Scenting Blood

SCENTING-BLOOD

 

In our engagement with our appliances and especially with our primary sources, we are repeatedly seeking to extract fuel. We have been designed to draw those fuel providers into our grasp, from the colleagues that we work with, the relevant family members and friends so that rather than surround ourselves with appliances of limited function we ensure that all those who are attached to us are likely to provide us with fuel. As I have explained before, we like to preserve our energy and operate in an efficient and effective fashion. As part of that approach we like to ascertain if we can scent fuel in our interactions with you, in the same way that a shark smells blood in the ocean and knows that a bigger prize awaits. There are certain responses that you provide that immediately tell us that there is more fuel ready to be extracted. Just as how a tiny nick on your leg may cause droplets of blood to fall and be smelt by the predatory shark, there are certain things that you will say to us that tells us that we should dive straight in and seize the advantage. There are comments that you will make which indicates to us that you are holding a reservoir of fuel just under the surface and all we need to do is slice you open and gorge on that waiting fuel. Your response tells us that your emotion is there, just a few moments away from being extracted, seized and gathered, so that rather than attend to something else we are best served by focusing our efforts on you.

It is akin to staring at a vast body of water behind a glass partition. We want that body of water to come gushing forward, engulfing us and cascading over us. We do not wish to dedicate the time to hammering away at this toughened glass in the hope of eventually making it crack. We do not want to expend our energy chiselling and drilling but instead we want to find the weak spot. We want to identify that flaw, that weakness, that opening, which means that with the careful application of pressure, the edifice will shatter and the water will come surging over us in an instant. You are no different. You are filled with fuel. That is why we chose you. You might be a co-dependent super tanker of fuel that requires the hull to be holed, you may be a super empathic fuel well which just needs to be drilled or an empathic fuel pump where one pinprick in the hose will allow the fuel to spurt out. You are a walking fuel depot and at times we can do just one thing, say one thing and the fuel will come fountaining from you, shooting out of you, gushing from you, ready for us to suck it all up, gorging on your delicious and potent fuel and drinking deep of your vast resources.

It is you that gives us the indication that you are ready to flow with fuel, that the dam can easily be breached and once you provide that indication to us, it only takes a small amount of pressure, a modicum of application and the most straightforward of manipulations to cause you to burst and we gain so much fuel. You are teetering on the brink of providing the fuel, it is almost spilling over there is so much of it and you tell us that it is there, often in just one sentence and then we apply the pressure and the geyser erupts.

These indications are applicable to both positive fuel and negative fuel. The comments in themselves will provide some slight amount of fuel but they are indicators, gateways telling us that in that moment there is a whole host of additional fuel ready to be tapped and it is easy to do so. This is why when you provide us with the positive indicators we dive in and invite you to expand on the point that you have made, the comments that you have shared because we know that there is more behind what you have said and we want it. It becomes even more evident when with the negative indicators. These really are a green light for us to satiate our fuel lust in the way that a pugilist would satisfy his bloodlust. You have waved the key in front of us through your comment and we will focus on that comment and what it signifies in order to get at the fuel that is hoarded behind it.

Should you say them to us you should be aware that you have just telegraphed that there is fuel to be gained and whatever we might have been doing will be forgotten as we turn and fix our eyes on you. Like the cruising shark, the scent of blood has been detected and easy and satisfying prey is well within reach. Our cold jaws will be clenched around you as we puncture you and begin to slurp on the surfeit of fuel. What then are these indicators, what should you be aware of what is it that you say which tells us that there is fuel ready and waiting to be extracted, exploited and consumed?

The Positive Indicators

  1. I love you
  2. How did you manage to do that?
  3. There is nobody like you.
  4. Where did you get that shirt from?
  5. That was amazing.
  6. That is an outstanding result.
  7. I could listen to you talk for hours.
  8. I could kiss you forever.
  9. I would die for you.
  10. I cannot imagine being anywhere else right now other than with you.
  11. I have finally found what I have been searching for.
  12. If I died now, it would not matter.
  13. I don’t know what I would do without you.
  14. I would do anything for you.
  15. I belong to you.

