Any Hole Will Do

137 thoughts on “Any Hole Will Do

  1. Ciara says:

    H.G. You be killing it! Right,I believe you.Any hole ..Hahaha!😂😃

  2. Kiki says:

    Hi all

    I might be the odd one out but I honestly think newbies come here for HGs advice , articles etc first and foremost.

    It is not our platform it’s HGs.
    This is not meant to sound terrible, I have received some wonderful advice here from all of you .
    I don’t know I just feel that would be stepping on HGs toes a bit especially by flagging we are this type of Empath or that to newbies .It might seem well a bit contrived.

    Just my gut feeling I could be totally incorrect.

    Kiki

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Not to mention the repeated breaches of the confidentiality provisions of the empath detectors.

      1. A Victor says:

        Oh, shoot, I forgot about that!

      2. MB says:

        HG, I thought we had your permission to share our EDC results. I feel like I have done in the past.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Where people have asked and explained the circumstances of disclosure, I have agreed.

          1. MB says:

            Thank you HG.

          2. A Victor says:

            Oh dear, I thought it was acceptable here, on the blog, since people did do it. So sorry. Can you delete them?

          3. HG Tudor says:

            No need to delete for reasons explained in my reply to Witch.

      3. WhoCares says:

        Right, HG. I guess I had lost sight of that given past and discussions on the topic.

        1. WhoCares says:

          given past and *current discussions

          1. A Victor says:

            WhoCares, I am so sorry.

          2. WhoCares says:

            AV,

            There’s nothing to be sorry about; the original idea was not about sharing Empath detector results – it was about saving people’s memories; which isn’t that horrible an idea – especially when new people arrive in cloud of mental fog and their actual cognition may have been seriously impacted from narcissistic abuse.
            We all just got carried away with it.

      4. Witch says:

        Is HG honestly that pressed about this? If he was, wouldn’t he not allow the comments go through?
        Take us all to court, I’m bored anyway

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I made the point, Witch, to reinforce the importance I place in the confidentiality provisions so people understand that they are abided by so people have entire confidence in the process as without it, the system of consultations etc would be adversely affected. I know most people abide by the confidentiality provisions, but I have come across instances of breaches by individuals, occasionally inadvertently on the blog and then more serious instances elsewhere away from the blog which are actionable and in some instances I have had to take appropriate action to maintain the integrity of the system. I do not have an issue with people wanting to discuss their own cadres and schools and to offer their thoughts with regard to how this impacts on them and others etc, this is an interesting discussion for people to have, hence I did not delete the comments (especially since people were only referring to their outcome) but it was a useful opportunity to emphasise the importance and applicability of confidentiality to uphold the credibility of the consultations.

          1. Witch says:

            This is what I thought.
            I don’t see why anyone should feel bad for discussing their empath detector results when the comments are allowed to go through.
            And from a marketing point of view it is free advertising and would probably spark curiosity in newcomers and lead to more people purchasing the product.

          2. Witch says:

            Wait
            I understand what’s going on now, I got confused because the comments arent connected- Kiki’s comment is up here, and the context of the comment and how the discussion started is down below
            Now it makes sense. Thought it was a random complaint about discussing our results. My mistake

      5. fox says:

        Oops. Sorry HG. I believe I might have been one of those.

      6. leelasfuelstinks says:

        Oh crap! I forgot too! Sorry, Sensei, won´t do it again! 🙁

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Point has been made LFS no need for further apologies.

          1. leelasfuelstinks says:

            Thank you, Sensei!

    2. A Victor says:

      Thank you Kiki, I think we have our answer @WhoCares. Never hurts to investigate ideas I suppose.

      1. BC30 says:

        AV, I must have missed a convo somewhere. Curious about the question.

        1. A Victor says:

          A few of us were discussing the idea of a centralized “Meet the Empath” thread. But I believe it is a no go.

          1. BC30 says:

            Ok, ok. I now realize that I didn’t understand what was going on here, that folks wanted a special thread or something. IMHO no need for that, things can easily be searched. A lot of my “research” was found picking through many posts over the years. It’s also interesting to read HG’s oldest comments.

          2. A Victor says:

            That’s my plan now, just go to the start and read through the comments. How do you search comments? Or is it searching the topic and then the comments come too?

          3. BC30 says:

            Google advance search or you can search within Narcsite using the keywords from the articles, then search the keywords in the comments. IDK if that makes sense.

          4. A Victor says:

            Thank you.

          5. WhoCares says:

            AV,

            “How do you search comments? Or is it searching the topic and then the comments come too?”

            I think there’s an art to it. K knows it. Maybe she’ll chime in.

            If you’re looking for something specific you need several keywords to locate it – and even then, I find, it’s hit or miss. K’s got the knack though.

          6. A Victor says:

            Thank you.

          7. leelasfuelstinks says:

            I would LOVE to have that. Would be a wonderful safe-space for us.

