The Holy Narcissist
The holy narcissist is one of the especially effective members of the narcissistic brethren. The attraction of religion but moreover being a member of the clergy carries with it considerable advantages for those of our kind who manage to install themselves within organised religion.
The holy narcissist is nigh on impeachable. What better authority can there be for always being right, always having the high ground and always being revered than as an instrument of God? The holy narcissist has the supreme power in his corner and a book full of phrases and sentences that he can turn to in support of his wisdom. He is here to do good work and by virtue of his position he is assumed to be truthful, kind, compassionate and empathic. The holy narcissist has one of the most effective facades one might hope to see amongst our kind. His is not a façade which has to be worked at through the careful application of community works, diligent industry at work and all round good guy in the neighbourhood. No, the holy narcissist has centuries of instilled goodness to drape around him in an impenetrable cloak of goodness. He has saints and apostles marching behind him, archangels hovering above him, charitable works to point to, the salvation of the sick, the poor and the needy, all woven into this vast façade.
Once he joins the clergy he can avail himself of this façade in an instant. There is no steady and incremental accumulation of the veneer of respectability like the rest of our kind but instead it is akin to placing a cloak around himself and immediately he has a façade and not just a façade, but perhaps the ultimate façade on which to rely.
He is the embodiment of goodness, God’s word flows through him and as such he can act with unquestionable authority. He has zealots ready to support him and to shout down the heretics. Even though organised religion may not wield the power that it once did, one would be foolish to underestimate its effect still. Even those who do not believe and readily bait and insult those who do, are likely to think twice before attacking a man of the cloth. They wear God’s armour and the indoctrination of people, even those who have rejected the notion of such a being, means they would hesitate before launching some kind of attack against a member of the clergy. I have seen it happen. Those who are vociferous in all other aspects still show a deference to that dog collar.
A position in religion appeals greatly to our kind. You are blessed with an instant authority. You have scriptures, texts and readings which are used as a form of law to castigate mortal man and thus allow the holy narcissist to maintain superiority. There are grand and ornate ceremonies which the holy narcissist is the centre of. He dresses differently from the simplicity of the Catholic black which distinguished from others in the community to the papal splendour of the man (almost) at the top. Decadence, shiny and glittering decadence abounds and he even is able to stand at preach at his fellow man and woman. How does he do so? From the elevated position of the pulpit. Proof, if proof were needed that he is greater than those around him and finds himself part way between heaven and earth.
Where confession plays a part he is able to absorb the sins of his worshippers. The narcissist always needs to know and of course knowledge is power. Being privy to the foibles, sins and vulnerabilities of someone on the other side of that screen (who is of course readily known) vests considerable power in the holy narcissist. He is able to scold and upbraid and is thanked for doing so. He doles out devaluation on a daily basis and is met with the grateful thanks of those who seek absolution.
Should you offend him you are not just discarded but you are banished, made a pariah and few can smear you so darkly as one who apparently operates from the side of light. Step out of line with the holy narcissist and see how quickly the community is mobilised against you. You are snubbed at church (if you dare to appear) and this tarring and feathering leaks out into the community as a whole as the holy narcissist does not just have a coterie but he has a congregation. He does not just have Lieutenants, he has vergers and sextons, he has bishops and archbishops who will close ranks and turn their backs on those who speak ill of one of their own.
Try to speak out and expose the holy narcissist and he will describe you as ‘troubled’ and that he will pray for you, further advancing how filled with goodness he is and there must be something seriously wrong and deviant with you if you are resorting to making accusations against man of the cloth.
The holy narcissist has a position of considerable privilege. An ancient and powerful institution which resolutely supports him, the commanding word of God to dispense, the impressive façade and always the capacity to exploit a person’s fear of their own mortality. As it has been stated before, there were no atheists in the trenches. When the chips are down you either call out to God or your mother, usually both. When you know that despite all appearances, a person still has that need to call on a higher power when they are in fear, this places you in a powerful position.
This position comes with many benefits but the most attractive of all is the congregation. A loyal, devout conclave of fuel. Those who attend services, hold coffee mornings, raise collections, operate soup kitchens and so forth are the foot soldiers of empathy. They are inherently good people who care, who are honest and decent and they wish to exhibit their goodness through good acts and deeds. How they respond and light up when the holy narcissist moves amongst them thanking them for their endeavours. Their faces turn to the holy narcissist, rapt with delight, fuel gushing for them as the holy narcissist sweeps through his worshippers, drinking deep of their admiration, their love and their compassion. It is these people who are doing the dirty work, standing in the cold shaking a collecting tin, feeding down and outs in the less desirable areas of the city and walking mile upon mile to gather donations for the charity shop or food parcels. The holy narcissist will tap into this collective goodness and bolt it on to his façade. He will front the mission’s work, the output as he receives the earnest thanks of the disadvantaged and yet more fuel.
This congregation will round on transgressors, they will offer up delicious fuel as a host of secondary sources which has the holy narcissist positively drenched in the positive fuel. With firebrand enthusiasm, the holy preacher will set his sights on those who apparently do evil and will contentedly draw their ire and the associated negative fuel. He is unswayed. The Big Man has his back and with that it is ever onwards Christian soldiers. No matter what form this religion might take, there will always be holy narcissists in their numbers. There is so much that appeals and accords with the narcissist that organised religion will always attract our kind. The ready availability of unquestionable moral authority which is plated and welded to the narcissistic mind set of superiority, omnipotence and grandiosity makes for a heady concoction indeed. Many struggle to escape the clutches of a holy narcissist and if they do not comply, they are hammered into submission by one of the master strokes of organised religion, the concept of guilt.
