Hark! The Somatic Narc


(To the tune of Hark the Herald Angels Sing)


Narc, the somatic loud does sing,

Returning from his latest fling,

Sexual conquests he finds wild,

Now it’s your turn to be defiled

Turgid all his erections rise,

With a blue pill that’s no surprise.

He wants your body to proclaim

You are the best I cannot complain

Narc the somatic he likes to swing

Sexual diseases he will bring

Narc, the highest heaven he assured,

Narc, with gifts he can’t afford,

Last in time behold him come,

Whilst he spanks you on the bum,

Exposed in flesh the god you’ll see,

Gathering fuel so expertly,

Pleased as punch he starts to swell,

He’s steamier than Emmanuel,

Narc, the seducer here to bring

Sexual conquest is his thing.

Hail the ripped,buff gym bunny,

Hail the displays of his money,

Gifts galore to you he brings,

Even one which often stings,

Looks so good you’ll want to cry,

See that twinkle in his eye,

Born to cheat online he’ll surf,

Bring you crashing down to earth

Narc the somatic with shiny ring,

Hoping to him you’ll always cling.

12 thoughts on “Hark! The Somatic Narc

  1. A Victor says:

    Somatics strike me as being gross though I don’t know if I’ve ever met one.

    1. A Victor says:

      Update, I was married to one, turns out he was gross.

  2. Anm says:

    HG, I have not received any push back from narcissist this holiday season, at least yet. However, it’s usually clockwork. I can usually predict that from Thanksgiving (November) until Valentine’s day (february), it’s usually a really rough time, and then the narcisisst gets bored, and things level off for a while. I haven’t had that many issues this holiday season. I don’t know if it is from covid, or what. I’m greatful, but I can’t help but wonder what’s up

    1. Another Cat says:

      Maybe you are long gone too wise to indulge their hoovers.

      1. Anm says:

        The narcisisst was getting attention other places. I dealt with the obnoxious issues like the narcissist leaving me alone for Christmas, but calling my family members to do favors. When I told my family members to ignore the narcisisst, it made me look like the bad guy. Then these family members resent me for this. So annoying.

  3. All about that Narc says:

    If this doesn’t provide the perfect description, I don’t know what would.

  4. December Infinity says:

    I enjoyed reading the revised lyrics, gave me a good laugh! Thank you HG 8)

  5. Witch says:

    Speaking of somatic bacchanal I have to share this with you guys because I’ve been laughing about it for a full 24 hours..
    I saw this screenshot being shared online of messages between a married man and woman who are cheating with each other.
    The man says he’s been ignoring the woman because she wants the D every 15mins and is never satisfied and the last time they got together they went 6 rounds and it still wasn’t enough for the woman.
    The woman says “are you not man enough?”

    The man:

    “My sister, if I have gone 6 rounds and I’m not man enough please, let me be a woman”

    🤣🤣🤣🤣 I’m never getting over this

  6. Another Cat says:

    It’s like they are their own gender, narcs.

  7. Asp Emp says:

    This one is very well done, HG.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      But of course!

  8. leelasfuelstinks says:

    H.Geeeee, this is coool! 😀 😀

    But you know what? Somehow the somatics appear to me much more “human” than the cerebrals/cerebral-elites. Maybe because PatriNarc is somatic and I carry a little somatic narc in me?

Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.