          8. Leigh says:

            AV asks, How do you search comments? Or is it searching the topic and then the comments come too?

            It took me a couple of minutes but I found the article where K explains on how to search on google for articles and subsequent comments. See below. Its in the comments of the Armie Hammer article.

            K says:
            January 20, 2021 at 15:05
            Always a pleasure lickemtomorrow!
            If you ever have trouble finding an article, try this trick. Google: narcsite removal of the mask (or whatever words you remember) and voila! There’s a good chance it will pull up the article you are looking for.

            You can also do an image search.

            Google: narcsite, then do an image search. This works really well when you can’t remember the title/words.

          9. A Victor says:

            Hi Leigh, thank you. I will check this out.

      2. WhoCares says:

        Yes, AV.

        1. A Victor says:

          Well WhoCares, thanks for asking anyway. I’m going to work on that, I should not be such a chicken. It was fun to think about and I am glad it was discussed, now I know more about the blog and the thoughts around this.

          1. WhoCares says:

            A Victor,

            “WhoCares, thanks for asking anyway. I’m going to work on that, I should not be such a chicken.”

            Admitting that you are apprehensive about asking HG a question is not being a chicken. Owning up to your fears is not being a chicken.

            I just wanted to say that I am glad you overcame your initial hesitation at taking part in conversation on the blog. I find your contributions insightful, articulate and valuable.

          2. A Victor says:

            WhoCares, wow! That’s a positive spin I did not expect on my struggle! Thank you! Having this conversation really brought that struggle to the front of my mind. I had forgotten about it as I don’t often have to ask for anything nowadays. It’s still something to work through though and I really appreciate your outlook on it.

            And, thank you for the kind words in your last paragraph also, very kind. I am glad I overcame that initial hesitation also. You all have been a huge blessing to me!

    3. BC30 says:

      Welp. That’s the end of that. Party is over.

    4. leelasfuelstinks says:

      What´s wrong about good constructive discussions? Newbies even benefit from them. H.G. is our mentor and I´m sure he can decide very well, what comments are okay and which ones are not. So where´s your problem??!! Are you H.G.s mama or what? 😀

    5. leelasfuelstinks says:

      YES, you ARE the odd one! Look what you did! YOU confused all those nice empaths, and destroyed constructive, enjoyable, nice discussions! We ALL are damaged, we ALL have a lot to talk about, H.G ALLOWS it, so where on earth is YOUR problem??!! Huh?

      WHERE should we go if not HERE, huh? To some forum ran by Mid Rangers? Thank you very much, Bravo!

      I have no idea WHO the fuck should step into H.Gs toes but if that would happen, don´t you think, H.G. would cut that out? Don´t you think H.G. wouldn´t just delete those comments, huh? WHO are you to feel entitled to play the mama of this blog, huh? How dare you?!!

      YOU are the only one who seems to have problem with that! NOBODY is forced to read our comments. So, if you don´t like them, don´t read them! Period!

  3. Bubbles 🍾 says:

    Dear Mr Tudor,
    This definitely “tickled one’s fancy” 😂
    Thank you, luvved it !
    Luv Bubbles xx 😘

  4. Melania1993 says:

    Any hole is a goal! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvp6M25Vwn4

  5. WiserNow says:

    This was very funny! There are so many descriptions for the ‘horizontal hula’! I was chuckling away while struggling to focus on the more serious and informative side of the video.

    My faves:
    – taking a trip to pound town
    – bumping uglies
    – checking the oil
    – testing the suspension

    … ‘attacking the pink fortress’ though…?? Seriously? hahaha 🤣

    On a more serious note, this makes it clear that narcs see other people as ‘appliances’ in every context and sex is no different.

    1. A Victor says:

      Great summary, and, I will have to watch again to be sure I did hear the serious stuff! Thank you for bringing that up!

      1. WiserNow says:

        Thank you A Victor, and you’re very welcome. It’s worth watching twice.

        The second time around it’s easier to understand what each narc school looks for in an intimate partner. I was laughing too much the first time I listened 🙂

      2. Bubbles 🍾 says:

        Dearest A Victor,
        Basically, the narc’s penis has no memory or conscience and goes wherever the hell it wants to 🍆
        🤣
        Luv Bubbles xx 😘

        1. A Victor says:

          Bubbles,

          Ew.

          AV (giggle)

          1. Bubbles 🍾 says:

            Ewwwwwww David 🤣
            Boop!! 🤣

        2. BC30 says:

          Bubbles, every time you pop up you make me laugh, especially here and with the helpful demonstrative emoji.

          Narc memories…😂

          1. Bubbles 🍾 says:

            BC30
            They didn’t have any penis emojis 🥕🌽🌶🍌🥖🍡🍢👆✌️🖕🌭
            Or vaginas 🌮🍑 👄 🍩
            🤣
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

    2. JB says:

      WN, I agree!

