The House of Tudor

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The House of Tudor

43 thoughts on “The House of Tudor

  1. A Victor says:

    HG, do you have plans for any Geyser merch in the House of Tudor, at some point?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      In due course.

      1. A Victor says:

        Thank you. Yay!

  2. k mac says:

    I dont understand the chicken or banana reference.

    1. Z - zwartbolleke says:

      k mac,
      the chickens and bananas are in reference to Harry’s wife, you can find the explanation early in the Harry’s wife series, maybe by then it was still called A Not so Royal Narcissist.
      It is a sarcastic reference to Harry’s wife.

      1. k mac says:

        Oh lol! Thank you!

    2. Z - zwartbolleke says:

      k Mac,
      here is another reference, it gives you an idea about the time frame also (on YT) search before this date. There were images with chickens as well on YT, and I guess bananas too. So based on images you should be able to find it.

    3. Z - zwartbolleke says:

      Found it!

      The bananas follow in the episodes thereafter

      1. k mac says:

        Thank you z! ๐Ÿ˜Š

    4. Violetta says:

      She was packing lunches for British sex workers and took it upon herself to write encouraging messages, such as “you are strong,” “you are loved,” etc., on fruit, an idea she copied from an elementary school teacher. Why she thought this infantile project would appeal to disillusioned women who have faced God-knows-what is one of the many mysteries explained only by narcissism. She went herself one better by writing some of these messages on bananas, despite the obvious Freudian implications. There are reports that she giggled at that point.

      The chickens are a reference to the rescue chickens she is supposedly helping Archie raise. It’s part of her occasional forays into vegan-tree-hugging-earth-motherism, when she takes time off from making roast chicken as her and Harry’s special meal or wearing leather skirts.

      1. k mac says:

        Oh my goodness Violetta. That’s unbelievable.

        1. Asp Emp says:

          k mac, reading Violetta’s explanation about the bananas reminded me of a narcissist at work – she had baked a banana cake and brought it in. I was absolutely mortified because I saw it as an implied ‘you are monkeys and I puppet you’ and at the same time basically telling us we are ‘beneath’ her (grandiosity, better than us etc). No-one ate any of the cake and it was left to ‘fester’ over the closed-for-xmas-break. Someone even had a piece in a drawer months later and I said something like ‘I think it’s past it’…….I did get one over her at a later stage (using official ‘routes’, of course) ๐Ÿ™‚

        2. Witch says:

          Itโ€™s beyond me that no one said to herโ€ฆ
          โ€œMegs, babes writing โ€œyou are lovedโ€ on something as phallic as a banana and giving it to a sex worker is not giving what you think itโ€™s giving, alright? Yeah!โ€

  3. Joa says:

    I’m disappointed. There are neither vibrators nor perfumes in the assortment ๐Ÿ™‚

    Sorry, I had to, ha ha ha ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. k mac says:

      Oh my ๐Ÿคญ . I was gonna ask if the clothing was spritz with his cologne.

      1. Violetta says:

        The scent of Creed Viking….oooh.

        I’d want a sweatshirt, or better yet, a tote-bag. A t-shirt needs to be washed too frequently.

        1. k mac says:

          Ok so it’s viking. I was wondering Violetta.

          1. jasmin says:

            I’ve read Creed Aventus somewhere, but maybe he varies?

        2. Joa says:

          Eeeee, what do I need men’s cologne for? I was thinking about feminine fragrances, for us from HG ๐Ÿ™‚

          And 30% of women would wear one of HG’s favorite fragrances. Marked ๐Ÿ™‚ On the street, we would recognize each other by the smell, ha ha ha, this is Carrier, this is Geyser, this is Magnet, and this is the Savior – and also mixtures, ha ha ha ๐Ÿ™‚


          Oh me, I just remembered, that I had such an erotic dream once. Only with men. I was pouring their out of small packets of powder, like jelly. You chose one of the many sachets with a drawn man and his name, you opened it and poured it out, and this man was emerging from the dust cloud, ready for action, ha ha ha ๐Ÿ™‚ It was an unforgettable dream. Of course, I had to fall in love with one man and only poureds this one out of the packet, and then I would buy all the packages, so that it would belong only to me.
          What a hopelessness, even in an erotic dream, always these feelings ๐Ÿ™‚

          1. k mac says:

            I love that idea Joa! He could pick a scent he thinks each type of empath would like to wear. We can tell him if he’s right. Fun!

          2. A Victor says:

            Oh dear K Mac, rookie mistake, we don’t tell him if he’s right, he tells us what is right. I hope this is in time to save you from the dungeon…๐Ÿ˜ฌ

          3. Truthseeker6157 says:


            Just imagining HGโ€™s jelly packet.


            A sudden swirling tornado of grey gold and black.
            A strange cacophony of voices yet you canโ€™t quite make out what they are trying to say.
            The sound of beating wings lost within the howl of a storm.
            Then, through the swirling maelstrom, a tall form starts to become visible.
            Dark suit, impeccably fitted.
            The tornado slows and falls away into the ground.
            The figure raises his arm and slowly pulls his fingers through his short blond hair.
            HG gradually turns to look at you as you whisper breathlesslyโ€ฆ

            โ€œFfs Amazon, I ordered WITHOUT mask.โ€

          4. WhoCares says:

            “The figure raises his arm and slowly pulls his fingers through his short blond hair.
            HG gradually turns to look at you as you whisper breathlesslyโ€ฆ

            โ€œFfs Amazon, I ordered WITHOUT mask.โ€”

            Hahaha TS, that was perfect!

