20 Fuelling Admissions



There are many things that my kind like you to say. We want to hear your praise, your affection, your love and your adoration. We want to hear your anger, your frustration, your upset and your vitriol. You hear words. We hear emotions which fuel us and cause the powering flames to burn fiercer and higher.

When you become ensnared by one of our kind, we make you a victim of our range of machinations. As part of this entrapment we aim to have you provide us with fuel and this is done by causing you to say certain things to us. We are obsessed with the concept of our status, our superiority and our power. We must always ensure that you are inferior to us, that we are in control and that you are obedient.

If we ever feel that this imbalance is slipping, then we will fight to maintain it. We are the conqueror you are the conquered. In keeping with this need for control and domination, we want you to not only be the victim but ensure that you act as one and portray your status of victimhood at all times in your dealings with us, save when we decide to the contrary.

The latter being usually for public appearances and the maintenance of the façade. We want and need to hear you reinstate your designated role. Of course this does not mean that you will declare that you are a victim, using those very words, because when we have you in our grasp you do not realise that you are indeed a victim.

Instead we need to hear it through you stating certain phrases which amount to admissions that you are a victim. Understand that when you make these remarks you are fuelling us and also reinforcing the imbalance that exists between you and us.

  1. I am sorry.
  2. I just didn’t think.
  3. I don’t know what I am supposed to do.
  4. I can’t understand what you want.
  5. I can’t take this anymore.
  6. I will do anything for you.
  7. I just want this to work.
  8. I’m not giving up on us.
  9. I deserve better than this.
  10. Why are you doing this?
  11. Please stop.
  12. Please talk to me.
  13. Am I not good enough for you?
  14. Why is it only me that is treated like this?
  15. I just want to be happy.
  16. Tell me what you want from me.
  17. I didn’t realise.
  18. I always put you first.
  19. I want to make you happy.
  20. What’s happened to us?

15 thoughts on “20 Fuelling Admissions

  1. Alexissmith2016 says:

    I often felt inside I wanted to say some of these things. It’s making me realise that my N trait of pride must be incredibly dominant because I just couldn’t bring myself to.

    It’s interesting I would not have considered myself to be a particularly proud person because I do lots of other things which no person with a sense of pride would ever consider.

    I’m also not too proud to admit my mistakes (well some of them hahaha) so it’s not that. I think the pride kicks in when any form of devaluation starts with an IP or NISS. I struggle hugely in bowing down to people. Though I’m learning to as it can be beneficial at times.

    1. Joa says:

      “My” narcissist often spoke of female pride – treated as a very welcome element in the game. He is looking for such women.

      “Ah, your female pride. You are so easy to outsmart your pride on your own.”

    2. Leigh says:

      Alexis, I read your comment with interest. Pride is my highest narcissistic trait and yet t I found myself saying these things to workplace narc, ALL THE TIME. My pride went right out the freaking window, lol! He made feel things that I’ve never felt and I didn’t want to give up those feelings. So during our 18 month affair, I tried really hard to keep him happy. I guess my empathic trait of caring and healing overpowered my pride.

      1. A Victor says:

        Pride is my highest N trait also and looking at the list I say probably a third frequently and have said many of the rest on occasion. I wonder if it ties in to the schools or cadres as much or more than our N traits. Could even be E traits?

      2. A Victor says:

        Leigh, You already addressed the E traits. Just caught that. 🙂

        1. Leigh says:

          AV, its also my need to be the peacemaker. I say these things to make the other person feel better. I don’t want there feelings to be hurt.

    3. SParham says:

      Pride and justice are my highest N trait. The trait detector was spot on and validation of why I can turn into a demon when both of these traits are stomped on. Unfortunate witnesses to my reactions are shocked that I can be such a shithead. Injustice towards children, the elderly, invalids and animals really fire me up. I have no fear of reactions and only see red and destruction of the perpetrator. At the times of injustice’ I cannot believe folks just stand by and watch. Not me, it’s like I’m my own jury and judge for atrocious behaviors. I’m not physically violent but my mouth sure is. When my pride is hurt I get weird too. I’m less aware that this is the case when I’m in a rage but do realize it when I’m separated from the culprit. Pride is what I am having the biggest issue with while learning how to deal with narcissists. It trips me up every time.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Justice is an empathic trait.

  2. SParham says:

    1 – too easy to say. Sad thing is I really mean it.
    2 – the lesser thinks I’m a flake so I don’t have to say it.
    3, 4, 5 – all stated way too many times.
    6, 7, 8 – no fucking way would I say these to the lesser.
    9, 10, 11 – again, too many times.
    12 – maybe back in 1993, I can’t remember.
    13 – I’d love to take back asking that.
    14 – oh yes. I used to call it leftovers from him pretending to be so charming and good.
    15 – this is a reoccurring statement for me. It’s up there with I’m sorry.
    16 – he would never shut up if I asked that. Respite is always my aim.
    17 – because I really didn’t realize he suddenly loves baked muffins again. That was a stupid devaluation.
    18 – nope. Kids come first. I haven’t wavered in that and he seems to know. There is triangulation when the kid gets their plate of food first. It wounds him.
    19 & 20 – as HG says, fuck that sky high!

    1. lickemtomorrow says:

      SPar, I like the way you broke down the list and gave a blow by blow description there 😛

      I especially like No.12, and “maybe back in 1993”. Unfortunately, for me it was much more recent than that. Like 2019. And more than once. At least I held my own going into the apocalypse <3

    2. Joa says:

      I also liked the number 12 the most, it made me smile 🙂

  3. A Victor says:

    I hate that I say these phrases, even now to people sometimes. They are different when they are not to a narcissist though, I think.

    1. Eternity says:

      A Victor , I do too! It is just who we are.

      1. A Victor says:

        Thank you Eternity! I thought I was supposed to stop saying them! But that would be almost impossible! You have made me feel better! 💖

        1. Eternity says:

          You are so welcome hun 😘

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