      Oh and gosh, those expressions..grim! 😂 So he did say ‘taking a trip to pound town!’ I thought I must have misheard that! 😂

      1. WiserNow says:

        JB,

        Yes, that’s what I heard. At times, I had to pause and go back to re-listen. Maybe it was HG’s accent or deadpan delivery that made me question what I’d heard.

        It was a very educational video, in more ways than one 🙂

        1. JB says:

          WN, it was indeed! 😆

  6. fox says:

    I love your sense of humor, HG. This one had me rolling!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you Fox

  7. Whitney says:

    HG, maybe because he’s an Upper Echelon Elite that’s why he wanted to change my diet. Because my looks were important to him.

  8. Fiddleress says:

    Absolutely brilliant! And the bonus for me was that I learnt plenty of expressions that I didn’t know.

  9. Ciara says:

    H.G. You got me cracking up with those words..Too funny!

  10. Caity says:

    I have never heard so many ways to refer to shagging in my life, nor with such verve! This was amazing in the laughs well as in the residual bite.

    Excellent HG. Thank you!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

    2. Sniglet says:

      What would your ideal terra ingognita look like, HG?

      1. HG Tudor says:

        My inner sanctum.

        1. Snigl37 says:

          It offers a warm welcome then…

  11. Whitney says:

    HG, it took at least 6 months for me to have sex with the first 3. I was in love and thought we’d spend our lives together.

    The one who choked me I had sex with after only a few months and a few dates. My addiction transfered to him. I felt threatened by him because of his dark hair and eyes. The others had pale green and blue eyes. He was an invader. It was strange to kiss him at first.

    I thought he’d never talk to me after having sex. He’s too good looking. Any woman would have a one night stand with him. But he’s still focused on me as his main victim. I find his extreme good looks and obsession with me flattering. Like it says something about my looks. That’s my narcissism. The truth is, is doesn’t matter how I look. I fulfil the prime aims. And looks don’t matter anyway. I should judge myself on other merits.

  12. Alexissmith2016 says:

    Hahahaha brilliant work HG! so bloody accurate!

  13. Jill says:

    What about a Narc with a sex addiction as well? I would love it if you’d do a video on this topic!! I’m curious how if it changes the dynamic and if so how. Thanks, HG!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No such think as sex addiction. It is an excuse for promiscuity, infidelity etc. It is the behaviour of a cadre of narcissist.

      1. Jill says:

        That’s very interesting! I’m almost certain my ex Narcissistic is a middle ranger. He’s been in counseling and even attends a weekly group specifically for this “sex addiction.” He has definitely struggled with infidelity but he had also mentioned other issues such as objectifying women, porn & masturbation, voyeurism, leaving marks spanking & biting, etc, etc…On & on. Also some other behaviors like obsessing over diff things with random women. For example…When we were in the relationship…He’s said he obsessed about what these women’s lady parts looked like or what color of panties they were wearing, etc. He of course has issues with seeking attention & validation from women as well. I’m shocked to hear that it’s all BS! Why are therapists diagnosing people with this and treating them accordingly? WTF! What cadre would it classify him as? I’ve listened to so many of your YouTube videos and your work is amazing and so so helpful in trying to understand what I had been dealing with for 5 years. Ugh! Thank you so much!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You are welcome.

          1. Jill says:

            I just need to schedule a consultation with you. I have so many unanswered questions and things that don’t make sense to me. Look for a request coming soon! Thanks again!

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Jolly good.

  14. A Victor says:

    This is hilarious in addition to being informative, I had to watch it on YT last night just before nodding off, just due the comments people left about it, they were correct!! And the delivery being so deadpan! Perfect!!

  15. Alexissmith2016 says:

    I literally can’t listen to this right now and I’m pretty confident about what I’m going to hear but I still imagine it will be hard hitting and yet what’s needed for many. I’m still very much looking forward to hearing it later – the split second that I can Jeeeeeess!

    1. A Victor says:

      Alexissmith, I believe you will love it! Can’t wait to hear your thoughts if you care to share them!

      1. Alexissmith2016 says:

        Hi AV, I was just anticipating a bit of humour I guess, being many years post NC I’m no longer affected by anything I learn. But still find it all desperately interesting.

        When you’re wrapped up in it all it’s incredibly difficult to get your head around the fact that you meant nothing to the narc and with HG’s humour it just makes the Ns so laughable.

        At least thank god I only ever had sex with a somatic or elite, so at the very least they were fuelled by the sex and they enjoyed how it made their nerve endings feel. and it wasn’t entirely repulsive to them ffs ahahahah but yeah I guess if I hadn’t of been around they might have fucked a ham sandwich instead. Jeees lol we’re so replaceable. Don’t ya ever get to thinking….la..la…la

        My sister, I suspect elite umr, way pre knowledge I always wondered what made her tick, what she truly lived for because whilst always jovial and the centre of it all, she always seemed so empty. Nothing made any sense in my head. It was like there was a complete lack of passion for anything really and yet she lapped up attention like it was one of George Best’s best sessions (crikey not heard that for.a while hahah). But she would always profess how excellent in bed she was etc etc she really believes her own hype too. I have no idea ans I have no desire to know the answer to that one. But I’ve seen her abilities at other things where she gives lots of self praise ans it’s entirely unwarranted.

