Own

 

 

OWN

I want to own you.

I want to draw you into my world. A world where my rules are the only rules that matter. When I first set eyes on you I make it my business to ascertain your suitability for ownership. You might only be owned in the sense of being a tertiary source which I interact with the once, but in that moment, I own you and I own the fuel that flows from you.

I wish to brand you as my property. My appliance. My plaything. I own you and this means that nobody else does. I have exclusive rights.

I may designate you the role of secondary source, should you make the grade and you become mine, subject to the unwritten contract that governs you and I. You are to be loyal, obedient, compliant and a provider of fuel.

If you are to be my primary source, that coveted position of supplier-in-chief of the most precious and desired fuel then you also must be owned. You must be subjected to my total and hegemonic control. Once I decide that you are the one, I will not stop. Once that light has turned green, once the first tantalising drops of your fuel have begun to be sucked up by me, there is no hope for anything else.

You must be mine. I must own you.

You at think that I look on you with love-lorn eyes. Indeed I do as I turn my precious orbs into the mirrors which give you what you want to see. Behind their silvery gaze, my machined machinations are forming. I am absorbing how you smile, how your wrinkle your nose, how you play with your hair on the left hand side of your head, never the right. I listen to the way you say ‘scone’ – do you say it so it rhyme with tone or with gone? Every word that will come from your mouth will belong to me. I want to know everything about you. Every facet of your life must now belong to me. When my hand touches you and you feel that jolt of electricity between you, that is my connection with you as I begin to download your life.

It is true that I have already screened you, probed your life from a distance, made enquiries and observed before launching my take-over bid. I have done my homework but now I want to dominate, conquer and subsume. I must envelop you in my world for then I can be sure that you will respond as I require. Loyal, reliable and functional.

Steadily I drain your identity from you, consuming it for my own use. This is part of the process of owning you. I know no boundaries, I see no limits, I recognise no restraint. I have decided that you are to belong to me and thus this is what must happen with the steady and incremental accumulation of what you are. I am plugged into you, the ultimate parasite which sucks the life from you. Your money becomes my money, your house becomes my house, your friends become my appliances. There is no real me. There is no substance and thus I must steal what you are in order to give the appearance of substance.

The only way I understand to do this is to own you. Make you part of the fabricated world that I have woven. This dazzling fiction fools so readily and as I part the curtain and beckon you in to my wonder land, you accept and once inside you become mine. The real world is left behind. The real world of rules, standards, procedures and fairness is no longer applicable to you. I own you now and as a consequence you are subject to my capricious nature, the arbitrary application of my diktats and pronouncements. None of it will make any sense to you when you start to realise what is happening but it will be too late by then. You assimilation into me will be so far gone that you may just well scream and the only voice you will hear will be mine.

My ownership means I tell you who to speak to and who to ignore. My ownership means that dress is wrong and that one is right until it is the other way around. Yesterday is tomorrow which becomes today. You think Josef K endured the Kafkaesque nightmare of nothing making sense? You ain’t seen nothing yet.

I must control everything. My space, time and the environment around you. This is why to you I seem to operate as if I have no concept of time, but that is because I do not operate to Greenwich Mean Time but rather Being Mean Time. I compartmentalise, shifting between worlds which must never connect, where the players and actors inside of them move to my direction. They dance to the tune that my invisible pipe plays. I must not leave anything to chance. I do not like chance. It is the ruin of me. I want predictable and eventually you will come to realise that there are few who are as predictable as my kind. We bring excitement, we bring chaos, we bring drama but it is all so predictable. The same manipulations, just variations on a theme. Some of us have more string to our dark cupid’s bow, but the poisoned arrows we fire all have the same effects. Control and fuel.

It is only by ensuring that we own you that we can be assured and convinced that you will do as we want you to, that you will not be disloyal or a traitor to us. We must plug you in to us and like some giant leech suck the very essence from you, taking your fuel, your confidence, your self-worth, your self-esteem and stripping you of them to ensure there is compliance and obedience.

I want to own so that I know I will win. I want to own you so I can exist.

I want to own you so that everything you do is as consequence of my decisions and my actions which ensure you provide me with my lifeblood whenever I demand it. You are on call and on demand, my primary source of salvation, the reason for my existence and I dare not allow the slightest chink of autonomy for fear of losing that control.

I want to own you to underline my superiority. I want to own you to remind myself that I am powerful. I want to own you so that it is repeatedly highlighted that I am the controller.

I want to own you to stop being the slave that I am.

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24 thoughts on “Own

  1. BC30 says:

    It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt, kidnapped, beaten, raped, starved, chained up to a post–it’s all fun and games.

