The Narcissist´s Need For the Constant Companion
32 thoughts on “The Narcissist´s Need For the Constant Companion”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
I just copied this from somewhere else but I think it’s spot on with narcissist.
This woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, “You know what? You have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?”
“What dear,” she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
“I think you’re bad luck…..”
Thank you for doing this video, HG, it was insightful which aids and furthers my understanding into the dynamics of narcissism.
You are welcome.
HG,
Is the need for constant companion a reason to video, audio tape the IPPS, when the Narcissist is not home?
If so, what type of Narcissist does this? And why?
Thank you in advange.
Can you be clearer about what you are referring to. Do you mean the IPPS knows they are being recorded by the narcissist, say through a Skype call with the narcissist when the narcissist is away or do you mean that the narcissist is recording the IPPS with say surveillance cameras whilst he is away?
I mean surveillance cameras and audio recording whilst he is away, and without letting the IPPS know, she is being recorderd.
Assertion of control.
Aha, thank you.
You are welcome.
Excellent video HG.
Regarding the trait acquisition that occurs with the constant IPPS, are these traits maintained beyond the life of the formal relationship with the IPPS that they were acquired from? Do these skills and traits remain in the narcissist’s repertoire and will he or she draw upon them in future with subsequent IPPS’s? Or are those traits mostly abandoned, once a new IPPS is established (and therefore, new traits are available to draw upon)?
They can sometimes be retained, although more usually they are disengaged also because they are associated with the malfunctioned former IPPS.
Thank-you HG. That is interesting.
A recent (handmade) gift to my son from his father made me curious as well, since the skill involved was one that he had picked up during our time together. But he could have just kept the item from back then and not necessarily be engaging that skill again.
But I find that interesting that they may disengage with a particular skill or pursuit because they associate it with the former IPPS.
This surprises me too Who Cares but partially answers another question.
Particularly in relation to the Greater narcissist whose levels of cognitive empathy are almost indistinguishable from genuine emotional empathy, I couldn’t really wrap my head around the trait acquisition side. You mastered your disguise, you are practically undetectable, so what do you need us for, apart from fuel? They likely already have a broader range of skills than many of us have. If there is something specific, status, contacts etc, those remain relevant.
In my mind, observing us to mimic us, cherry pick skills from us and become more adept at the game of perceived empathy didn’t seem all that relevant to the Greater. If they tend to ‘drop’ these skills and character traits then this might make more sense to me. If they need to constantly witness emotional output in order to accurately portray it, that might make sense too. Tougher to remember an expression for something you don’t actually feel.
Truthseeker,
Those are interesting thoughts and observations regarding the Greater narcississt and trait acquisition.
I am reminded of a recent video – but the name escape me – regarding – where HG talks about the range of emotional options, like on a carousel, that are available to various schools of narcississt – at least with regard to emotional responses and – of course the options available to the Greater and/or Ultra are more extensive. And there are some that are acquired but never put into use…wish I could remember what video!
I asked HG a follow up question after his answer above with specific regard to trait acquisition and the Greater/Ultra category. Perhaps, when he has time to answer it, HG will shed some light on it for both of us.
Who Cares,
The 404 narcissist?
I’m wondering if it’s something along the lines of the fact that whilst with the IPPS certain of her phrases are adopted for example, catchphrases, accent even, particular diet she might subscribe to. The narcissist adopts her views, uses her catchphrase himself, even picks up a slight accent. He adopts them as it draws her in but enables him to fit seamlessly with her friends family and work colleagues. He disengages and has no need to retain the accent, drops her speech pattern and catchphrases etc. No longer remains vegan because he didn’t fully subscribe to it anyway. Moves on, adopts new traits.
I still struggle with the specific need for character traits and residual benefits on the part of the Greater. They can pay for most of the residual benefits and move in similar circles so shouldn’t need to constantly reinvent or seek traits per se, other than to slide more quickly into the life of the IPPS. They need constant emotional traits perhaps. The need to witness regularly to copy. Like losing your ability to speak a foreign language if you don’t use it regularly. I can appreciate traits relating to contacts, social status, social circle would be a constant necessity but not really much more than that.
Truthseeker,
Yes! Thank-you. It is ‘The 404 Narcissist’, I had a re-listen.