        Sorry AV I went off on a bit of a tangent there.

        Right let’s get out of bed I’ve got a busy day today. Have a good one AV xx

        1. A Victor says:

          Alexissmith,
          “fucked a ham sandwich instead” hahaha!!! This made my day! Thank you! I’m sure my ex felt the same way!

          Your tangent about your sister is helpful too, no apologies needed! My sister I believe is also a narcissist, I believe also a UMR, like our dad was, heartbreaking but also similar in some ways to your sister I think. Until arriving here and realizing she likely was one, I had the same thoughts about her. where is she coming from? But now it makes much more sense. And also how she has lived her life.

          Thank you for the thoughts and I hope your day was wonderful!

          1. Alexissmith2016 says:

            It’s interesting reading other people’s stories and seeing similarities in our own families AV.

            My trouble is I have a terrible memory, I wish it was better. It would be so helpful if there was a little summary of all regular readers (who were happy to contribute) with details of their family situation past and present and relationship history. I realise that’s not the purpose of the blog but for someone like myself that would be so helpful! I also realise other people’s memories are far better than mine so likely no call for it apart from by me ahahah.

            Anyway, it’s nice to hear that you also have a sister who is similar (of course it would be much nicer if you had no Ns in your family but from a sharing and understanding point of view it’s nice if that makes sense).

            I didn’t speak to mine for 10 years roughly. Total NC. I never responded to any of her hoovers at all. Then a situation changed in our lives which meant I felt I had to. I’ve stayed in touch with her ever since. Only because I’ve since found HG and she has absolutely zero effect on me any more. It’s interesting to see all these subtle manipulations she uses which I had always failed to pick up on before. All I knew back then was she didn’t make me feel good but I had no idea why. Now it’s all so easy to spot and I find it interesting. But there is zero attachment form my perspective. Once I’ve decided someone is no longer part of my life I feel fortunate as no feeling exist for them any more. Any emotions become completely deadened and even if I wanted to I couldn’t make them come back. I guess kind of similar to how a narc must feel nothing for us. It’s a handy attribute.

          2. A Victor says:

            Alexis Smith, your idea about little mini bios was similar to a thought I had yesterday and also something I wished for when I first joined. It would have made it a bit less intimidating to begin commenting and so much less confusing on who was speaking etc. And the stories would stick better in my mind also, with a place to refer back to.

            My sister and I haven’t spoken in probably 10 years. The last thing I remember her saying to me was that she was done trying to figure out what happened to us. I did send her a link to narcsite when I first started here, with reference to our mother and before I suspected her of being a narcissist also, and I could be wrong of course. But she didn’t respond. If she reached out I would interact, she doesn’t upset me and lives very far away.

            It is nice to find things in common with other people, I am enjoying that here very much.

          3. WhoCares says:

            Alexissmith2016,

            “My trouble is I have a terrible memory, I wish it was better.”

            Oh, thank goodness I am not the only one!!

            I think your suggestion of summaries is not a bad idea…not sure if everyone would be up for it – but like you, my memory would appreciate it.

            I especially get mixed up with people’s stories who started commenting roughly around the same time, had something similar about their situation and/or had similarly themed avatars (for example, flower images etc.) … it’s like my brain has a hard time differentiating between them – unless I have had significant one on one conversations with that individual.

          4. Caity says:

            “My problem is I have a terrible memory…” Agreed, but with a caveat.

            I remember nearly everything from the time I was 19 or so, to today, but there are greats swaths of time I’ve lost previous. I mean entire years where my memories are spotty at best; I look at the number of the year, say 1976 and I know how old I was at that time but can only manage a straggling of things I saw, felt, believed, realised. So much is just gone, especially things when I was a child.

            I’ve finally come to the conclusion that the blank places have been wiped out because of the suffering, the hurt. The abuse. (I hope that this doesn’t trigger anyone!)

            I wish I could look back, honestly. I’m in a much stronger place (thanks to HG, actually) and I would like to know what happened in those years. But for me, it’s a huge jigsaw puzzle that has been upended; all the pieces scattered on the floor and I have no idea how to bring them back into the picture I lived.

          5. WhoCares says:

            Caity,
            I am sorry that your memory has been so adversely by your past abuse. But perhaps it is better not to recall? What would it achieve?