The Negative Indicators

 

  1. Where have you been?
  2. I hate you right now.
  3. Don’t leave me.
  4. Why must you hurt me like this?
  5. Who is she?
  6. I just need to feel loved.
  7. I miss you still.
  8. Is that it?
  9. What about me?
  10. You are being unfair.
  11. Please listen to me.
  12. Don’t shout at me.
  13. I don’t understand.
  14. Please talk to me.
  15. Please stop.
  16. I need to sleep.
  17. Please be reasonable.
  18. It is my birthday.
  19. Please, for my sake, just do it.
  20. You are scaring me now.

Let the feeding frenzy commence.

30 thoughts on “Scenting Blood

  1. MP says:

    Hmmm out of all of these the only thing my husband and I said/say to each other is I love you. It looks like we’re both not fuel material. We both praise stuff that we did but we probably didn’t use the word amazing but more like “good job!” In some instances he told me that I am fantastic and I told him that he’s awesome. He does say a lot that nobody else is like me but in a teasing way or funny way of picking on my quirkiness. 😊

  2. Asp Emp says:

    Having re-read what I commented on previous posts of this article :

    Interesting that I used ‘mental vultures’ as a description for narcissists.

    In some way, laterally thinking, parts of a ‘victims’ brain gets ‘picked’ at to the point where it is functioning in a less effective way than it was before the victim is ensnared by a narcissist. The thinking patterns become less effective and less logical. Thus leading to ‘confused’ emotional patterns because of an ‘addiction’ to narcissism.

    My earlier comment included “emotional vampires” – to a degree, laterally thinking, narcissists do (instinctively) manipulate the emotions of people around them in order to obtain ‘fuel’ and to assert control to feel ‘powerful’ to quieten the ‘creature’ from within.

    “Let the feeding frenzy commence”……

    Lesser = piranha
    Mid-range = whale
    Greater = shark
    The Ultra = dolphin

    1. A Victor says:

      Asp Emp, HG a dolphin?!? You must know something about dolphins that I don’t know…

      Or… is it something about HG?

      1. Asp Emp says:

        AV, if you consider the behaviours of narcissists as per school – Lessers being aggressive, MRs being whining, Greaters being calculating, hence my list. HG is not like them. Dolphins are highly intelligent and are ‘tuned’ into humans – just like HG, his work and KTN blog.

        1. A Victor says:

          Oh I see, that makes sense. See, you did know something I didn’t know! Haha! Or at least hadn’t thought of in such terms. Interesting, thank you!

          1. Asp Emp says:

            AV, my lateral thinking is one of my best traits 🙂

        2. Kiki says:

          Awwh the whale is a gentle creature, 😊even the Orca , a real empath of the animal kingdom.

          Kiki

          1. Asp Emp says:

            Kiki, RE: the whale, I agree (but it’s their noise = the whining of the MR). However, did you know that Orcas actually dive into the mouth of a blue whale – Orcas are not as ‘sweet’ as you may view them. They are smart but in my view, they are more predatory than the shark.

  3. Whitney says:

    HG my God, he told me that my customers buy from me because they think it’s adorable that I’m trying to run my own business and they feel sorry for me because I’m dumb. So I asked him “aren’t people motivated by self interest? Why don’t they donate $2000 to charity if they’re buying it because they feel sorry for me”. He was annoyed and he said people are self interested, but in the moment they are motivated by shame and pride, and they would feel ashamed not to buy from someone like me, so they are obliged to buy out of shame and guilt. Then I asked if they trust me? And he said yes they trust me because I have no malice and they can sense that. Then I asked him if he has malice and he said that he’s full of malice, anger and hatred that is useful to him, and that he directs most of it towards me.

