Do you feel the darkness as it coils about you? Do you see those midnight black tendrils as they slither towards you? Do you recognise that encroaching cloak of nothingness as it begins to wrap around you? Do you see how the inky murk blots out parts of your life as your friends become obscured by the gathering darkness? Have you any idea what is waiting for you in the shade as the pools of despair begin to form at your feet? Can you feel the icy embrace as the levels of gloom start to rise, swallowing you up bit by bit? Are you aware of the advancing chasm as it swallows up your family, wrenching them away from you consigning them to oblivion?

The engulfing darkness causes them to vanish and even their desperate cries and shouts become muffled and then extinguished. Do you remember what held your interest before this fog arrived? Can you recall those hobbies and past times that entertained you and gave you a sense of who you were as you enjoyed engaging in them and with other people? Can you or is the fog too thick so that you doubt if you ever did undertake them at all? Have you noticed how the air has become thicker and cloyed with poison or do you breathe it in oblivious to the toxicity that comes with it? Are you aware how the twilight has percolated into your ears so that everything you hear has become twisted and distorted? Do you recognise what is patently before you or do the shadowy shapes and figures make little sense when they once did?

Have you realised that your words have become dust in your mouth as the fur of the darkness fills your mouth and slides down your throat, strangling the sounds you try to make? Do you feel the icy embrace of this impenetrable wall of darkness which advances to you and over you? Do you recognise this glacier of despair as it slides over you, subsuming you and sucking you deep inside, preserving you in a dark, icy tomb? Do you even see your reflection in the mirror anymore or has that become masked in darkness too, the glass dulled so that everything becomes obscured and shows something else entirely?

Do you see those shades which come and torment you, their sinewy fingers pulling at you as they strip you piece by piece of what you are? Do you observe these wraiths as they devour you, sucking what you are into their dark maws? How does it feel as this corrupting night brings permanent darkness to your world? Do you see how nothing grows anymore when touched by the gloomy taint? Do you smell that foul stench which accompanies this unending blanket of murk?

The acrid fumes which waft into your nostrils and eradicate anything sweet and pleasant. Do you notice how your tongue lies flat and useless in your mouth, little more than a cold slab? Do you even acknowledge how everything tastes like ash? Do you feel the leaden weight of this darkness pulling at you, slowing you and seeking to engulf you? Do you recognise how it prevents you from breaking free, this glue-like morass which has fastened on to you and will not yield?

Do you notice the fatigue that now wraps around you, leeching at your energy and vitality? Do you hear anything other than the whispers of malevolent control that rattle about your beleaguered brain? Do you know who you are or has this vast amorphous darkness eradicated your sense of being?

Do you remember what it was to feel uplifted, joyous and happy or have you become accustomed to the flat, perilous embrace of this total darkness?

Do you even feel anything anymore other or has the cosseting black cloud anaesthetised you, numbing and freezing?

Do you feel the darkness? No, you never do.

You never see the darkness until you have seen the light.


5 thoughts on “Darkness

  1. Pingback: Mørke - Psykopatene blant oss
  2. Asp Emp says:

    “Do you feel the darkness? No, you never do” – in some way, I actually did ‘sense’ my own ‘darkness’. I ‘sensed’ it for many years yet I was unable to determine what it was.

    Reading HG’s ‘The Creature – An Introduction’ gave me a much clearer insight to what my own ‘darkness’ was. Re-reading ‘Don’t Fail Me’ gave me the almost ‘final clarity’ that I needed, despite it hurting to read that article again. I was able to finally understand what my ‘wound’ was, even though I knew of it, I knew it was always ‘there’.

    “You never see the darkness until you have seen the light” – so very true. Only by learning and understanding the impact of narcissism on me as an individual and being able to ‘strip’ away the many layers and years of narcissistic abuse, have I been able to look back and see how ‘dark’ my own ‘darkness’ within myself was. It did reach a point of where it would have ‘finished’ me yet the very small amount of ‘inner strength’ that I possess prevented finality.

    HG’s work saved my sanity and effectively improved my quality of life. Now, I can use that and help others.

  3. Violetta says:

    “Can you recall those hobbies and past times that entertained you and gave you a sense of who you were as you enjoyed engaging in them and with other people? Can you or is the fog too thick so that you doubt if you ever did undertake them at all?”

    It wasn’t until I took one of those depression questionnaires and realized I had been happy exactly TWICE in the last year–once at a Renaissance dance and once at a Civil War dance–that I realized this wasn’t just my usual mood swing routine.

    Still didn’t register that he thought reenacting was Weird and would have quashed it had we been together.

  4. Leigh says:

    No, we never see the darkness until we see the light. Thank you for showing us the light, Mr. Tudor.

    Thank you also for recycling your older articles. I do love the older articles. There’s a wealth of info in them.

  5. A Victor says:

    Wow, that is a great description of what it feels like and the last line is dead-on. But I think also once we see the darkness, we can never un-see it again, at least I am hopeful this will be the case, to see it before ensnarement going forward rather than after.

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