Empathic individuals are burdened by guilt and with a book full of quotations that support this construct, the holy narcissist has a field day as he exploits this inherent trait of those who he deals with. You must never question him but you must question yourself because you are prone to sin, you are weighed down by guilt and therefore it is always your fault. It is manna from heaven for the narcissist. Everything about organised religion either elevates him or provides him with a set of tools and methods for keeping his congregation and worshippers submissive, appreciative and loyal. He is able to call on near total dedication and loyalty and if the occasional member strays out of line he has the means and the clerical muscle to either bring them back under his control or banish them into the wilderness. Exerting such control and being able to reap the fuel rewards demonstrates how supine his congregation becomes when it is in the hands of the holy narcissist.
No wonder it is referred to as his flock.
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Last year, I received a letter of invitation to a certain video-conference of a certain book-reading ‘club’. I ignored it but retained the letter and the photocopied leaflet. The envelope was addressed ‘Personal Invitation’ using ‘Householder’ and my address. A couple of days ago, I receive another letter. Different hand-writing, different name. This time, I laughed so much at what was written.
I thought to myself, I would rather stick with HG’s version of ‘The Book of Knowledge’, thank you very much.
Besides, me, now a weaponised empath, would simply be too much for that book ‘club’. Fkg laughing at myself. I can just imagine the ‘chaos’ if I suggested, in my personal opinion, that book is not necessarily factually correct. LOL.
HG’s words, “this is a place where you are meant to express yourself having been denied the ability to do so elsewhere” – my doing that at that book ‘club’ will not go down very well (still laughing).
Going on the assumption that nuns, especially old-school nuns who were harsh and often downright abusive, I’ve had some firsthand experience with this type of narcissist. My third grade teacher, who was a nun, was considered a divine being who could do no wrong. If anyone in my family ever heard me say anything negative about her, they would condemn me as a terrible person. In their minds, this amounted to treason. But she was a monster. I was terrified of her, as were most of my classmates. She was very easily offended and would always make everything about her, and if I ever stepped a toe out of line, there would be hell to pay. The same went for most of my classmates, though the ones who were the most unruly were sometimes allowed to get away with more than those of us who were meek and submissive. I think that at heart, these bullies are really cowards at heart, because they like to pick on those who are most easily shamed into submission, and are least likely to fight back. Now that I think about it, she did slap on of the boys in my class who bullied me, but only because he had mouthed off to her. She didn’t care how he treated any of his classmates, including me – because, like I said, it was all about her.
For a long time, I kept telling myself that this nun, this bully, didn’t really understand what Christianity was really all about, that God still loved me, even if she hated me. But lately, I’ve found myself questioning that too, because why would a God of love allow people like that to be in charge, and to abuse their power with impunity?
Perhaps this means that I just need to pursue a personal relationship with God outside of organized religion, because people in positions of power are so often corrupt and will ultimately lead us astray if we let them.
The keyword here is “organized religion” but a narcissist, even an ultra has no power over the empath who knows the truth. The truth that we are aware that organized religion is bullshit. It is not the truth and is an indoctrination of people who choose to follow such foolishness. True Christianity is not “ religion” it is “relationship” it is not following rules and laws it is a belief in a living and holy God that is forgiving and long suffering. So, the narcissist that tries to play that BS card to someone not knowledgeable to what it means to be a true Christian will fall prey to the BS. One that is strong in their faith will not fall to such lies. Although, mine attempted to sway me he could not. He denounced my God and I told him “ get thee behind me Satan!” And “ no weapon formed against me shall prosper!” He very soon after started the discard because he knew he could not infiltrate my faith and beliefs.
Wendy, yes, all of my narcs “religion” were at best dishonest, at worst sacrilege. With my understanding coming initially from my parents, who were diametrically opposed in their religious beliefs when I was a child, I grew up, as in many areas, confused and as such oblivious to red flags from potential romantic partners with regard to religion. The red flags were there, looking back I can see them clearly, saying one thing, living another. It wasn’t a matter so much of the strength of my faith but rather not yet understanding I had an addiction to narcissists. Today the knowledge of how some narcissists use religion joins my faith, to hopefully act as protection going forward. I cannot continue to allow words to have such an effect, even as my addiction would want me to. Now I see, along with other places, a fuller meaning of 2 Tim 3:2-5. The final phrase being “Avoid such people.” just as HG teaches us.
I started laughing when I saw the title of this article……”bible-bashing” was wording I used previously…..
No, fk the ‘Holy Narcissist’. In my opinion, The Bible is toilet paper…..remembering the literal paper toilet paper of the old days, harsh on the arse-wiping……the Izal brand…..FFS. It was ‘supplied’ until around 1984. Never saw it again at school after that…..god, that school was so far behind the rest of society! Prison style beds. Foam mattresses 5cm thick, I am not BS’ing here. The bed springs could be felt easily. We used cardboard under the mattress which was slightly more comfortable. FFS. I am laughing about it now. But. FFS. Them beds were shit. Those sheets were starched to death. Like fkg paper! Crackled with static electricity when the lights were off! Again, in 1984, we were allowed to take in our own quilts.
As far as I am concerned, KTN is the only encyclopedia of knowledge needed for humanity. It’s genuine. It’s real. Supplied with so many perceptions of understanding. Ah, bless you, HG for providing this site. Love you xxx