The Perfect Ten of Seduction




The Perfect Ten Sentences of Seduction

What is really meant when we say these words.

1. I love you and I always have

My need to seduce you is considerable and therefore I will use language which will appeal to you and be so outlandish that it will blow you away. I do not actually love you. I do not love in the way that you do. I understand that the closest I come to it is infatuation. I am not in fact infatuated with you but more precisely with what you can do for me. My needs are paramount. Yours are largely irrelevant. I write irrelevant because I do take them into account during the seduction but after that they are thrown to one side. I love the fact you fuel me, allow me to steal traits of your for my own use and you give me shelter, meals and money.

2. We are soulmates

I know you are a big believer in emotional concepts such as love, spirituality and the soul. I need to tap into that and I need to do so quickly. I want to suggest that our love goes beyond this earthly plane on which we stand and it is something all the more ethereal and noble. That ought to impress you and cause you to become bound to me. I am not your soul mate, I am here to steal your soul because I do not have one.

3. I have not loved anyone like this before

There will be half a dozen willing witnesses who will testify to the contrary. In my world however I have deleted them from my mind (except when I fancy hoovering them and triangulating them with you for some extra fuel)  and there was nothing like what I feel for you now. They are defunct and redundant, an unfortunate reminder of an abuser who trapped me. They do not matter now, you are all that matters to me now, your fuel, to be accurate, is all that matters to me now.

4. I want us to be together forever

There is no want about it. We are already locked together forever. You may not think this and indeed somewhere along the line you will want to escape me, although quite why that is when you are the problem, is beyond me. Anyway, that is for later. Right now you have agreed (although you will never recall having said such words to that effect) to remain my property for the rest of your life. This means that everything you own, have and are now belongs to me and I will deal with it in whatever fashion I see fit. I will use and abuse you over and over again as this is my right. Just when you think I have disappeared I will be back more. This is a life-long covenant.

5. We have so much in common

What a wonderful occurrence, such serendipity that everything you like I like as well. Even better, all the things that you do not like, I do not like either. It as if we are two halves of one perfect person. That is exactly what I see because all I will do is mirror you. I have spent time watching you, observing you, finding out about you from friends and scouring your internet footprint in order to learn as much as I can about you so that I can present myself as mirror image. I actually cannot stand listening to Coldplay but that isn’t going to stand in the way of my replication so I seduce you with incredible speed and ease.

6. I hate it when we are apart

A rare nugget of truth here. I do hate it when we are apart but for the reasons I have made you think. You think it is because I miss the wonderful, kind, humorous and delightful you. I actually miss all that positive fuel you supply me with when we are together as you are taken in by this illusion that I have created. Moreover I hate the fact that when I am not with you I cannot control your environment and I am concerned that with space to think and breathe you may just see through what I am doing or even worse, you may listen to one of your so-called friends who will be whispering in your ear and briefing against me. I don’t want your head turned elsewhere. I want it looking at me. Always.

7. Nobody can love you the way I do.

Amazingly another piece of truth. Nobody else can love you in this way because none of it is real. This is all made-up in order to attract you and bind you to me because if you saw what I was really like (not that I would ever allow that to happen) you would run screaming and never return. Accordingly, I will love you in a way that you are unlikely to have experienced before by deluging you with desire and then nearly destroying you through malice and vitriolic hatred. Told you I was special.

8. I can’t believe we have only just met. I feel like I’ve known you forever. Let’s live together.

It feels familiar to me because you are giving me positive fuel just like your predecessor and the one before her and the one before her as well. I do not distinguish between you, not really, because you are all appliances to me which I want to ensnare and then drain as you pump out delicious fuel for me to consume. I say this though to make you feel special and because I am obviously so wonderful and brilliant you will be thrilled that someone like me wants to live with you. This will make you grab this marvellous opportunity before you lose it and then I have ensnared you.

9. I need you. I want you. I love you.

Sounds dramatic and romantic doesn’t it? Makes you feel as if everything is focussed on you and I could not live without you. Notice how many times I used the word “I”? That’s because this is all about me and nothing to do with you save for what you can do for me. I really mean that I need your fuel, I want your fuel and I love your fuel.

10. You have saved me.

Yet more drama straight from the romantic handbook. I know your type. That is why I chose you. You like to fix, heal and save. You will have plenty to do in that regard, believe me, but that will come later. For now what I really mean is that you have saved me having to look anywhere else for fuel. Time to feed.

