 7 weeks? My N egg donor went years without speaking to me and this was while I was still a minor living in her and my milque toast dad’s house! Her golden child, my N sister, has gone 6 years without speaking to me. I was upset at first but now I see it as a gift. At 70 years old, she’s chasing around after husband #5 and the one she is chasing is a 75 year old serial adulterer (former mayor of our town-he is well known for his bedroom exploits) and she would be his #6 if they get hooked up. Both are caricatures of themselves. Who needs a sister like that? Trash!!!
Erm….. there’s only 5 fingers here (well, if one wants to be pedantic about it – 4 fingers and 1 thumb)….. still, it’s only 5….. so here is….
https://narcsite.com/2020/11/14/provocation-21/
5 + 2 = 7.
There. I am a perfectionist. Ok, I am not 100%…. but, who’s counting…. (OMG, the provocation of it all)….. that’s 7 lashings, yet I still plead the 5th……