“8
The Narcissist´s Need For the Constant Companion
3d ago
Visit HG Tudor – Knowing The Narcissist – The World’s No.1 Resource About Narcissism for the full post.
24
8
MORE IN HG TUDOR – KNOWING THE NARCISSIST – THE WORLD’S NO.1 RESOURCE ABOUT NARCISSISM
Shia LaBeouf : A Very Pitiful Narcissist
Shia LaBeouf is no stranger to controversial behaviour and he has recently found himself facing serious allegations. Is he merely a tortured artist who suffers…
The Narcissist´s Smirk
24 COMMENTS
jonathan hart
jonathan hart
3d ago
Hi there
ReplyLike
NarcAngel
NarcAngel
jonathan hart
3d ago
Hi
ReplyLike
WhoCares
WhoCares
3d ago
Excellent video HG.
Regarding the trait acquisition that occurs with the constant IPPS, are these traits maintained beyond the life of the formal relationship with the IPPS that they were acquired from? Do these skills and traits remain in the narcissist’s repertoire and will he or she draw upon them in future with subsequent IPPS’s? Or are those traits mostly abandoned, once a new IPPS is established (and therefore, new traits are available to draw upon)?
ReplyLike
HG Tudor
HG Tudor
WhoCares
3d ago
They can sometimes be retained, although more usually they are disengaged also because they are associated with the malfunctioned former IPPS.
ReplyLike
WhoCares
WhoCares
HG Tudor
3d ago
Thank-you HG. That is interesting.
A recent (handmade) gift to my son from his father made me curious as well, since the skill involved was one that he had picked up during our time together. But he could have just kept the item from back then and not necessarily be engaging that skill again.
But I find that interesting that they may disengage with a particular skill or pursuit because they associate it with the former IPPS.
ReplyLike
Truthseeker6157
Truthseeker6157
WhoCares
2d ago
This surprises me too Who Cares but partially answers another question.
Particularly in relation to the Greater narcissist whose levels of cognitive empathy are almost indistinguishable from genuine emotional empathy, I couldn’t really wrap my head around the trait acquisition side. You mastered your disguise, you are practically undetectable, so what do you need us for, apart from fuel? They likely already have a broader range of skills than many of us have. If there is something specific, status, contacts etc, those remain relevant.
In my mind, observing us to mimic us, cherry pick skills from us and become more adept at the game of perceived empathy didn’t seem all that relevant to the Greater. If they tend to ‘drop’ these skills and character traits then this might make more sense to me. If they need to constantly witness emotional output in order to accurately portray it, that might make sense too. Tougher to remember an expression for something you don’t actually feel.
ReplyLike
hide 5 replies
WhoCares
WhoCares
Truthseeker6157
2d ago
Truthseeker,
Those are interesting thoughts and observations regarding the Greater narcississt and trait acquisition.
I am reminded of a recent video – but the name escape me – regarding – where HG talks about the range of emotional options, like on a carousel, that are available to various schools of narcississt – at least with regard to emotional responses and – of course the options available to the Greater and/or Ultra are more extensive. And there are some that are acquired but never put into use…wish I could remember what video!
I asked HG a follow up question after his answer above with specific regard to trait acquisition and the Greater/Ultra category. Perhaps, when he has time to answer it, HG will shed some light on it for both of us.
ReplyLike
Truthseeker6157
Truthseeker6157
Truthseeker6157
2d ago
Who Cares,
The 404 narcissist?
I’m wondering if it’s something along the lines of the fact that whilst with the IPPS certain of her phrases are adopted for example, catchphrases, accent even, particular diet she might subscribe to. The narcissist adopts her views, uses her catchphrase himself, even picks up a slight accent. He adopts them as it draws her in but enables him to fit seamlessly with her friends family and work colleagues. He disengages and has no need to retain the accent, drops her speech pattern and catchphrases etc. No longer remains vegan because he didn’t fully subscribe to it anyway. Moves on, adopts new traits.
“I still struggle with the specific need for character traits and residual benefits on the part of the Greater. They can pay for most of the residual benefits and move in similar circles so shouldn’t need to constantly reinvent or seek traits per se”
TS, I think there are some answers to how/why the Greater does this in both ‘The Imitation Game’ and ‘The Narcissist and Embellishment’. Both of which I revisited after the 404 Narcissist.
Spot on, Truthseeker
Especially the female greater is often mistaken for an empath, as HG has expressed, if I recall correctly.