80 thoughts on “The Perfect Ten of Seduction

  1. Asp Emp says:

    Effectively, it could be suggested that people who experience loss, especially at a young age AND are subject to narcissistic abuse actually experience two ‘types’ of emotional thinking. One being PTSD and the other being CPTSD but the two can become totally and utterly ‘meshed’ together.

  2. BC30 says:

    “I’ve missed you so.” That is how he convinced me to come back around and see him one more time.

  3. k mac says:

    He did not say he loved me and I’m ok with that. I know I didn’t love him either. Infatuated, yes. Addicted, definitely. Trauma bonded, absolutely. I wonder if It would have been easier if I had loved him? I mean, love fades Trauma bonds are forever.

    1. Joa says:

      It would be harder. I still “love” even though I don’t like him.

      The addiction is probably on the same level.

      1. k mac says:

        I think it’s actually changed my brain wiring like heroin.

        1. A Victor says:

          K Mac, the addiction does change our brain chemistry. I could literally feel myself as it went up and as it crashed back down with the summer narc. I believe it was distinctive because it happened so fast, I lost 15 pounds, I didn’t need sleep, I was on a high for basically 3 months. When I ended it, there was such an abrupt crash that there was no denying it, my brain chemicals were all behind it. I thought it was the normal effects of “falling in love” but I knew full well I was never in love with him. So, learning about the addiction was quite the eye opener. Now, if I start to feel that way with someone, I am very very cautious.

        2. FYC says:

          Psychological research does indicate that changes take place in the brain as a response to trauma, and again as triggered by PTSD/CPTSD. However, once the inciting cause is removed, these changes can be healed/overcome. HG notes the addiction to the dynamic with the N perpetuates these changes. I believe he is absolutely correct. One must be ever aware of the addiction to the dynamic and actively avoid engaging or we can inadvertently feed the trauma response. Any recurring thought or behavior increases the aptitude of the brain to automatically perform the same function in the future. Therefore, a concerted effort must be made to break these cycles of thought and behavior. Changing your thoughts changes your beliefs. Changing your beliefs changes your feelings and actions. I highly recommend Zero Impact and the Addiction packages for an excellent starting point.

          1. Asp Emp says:

            FYC, thank you for sharing the information. I can now ‘see’ the difference within myself as a result of traumas and the ‘re-programming’. There are some people that will never get the opportunity to learn, or experience the process of brain ‘re-training’ because either they are not aware of it as such being available, or they have not found the right ‘tools’ to do so, or will not ‘see’ it. Once that ‘seed’ is planted, it has the ‘aptitude’ to grow, if a ‘trained’ person permits it to re-establish, the ‘cycle’ can start again. However, I know that I have learned and now understand enough that I would not get in the same place as I was. CPTSD is still quite ‘new’ to the medical system and I did not know about it until I came here. FYC, good to read what you have to say, thank you.

          2. k mac says:

            That a great point FYC. I think he may have trigger past trauma I had hidden away. My relationship with him caused a volcanic eruption of garbage!

    2. A Victor says:

      Hi K Mac,

      Are trauma bonds forever? I don’t know much about them, I’ve only heard the term since being here. I do know that I was traumatized enough that for 9 years after my ex left, I was fine living life with the full expectation and intent of never dating again. But, once that left, I don’t feel traumatized any more, I mean apart from the narcs that have been in my life, and absolutely no bond to him either, from my side. He’s never reached out, I’d probably cut his hand off if he did. Not really, but it would never fly. But, it did take years and I still didn’t understand what had happened, until I arrived here. It was very reassuring, realizing that not all humans have the ability to walk away and never look back, I can choose better and hopefully have a better outcome. Maybe if trauma bonds are forever, they can lessen enough to be essentially a non issue?

      I did love him, very much. I still wish the best for him, whatever that might be, as long as he stays absolutely away from me. I’m not sure I can or should reconcile the love and the trauma. Sadly, I’d probably say that the constant chaos, abuse and drama was what I needed in order to feel love, since there was nothing of substance in the relationship. Realizing how empty that relationship actually was had helped me release it and put it where it should be…I got some amazing kids out of it…learned some lessons…that’s it, like a box in the attic that I never pull out, a very small box also.

      Thanks for giving me a place to think these things through. I appreciated reading your comment.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Trauma bonds are part of the manifestation of the addiction and appropriate reduction of emotional thinking will remove the effect of the trauma bond.

        1. A Victor says:

          Oh thank you HG! That is so good to know!

          1. HG Tudor says:

            You’re welcome.

          2. Alexissmith2016 says:

            I can vouch for that AV. I was no contact with mine for a while and did reengage non intimately after a period of NC. At that time I still had feelings for him. But I can honestly say I have absolutely none for him any more the addiction/trauma bond has completely gone and I only see him as the truly pathetic individual he is.

