All In The Eyes
The eyes are one of our powerful weapons. I hear so many comments made about my eyes.
“I saw the world in your eyes.”
“Everything I ever wished for, I could see in your eyes.”
“I’ve never known anyone give me such a malevolent stare.”
“You are dead behind the eyes.”
“That hollow look you give me, chills me inside.”
“Your reptilian, empty stare always unnerved me.”
When we first engage with you, we are able to reflect back at you want you desperately want. Hope, optimism, desire and trust are all mirrored in our eyes. Do not be mistaken and think that we generate those looks. We do not. All we are doing is ensuring that you see what you want to see in order to ensnare you.
This mirroring serves two purposes. Firstly, it shows you what you crave for and makes us all the more attractive to you. Secondly, it masks the empty void that truly exists. Whilst my kind and me learn how to behave and act, we mimic the way in which we are expected to respond in the most favourable manner, we do not truly feel any of those things and we cannot generate it in our eyes.
Everything else we are able to simulate – the laugh, the smile, the look of surprise, the intonation of elation in our voices. We have carefully crafted these facsimiles of your emotions but managing to do so in our eyes has always eluded us. We cannot fall at the first hurdle however and have you see through our charade. Accordingly, we have managed to master the mirroring technique.
You want that love and hope so badly you will see it in us when you are really just seeing yourself. We hold your gaze for longer than anyone else. You are conned into thinking this is just demonstrating the intensity of our desire for you. It is not. We must look directly into your eyes to shine back at you that which you send towards us. Should we look way, the reflection may fail and we must always have you in our eye.
As with all of our pretence we are unable to maintain this deceit for long. The mirror breaks and the shards of reflection fall away leaving the chasm of emotionlessness behind. The barren hinterland beyond our eyes is all that is left, bereft of anything at all. That is why in the later stages you will see nothing when you look at us. We cannot generate those real emotions and our mirror has now failed. Our real gaze is all that is left, cold, empty and lifeless.
People often remark about how the eyes are the window to the soul. Our soul left long ago and that is why you look into dead, uncaring eyes. Even though our mouth is upturned in a smile, the crows feet at the sides crease and the brow rises, our eyes betray us. Glacial and sterile they show the reality of what we are; devoid of positive emotion and spiritually bankrupt.
All that we are able to muster is hatred. Our loathing of this unjust world is so intense that it will break through when we wish to direct that hatred against you. That is when the emptiness vanishes and instead you are subjected to our laser-like, pinpoint accurate malevolent stare. I mentioned in the recollection about the cookie jar, how I had practised my withering stare one summer.
This is the precursor to our malice, our antipathy and our scorn. With consummate ease we will call on it to intimidate you and signal our contempt for you. It is powerful, unwavering and unsettling. To be on the receiving end of our hateful stare is not a pleasant experience. We muster such power with our eyes, to seduce you and then to break you, but the reality is that we only have three settings. The mirror, the void and the hatred. There is nothing else. That is all that our eyes have.
8 thoughts on “All In The Eyes”
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I don’t get the eye thing, it just goes over my head. Except if the person is being very bold and staring, I now see that as a narcissist whether they actually are one or not. I hope to understand this at some point.
The Duchenne smile according to some experts is the most authentic smile denoting happiness or enjoyment. It’s when some facial muscles involuntarily cause the eyes to constrict. While it is possible that narcissists might have this kind of smile when they are being fueled, I bet we wouldn’t see this smile on them when the joyous or celebratory moment has nothing to do with them or when someone else is shining like their child or significant other.
I noticed empty, emotionless eyes in narcs. Like a robot. The malice and hatred I could see in one narcs eyes and that was very pronounced! My alarm bells were screaming: “Evil! Evil!” My gut feeling just said: This man is capable of anything! My gut feeling said that “This man is completely nuts”. Surprisingly, it was a middle mid range type A, false angel.
All the others looked just very arrogant and haughty, especially Patri Narc (upper mid range).
So instructional and very enlightening. I could read this one over and over.
I’m fascinated by Abraham Lincoln’s eyes. He seems to have dead eyes but he was an extremely empathic person. A book about him said he had melancholic temperament but not depression because he was very high functioning. When I look at his old pictures his eyes seem very tired and sad. He didn’t try to have a fake perked up look or mirror. He consistently had those dead, tired and melancholic eyes. Stories told about how he was extremely empathic that it seemed like he even felt others’ sufferings as his own. It is sad to think of someone so empathic that his eyes show how his empathy has been affecting his soul.
With regards to narcissists, not everyone has dead eyes but I tend to catch a lack of coordination between the smiles and laughter versus the eyes. I notice that a lot with Bradley Cooper for example. It makes it easier for me to trust people whose eyes seem to show genuine and well-timed expressions.
HG, I know that this won’t mean anything to you. But I very much feel sorry for you. I know you don’t know any different, and yes there is the element of the manipulative about this article, whilst also being superbly written. You do make me feel like I am in a bit of a quandary. On the one hand there is nothing I would like more, than to give you the biggest hug in the world to show you that you are genuinely loved, but on the other hand if I was to hug you, I would get the same response as if I hugged a wall. Such a shame your kind are the way you are. But either/or I’m sending you a big hug. It makes me feel better. OOOOXX
Reading this again was good. Reminded me of several people that I knew. One in particular (a boss) had eyes that did not always ‘mask’ the person behind them. Maybe it was something they learned from a parent (by mimicking and based on instincts), I am assuming here because I am now NC with them.
It will be interesting since I have learned about narcissism and having to rely on communicating face to face, will I be able to spot the ‘narcissist’ within strangers a lot sooner? Quite possibly. There are other ‘indicators’, including body language and facial expressions, unless they are mimicking me……. except for one time, where I was not prepared and caught unawares by the eyes and the ‘energy’.