“Particularly in relation to the Greater narcissist whose levels of cognitive empathy are almost indistinguishable from genuine emotional empathy”
I remember when I had some friends over a couple of Christmases ago. One of the guests, whom I was convinced is a very kind warm person, in a conversation, sort of, made some of us remember how to not be tonedeaf towards vaccine skeptics. She gave a very short eloquent reminder. (She is a quite famous journalist and uni professor)
While very elegantly dressed, she expressed something humble, like “Oh, well….I think….it’s the notion of … having some new unknown substance being put into your body… I understand that that might frighten….”
We quickly levelled up.
Another Cat,
It is quite remarkable isn’t it? Humility is difficult to express naturally so that it’s convincing. Humility just is. You can hear people say the words but the emotional stamp screams ‘fake!’ So for this narcissist to deliver convincingly illustrates just how good they are. I’d love to be in the company of a Greater myself. To watch the slight shifts in body language, listen to the inflection and more so, find out what they feel like!
I’ve seen Upper Mid Range in action, (now that I look back I can see it) and the online Narc was Middle Mid Range, vastly different in approach. I don’t believe I have ever met a Greater.
I imagine the larger the character trait acquisition bank, the more opportunity presents for a Greater to slide seamlessly into any circle undetected. It’s a large part of their currency, and like money, you may not spend it all in one place and save some for a rainy day. Surely a boon for some of the greatest narcissist actors, leaders of industry, and even politics. All circles in which I imagine you would likely find a Greater.
NA,
I like your idea of the Greater’s use of trait acquisition being likened to currency.
The traits acquisition bank!
Bill Clinton was expert at this sort of thing. He’d get this little crack in his voice. You were watching a master.
Truthseeker,
It was the 404 Narcissist – thank-you!
Also, I think there are answers to some of your questions around the Greater’s use of trait acquisition and residual benefits in ‘The Imitation Game’ and ‘The Narcissist and Embellishment’.
A further question…do Greaters, or the Ultra, better retain skills and traits acquired? Or are they subject to the same outcome?
We are better able to determine whether the trait should be retained beyond the knee jerk response of Mid Range or Lessers.
Thank-you for your answer HG.
This is interesting yet not surprising. Can I just ask, would a Lesser / MRN also disengage for the same reason (as you explained above) – even of they are doing it instinctively?
All narcissists disengage for the reasons explained in the article The 5 Disengagement Triggers.
Ok. Thank you, HG, for the reminder of ‘The 5 Disengagement Triggers’.
NarcAngel, Truthseeker
Yes, and also university environments. There are some famous narcissists lurking there. Some in that group are greaters.
… and some church environments, if it coincides with academia, typically catholics. They like to always look stylish and elegant.
Think I’ve only met two in my life.
Being excluded feels very cold. (Before knowledge from HG) you try for years to secondguess yourself.
Hi there
Hi
NA,
I think whoever came up with the term, “Human Capital”, has to be a Narcisisst. Narcissist are obsessed with seeing people as currency.
Everyone here knows I am a single mom of two children. My kids have quite a large age gap between them. It’s not unusual for me to bring extra people with me whenever I take the kids out on the weekends, or when I travel, it’s just better for the kids, and they get better attention this way. Also, when I do exchanges for my daughter, I have friends and family do the exchanges for me because of the narcisisst. HG mentions doing this when co-parenting with a narc to create a buffer, and it DOES help. While I do believe it helps create that buffer, Narcisisst will naturally become jealous, and go into their projection fits.
The Narcissist constantly accuses me of being the Narc with the enterogue , or the codependent. They don’t see an Empath with meaningful relationships around them, they see currency that they would love to get their hands on to strip mine, and either take as their own, or destroy. It’s so pathetic. I’m currently trying to get contact information of a young woman who was the nanny for my daughter while she was at her narcissist fathers house. This woman bent over backwards to be the best nanny, and the narc treated her like garbage. my daughter has had many nannies , but became very attached to this lady. I think if I was a narcisisst , I probably would have either been jealous of the connection this girl has with my daughter, or demanded that the narc allow me to use her as a sitter and have the narc pay for my use of the nanny. Instead, I am very concerned with both my daughter and the nanny being upset with the narcissist discarding the nanny, so I don’t see why my daughter needs to get rid of her, just because her father’s ego.