Brilliance, Baloney or Bullshit?



FR David once declared, “Words don’t come easy to me.”

He must not have belonged to Narc Club because we love words and using them. Why is that? They are so easy to use and so powerful. We use words to charm, to seduce, to astound, to amuse, to arouse, to hurt, to wound, to put down, to terrify, to lash out, to apologise, to correct, to mollify, to appease and to hoover.

We actually only use them for one thing.

To control.

Words are far more attractive than action. This is because words form on our lips in an instant, they tap into your empathic and narcissistic traits so readily to ensure we wrap our controlling tendrils about you. Words enable control. Words garner fuel. Words cost nothing. Words vanish into the ether. Words can be denied. Words can be twisted. Words can be fabricated. Words can be lost. Words can be found.

Words come very easy to us.

What comes from our mouths is a product of our narcissism, refined of course by our school. Face a Lesser Narcissist and you can expect direct comments, wild boasts, raged-filled tirades and mammoth exaggerations. Those words issued by the Lesser will not be winning any Booker Prizes, but they remain effective. They are effective because they cost the lazy lesser nothing to use and they enable him to achieve control.

Should the words come pouring from a Mid Range Narcissist, these range from Long Involved Explanations, grandiose prose feigning some Romantic poet, mealy-mouthed apologies, angst-ridden pity plays, sobbing symphonies seeking sympathy and pompous posturing by the fireplace of arrogance. Mid Rangers can be accomplished wordsmiths, doling out some delicious word salads, getting you on the merry go round of Circular Conversations and making frequent use of plausible deniability, with the “I did not quite say that,” or “you have not remembered what I said correct” or “I would explain again but it is quite clear you do not understand what I mean.”

When the Greater lets the serpent´s tongue emerge, instinct largely slips away and if you are the rare victim of the Greater you will find yourself on the receiving end of the calculated, probing, forensic comments where each word has been carefully considered to ensure maximum impact. Nothing is wasted, every word counts and the savage sentences see your throat ripped out as we still stand smiling at you and you slowly start to realise that you died five seconds ago but your brain is just catching up.

Of course all three schools use words in the context of the Narcissist´s Conditional Asterisk and all three schools will use words purely to control because not only are they so much less effort to use, they also provide a fantastic return for the minimum expenditure of effort and that ratio of effort as against return is central to our behaviours.

Sometimes we exhibit brilliance in our words. Often our kind demonstrate baloney although you may take some time to ascertain that this is what has just been spouted. Similarly often there is just pure bullshit spouted by the narcissist. Again, you may be slow to have realised this, your emotional thinking clouding your application of logic. Occasionally you know that this stinking pile of excrement is being dumped on you but you fail to get out of the way, you emotional thinking addled-mind struggling under the steaming load that has been deposited your way. Invariably, it is only afterwards, with the cleansing effect of Logical Thinking that you will clear away the dung and see the comment for what it was, leaving you incredulous, shaking your head and your gast flabbered.

Our kind come out with choice examples of utter bollocks, but of course, from the uttering narcissist it is deemed to be entirely apt for the purposes of asserting control and the clouding effect of emotional thinking ensures that the comment gets the narcissist over the finishing line of control.

On this occasion we are focusing on the bullshit and the floor is open to you to provide us with the golden turds that your narcissist said, wrote or carved into a tree near your house. Let’s have those one or two lines which contained a choice example and feel free to expand on how you felt and how you reacted to it.

The floor is yours, just watch where you tread……

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4 thoughts on “Brilliance, Baloney or Bullshit?

  1. Judi says:

    “Reach into my chest and grab a piece of ice” were often used when I would break down in tears pleading trying to save the marriage. Now that I know what a narcissist is and that I spent 15 years with one…. I get to use those words in court after I discarded him with zero emotion when he begged and pleaded with me not to take everything Im legally entitled to have.

  2. Super Fuel Provider says:

    “She’s what you’re never going to be”
    Those were the appetizers followed by other more I do not dare to repeat in – what I understand now – was a follow up hoover.
    Three months had been passed since I escaped and as I found out he was already with someone else I thought I was in a safe place, so I unblocked him, the next morning I was receiving words in every form that he knew would kill me.
    Even though by that time I hadn’t found the embodiment of logic and the ‘light’ that would clear everything I went through, I somehow understood where he was coming from and I didn’t take any of the things he threw at me.
    That night – instinctively I have to say – I blocked him again and start searching wtf was going on. Three weeks later and having read, hear and studied every time I can the content by HG here I am, commenting at this post because I FEEL so much gratefulness for teaching me to regulate my emotional thinking and apply hard cool logic as it’s required. I ADMIRE YOU so much.

    1. NarcAngel says:

      Super FP

      I’m glad you have found your way here and that the work is assisting you. This is a place of clarity like no other.

  3. Asp Emp says:

    That Lesser, 5 / 6 years ago, crosses the road to speak to me but I was not looking at him directly (at all)…. I didn’t want to ‘engage’ with him at all……

    Conversation starts with general chit-chat then he goes into the emotional blackmail (that is what I called it back then – it was actually manipulation)….. he saw that it didn’t work – he ‘deployed’ several Hoovers during this whole ‘engagement’ yet I managed to avoid each one and keep the Hoover Bar raised – my Logical Thinking was guided by my Instincts, not my Emotional Thinking.


    Lesser : “I have an issue with my eyes, there is nothing they can do” (using the sympathy but maliciously selfish route)

    Me : “Well, let’s put it this way, you can get a dog” (I knew corrective surgery would have been a solution but did not mention it and was calm – yet my instincts were SCREAMING, very highly ‘tuned’, I was not afraid, just had my own ‘facade’ up)

    Lesser : “What?!…. Oh fuck off, I don’t want a blind dog” (he meant a Guide Dog for the Blind, but because I had ‘thrown’ him, his usual “logical” mind was failing him on this one day)

    Me : (responding immediately, without my brain engaging, the words came out of my mouth so quick, but, ah, so brilliant) “Oh, the dog won’t be blind”.

    Lesser : A long bleep of an Error Code 404

    Me : (without giving him a chance to respond) “Well, it was good to talk with you, you know how to contact me” (I had given him a business card, no personal phone number, only a work email – knowing that he would not contact me on that – me, raising the Hoover Bar higher)….. there’s been NO telecommunications at all since….

    I did not know it was narcissism, I did not have knowledge about empaths, I had my ‘protective wall’ up, my primal and survival instincts took over (my own self-defense ‘system’ as I wrote in ‘The Empath’s Riposte Grenades’), I did not ‘crumble’ under ‘pressure’ in front of him. By the time I had walked away and got into my car, I was almost hysterical – laughing all the way home – delighted with myself for being strong, confident and ability to ‘brush him off’.

    Until he crosses the road to speak to me again last November, I did not speak to him, this time. I was ‘freaked’, because I was on my journey of learning about narcissism, because I realised he is a narcissist – that was what unnerved me, recalling what he did to me was not out of ‘love’, it was Domestic Violence and more. I felt sick, angry and cried when I got home. And shared on KTN blog about this.

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