          6. A Victor says:

            Hi Caity,
            I have memory lapses too. The abuse was so consistent while being entirely inconsistent that my mind just blocked out big chunks. My sister and I have different memories of each other during those times, things that happened to us that the other knew about but we have totally forgotten, thankfully. I think it is not uncommon. It concerns me for my future, my dad just having passed as a consequence of Alzheimer’s. I do do things to try to help my mind stay healthy but likely the two things are unrelated anyway. It would be an interesting study though, how childhood trauma affects people as they age. I have found that memories come sometimes, usually out of the blue but as my mind can handle them, it seems. So some things have been filled in a tiny bit. But most of my childhood is not there, especially parts with my mother, who was around all the time, so I find that interesting.

            Good to hear you’re doing better, it is an encouragement to know that happens for people.

          7. A Victor says:

            If people wanted to they could put their empathy type and even the type of narcissists they’ve been icicles with. For science. Also for our memories! Haha!

          8. A Victor says:

            Empath* type…involved* with (not icicles). Ugh.

          9. WhoCares says:

            AV,
            It’s okay… don’t feel bad, and I’ll tell you why…after all those innuendos/analogies in HG’s video – I read your suggestion and my brain literally went: “been icicles with”….hmmm…’Is that *code* for something I don’t know??’
            Pahahaha!
            I so need to get up and make a coffee.

          10. A Victor says:

            Hahaha!!! Thank you for that morning laugh with my coffee!!

          11. WhoCares says:

            AV,

            I hadn’t even considered Empath/narcissist type, but that’s a good idea.
            I had meant their situation of current or recent ensnarement…I forget sometimes: who’s married to one, or dealing with a parental narc, has children involved…etc.

          12. A Victor says:

            Yes, and updatable as things change. Good ideas.

          13. WhoCares says:

            Okay, so if someone has to start…here goes, but I am going to be brief:

            Standard, Super (a bit of CoD & Contagion).
            Carrier, Magnet, Martyr.
            Escaped being IPPS (spouse, LMRN).
            Escaped being NIPPS (mother, MMRN).
            Full No Contact with MMRN.
            Almost No Contact with LMRN (“co-parenting” & legal proceedings).
            One child with a narcissist.

          14. A Victor says:

            So, how will new people know to come here, to “Any Hole Will Do” -hahaha-to learn who we are? I’m sorry, it being on this particular thread is making me laugh way too much! And, does anyone else see value in even doing such? A “Meet the Empaths Past and Present” thread?

            Here’s mine:
            I’ve been here since Sept 2020.

            Standard, Very Strong Super
            Majority Savior, Significant Carrier, Insignificant Geyser

            ACON, both parents-he UMR elite-deceased, she LMR victim-ANC
            Escaped 3 times, the known one being a ULA somatic-NC
            Disengaged from once-MMRA somatic-NC

            4 grown children, I believe all empaths or normals.

          15. WhoCares says:

            AV,

            “So, how will new people know to come here, to “Any Hole Will Do” -hahaha-to learn who we are?”

            Haha, I know, AV! I thought that as well, but does it matter where? (I thought maybe it would be the least likely spot that it would stand out if people had privacy issues – but then, again, they likely wouldn’t share if that were the case.)
            We could always move it to another thread before it gets too many posts – suggestions?

            Thanks for sharing – wow, ACON and escaped 3 times…

            ANC with your mother…I tried that, initially, with my own mother (even consulted with HG on how to do it best)… Then realized: couldn’t do it. Not healthy for me or my son.

          16. A Victor says:

            No, it doesn’t matter where, as long as it’s easy for newbies to find. I think anyone with privacy issues just wouldn’t put anything. I mean, on this blog, people know more about me than many people in my real life know! Haha! Privacy is out the window, except that no one knows who we are. I was thinking a thread dedicated to it would make it somewhat easy, but HG would have to accommodate us doing that. Do you want to ask him? Should I? I mean, he can only say no, right? I’m not afraid to talk to him in a consult but asking for something always puts the fear into me, we were not allowed to in my home and I have huge issues with it still. Ha, transparency. haha.

          17. WhoCares says:

            Well, AV, I think that if we just choose a thread (could be on an “Empath” article) and, if people want to know, we can just direct them to it with a link.
            As for asking HG – we don’t even know how he feels about this idea at all. Although I am certain he would have nipped it in the bud by now if it were an issue.

            “Do you want to ask him? Should I? I mean, he can only say no, right?”

            I have no problem asking, because indeed, he will just say no if it’s not okay with him – after all it is his blog. (Also, he already gives us a voice here through the comment section and the Letter To The Narcissist series).

            May I ask, HG, if a thread could be designated for the above mentioned purpose: to post summaries of those empaths who want “introduce” themselves to other commenters?

          18. HG Tudor says:

            What do you mean bu summary and introduction?

          19. WhoCares says:

            HG,
            “Introduction” may not have been the best word choice. By summary, I simply meant what AV and I have already done, with a list of point regarding Empath type and state of ensnarement etc.

