I told you I loved you. That was not a lie. I meant it when I said it. I meant it every time that I said it, wrote it, messaged it, voice mailed it, gifted it and e-mailed it. I knew how to portray it. That wasn’t hard. There is so much material available for me to know what to say, how to say it, what to do and how to do it.
I have seen it when it has been directed at me time and time again. All I had to do was mirror it. I have had enough people fall under my spell and love me so that I recognise love when I see it. It became simple enough to replicate it. My intentions really were noble. I wanted to love you and I gave you the love that I knew that you wanted. I did enough to fathom out how you wanted to be loved.
Goodness knows I put in the spadework. I observed you and saw who you interacted with. I followed you to the places you frequented and noted what you ordered most often to eat and to drink. I sat behind you on the bus one time and saw the book that you read. I recognised the author so I went and bought three other of her titles and displayed them at home in readiness to show you and to let you borrow those which you had not read yet.
You were targetted.
I dispatched a Lieutenant to chat you up and gather more information for me to collate and consider. I trawled the internet looking for your footprints. I sat up late as my phone buzzed and pinged with the messages from other prospects that I was cultivating but I made them wait as I searched for you. I found you and using a reliable false profile in the name of a friend of the opposite sex to me I managed to secure your online friendship. I did not approach you directly, despite the cloak of anonymity.
I preferred to walk like a ghost through your cyber world, observing your photographs and establishing the places where they were taken. I noted who your friends were, I highlighted potential competitors and I discerned who your family are. I took in the YouTube postings and when they were timed which told me you enjoyed a few glasses of wine in the evening on your own as you posted musical memories from your teenage years. I walked through your posts and your comments, picking up snippets of information that detailed your devotion to romance, your love of small dogs and your dislike of the cold. Like a silent, vast machine I remained your unseen companion for a month as I sucked up as much information as I could in order to build a picture of you and how you wanted to be loved.
Each meme you posted gave me a clue. Every discussion with your friends added further layers as I created the person that would love you. I uploaded to him your interests and made them his. I bolted on the necessary skill sets which would please you. I furnished him with the choice phrases that you wanted to hear. I configured his actions, expressions, behaviours and more that would make him provide you with the love that you wanted to much and once all of this considerable preparatory work was complete I began my seduction.
You were targetted.
I loved you. I loved you with passion, desire, attentiveness, excitement, mystery and kindness. All created from the morass of information that I had gathered about you which was layered onto my existing experience from previous relationships and my knowledge of how love operates in the world. I know that it worked. You fell for me hook, line and sinker and you became enveloped in my creation where you flourished, you shone and you bloomed. Your happiness radiated from you like sunbeams, the pleasure you took in us being together was tangible and all of those around us commented as such. It was marvellous, spectacular, wonderful and perfect.
You had no idea that my love was a creation. Why would you when not only did it match your concept of love but driven by my excellence it exceeded it? Why would you challenge something that felt so golden and so glorious? You would not. I gave you this love and you returned it. It was a match made in heaven. It was a transaction that suited us both. You received my scintillating synthetic love and you gave me the love that sustains me, that emotion infused reaction which powers and sustains me. We both were winners.
Was it such a bad thing that what I gave you was a fabrication if it looked like the real thing? I might even go so far as to say that it was even better than the real thing. Am I to be regarded as a bad person for this fraudulent act. Is it not the case that my deceit pleased you? Yes, you did not know about this deceit, you had no awareness of the fabrication but that caused you no harm did it? You saw and you believed and seeing is believing surely?
When I took you in my arms, shielding you from the black day that you had emerged from and you looked into my eyes and saw the love, the devotion and the optimism that burned there, did it really matter that I was mirroring what you showed me so long as it made you happy, elated and feel loved? My optimistic eyes were your optimistic eyes.
You were targetted.
When I unleashed my hatred you could not and still do not understand how someone could treat you like that when that person kept saying that he loved you.
It was easy to switch to this vicious malevolence. It was easy to peel back the veneer that was the manufactured love. It was easy to switch off the creation that I made that provided you with this perfect love. A flick of a switch and he ceased to exist, leaving you with something else instead.
I did not lie when I said that I loved you.
I did not lie when I whispered that I loved you.
I did not lie when I shouted that I loved you.
I just did not tell you the truth.
The truth that I never felt love for you.
Because I cannot do that.
Instead you were targetted.
17 thoughts on “Targetted”
If the DM doesn’t like you, then best to go.
Reminds me of a show I have been watching ‘YOU’. Has anyone else watched this on Netflix? I have actually based my Dungeons & Dragons character on Joe the main character. I thought maybe a good way to get into the head of someone like this. I wanted to target NPC’s rather than the other players – I think the DM has other ideas…
I include my background story – if anyone has ideas how to improve 🙂
Name = Jo = Rogue class = changeling race.
I am well-liked at court and have many high-born friends. I also have 3 older step brothers looking out for me = Joe, Lika and Guy.
