Found In Translation



The way that our kind speaks is a language all of its own. Narcspeak appears at first to be a normal way of speaking, with the inferences, interpretations and connotations that one would ordinarily expect when hearing phrases such as ‘I love you’ and ‘I am sorry’. You will not grasp that there is a different meaning to much of what we say to you, at least not until it is too late. Once you have mastered Narcspeak however it becomes readily apparent what is actually being conveyed to you. Understand this form of double speak from us is a useful skill to achieve. Not only will it bring clarity to what has been said to you in the past and what was really meant, it will assist in understanding how to deal with the narcissist in your life going forward, if you have occasion to interact with him or her again.

Narcspeak arises because we operate in a different reality to you. We perceive the facts differently and therefore there will be an alternative interpretation attached to what we say. We know the context of what we are saying, so that it apparently fits with the situation and the discussion, but that is purely as a consequence of our ability to mimic and to convey what should be said. We know what we actually mean when we say these things. We mean something else.

This allows us to evade any culpability at a later juncture if you try to tell us that we said something. We may deny that we said it and if we do admit it, our admission is only ever in the context of what we intend it to mean. We use these words and phrases as a cloak to what we are actually saying to you and the sooner you begin to understand what we are really telling you, the sooner you will achieve a clarity of understanding which will remove the fog of confusion and enable you to decide how best to respond.

By way of example here are a number of phrases which you will always hear with our kind and beneath is what is really being said to you.

I don’t think that it suits you

You look absolutely ridiculous


I didn’t look at anyone else the whole time I was out.

I kissed several people. I have no idea who they were.


You must believe me.

I am telling you a lie.


What are you thinking?

I am not going to tell you anything until I have worked you out first so I know what will be the right things to say to you.


Don’t you trust me?

I find your insecurities both irritating and wonderful. I am annoyed that you think you can exert control over me. I am pleased that you are anxious and I make you that way.


I promise.

I’m just going to tell you what you want to hear.


We will always be together.

You belong to me. I will pick you up and put you down as I see fit.


I cannot stop thinking about you.

You and her. Oh and her. Her as well.


You don’t understand me.

Everything I have told you is a lie so it is little wonder that you do not.


I like you.

You do what I want.


I need some time to myself.

I am spending the night with your best friend.


We are just friends.

We have slept together and we will again.


I am so confused.

I want someone else now.



We have nothing in common.

We never had, I just made it look that way.


You will always be special to me, no matter what happens.

Your fuel is well worth coming back for and that is why I have come back.


It was nothing serious.

Yes, we had sex.


I didn’t do it.

Oh yes I did.


I’d like to see you again.

You have more fuel to give me.


Let’s stay friends.

I want to establish a reason that seems credible to you for returning and hurting you.


I don’t really remember.

I know only too well, not that I am going to admit it to you.



I am broken.

I know saying this will sound good and I am feeling somewhat desperate at the moment to keep hold of you.


She meant nothing to me.

Her fuel meant everything to me. More than what yours means to me.


I must have been drunk.

I was drunk. I often am. I know what I did though because I wanted it to happen.


I am just speaking my mind.

You had better fucking listen to me.


I am not starting an argument here.

It’s fuel time


I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better.

I haven’t a clue and I don’t care.


I will change.

You are a fool.


I want to be a better person.

You are a bigger fool than I first thought.


You always make it all about you.

It should be all about me.


I’ve no idea who she is.

I have slept with her at least a half a dozen times.


I don’t recognise that number.

I do. Why is she calling me when I told her not to?

I’m not with anybody.

I am but that is not standing in the way tonight.


It is all rather complicated.

It is bullshit.


I didn’t mean for that to happen.

Oh yes I did and I will do it again.



You made me do it.

I am too weak to accept responsibility.


You don’t have to if you don’t want to.



I don’t know who I am sometimes.

That sounds deep. She will love that.


I love you.

I expect you to do what I want.

I love your fuel.



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9 thoughts on “Found In Translation

  1. Pingback: Broken – Manipulation Translation – Broken
  2. Liza says:

    This reminds me of a coworker of mine, she uses similar words as everyone but with her it has always a different meaning and she seems always shocked that the average human being doesn’t interpret things like her, and adding to her total lack of consistency she is very slow, I hate using this word on someone but there is not a more polite way to describe her, every time she talks to me and I try to explain something to her, I end up with a headache, I swear that it came to the point that when I accidentally make eye contact with her and I see that little twitching on her lower lip that means she’s gonna talk to me, there is an earthquake in my heart, I get pre-annoyed. Last Monday, she asked me about the recipe for a pie, I gave it to her, and I gave her the exact preparation method and the next day she came and told me that I must have made a mistake on the recipe because it didn’t taste the same, I explained that I gave her the exact instructions I use, and then she told me that, she didn’t want to use almond powder so she replaced it by speculoos, she was too lazy to make 3 layers of different creams and she the same one, so she used different ingredients and a different method but was shocked that the taste wasn’t the same O_O. But it is not the worst part, the worst is that she makes statements and looks at me with those big expecting eyes as if waiting for an answer, I just want to shout “it is a statement I have nothing to tell you, please remove your gaze from me it makes want to leave the building !!!!!! ”

    The funny thing is that a monthe ago she told me “i noticed that you don’t like to talk liza, if i don’t talk to you, you would never talk” so she actually noticed that i wanted to be left alone but she still pesters me T_T

    Sorry, my comment has no objective utility just venting my frustration.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Part of the role of this place is to allow such venting, Liza.

      1. Liza says:

        Thank you for your reassurance, Mr.HG, it is adorable ^^

  3. Duchessbea says:

    HG, does every cadre of narc think this way, although with the lesser and mid-range in an unaware version of this?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You mean school, not cadre. This is how the narcissism functions, whether the narcissist is aware or unaware.

  4. Asp Emp says:

    I started laughing when I read “I am just speaking my mind” = “You had better fucking listen to me”. Because I am aware that I have used similar words in relation to speaking my mind on this blog…….. need I say more?

    RE : the list of narc sayings and the ‘hidden’ meanings, I have to admit, I enjoyed reading them, some of them are hilarious.

    Hmm, should an educated empath recognise Narcspeak from a person and respond by using the ‘translated’ words back to the narcissist, I suppose it may cause a ‘404’ moment, effectively issuing a ‘word salad’ with dressing. Or, would it send a moment of unexplainable, instinctive ‘fear’ within the narcissist (just because the majority of narcissists are unaware of what they are)?

    How would a Greater respond / react? Would they adopt their malicious ‘machinations / calculations’?

    Ah, yes…. An empowered & educated empath experiencing an empath’s supanova can always refer to the Narcspeak translated list and maybe lead the narcissist to have a ‘reality gap’ (an extended ‘404’). Slam dunked narcissist.

  5. A Victor says:

    Such a basic, so hard to remember. So many basics, it is overwhelming. Different actions, motives, thinking, use of words, ‘use’ of people etc. And with the similarities, the appearance, the sounds, the physical needs etc. So much to remember, keep straight and see clearly. This explains why it is such a long, challenging process, for me at least.

  6. leelasfuelstinks says:

    My favorite:

    “Ask mom, she will help you with that” 🙄
    Don´t expect me to do “daddy stuff”. I don´t care.

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