          20. A Victor says:

            Well, WhoCares, I will speak to this also.
            When I first arrived, it was intimidating to join in with people who were established with each other, who seemed to know so much, and…what if they weren’t friendly? Well, not everyone has my hesitation certainly, but for me what would’ve been helpful was a sort of introduction. I mean, only those who’ve been here for a while, a year or more maybe, which means I would not even be in there for some time yet. But, a place to say “Hi, welcome, here’s how I arrived here and the most valuable thing I’ve learned.” Along with any details of the type of empath they are, the narcissists they’ve had or have in their lives etc that might be helpful to a new person. It would just be a starting point if new people had interest. And, of course, a refresher for people who’ve been here but forget. That’s all I was wishing for at the outset. A sort of map as to who people were to help feel more oriented. Of course, there may be no interest in doing such a thing, and we do get to “know” one another over time, but keeping the details straight for so many can be a challenge. That’s all I have thought of it. Thank you WhoCares for asking, if there is more you were thinking, I look forward to hearing it. HG, thank you for considering it.

          21. WhoCares says:

            AV,
            “When I first arrived, it was intimidating to join in with people who were established with each other, who seemed to know so much, and…what if they weren’t friendly? Well, not everyone has my hesitation”
            You’re not the first one to express this initial hesitation. Although the reason for hesitating may vary slightly, several people have said that they read for a long time before ever commenting. And, as it’s been pointed out before, only a very small percentage of readers actually comment.

          22. Asp Emp says:

            AV, I think there was a similar conversation about something like this on another thread. It could mean more ‘moderating’ and admin time on HG’s part – he knows that we, empaths would do anything to help him with his workload. And, we are actually helping – by responding to each other’s comments on his blog. HG is also maintaining security of our identities (as well as his own) by doing the work on this blog himself. There is also ‘safety’ concerns, to ensure that we, empaths (all are vulnerable, some more so than others) are not at ‘risk’ in any way. Consider the number of narcissists that are being put through court, which is ‘safeguarding’ added on top – so many reasons why HG does this blog himself. There are other professionals he works with.

            I think you get the gist by now, AV. You can ask HG anything, he is human just like everyone else on this blog.

          23. A Victor says:

            Hi Asp Emp, well, the last thing I want to do is add to HG’s work. I actually thought it might cut down on it, so some things aren’t repeated. Thank you for explaining the reasons he does this blog on his own, I had only understood it to be to make certain the information going out is correct, your explanation adds to that picture. I may ask when I talk with him, that’s more my way I guess. Unless WhoCares does it first. Thanks for the comment, very helpful!

          24. Asp Emp says:

            Hi AV, thank you for your reply. I understand all the ‘legislation’ (reasons that I explained) – because I am currently still a Trustee of a charity and they have a duty of care, so I know all the stuff – this was one main reason why those fkers at work didn’t like me, trashing their so called policies & procedures….. well, that is one thing I plan to do – either go back to the charity that needs ‘picking up’ again (pushed it to one side because of ill-health, then heart attack, with all the narcissistic affects, then all the covid-shite – I needed to have a break for myself) or review the charity…… so, I do have several ‘options’ ahead.

          25. A Victor says:

            Asp Emp,
            You’ve had a heart attack? Wow. Stress from the narcissist caused it? I hope you’re doing well now. Laughter lowers stress so you’re on a good path.

          26. Asp Emp says:

            AV, yes I did. Life time of narcissist influence. Life time of major traumas. Sasquatches (old neighbours) was final straw – over the fkg fence / wall / my land issue. Stress from ONE narcissist cause a HA? Nah. I am made of strong stuff. Not teflon.

          27. A Victor says:

            Glad to know your doing better. Yes, I knew it was more than one, had I thought about it. You are strong, very strong, a thriver for sure.

          28. Asp Emp says:

            Thank you AV, for your words, made me smile.

          29. WhoCares says:

            Asp Emp,

            Sorry to hear that your physical health was so seriously impacted by n. abuse, but glad that you’re doing better.

          30. Asp Emp says:

            WhoCares, thank you for your words.

          31. WhoCares says:

            Asp Emp,

            Good observations.

            “It could mean more ‘moderating’ and admin time on HG’s part”

            I don’t think such posts are any different than our other comments. The only real difference is it is a slight more focus on us than HG and it’s HG blog and about him and his purposes.
            AV has a good point, it may actually save some moderating because it cuts down on the same commenter answering what kind of Empath they are 5-10 times or more. Plus, it may also encourage use of the Empath Detector Consultation – and those who have done this know the value of having that knowledge.

          32. A Victor says:

            WhoCares,
            Yes, I thought about the promotion of the detectors too. But, at first I saw people putting results here and I wondered but over time forgot and now HG has reminded us. I feel very bad now.

          33. A Victor says:

            And, likely the people who were putting their results had asked, I should have done so as well.

          34. Asp Emp says:

            WhoCares, thank you for your input. I do see the suggestion – I do agree that it is a good idea and I understand, not dispute what others have suggested either. However, as you say, it’s HG’s blog. It’s his work. His legacy.