    1. WhoCares says:

      Whitney,

      “he told me that my customers buy from me because they think it’s adorable that I’m trying to run my own business and they feel sorry for me because I’m dumb.”

      He actually insulted you by saying the above – which implies that you aren’t capable of running a successful business that offers a service/product that is needed and appreciated by people. That they only frequent your business because they feel sorry for you…why are still conversing with such an individual? (Especially post Narc Detector.)

      1. Whitney says:

        Thank you so much WhoCares, I know he was trying to insult me. It didn’t bother me.

    2. Sweetest Perfection says:

      “He said he’s full of malice, anger and hatred that is useful to him, and that he directs most of it towards me.” I cannot imagine a clearer sign to run the fuck away. He is the one who should be ashamed of being so cruel and nesting such negative feelings. I’m sorry, I know that had to hurt but you know it’s not true. I would not speak to such a toxic person again especially after that self-confession!

      1. Whitney says:

        Thank you Sweetest Perfection you are very wise

        1. Sweetest Perfection says:

          It’s easier to see it from the outside. Take care of yourself, Whitney. That person is no good.

          1. Asp Emp says:

            SP, RE: “It’s easier to see it from the outside” – absolutely. If you have gained the knowledge about narcissism, read about other’s experiences, or what they are going through, seeing their perspective as someone not directly involved in that person’s situation, it is easier to understand what they are going through and provide support where you can.

        2. Violetta says:

          Is this that creep who wanted you to move in with his family or a different creep?

          1. Whitney says:

            That’s why you need to reduce emotional thinking. It makes you see things as an outsider. Objective

            Yes Violetta. He’s extraordinarily good looking

          2. Violetta says:

            Whitney:

            Looks fade. Narcissism is forever.

          3. Whitney says:

            Thank you Violetta. I know he’d look exquisite into old age but he wouldn’t be loyal to me if he’s a Narcissist. Love is richer and more interesting. I think he might love me though. He might not be a Narcissist

          4. WhoCares says:

            Whitney,

            “I think he might love me though. He might not be a Narcissist”

            Even if you entertained – for a split second – that he is not a narcissist, that just makes him a total callous, insulting jerk who doesn’t deserve you.
            Nobody with real emotional empathy, who loves you, would insult your intelligence and abilities in that fashion.

          5. Asp Emp says:

            WhoCares, “Nobody with real emotional empathy, who loves you, would insult your intelligence and abilities in that fashion” – absolutely.

          6. Whitney says:

            What he says makes me laugh and doesn’t offend me though.

          7. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Cognitive dissonance.

  4. A Victor says:

    So many of these are common terminology for me. It almost makes me not want to talk at all.

  5. WiserNow says:

    This is slightly off topic, however, the thing that HG does really well is to explain narcissism using categories like schools, cadres, etc. His analytical approach to behaviours, fuel types, the meaning behind words, empath grenades, minor or major scales of abusiveness, etc are all very helpful in recognising and understanding narcissism in a practical way.

    There’s a lot of ambiguous and intentionally misleading things narcissists do and they have a wide range of different behaviours. This makes it difficult for a non-narcissist to grasp this topic with clarity. HG’s way of describing things in an analytical way really helps to make sense of it.

    There is a recent Australian 3-part documentary series on domestic violence called ‘See What You Made Me Do’. The series explains aspects such as coercive control, stalking and spying, financial control, physical violence towards spouses and children, etc. It describes controlling and abusive relationships in depth and also mentions ‘humiliation rage’ as the underlying cause of a perpetrator’s anger and control issues. However, the series doesn’t mention narcissism or sociopathy, there is no focus on psychological disorders, and the issues behind the behaviours are discussed in general terms, as though they are fairly straightforward to ‘rehabilitate’.

    Because the physical violence and overt controlling behaviours are so visible, extreme and obviously dangerous, the subject of ‘domestic violence’ in the series is focused on physical, sexual and terrorising types of abuse toward women and the perpetrators are all male.

