The Borderline

What is the borderline?

Distant relative of the narcissist or close cousin?

Or something else altogether?

20 thoughts on “The Borderline

  1. content-being-average says:

    Interesting video HD and I question I have often asked myself. Elinor Greenberg (psychiatrist) differentiates BPD from NPD (saying BPD = the pursuit of love) vs (NPD = the pursuit of admiration) as a core need. I like that empathy failures in BPD show it is more likely NPD in sheeps clothing (ie: the female variant). Your comment on Angelina Jolie as a Narc sociopath made me laugh. I work with anti-social offenders and as HG says – it ‘aint an anger management problem — it is FURY with a capital F. Always about control.

  2. Benedetta says:

    I always wondered if Angelina Jolie is a borderline and Brad Pitt a narcissist. He is a chameleon that always “steals traits” of girlfriends, hair, dressing style, interests, she was abandoned by her mother because she looked too much like her father, and therefore she did not get any care or affection. It is said that Jolie is a fan of opioids and Brad Pitt a raging alcoholic. Have you ever thought of that, Mr. Tudor?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Angelina Jolie is a narcissistic psychopath. You can have that one for free.

    2. A Victor says:

      Thank you for asking about this Benedetta, this is a couple I have been curious about also. I have felt sad for their gaggle of children right from the start. Hopefully they find HG’s work early on, if they’re empaths.

  3. Summer says:


  4. S says:

    Fascinating! I have so many questions about this for our next session. S

  5. Asp Emp says:

    HG, it’s good to see your opinion that ‘borderline’ should be removed. I agree. My basis for saying that is the fact (in my opinion) the word ‘borderline’ is too broad and generic.

    Your descriptions in relation to ’emotional empathy’ was really good to read and giving a really good insight into individuals who have experienced ‘trauma’ and / or abuse at some point (if, not all) during their life time (whether they are a narcissist or not).

    “even though the abuses stopped the consequences of it were so extreme that they continue almost like an echo from the original event” – a brilliant way to describe it.

    Another interesting point that you talk about is the fact females are not necessarily ‘counted’ as much as the males due to the ’empathic caring’ characteristic. For a number of years, I had supposed that it was more difficult to spot Autism in females because of the difference between male and female hormones / genetic make-up and as a result, in some way, thinking differently.

    “those which have no awareness at all don’t even realize that they are causing a problem for other people and if it’s pointed out to them you get the blank look they’re at a loss” – this reminded me of HG’s ‘The 404 Narcissist’ video.

    The way you explain – especially in this video – in, my view, the importance of it and the wording you use is so that a lay-person can understand, without the use of jargon or techo-babble. It allows ease of translation into different languages without the need for a lot of ‘deciphering’ to be involved.

    This is a really good video that should (and must) be read / understood by those who are working with people who have experienced trauma / abuse. Those who are training to work in the field of neurological science and / or mental health profession must grasp this understanding.

    I’d like to think that one day, this video will be used during a lecture for those learning about the human psyche.

    HG, this is brilliant, thank you for doing this video.

  6. lisk says:

    “Narcissist Lite”—I love it!

  7. WiserNow says:

    Thank you HG, for explaining this video (and others too) thoroughly and in detail. It makes a lot of sense and provides down-to-earth, practical information.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

  8. Yolo says:

    This information is factual and I’ve found very helpful. Thank you!!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome, good to see you back Yolo.

  9. WhoCares says:


    1. HG Tudor says:

      Succinct. HG approves.

  10. NarcAngel says:

    Enjoyed hearing your take on this. It’s a vague title. I used to think bordering on what? and imagined someone got a large grant to come up with a “catch all” category. The name implies it’s at the edge of something but not fully which as you point out – affords the ability to excuse the behaviour (as in “I’m only on the border of narcissism but possess empathy so I’m not). I wonder if because of this diagnosis, some people mistakenly think narcissists can change (in that perhaps the abuser is just on the “borderline” and therefore has empathy they could tap into – which of course they can’t). I can think of a few examples (one more specifically) here previously who claimed to be diagnosed borderline. They seemed like they had just the slightest hold on cognitive empathy and then would lose their shit completely over something and follow it up subsequently with : I’m borderline and was triggered. A pattern.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Yes, I have heard other people who began thinking the term meant being close to the edge as in “just over” the line and then thinking “Hmm, this person’s behaviour is full on, not just over the line,” another way in which this description of certain people is misleading.

      1. Contagious says:

        I have read of a covert borderline from some expert from Russia who wants a dsm 5 class for this type b. It is mostly male. I wonder if cluster B should be trashed. A spectrum. What’s the difference when someone abuses to control or fears abandonment? Isn’t that control? I know from personal experience. It gets weird I have seen paranoia and a person dissociate. Blank out or create a new reality. I have seen empathy of sorts to dogs to kids etc… but the abuse to me IPSS is without empathy. It is very hard fir me to feel a difference. I have seen different personalities. I just think it’s a cluster fuck of B with the same result. but the big but is borderlines can change with help. How can that be? Narcs can’t. If so closely aligned and one has hope, how can you know?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Covert borderline is a Mid Range Narcissist.

  11. Caity says:

    Another brilliant video, HG. I’ve always thought the term ‘borderline’ was just a catch all diagnosis which seemed the go-to for psychiatrists and psychologists who were too lazy to actually break it down. The “I don’t know, so we’ll call it this” diagnosis.
    Thank you for getting inside this label and explaining what it really is and most importantly, what it is not.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you.

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