          35. WhoCares says:

            Reading on the blog since 2017 (don’t recall when I first commented though.)

          36. BC30 says:

            “If people wanted to they could put their empathy type and even the type of narcissists they’ve been icicles with. For science.” 🤓 Everyone knows mine at this point, but for ease of reference:

            Standard — Majority
            Super — Strong Minority
            Contagion — Significant Minority

            Geyser – strong minority
            Magnet – significant minority
            Savior – significant minority
            Carrier – insignificant minority
            Martyr – insignificant minority

            IPSS – UMR 2+ years (HG confirmed)
            IPSS – MMRA 4+ years (HG confirmed)

            Not ACON — E parents (awaiting EDC results for one parent)

          37. Leigh says:

            I’ll go next:
            Standard Majority, Strong Super Minority
            Perfect Triple Hybrid 33% each Carrier, Geyser, Savior

            What brought me here was Workplace Narc. We had been having an affair for 18 months and I was in the middle of another silent treatment. Although now I think it was a disengagment. I believe hes an MMRB Elite.

            I’m married for 25 years, together for 35 years. I believe he’s a LMR Victim narcissist.

            ACON also. Deceased father definitely a Lesser. I believe Mom is a LMR Victim narcissist too. I’m almost no contact with her. I haven’t seen her in a year and we talk on the phone once a month for 5 minutes.

            Two adult children who I believe are Normals.

          38. Leigh says:

            I hope BC30 sees this thread. I know she’s always interested in knowing our empathic story.

          39. A Victor says:

            I think she has seen it, I think she liked one of my comments here.

            On another note, the photo with this article is hilarious and repulsive at the same time. Every time I see it I laugh. And then get a little nauseous.

          40. MB says:

            WC and others, neat idea…”meet the blogger”

          41. FYC says:

            Hello all, Interesting thoughts. My feeling is that if there is a “Meet the Empaths” section on KTN, it could prove problematic. Self-report is rife with inaccuracies. Many people who have commented here over the past several years have self-proclaimed their type school and cadre and later found post-ED they were incorrect. For accuracy, and to have any true value, empath school and cadre would need to be verified through the ED (not all readers have taken one and some may not be able to do so). A further complication is, not all people who believe themselves to be an empath actual are one (see false empath). If a false empath (who truly believes themself to be an empath) submits a profile, they would not be published as they would not pass the ED. This might cause additional problems. As for personal information and privacy, these are important. For some in hostile situations, it is important that their N cannot follow their browsing history and connect the dots. It will not serve the empath. For all others, privacy matters far more than most believe and is being eroded rapidly. Do not assist in the erosion of your privacy. You may not see the harm now, but you will. I agree with the comments regarding the amount of time this would entail for HG. Lastly, this site is about Knowing the Narcissist (versus the empath/target). We are an important part of the story as empaths, because we share in the dynamic. But in keeping with the brand, it may not serve to have a separate section with empath profiles, not to mention it would become a handy target for visiting narcissists. All that being said, I do understand it’s hard to keep track of everyone’s stories, but regulars readers probably do or may simply ask again.

          42. Asp Emp says:

            FYC, thank you for your input. You raise some really valid points. 🙂

          43. A Victor says:

            Thank you for weighing in FYC. You have very good points. Perhaps they are why the idea has come up before but not happened.

          44. WhoCares says:

            Thank-you for your input FYC.

          45. BC30 says:

            Ok, disregard my other comment about missing a convo AV. 💕 I see now. We all know some comments never see the light of day, but we don’t want to add more work for HG. Although our sharing is nixed for the time being, the reason I got them was because of what was shared among readers. I can go work on my KTN projects. 🤓

          46. A Victor says:

            Have fun!

          47. FYC says:

            Thank you A Victor, but actually HG pointed out the most important reason for not doing so–the nondisclosure/confidentiality agreement between the empath taking the ED and HG. A point well worth repeating!

            To your original point though, there have been times we all have wanted to know each other, but as time unfolds it also becomes clear that not all people would best benefit from doing so. One of the (very many) valuable things I have learned from HG is that it takes time and persistence to see beyond emotional thinking. We can’t help but see through our ET lens–that is until we know what to look for–and even then it is challenging at times. I am ever grateful for all HG has taught me, it is truly invaluable on and off blog. I have much more to learn and I am also grateful for the many wonderful empaths here who regularly share of their time and kindness.

          48. A Victor says:

            Yes, HG did point out the most valid reason.