            It did take time to get to that level though. You will get there too AV xx

          3. A Victor says:

            Thank you Alexissmith! I do see him as pathetic and I don’t feel anything for him, only wish him well as a human. But I do have sort of a morbid fascination with him still, in the sense that I still can’t get my head around someone leaving their life, their family. It’s amazing to me, in a bad way of course. Some days are better than others, and it has become much better since being here.

          4. A Victor says:

            Thank you for the encouragement AS!

        2. k mac says:

          Watching the narcissistic dynamic unfold on the last episode of euphoria between Maddy, Cassie and Nate has me so fucking mad. I don’t wanna even hear the word narcissist anymore.

          1. Joa says:

            K Mac, I don’t watch the show, but I really like Tove Lo new song “How Long” 😊
            She charmed me for a while 😊

          2. k mac says:

            Joa, you are not missing much. It’s total smut. I’m pretty sure I’m losing brain cells with every episode. I like to watch mindless crap while I’m trying to go to sleep.
            It definitely depicts the narcissist narrative. It goes through a father, his father and now son that are all narcissist. It’s plays out the narcissist dynamic between the son and 2 females that entangled with him. I think one of the girls may even be a narcissist too. It also has a tremendous about of unnecessary dick nudity 🤣

          3. k mac says:

            Joa, I’ll have to give that song a listen. 😊

      2. k mac says:

        AV, I totally understand. My trauma bond to him feels like a pain I still carry that only he can make go away. I have never done drugs but from what I’ve observed it’s similar. I will be an addict for life. But time under my belt definitely helps. I don’t want him anymore but I still want that feeling.

        1. A Victor says:

          Oh yes! That’s the addiction to narcissists, all of them! That’s why the summer narc was so successful at pulling me in. Now, understanding that, I do have a fighting chance at avoiding it going forward.

  4. k mac says:

    I never heard any of those from him.

    1. Truthseeker6157 says:


      Me either, I don’t think I’ve heard any of those from anyone I’ve dated. It might depend on how romantic you are. If those things wouldn’t resonate, maybe the narcissism adapts and selects an alternative.

      I remember the night where the online narcissist switched in my mind from being, just someone I chatted with at the end of the day, to someone I felt real warmth for. It was almost like a magic key was used to undo a lock, and that was that.

      I’d had a bad day. I hadn’t said anything at all about it, but my tone betrays me. We chatted a while, went offline and about an hour or so later an audio file arrived.

      It was the narc, but he put on this really posh accent, perfectly executed. He said,

      “ Please repeat the following phrase, but get faster, every time.
      Red lorry
      Yellow lorry
      Red lorry
      Yellow lorry”

      It was so ridiculous, the posh accent with such a silly tongue twister, I laughed out loud.

      That was the line that caught me. I now recognise that humour rather than romance, is my Achilles heel.


      1. Joa says:

        TS, it’s the same for me.

        But when I’m ensnared, some serenades begin. And when I want to escape 🙂

        1. Truthseeker6157 says:


          We are very similar I think and with similar hooks. I read another of your comments earlier, on ‘Just the way it is’ where you mentioned your narc suggesting you were going through menopause and it just made you laugh. I totally see why.

          Humour is a real hook for me but I would describe negative marketing as another weakness of mine. The menopause comment I would put under the heading of negative marketing.

          I tease people and it’s actually a way of showing affection. If I don’t like or am unsure of a person I won’t tease. So if a guy teases me in some way, then I feel at ease, I don’t take the teasing personally. The upside of that is that it probably means we are self assured, happy in our own skin and therefore reasonably tough to get at. Tie that to a reluctance to accept compliments and it makes me even tougher to get at. So looking positively there are a few natural advantages that make me reasonably narc repellant.

          The downside though, is if a narc was relaxed, self confident, didn’t try too hard and just made me laugh, teased me a little and left me uncertain as to whether he liked me or not, then my defences would definitely be lowered. I do like the chase as opposed to being chased. I view you as being very similar.

          With a normal or an empath, none of this really poses a problem but with the right kind of narcissist, in some ways, it would take less effort to draw us in, at least at the start.

          Once you are ensnared the serenades do begin, partly their seduction, partly your addiction (or mine) It’s a very heady cocktail.

          I still have that audio file, after all this time. I got rid of everything else, every file, image, text, but not that. In many ways it’s irrelevant, I can hear that message without listening to it, it’s burned into my mind. That’s because, I’m hard to get at, but when I’m in, I’m in, and for a time, I really was.