    A number of perpetrators are interviewed as they undergo behaviour classes designed to teach things like emotional self-regulation, anger management, and reflecting on how it feels to be on the receiving end of such abuse.

    As I watched the series, I thought to myself, they are most probably male Lesser narcissists who do not have a facade or have trouble maintaining one. Their ‘control’ and ‘devaluation’ is extreme, overt, financial and physical. They respond to wounding by erupting in heated fury.

    HG’s analytical approach made it clear what these perpetrators were, yet the subject of ‘domestic violence’ is still being discussed in general ways that don’t provide much clarity and definition, even though such programs are well-intentioned and want to provide help and understanding.

    1. Bubbles says:

      Dearest WiserNow,
      I saw this series. I’m glad there’s more awareness being made and yes, I agree with you, these are lesser narcissists!
      It was a real eye opener and it seems ‘coercive control’ is the term being associated with abuse!
      Mr Tudor’s indepth analysis, clarity and the terminology makes sense when you look at the big picture as he defines it for what it really is. This is just the tip of the iceberg ! I feel more and more will be exposed and we have just the man to do it.
      Luv Bubbles xx 😘

      1. WiserNow says:

        Hi Bubbles,

        It’s interesting, isn’t it, to watch or learn about ‘narcissism’ from different sources while having HG’s information in the back of your mind? It adds new layers of meaning.

        The topic of ‘coercive control’ in relation to domestic abuse is being discussed quite a lot at the moment. It’s good that laws are being introduced and it’s being criminalised.

        It’s interesting that Jess Hill (the journalist in the doco who wrote the book ‘See What You Made Me Do’) discusses all the textbook behaviours yet doesn’t mention ‘narcissism’ at all. I saw a speech she made about coercive control (not in the series) and she mentioned that perpetrators can have either ‘instrumental’ or ‘instinctive’ abusive behaviours. The ‘instrumental’ ones are where the abuser is cognitively aware and plans the abuse. The ‘instinctive’ ones are where the abuser reacts without cognitive awareness. She talks about perpetrators ranging from “jealous paranoid partners to psychopaths”. So, she does frame it in terms of psychopathy to some extent, but it seems that her take is that ‘instinctive’ abusers are unaware and therefore not ‘psychopaths’.

        It’s a big topic overall, and different sources will have different definitions about certain things.

        I agree that the information that’s currently available is the tip of the iceberg. It is definitely helpful to have HG’s information about it all.

        1. Bubbles says:

          Dearest WiserNow,
          Ohh absolutely instinctive in this scenario … totally agree.
          I feel this is the majority of DV that police are called to
          Planned or instrumental abuse is another series altogether
          I was also very surprised narcissism was not mentioned at all and it’s interesting to view these specials with the awareness of what we know and have learnt here .. all the same pattern and behaviour
          What went on with these relationships is not what a ‘normal’ loving relationship consists of
          We as women, get sucked in slowly and paralysed by these men and our ‘ideal’ turns into anything but
          Going into a relationship doesn’t mean you yield and forfeit yourself
          Sadly for many, it’s all too late
          Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          1. WiserNow says:

            Hi Bubbles,

            Yes, the high number of marriages where women and children are controlled and terrorised makes me think that such ‘relationships’ are not what nature or evolution intended as what a family situation should be. To be stuck in these domestic violence traps must be hell on earth.

            Considering the law and how marriage is formulated in legal terms, it makes me think that there should be some kind of clause or legal avenue where a ‘marriage’ can be more easily terminated or dissolved if there is a pattern of coercive control, manipulation or violence. It would provide an easier way out for ‘victims’ and a possible deterrent for perpetrators. There has to be a better way to protect people who are living in these horrible situations.

            Thank you for your comment Bubbles 🙂

          2. Bubbles says:

            Dearest WiserNow,
            Thank you WN … Couldn’t agree with you more
            Luv Bubbles 😘

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