  2. Cherish says:

    This is the worst part.

  3. lisk says:

    Breathe to The Creature
    Dance to The Creature
    Work to The Creature
    Live to The Creature
    Love to The Creature
    Slave to The Creature

    Is Grace Jones a Narc, btw? (Though I really don’t care. I love her all the same.)

  4. Asp Emp says:

    “I want to own you to stop being the slave that I am”.

    Powerful words.

    A child of a narcissist can be a ‘slave’ to the abuse given by the “supposedly” care-giver.

    Then, depending on the GPD / LOCE of the child, develops their own ‘slave’ within (the creature). At the same time, the same child remains a ‘slave’ to the ‘care-giver, any other narcissists brought into the child’s world, whether within the same LOCE or from external sources.

    As the child becomes a teenager, the hormonal changes at those years would add to the impact of being a victim of narcissism around them and also within themselves as an individual.

    Then they become ACON. And also a fully fledged narcissist.

    Non-narcissists can also become ‘slaves’ as children to their own individuality, developing all sorts of character traits due to CPTSD development. They become “awkward, stroppy teenagers” (in the eyes of those ignorant to narcissism and the human psyche). **note to KTN readers – it is ok to have a giggle at my describing the teenagers here**.

    Any ‘comorbidity’ due to GPD (both parents) and maternal DNA (grandmother) thrown into the ‘mix’ of genetics creating the individuals and in addition to the narcissistic influence from LOCE will form more ‘misunderstood’ people within society.

    Those awkward, stroppy teenagers may remain ‘awkward and stroppy’ as they grow older. Maybe because they do not yet understand themselves, nor be aware of the narcissistic influence. This can apply to both narcissists and non-narcissists.

    The ‘slave’ can be because of instilled fear, added vulnerability, lack of self-confidence, lack of clarity, lack of trust, lack of reassurance, lack of security (environmental control & within self)…..all sorts of reasons.

    What I have said above, is what I also experienced. I will always be an comorbid-ACON and will explain this to my friends in person (only the ones that need to know) – without having the need to mention anything of the narcissists of my past. Referring to ‘The Abusive Ex Syndrome’, this is a good guide for people like me, on what NOT to do when meeting new people, yet at the same time, recognise the behaviours which may indicate a narcissist in your ‘personal space’ when out in public places.

  5. A Victor says:

    This article is very powerful to me. It causes all kinds of thoughts and feelings that I’m not sure how to handle. It is well written certainly, as they all are. But it hits me beyond that.

    1. Bubbles says:

      Dearest AV,
      There’s a big difference between owning and love ❤️
      Food for thought !
      Luv Bubbles xx

      1. Asp Emp says:

        Bubbles, absolutely. I was ‘owned’ in my past. I am confident that it would not happen again because of what I have learned and I understand the difference between ‘own’ and ‘love’.

        1. Bubbles says:

          Dearest Asp Emp,
          It’s imperative to retains ones ownership of self and remain individual. Control can be very insidious and we must be extremely careful not give ours away so freely. Love is growing independently of each other with mutual respect and happiness
          Luv bubbles xx 😘

          1. Asp Emp says:

            Absolutely Bubbles, you said it very well. 🙂

          2. Bubbles says:

            Dearest Asp Emp,
            Thank you lovely
            Sadly, a lot of people are brought up in an environment where they can’t compare the difference and that’s all they know
            Look at all those cult victims, so much psychological damage to unravel
            I’ve always found this particular article very emotionally triggering …..even just the word “own” …….now there’s a topic for discussion!
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          3. Asp Emp says:

            Bubbles, RE: your first paragraph, yes, as an ACON, I was not aware of anything other than what I learned while living at home – only to find it was not the same with my friend’s parents etc…… agree, that this is how cults operate.

            Maybe ‘own’ was something my mother found difficult because she sensed I was not a ‘puppet’ as such because of the strength of my inner ‘me’ and possibly the strong empath DNA from grandmother. Come to think of it, I don’t think I was ever ‘owned’, only ‘controlled’ – not quite in the same sense of ‘owning’ somebody…. her ‘control’ was mainly physical.

          4. A Victor says:

            Bubbles and Asp Emp,

            I just listened to the YouTube video of this one. I think it’s a repeat because I remember commenting on that last line the first time around, the one you noted Asp Emp about being the slave that they are. I think that time the rest of the video went over my head as I was caught by that line, this time it did not, it’s chilling.

            Sometimes reading the article is more powerful for me, sometimes hearing what’s behind them is needed and more effective. I might not know entirely what love is but I know it is not this. And, my ex did do it. All the narc’s in my life have done it, it is no wonder that I struggle with a sense of self. It’s a wonder to me that more empaths don’t.