I am sure the Sargent in charge of the court guards knows what I did. The gold I stole. I see him watching and biding his time so he can trap me.
Countess Annabel and her inner circle are convinced I had something to do with the disappearance of her fiancée Almond. She should be thanking me – not engaging in this ridiculous campaign against me. He was not worthy. Without a body, she will never prove anything. They will never find his body – I took care of that.
My father was violent, downtrodden, and a nobody. When he wasn’t passed out in a stupor – he was beating on us. I remember well the cold and hunger.
On and on my father would go – about how no one would employ him because of his race. For heaven’s sake, we were bloody changeling’s! But oh…good god-faring people did not seek to trick others…
Killing him had been an accident, a pure case of self-defence. It was also the best thing that could have happened to my mother and I.
With father gone, mother was much more amenable to using our God-given talents. Lord Herby (also recently widowed – thanks to me), was not able to resist the beautiful, young and human widow.
I love my new family and vow to protect them from anyone seeking to harm them. My personas were created to do just this. To place them in positions to know all the secrets of court and take care of any threats (in whatever way needed), to my family.
I am a good person – really I am. I believe in love. I am looking for the one who completes me. I thought Almond was the one. I loved him beyond all measure and did everything in my power to be his perfect love.
He like the others turned out to be a charlatan. Unworthy. He had also threatened to destroy my family. I could not in good conscience allow him to do that. Could I? I now think the court is not the place to find my soul mate. I need to look in other places.
Are YOU the one?
Rogue? What edition are you playing?
Hi HG, erm playing standard 5E addition 🙂
My team mates killed off the old cranky dwarf – beard down to the floor – which I was playing. I thought this would be a more fun character 😉
Had to quickly post reply – baby sitting while friends went to halloween party 🙂
Wanted to ask if you had played. I am guessing not the 5E edittion 😉
I usually play female cleric dragonborn but am trying out different race and class. Thought a changeling would be fun. hehehe we will see….
Any tips on the personallity frount will be most welcome.
I played a lot when I was younger. I was the dungeon master.
haha I suspect you made a fantastic DM 😉 I can just imagine the worlds you might create and the puzzles 😉
Thank you, I was exceptional. I still have all of the maps that I created and the various campaign notes. I met up with some of friends recently who used to play in my group and they were trying to persuade me to resurrect the campaign again.
I gave up playing after our Dungeon master, one of my brother’s friends, found a way to kill off my character within 15 minutes of any gamestart. Once it took only 30 seconds, when I walked into a cave and was crushed by a two-ton pile of bat guano.
Me thinks the DM did not like you.
By that point, definitely not.
Previous incidents (he’d been friends with my brother since I was 9, and his sister was in my class) included:
– whacking me on the rear in front of a boy I liked when I was 13;
– agreeing to go to prom when I was 17 and then buggering off without phoning, later to say, “oh, I couldn’t go Down The Shore afterwards, and I didn’t think you’d be interested.” (To be fair, my mother asked if FuckyFace had called, I said he hadn’t, she asked if I was going to call him, I said no, she said, “Maybe he forgot,” and I said, “His sister’s in my class. He didn’t forget.” I sometimes regret not asking my brother about another friend taking me, but I was so disenchanted with school, my mom was more concerned than I was. Used the dress for a wedding reception later.)
– Mocking my sickening-sweet soprano voice and saying I needed to learn to belt, or I’d never be any good. Took two years of singing lessons to undo the damage this advice had done to my vocal chords and my confidence. Turned out I was a lyric soprano with a couple of coloratura notes and had no business belting, ever.
Context? When I liked that boy at 13, FuckyFace apparently liked me. Or at least fancied me, without liking me at all, which can be deadly all by itself.
I had friend-zoned him.
PSCWFF, (I’m probably missing a consonant) I recommend you take HG’s test on the “Weaponised Empath.” It is actually pretty cool.
I also love You.
The actor has recently started offering some “narrative voice” to the fans’ lives. It is fun but of course we all know HG’s voice would be so much superior.
Here’s an example, you need to scroll to the right to hear it:
Just as well I am very boring on line and off 😉
A greater tho would know they could not love – is that right? They would be more deliberate and calculated towards their targets and know from the beginning what the end result would be?
PAWA, that is my understanding.
It’s so sad ☹
I’m realizing as two people close to me struggle to get themselves out of a narcissistic dynamic – that it is so much like watching a drug addict wean themselves off of drugs – they have to WANT to do it and even then it is a constant daily struggle.
I’ve shown these people your work H.G. and they still won’t listen to what I’m trying to tell them… does anyone have any advice on a good approach for victims ? A narcissits intervention if you will ? I can just not get through to these people.
People do not want to accept the word narcissist. They have to hang on to the belief everyone hAs “good” in them
For those of us who are here – working on no Contact every day. Bravo to us ! I’m seeing now That it takes courage and Intelligence to believe the truth when you see it.
Thank you H.G. for all you do
You are welcome.