            I look forward to understanding your point at some point in my progress, since it is decided that the Empath Intro idea is not happening I don’t have to hurry on it. My only biggest point was that as a newbie, had I known a bit how people related to the blog, I might have felt more comfortable to join in. I am a person who is fairly unafraid of joining a blog, it is really quite harmless, imo, but can see where it is more difficult for others and so to alleviate some of their possible concerns, I thought this might be a good idea. Also to assist my own memory, keep people’s stories straight, not repeat questions etc. So, instead, I’ve decided to go back to the beginning of the blog and read all the way to current. I expect this will take some time but that’s ok, the people and situations stick better and help me to understand where people were and how far they’ve come, it is encouraging. Maybe through that process I will come to understand your point. Or down the road, or maybe I’ll just see it differently, however it happens, it’s all good. Thanks again.

          49. MB says:

            A Victor, you have no need to feel bad at all! I think it’s a great idea. As with anything that’s on the internet, we have to be careful not to over share is all. I don’t think I’ve had much interaction with you as you’re fairly new. So let me introduce myself. I’m MB and I am a glittery peace maker. You won’t see me jump into the fray. I hate conflict and work from the “peace list” as HG calls it. I’m a Standard Carrier and have been here since March 2018. It’s almost my anniversary! What brought me here was an ensnarement as a Shelf IPSS to an UMR Elite. I got all the answers he never would’ve given me. I’d it hadn’t been for finding HG’s work, I would’ve been confused to my grave. I’ve been no contact for two years in February. Since coming here, I’ve recognized MANY narcissists in my past and present. I feel like I’ve developed super powers for narc detection thanks to HG. Learning that nothing they do is “personal” (good or bad) has been my most valuable lesson. I’ve also had the surprising collateral consequence of learning tons about myself. I can’t say I’ve recovered from my narc addiction as I still crave narc sprinkles from time to time. I’m an HG fan girl from day one and ain’t ashamed! I owe him a debt of gratitude I’ll never be able to repay.

          50. WhoCares says:

            Aww, MB…I know that was for A Victor, but I so enjoyed your introduction and summary – and I’ve known you for a while!!
            You splashed a little glitter, in the way that you do, and dressed up this thread!

          51. MB says:

            Thank you WC. I do always try to leave a little sparkle wherever I go with class. I’m glad that is how it was interpreted.

            I would like to add that I’m a Dirty Empath (infidelity), married to a normal and I have two sons, the older is a normal, the younger is an empath. The older is married to an empath, the younger hasn’t gotten serious with anybody yet, but I’ve got any narcky girls that try in my eye!

          52. Asp Emp says:

            MB, your words “I’d it hadn’t been for finding HG’s work, I would’ve been confused to my grave” – totally agree with you on this 100%.

            And “I’m an HG fan girl from day one and ain’t ashamed! I owe him a debt of gratitude I’ll never be able to repay”. Same here.

          53. A Victor says:

            Hi MB, nice to meet you! Thank you for the nice comment! I have been aware of you and the HG fan girl status from the blog but especially YT, fun to see those interactions. What is the “peace list”? I think that would be how i work as well, not liking conflict either. The answers we get here are life changing. Sometimes i wonder if it’s even real, it seems so surreal at times right now. That sensation had been kind of hitting in waves for a couple of weeks. Congratulations on the anniversary! Three years! That is a long time! “Nothing they do is personal.” That is a good thing to realize, I’m not quite grasping it fully yet, sometimes it feels personal, thank you for sharing it! I appreciate your honesty about the ongoing addiction “issues”, it takes a bit of pressure off! Thank you for the comment, it was sweet to get to know you a bit!

  16. Asp Emp says:

    Just over 16 minutes of pure & unadulterated humour dished out by HG. His brilliant way of using words and almost non-stop innuendos are to the point yet had me crying with laughter. A masterpiece on educating us about the mindset of those with narcissism when it comes to using sex as a tool to obtain Fuel and Control.

    HG’s book ‘Sex and The Narcissist’ explains in more detail (further resources on KTN site & in The Knowledge Vault).

    This video, absolutely, brilliant and in my view, one of the best showing HG’s humour and using sex as a tool to deliver it. High Fives, HG.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you.

    2. AryaSayne says:

      I too laughed at every euphemism after about the first ten or so. I think HG must take the award for the most euphemisms in a single speech.

      1. Asp Emp says:

        Yes, when there is a video like this one, it takes me longer to get through because of the laughing – all my brain neurons shoot around in my mind…. (they don’t stock smelling salts any more…. laughing). I love HG’s humour.

  17. MB says:

    Hilarious! Don’t be drinking anything while listening to this one!

    1. WhoCares says:

      Haha, too true MB.

      How are you doing?!

      1. MB says:

        WC, I’m doing great. Busy as a MBeeee! But never too busy to lap up all the fresh KTN material over on The Ultra channel. HG’s work ethic never ceases to amaze me. Thank you for asking. I hope you and your son are doing well. Come on Spring!!!

        1. WhoCares says:

          Good to hear MB 🙂
          The Ultra channel is awesome – HG never disappoints!
          And I love the snow, but we have had a LOT of it lately, and at this point, I hear you regarding springtime!!

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