The Golden Period



The Golden Period is that period when all is wonderful between us and our victims. This is the illusory mask that is donned in order to draw you in, bind you to us, embed you and then continue to savour the positive fuel that you pump out. Of course most people recognise that this is relevant with regards to the romantic relationship between the narcissist and the Intimate Partner Primary Source (“IPPS”). Certainly, this is the most intense, most intoxicating and most addictive of the golden periods, but the golden period applies to all appliances that we interact with. How does that manifest and how long are these golden periods?
Let us commence with the tertiary source. There are essentially two types of tertiary source. There is the Sporadic Tertiary Source (“STS”) and the Frequent Tertiary Source (“FTS”). The STS is somebody that we interact with just the once or perhaps more than once but not very often. So that could be somebody who we get in a lift with or who occasionally serves us when we go to a particular restaurant every few months. We do not know one another and therefore this person is a Tertiary Source however our engagement with them is always benign. They smile at us, do something helpful for us, compliment us, speak to us in an interested way and so forth. In that instant, the interaction may only be for thirty seconds or so, but that is a golden period.

It is brief, very brief but nevertheless because we have engaged with that person in a benign way and drawn positive fuel from them they have had a golden period. We may not have charmed them but we have certainly been pleasant to them, we have impressed them, engaged with them in a way which has caused them to provide us with positive fuel. This means that they have not suffered in any way and we have drawn positive fuel.
The FTS is someone we may see several times a week but they remain a stranger to us. This might be somebody who we buy a daily newspaper from, or a ticket inspector on the train.

We engage with the individual repeatedly and always do so in pleasant terms and thus we gain positive fuel from this person who greets us with a smile and compliments our choice of tie or fragrance, but there is no more to the relationship. We see them repeatedly and this positive engagement means there is a protracted Golden Period but the manner of the engagement remains brief, seconds or minutes at most.
A golden period for the STS or FTS will be brought to an abrupt end if they criticise us in some way and wound us or we see that drawing a reaction from them by way provocation and the provision of negative fuel would serve our purposes in another way, for instance in terms of triangulating them with someone who is a higher ranked source who we wish to impress or appear authoritative in front of.
With regard to the secondary sources, there are those who are Non Intimate Secondary Sources (friends, family and colleagues) and then Intimate Partner Secondary Sources (someone we are seducing who is likely to become the IPPS, someone who is a booty call or a friend with benefits).
Those who are NISSs nearly always have golden periods and those golden periods last for a long time. This is because we exhibit our attractive qualities, we charm, we are polite, good-natured, interesting and so on in order to attract this person to us and once designated as a NISS we keep them in place for a considerable period of time. The golden period for a NISS can last a long time because we only draw on their positive fuel now and again.

Thus we may see a friend once a week or once a month and therefore there is no extensive reliance in terms of frequency and quantity from this person which threatens the potency. We may meet for an hour for a coffee or an evening out together and we draw positive fuel (plus other benefits) from them. Unless they challenge us, criticise us, stop fuel provision and such like, this golden period will continue unabated. We will not suddenly find their fuel stale (as happens with the IPPS) and therefore the golden period lasts.
With the IPSS the golden period is similarly extensive. There are three types of IPSS:-
The Candidate IPSS. This is someone who is likely to become the IPPS and is on that trajectory towards being crowned.
The Shelf IPSS. This person is not an immediate candidate for becoming IPPS (but that might change in the future) but they are used for fuel on an intermittent basis. Whilst the IPPS is devalued we will spend time with the Shelf IPSS even though we know they are not going to be the new IPPS, but their fuel etc remains of considerable use and interest to us, they may be used to triangulate with the IPPS (or other IPSSs);
The Dirty Little Secret IPSS. Read more here Dirty Little Secret

If the person is a clear prospect for IPPS then this candidate will experience the full effect of the illusory seduction as they are drawn into our world and treated like a king or queen. The various seductive manipulations will be deployed to create this magical wonderland where the most perfect love resides. This is the intoxicating, whirlwind seduction where the love-bombing abounds. Once this candidate IPSS is embedded as the IPPS the golden period continues.
Sometimes the IPSS does not secure the promotion but as I have written elsewhere there is no need to devalue this person. This person is a Shelf IPSS. Their fuel remains excellent but they are not quite right. This may  change and they are promoted in the future, or it may not and they remain an IPSS for a long time, picked up and put down when we decide. Thus if an IPSS accepts this role they will experience a long golden period. Yes, there will be periods when they will not hear from us and they have been placed on the shelf but this is not devaluation.
The fuel from an IPSS similarly does not become stale because they are engaged with intermittently by us. The pattern of engagement may be a weekend together and then nothing for a fortnight. It might be a week away together and then nothing for a month.
With the Dirty Little Secret IPSS the engagement is likely to be an hour in the evening or the occasional afternoon but usually once a week, sometimes more. The time together is not long but there is a greater frequency than that of the Shelf IPSS.