          5. Joa says:

            K Mac,

            the idea of โ€‹โ€‹describing people by HG through the smell of course quite utopian, each person is an individuality, but this thought also made me laugh ๐Ÿ™‚

            But, I would definitely be interested in the smells.

          6. Joa says:

            TS, you made me laugh ๐Ÿ˜€

            You have graded the tension so beautifully and you spoiled the ending, ha ha ha ๐Ÿ™‚ I will stop in “silence” and before falling asleep I will lead the rest of this thread in my own way, ha ha ha ๐Ÿ™‚

            Although not. “My blindworm” is safer. At least I know him and more or less know what to expect.

          7. Truthseeker6157 says:


            Haha! Nothing wrong with changing the ending!

            I was listening to one of the Harryโ€™s Wife videos the other night. In it, HG comments that he isnโ€™t always in a suit. I pondered this revelation for a moment and thought, โ€œWell you are always in a suit in my fantasy reel!โ€ Haha!

            Thereโ€™s definitely something about a man in a perfectly fitted suit. Mmmm. You can keep the tanned, bare chested, half clothed images, Iโ€™d select suit, every time.

            I dread to think what that says about me!


          8. A Victor says:

            Hmmm, are we thinking Santa suit this time of year…? ๐Ÿ˜‚

          9. Joa says:

            TS, everyone has their own fetishes ๐Ÿ™‚

            At least we wouldn’t argue: you take the suits, so sweatpants and T-shirts remain for me. Cool, easier access! ๐Ÿ™‚

            This blog is starting to resemble my workplace ๐Ÿ˜€
            Very often in this way we release maximum stress. The effect of relaxation is immediate.

    2. Z - zwartbolleke says:

      Joa, be careful what you wish for ๐Ÿ˜‰

      1. Joa says:

        Ha ha ha ๐Ÿ™‚ Believe me Z, I refrained from writing everything, that I thought about ๐Ÿ™‚ I already have the whole campaign in my head with advertising slogans, ha ha ha ๐Ÿ™‚

    3. Witch says:


      ๐Ÿคฃ I had a flash back to when I bought my friend a vibrator for her birthday
      She said it was the best gift ever 10/10

      1. Joa says:

        A very good friend! ๐Ÿ™‚

        I also received from my best friend ๐Ÿ™‚ A very practical and useful gift.

        But the industry has grown a lot since then. Goods of this kind are now very aesthetically made, wonderful colors and much better material. Some are downright exclusive, heh ๐Ÿ™‚

        1. Asp Emp says:

          Joa, some of your comments are REALLY colourful ๐Ÿ˜‰ thank you for aiding to stretch the imagination (LOL) ๐Ÿ™‚

          1. Joa says:

            Asp Emp,

            pssst, if I were among my real friends, I would probably answer, that it is much better than a traditional cucumber, ha ha ha ๐Ÿ™‚

            I once read a study of how women fared before the invention of “toys”. I have to admit that they were VERY creative ๐Ÿ™‚

          2. Asp Emp says:

            Joa, laughing……I totally understand ๐Ÿ™‚ Cats have a ‘thing’ for cucumbers ๐Ÿ˜‰ I am sure that there were some ‘creativity’ RE: ‘toys’, LOL.

          3. A Victor says:

            Hahaha, it’s hilarious there’s even been such a study!! This conversation is great!!๐Ÿคฃ

          4. Joa says:

            It was a serious study written by one of the famous Polish sexologists. About women, married women, mothers and virgins who lived essentially without men during the war (I and II World War) and the interwar period. When the male population declined significantly, and thousands of living men emigrated for many years to find bread, to support their families.

            Although, I must admit that my great-grandfather went to work in Westphalia for 10 years, but with my great-grandmother they managed to “managed” 8 children ๐Ÿ™‚

          5. Asp Emp says:

            Joa, thank you for sharing that information. How interesting.

            I, also, did some “further” reading myself. In doing so, there were some interesting information that came to light, and, some images. “Women’s hysteria”, my arse. I’ll say no more ๐Ÿ˜‰

        2. k mac says:

          I have never used any toys. Maybe it’s time I try some out. ๐Ÿค”

          1. Joa says:

            If it helps relieve tension, especially during ovulation, why not?

            It’s more of a need than a game. Fast and fun ๐Ÿ™‚

            But there is one minus, you have to make a choice:
            1. physical gratification and relief
            2. wonderful erotic dreams
            One excludes the other ๐Ÿ™‚

          2. Asp Emp says:


          3. JB says:

            New year’s resolution, K mac? ๐Ÿ˜‚

          4. Witch says:

            @ k Mac

            Treat yourself!
            A โ€œbad dragonโ€ dildo is on my wish list because I want to know what itโ€™s like to have sex with an alien ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

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