The 5 Hatreds of the Narcissist

4 thoughts on “The 5 Hatreds of the Narcissist

  1. Asp Emp says:

    “this information isn’t provided for you to start using it to cause problems for the narcissist” – HG, I laughed at these words, I thought to myself “Well, why not?” Power to the empath for knowing too much 😉 ……(don’t tell me off, HG).

    “you will heighten your emotional thinking making your recovery slower and leading to the possibility that you will be ensnared by other narcissists because of the effects of cross pollution” – this is a very important message said in very few yet powerful words of which empaths must remember as part of their education. It should form as part of a daily ‘mantra’ until this ‘stage’ passes before they reach the next stage of managing their ‘addiction to the narcissist’, yet continue to learn how to maintain their emotional thinking at a level where the addiction of narcissism as a whole is more managable.

    # 1. Not being invited to something – reminded me of a time when a narcissist complained and made such a hoo-har about not being “invited” when in fact it was NOT an-all-can-come-along ‘event’. It was work related and to keep costs down, it was restricted to 2 paid staff !

    Another time the same narcissist WAS invited to a social event at a private house but they chose NOT to attend – why?
    a) pity-play – Oh, I am busy, so I can’t attend (so I will be left out,……again)
    b) grandiosity – Oh, I have other plans (that are more important than the so-called-only-the-dreary-minions-going)
    c) better fuel quality & quantity at the other & ‘more important’ event – (no-opportunity-for-attention-is-only-all-on-me)
    d) control – by being with others that have higher quality ‘fuel’ that is easier to obtain within an environment that is also easier to assert control over others
    e) fear – anxiety (even though the narcissist did know the people attending the event at a private house – they did not know them that well and they had not been to the private house before, so there would have been some amount of anxiety within the narcissist)

    Of the examples from above – e) would have been the only one listed that the narcissist would have been consciously aware of and why they did not want to attend the private house event. The narcissist would have thought to themselves that they know the people at the other event and assume (in their perception) they would feel more relaxed = their conscious thought. Being a narcissist, they are not aware of their perceived ‘reasons’ for not attending the private house event. Yet, an empowered empath would ‘work it out’ (knowledge is power).

    “it’s akin to shooting fish in the barrel” – brilliant, made me laugh.

    # 2. Coming second – the same narcissist was new to the organisation and did not know the ‘systems’ as well as I did. It is now apparent to me that in the perception of the narcissist, they felt inferior and had lack of control – even though I was actually showing them the ‘ropes’ ! Until, eventually, that narcissist became the ‘cuckoo’ and pushed me out, just because they are a narcissist and no other “real” reason. On that note, I got the impression (as an uneducated empath) that all the narcissists at work had ‘teamed’ up to single me out simply because I did not swim in the same direction as the other ‘salmon’.

    # 3. Spotlight shining elsewhere – there are numerous occasions where narcissists at work “suddenly getting up at a…..” – whether it was a meeting, or a social event, or a group discussion – even if there was more than one narcissist present – one or more narcissists would bring the attention back to themselves. More often than not, it would be a narcissist chairing a meeting and not giving other people an opportunity to give some input and sometimes leading to the said narcissists ‘colliding’. Ah, damn, I am no longer able to sit back to watch this ‘farce’ but I prefer my current position – Got Out, Stayed Out.

    This is the one ‘Hatred of a Narcissist’ that took place on a daily basis at this organisation – the spotlight always had to be on the narcissists. That record player never stopped playing broken records – no matter how many times a replacement record was used, it was always a broken one. A ‘malfunctioning’ and rusty carousel that cannot be switched off.

    # 4. “not being given recognition our arrival anywhere should be accompanied by a fanfare we should be announced wherever we go” – the narcissists at work (including those not higher-ups) even arrived late on purpose to ensure that others already present and waiting for the narcissist to arrive – the sense of entitlement, the grandiosity, the immediate assertion of control. Ah, bloody hell, the audacity !

    “people should bow in acceptance of our greatness kowtow to our gravitas salute kiss our hands go down on their knees and do whatever it else is required to exhibit subservience to us” – I says, Fk that.

    “we must always be referred to during a meeting” – a higher up at work was expecting me to acknowledge her, thank her for giving me ‘centre stage’ during an event where she was addressing the audience about a piece of work I had done – I just didn’t ‘kowtow’ to her. Obviously, my ‘defiance’ displeased her (threatened her control) but I did not have the need to oblige or kiss her ass. Me, the ‘unaware’ empath against the ‘unaware’ narcissist – ah, bless – the satisfaction of knowing that now, has me ‘licking my claws and purring with pleasure’, despite the absolutely awful time I had to endure for years. Meaning I am no longer emotionally and mentally ‘affected’ by the narcissists at work……. yay!

    # 5. Being alone for too long – from (14:32) to (16:01) on this video gives a real insight into one weakness of a narcissist and in my view, a dangerous ‘Hatred of a Narcissist’ to the narcissist. However, a narcissist, even one is in prison can access ‘fuel’ (unless they are in 24 hour solitary confined cell for a long period of time) – referring to HG’s videos ‘If The Narcissist Goes To Prison’ parts 1 & 2.

    A really insightful (and empowering) video which gave me a lot of reminders. Yet my Emotional Thinking was not affected. My Logical Thinking remained intact. Apologies for the long comment, HG, thank you for your time & invaluable contribution to humanity for your work.

  2. Bubbles says:

    Dear Mr Tudor,
    I thought ‘ageing’ would totally be up there!
    My mother complains about it all the time, yet glories in the fact she’s turned 90!
    Any ‘concerned’ remark about her appearance or looks, is counteracted with ‘the stare’ , eg her clothes not matching, food stains, or she hasn’t taken her eye drops and thus looks like a zombie with her frightening red eyes
    You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t

    Our greater friend is like that, even when he goes to the loo, he appears to have extra sensory hearing, doesn’t miss a trick and as soon as his lordship returns (in the blink of a narcs eye), it’s all eyes back on him.” I bought this, (which is bigger n better than yours) we’ve been here n there, places you haven’t!” “See this excqisite expensive bottle of wine we’ve just tasted,” he says, “well guess what?” “you’re not getting any haha” …..brag brag brag, me, me me ! 🤢
    Good thing we don’t take him seriously haha (we haven’t seen him since Xmas, definitely getting the silent treatment, must’ve offended somehow by just breathing …meh!!!) 🤣

    Excellent pointers to always watch out for, helps keep us up on our little tootsies!
    Thank you 😊
    Luv Bubbles xx 😘

  3. Eternity says:

    I can understand that this is from the Narcissistic Perspective but I can’t even imagine going through life this way. Needing attention so badly reminds me of a child who acts this way when they can’t get what they want. Temper Tantrums,throwing things sulking etc. I wonder what happens when you are not 1st born does that also threatened control ? OMG! Seriously not getting invited to something wow! What happens if it is a Bridal Shower or baby shower and it is women only no men invited. This explains why they act as they do in different ways. I really enjoyed listening this it makes so much sense.i have seen it all! I give HG a 1st place ribbon for this one.

    1. A Victor says:

      Good point Eternity, even as a child I didn’t need or want attention like this. It is completely foreign to me also. Good question about the first born. I think they might enjoy the youngest position also, since the youngest are often coddled a lot.

Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Previous article

The Cookie Jar