With all three of these IPSSs they experience significant golden periods.
The Candidate IPSS has an intense golden period which may be a number of weeks before they then become an IPPS and the golden period for that appliance is applicable;
The Shelf IPSS can have a golden period for years and years;
The Dirty Little Secret IPSS can have a golden period for years and years.
The Golden Periods for the Shelf and Dirty Little Secret IPSS is not as intense as that for the Candidate (nor the IPPS see below) but it remains addictive. The victim is treated well, future-faked a lot, given comfort crumbs, taken places, confided in, bought gifts and so forth.The narcissist recognises the value of these type of IPSSs and wishes to maintain them. If the IPSS challenges the narcissist, for instance wants the narcissist to spend more time with them, or threatens to expose their affair to the IPPS, the narcissist will devalue but does so in order to bring that person back into line. If they respond then the golden period is restored immediately. If not, the malfunctioning IPSS will be dis-engaged with and somebody else sought for the role.
The Golden Period for the IPPS is that which most people are familiar with. The Golden Period for the IPPS commences when they are a Candidates IPSS and once they have been embedded they continue to enjoy the fruits of the narcissist’s largesse. The golden period for the IPPS is the one which creates the truly magical connections, the dizzying delight and wondrous magnificence which becomes addictive. The Golden Period for the IPPS will last from months to years dependent on how long their positive fuel is potent enough, frequent enough and supplied in the desired quantities. A typical golden period will be 6-24 months.
The Golden Period for an IPPS ends because the appliance fails us. This is because the appliance has reduced the potency, frequency and/or quantity of the fuel so that it is no longer sufficient for us and thus devaluation must commence by way of altering the fuel provided and punishing the malfunctioning IPPS. Or the positive fuel no longer is regarded as potent by us because it feels stale. Again, devaluation follows for the reasons just explained.

This determination is entirely down to us and there is nothing you can do about it. Devaluation always occurs with the IPPS because this person is who we rely on the most for our fuel provision and is the most important supplier. We thus engage with this person frequently, often live with this person, certainly see them almost every day, talk every day, do much together so we can draw on the positive fuel. The fuel is extremely potent to us and of critical consequence. However, this frequent reliance means that the risk of it becoming stale is very high and therefore devaluation follows. Unlike a NISS or IPSS, devaluation is not a foregone conclusion because of the lower demand placed on these secondary sources for their fuel provision.
Some people who are the IPPS do not experience the fireworks and magic of the Golden Period. Instead, they experience the Bronze Period. This is when the narcissist (usually a Lower or Middle Lesser or  a Lower Mid-Ranger) does not treat them especially magnificently but what they do do is keep the beast in check so that what is seen is not going to cause the newly targeted victim to retreat. The Golden Period and the Bronze Period both serve the function of hiding the true nature of the narcissist from the victim.

The full horror is kept from them. The Golden Period goes further and binds the victim especially to the narcissist, it heightens the addiction of the victim, it creates a place which the victim strives to return to (and which the narcissist will reinstate if he or she sees fit) during devaluation. The Bronze Period merely keeps the horror under wraps and there will be some favourable treatment but nothing amazing.
The Golden Period for all appliances is an artifice which is designed to enable us to secure our Prime Aims (see The Prime Aims ) chief of which is the provision of fuel. Whether this illusion  is used for 30 seconds or years, it is still that; an illusion.

15 thoughts on “The Golden Period

  1. leelasfuelstinks says:

    Noticed and experienced that the Golden Period is not always all sugar, honey and candy. There are every now and then some corrective devaluations or some subtle little hints for what is going to come. I know from some other (real and proven) Empaths that their narcs already cheated during the Golden Period. Every now and then a little Silent Treatment or withdrawal or a little one night stand outside of the relationship. The devaluations increase and intensifiy by time.

    In my case devaluation came slowly creeping up. During the Golden Period around 95 % it was sugar, honey, candy, sunshine and rainbows. And then the devaluations became more frequent. It went from being 95 % being treated well to 80 %, to 60 %, to 50 % and then went into devaluation-respite-devaluation-respite, while devaluing behavior eventually took over. Other (real, proven) Empaths experienced this too.

