Nothing´s Impossible : Preventative Hoover
There are times when even my charm is in limited supply and is refusing to stretch. This often happens when I have subjected a victim to a fierce period of devaluation so that they have been pushed to their limits and they are at breaking point. Something stirs inside of them which causes them to decide that they need to escape me.
They may not fully understand why but they know that they need to depart. It may be the case that an external influence is interfering in my carefully laid plans of denigration and this meddling threatens to puncture or even sever my supply of delicious negative fuel.
It is at these moments when I am staring at the potential loss of a succulent supply of fuel that I make a particular play in order to prevent the cessation of supply. In such circumstances I will ensure that there is only you and I and that the potential for external interference is at a minimum. I need to ensure that I have your undivided attention and there will not be somebody else seeking to throw a spanner into the works. I want them excluded and banished so that I can concentrate entirely on you and make my last throw of the dice.
“I know that this time I will have to change,” I will begin as I fix you with my most earnest of looks. You stop what you are doing and look at me and already I can see the indecision in your eyes as I start with this sentence. It is always a good opening gambit. You and your like love to think that we can change, that there is some goodness deep within us that can be harnessed and used to get us back on track. You are great believers in redemption.
“I need a miracle to help me this time, “ I continue as I underline the gravity of the task that I am faced with. By according such gravitas to your stated intention to depart, I demonstrate just how seriously I am taking your threat. Inside I am exploding with rage at your audacity in daring to even to suggest that you will leave me. Me, of all people, me who has done so much for you. It is everything I can do to contain the fury but I know I must do so for an explosion now will be what finally pushes you away.
“How did we come to be this far apart?” I ask fixing you with a pleading look. By underlining that we were once so close, nay inseparable, I am appealing to your desire to bring us back to that closeness once again. This also allows you a chance to talk and talk is something you like to do. I let you trot out all the perceived injustices that you have supposedly suffered at my hands. I hear little of it because I know that you are mistaken and this is all based on your incorrect perceptions of me. This time I just have to let it wash over me in order to allow my influence to exert itself over you. I cannot stand to be criticised and inside I am dying but I am taking this blow for the greater good, the greater good of ensuring this precious fuel supply remains intact.
“Just tell me what you need me to do and I will do it,” I trot out next, conning you into thinking that you have some vestige of power and authority over me, when of course you have none. Again in order to serve my own purposes I am content to allow you to think that you can bring some influence to bear over me. Again this will give you a chance to detail all of the changes and remedial behaviours you expect me to engage in. I will nod and make the appropriate noises as you ramble on about the changes you want me to effect. I pluck the lines which I have heard others use on so many occasions to enable me to continue my con. You are suckered by it on every occasion. I know it works and this is why I do it.
“I know we can get through this, nothing’s impossible,” I add as I take your hands and stare into your eyes. Invariably this line secures you giving me yet another chance and your relief eclipses my own as I know that I have you once again. Your joy at not parting provides me with even further fuel and I can allow you a brief golden period by way of reward.
After all, you may as well enjoy it because it is not going to last for long is it?
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- Preventative Hoovers
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Is it typical to go through a phase of just being pissed off by these articles that disclose the abuse? I’ve read them all before but this time around they’re just making me angry. And sick. At narcissists in general, at HG for doing these things, at “my” narcissists. Sorry HG, I believe you know it is only temporary at you, I appreciate you sharing but not lately, lately I don’t want to think it. It is like these things are starting to hit home, that these abuses happen, that they all do them in some form or another. I don’t know what is happening. I hope this dies back down, I don’t even want to read these anymore.
Hi AV, I understand exactly where you are coming from. It is very disturbing when you sit and think about the extent of the lying/abuse and the lengths the narc will go to continue the charade. We don’t want to believe it! I think there is cognitive dissonance that we experience here on this platform with the author of these articles. We see that the content of the articles is helping us tremendously and giving us power so we want to believe the author really cares about the audience. But. in reality the author does not give really care about the well-being of the audience admittedly, because his narcissism won’t allow it. So, this causes cognitive dissonance even here.
I guess the key to remaining somewhat unaffected by this truth is to go back to our understanding of the disorder that our own narcs have and even The Ultra HG who although he is “helping” us tremendously his own narcissism prevents him from empathizing with us and really caring about the audience. Narcissism is mind fuckery at its finest and is a disorder that truly is awful and not wished upon our worst enemies! Especially, for an empath! So, just letting you know I can relate to what you are feeling.
Sorry, HG if I’m way off base about my understanding of cog dissonance here. Correct me please if I’m off track. Not meaning to be disrespectful. Just trying to learn and understand narcissism better.
Hang in AV, this will pass! 🤗
Dearest A Victor,
I believe this is a natural progress of what I interpret as stepping ‘outside the box’ looking in. Surprise shock horror !
It really is ‘abuse’ and it eventually sickens our gut to the very core
How did this happen, why did we put up with it, what could we have done to stop it ?
This insidious conditioning!
Sooooo many questions we really do not need to flagellate or anger ourselves over …….ever!
We can’t fix what is permanently broken, we need to recognise it, acknowledge it, understand it, then move on ….
as sickening as it is.
It’s moments like this, when one pours a glass of wine or or indulges in some chocolate ….. ahhhhhhhh see much better 🍫🥂cheers gorgeous
Your metamorphosis is showing
😂
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Aw Bubbles, thank you! You always say the right things. This is exactly what’s happening, I’m happy for it generally. I will try to stop getting worked up over the questions…:) It is interesting how our it comes in layers though, our understanding, I suppose we couldn’t accept it if it happened too quickly.
“…what is permanently broken…” being the narcissist? Our relationship with them? I suppose both. It is sickening. Yes, the conditioning, not even knowing that much of their behavior toward me was abuse, it is difficult to accept.
Lol, my son bought me a bag of dark chocolate last week, it’s amazing how that can help!!
“Your metamorphosis is showing” 😘💖
Thank you sweet Bubbles!!
Dearest A Victor,
Haha thank you gorgeous….not too sure about that, I have been known on many occasion to put my big foot in it, however thank you so much lovely one, you’re such a sweetie 😊
‘We can’t fix what is permanently broken’ ……yes, I was referring to narcs!
At least we can be stitched back together and healed somewhat, but are left with permanent reminder scars
I think it’s necessary, essential and normal to go thru the roller coaster of emotions when reading Mr Tudor’s works ……it’s all part of the healing process, can be very cathartic for us really …..in the right context that is
The best part has been this blog … to be able to ‘journey’ and relate with others is critical and vital.
It’s unfortunate his frequent ‘absence’ of late leaves one with somewhat disjointed continuity
How sweet your son bought you dark chocolate (my favourite)….so thoughtful!
Better keep them on standby AV 😂
Luv Bubbles xx 😘