          5. Asp Emp says:

            AV, you saying “It’s a wonder to me that more empaths don’t” – that is what your ET is conning you to think. You’d be very surprised, at the number of emapths that DO struggle with a sense of ‘self’ when they start on their journey on this blog. Sometimes it seems (to me) that your ET fluctuates in extremes from high to lower then back again. You have a lot of other concerns on your plate at present. Many empaths that you communicate with on here may have been on their journey longer and have different experiences. You will not fail yourself, you know that deep down, you are doing ok. Hang in there, woman!

            HG does it on purpose – with the ‘curve balls’ – the last sentence of this article is a typical example – to see if people like us actually are listening (and learning) with our LT and not the ET.

          6. A Victor says:

            Well, I have not seen a lot of that on here so I assumed a lot of empath’s don’t have that issue. But maybe I’m just not picking up on it, different wording or something. I know it’s been an issue for me and I got the words from something from HG, so that’s why I have used that wording.

            Sometimes my ET does fluctuate. I wonder sometimes if my Geyser is actually higher than it tested, because I did the test so early on and maybe didn’t take it accurately as a result of my depression then. Depression from just escaping, my dad, learning about TTU etc. And now some of that has calmed down and I’m feeling back to myself more. I’m not moody per se but I do notice the ET/LT swings sometimes too. But, maybe it’s is just still going down, I’m crying a lot less than I used to, I will actually go a few days sometimes now with no tears. Thank you for the encouragement, again!! 🙂

            Yeah, this curve ball was a really good one, I even commented on YT about it, I very rarely do that. It really helped me understand the narcissistic perspective. And it made me sad for them because it is true but it is so unnecessary for it to be. This time though I heard the rest of the video, absolutely eye-opening.

          7. Asp Emp says:

            AV, RE: your first paragraph – maybe it is something to do with your own ET (at present), considering that you are still processing your way through ET and LT – re-programming yourself. It’s like part way through writing a ‘computer’ program but with your own brain.

            In some way, I can understand why you suggest that doing your EDC early on can seem to produce results that you may think are different as to doing the EDC again after a few months ‘learning’ about narcissism. I agree to a certain degree because someone like me can think and feel differently (again, it’s about the mind ‘re-programming’) – while the initial EDC may reveal specific empath schools – it would not necessarily completely be ‘altered’ some months later – maybe only by (I am guessing here) one or two percent from the original detector results. I have confidence and have no doubt that HG’s systems work, otherwise he would not use them. He would not use systems that do not suit his purposes to deliver what he expects such a system to deliver.

            I am glad that you are now noticing when your ET / LT happen on occasion – that is really good news because it means you are beginning to see ‘yourself’. You also can see that the ET / LT within yourself is also becoming more into ‘sync’ – it will drop more, in time.

            Eventually, you will accept without feeling so much sadness RE: narcissists being they way they are – probably when your ET / LT is in ‘sync’ and it will not bother you in the same way as it is currently.

            You’re doing ok 🙂

          8. A Victor says:

            I think you are correct that the EDC wouldn’t change much. And also, in my “real life” I am not more Geyser-like, it seems to only come out in writing. And probably the anonymity helps, I was brought up to be quite proper in some ways.

          9. Asp Emp says:

            Sorry, I think I should have used ‘boomerang’ instead of curve balls !! It doesn’t really matter because no-one would see either of them coming! (laughing).

          10. A Victor says:

            Lol, both work, both are ‘stealth’. Haha!

          11. Asp Emp says:

            Weapons, AV, weapons…….

          12. A Victor says:

            Hahaha!!

          13. Bubbles says:

            Dearest Asp Emp,
            If you “own” something, (or have a stake in it) then don’t you control it ?
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

        2. A Victor says:

          I do not think I understand that difference yet. I think it has to do with boundary issues, or lack of boundary issues. Also, my ex did not act like he owned me, until he threw me on the scrap heap. But prior to that he was so uninvolved it didn’t even feel like we were married a lot of times. So that adds to my confusion. But, the thing upstairs did the ‘owning’ thing. That’s where the bulk of my boundary issues come from too.

          1. Asp Emp says:

            AV, it takes time to ‘see’ the difference between ‘own’ and ‘love’. See my comment to Bubbles on what I wrote in relation to ‘own’ and ‘control’. You will eventually understand the difference 🙂

      2. A Victor says:

        Yes, there is! I don’t have it completely clear yet, another thing to work on. Ugh. But I will!
        Or if I don’t I will never date again! Talk about f’d up messages from ones parents, geez. Referring to my own situation only, of course.

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