    It was not like Phase 1: all rainbows and sunshine and then an abrupt change into Phase 2 devaluation. I enjoyed the Golden Period a lot but there already were some devaluations inside. I felt like the whole relationship was a huge rollercoaster while first the positive side predominated, slowly decreased until the negative, the devaluation took over. Cannot say exactly when the switch into devaluation occurred.

    This was my only experience as IPPS but I think that most Empaths overlook those subtle, little devaluations or even cheatings which occur already when seduction is going on.

    1. A Victor says:

      I had three months of a perfect, albeit low-key, Golden Period. It dropped immediately and harshly at that point. I didn’t know what had hit me. Probably the woman from the beach…the timingwas perfect for that to have been. Why he continued for 23 more years, prime aims were met I guess. Why I did? Ugh. I’m just glad to be here now.

      1. leelasfuelstinks says:

        Don´t know why my Golden Period was interrupted by devaluations from time to time. Guess corrective devaluations. If you´re not compliant you get those. And I´m by far not compliant enough for narcs. That´s why they preferred me on the shelf 😉 😀

        1. A Victor says:

          Leela, was it with a Lesser? The summer narc, a lesser, gave me a corrective devaluation about 6 weeks in, screamed at me to never contact him again etc. My kids were pretty upset with me after he reached out and i jumped right back in. That was the only time but I always sensed he had less control of his temper than my. Mid-range ex, who had outstanding control, virtually no temper. It was a bit of excitement with that SN. But who needs that?! Downside, not worth it!

  2. A Victor says:

    I struggle with the term “crowning” the IPPS, as if it’s a great thing. It’s not.

    1. leelasfuelstinks says:

      From the narcissistic perspective it´s a great thing. The IPPS can be happy to be with someone so grandiose as Mr. or Ms. N. Arc 😉 H.G. writes from his perspective so that we can take a look into his mind. He wants us to see how a narcissist thinks and why they behave like this.

      1. A Victor says:

        I know Leela, thank you for the explanation though. I was just stating it from my perspective, that’s all. 🙂

  3. BC30 says:

    “The Dirty Little Secret IPSS can have a golden period for years and years.” It turned out to be nearly 3 years.

    1. leelasfuelstinks says:

      My relationships with narcs, no matter what, where all rollercoasters from the beginning.

      And it just happened that I got those narcs who were terrible, horrible, a living nightmare, between the sheets. Lucky me! 😉 😀 😀 😀

      One was very good at some techniques but couldn´t hold up his erection and couldn´t finish (ULA somatic).

      1. BC30 says:

        Leela!! I’m sorry for your loss 😂😂😂 I’m NGL if #1 came around it’d be difficult to say no. A volunteer firefighter 🔥 with the muscle to carry me around while fucking. Oof. Memories 😋

        1. leelasfuelstinks says:

          Oh, I have great and funny memories. They were the ABSOLUTE WORST of the WORST between the sheets. 😀 😀 😀 Incredibly bad in bed!! My goodness, soooooo bad! 😀 😀 😀

        2. A Victor says:

          Firefighters are yummy, like chocolate.

      2. A Victor says:

        Prior to learning about narcissism, I thought the roller coasters were…NORMAL! They were what made it real, made me feel alive, made me feel at home! I could get (and have been at times) really angry at my parents for teaching me this but it was in the home my children were raised in too, and I was a part of it, even if it was unwittingly. I’m just hoping that my kids can can break the cycle for their families now. Theyare interested in learning about narcissism and/or the behavior’s, this is encouraging.

        1. leelasfuelstinks says:

          Of course there are always ups and downs in relationships but such a roller coaster like in narc-relationships are indeed toxic!

          To me somatic narcs felt like home. Whenever a man pointed out how important an attractive partner is, I understood. Very normal that a man wants a model-like wife and that women who look attractive are “more worth”. No sexy appearance, no love. Status matters, job matters, money matters. I saw such men as “high class men” to whom I always wanted to be good enough. My house, my boat, my status, my clothes, my sexy model-wife: yes, felt like home back then.

          BULLSHIT! I have learned my lesson! Meanwhile, I´m UTTERLY DISGUSTED of such people. It´s not very normal, it´s not home, it´s GOSO!

          1. A Victor says:

            Oh boy Leela, do I understand that. I had decided, having such bad luck with attractive men that I would only date unattractive ones going forward. Haha, learning here, sadly, narc’s come in all looks categories! Now that I know, it doesn’t matter the looks, just no more narcs!!

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