          What I can say, is that now that the switch has been flicked and I do see him for exactly what he is, I am far far happier. I view him as someone who was never there to be had, never there to begin with, someone who was just out for himself.

          I feel strong now, clear headed, healthy. I feel like me again.


          1. k mac says:

            Happy for you Truthseeker ❤

          2. Joa says:

            TS, I am well aware of when someone intends to offend, hurt or humiliate me. Such remarks are commonplace at work. I answer the same.

            It’s like competition, who will aim more precisely, faster and by surprise. Who will come closer sooner.
            A quick riposte is the best defense and transfer. Sometimes I ignore it without fuel, when I have more important things to discuss.

            What you wrote about teasing and ease – as if you were reading me. Teasing, as a way of showing affection – yes. Aversion to compliments – same.

            Yes, right to the point – I like to chase! Possibly alternating: chase – escape, escape – chase, sudden change of action. I like to tease. And I like being dominant as well as being submissive. And this can change many times throughout the day.

            It seems to me that I have never lost myself. Regardless of whether I am at the peak of emotions or at the bottom of the ocean.

            It also seems to me that I will never be able to recover from addiction.

            Too much N. around. Too many ropes that I break and then tie myself.

            Too much N. in me. And it must be so if I am to survive in this male world.


            It was an extraordinary statement by TS. Once again, so many similarities.

          3. Truthseeker6157 says:


            Haha, I know what you mean about things feeling like a competition, the back and forth, who lands the shot. I have a smart mouth sometimes, too. Not always, sometimes I come up with the witty remark or pithy put down after the event, but if I’m on my game I enjoy the verbal clash of swords too 😉

            It is part of the addiction. Only the narcissists continue the back and forth I think. A normal might make one or two comments but it’s the narcissist that keeps going. They do make us flex the empathic traits, but I’m coming to realise I like to flex the narcissistic ones too from time to time.

            To do this too often though, day after day, over a prolonged period has to take its toll. I think it loses its sparkle too. What once was exciting and provided a buzz loses its lustre over time. Then we recognise we were more fatigued by it than we realised we were.

            In contrast, I have recently found myself an empath friend. Just a friend, nothing more. He feels entirely different to a narcissist. I know you have mentioned previously that you feel a non narc won’t hit the mark for you, I’m not sure that’s the case. Empaths still provide a buzz, just for different reasons.

            If my ET was still high, my addiction still screaming to be fed, I wouldn’t have noticed this person necessarily. I’d have missed out on a really fun friendship. That’s my concern for you I think, that romantically, the right person might appear and you won’t notice, because your addiction will block him out. We can’t see past narcissists at all. They completely block our view.

            You are exceptionally strong I think Joa, which is why you think you can handle it. You take the downs because you know you’ll always pull back up. I believe you. In some ways I like the intensity of feeling that comes with the downs too. Saying that though, now that my ET has fallen, I would choose my clarity above all else. It’s not an easy detox, no matter which school and cadre and no matter how strong you are. I felt worse during detox than I did during the lows, but you do come out of it and it is worth it. Never believe that the addiction has you in its grasp for ever because it doesn’t, we can manage it and without feeling it’s a constant battle. Xx

            The narcs being all around you is a problem. The fact you draw them to you so strongly is difficult too. Here we are different, I don’t seem to draw narcs to me at all. Maybe it’s that smart mouth, who knows?

            The ‘ too much N in me ‘is a strength. Honestly, that side of you is the side that will help you beat your addiction, you just need to access the right narcy traits and point them in the right direction.

            You have been here longer now, you understand a lot about the dynamic with the narcissist. I think a chat with HG would be of real benefit at this point. His way of looking at things is very different to ours. He’ll set you off thinking in a different way.

            Consider treating yourself, there’s nothing to lose and a lot to gain. If nothing else, you’ll have a lovely time haha! There are narcs, then there’s HG, an entirely different ball game. All your traits will light up, which you’ll love, but this time the narcissist will be in your corner rather than draining you down.

            Just have a think about it.


      2. JB says:

        Me too, TS. I actually think if someone went ott on the romance front with me, I would be automatically suspicious; humour is far more likely to attract my interest! Xx

        1. Truthseeker6157 says:


          Sorry, I missed your comment earlier. I think there’s an element of the fact that humour feels non threatening. No one is making assumptions or demands, the pressure is off so I can relax and just enjoy the conversation.

          Even later, I like romantic gestures like the next person, but not every day, I’d just get suspicious like you. I’d rather someone set a candle lit bubble bath for me when I’ve had a bad day, than show up with roses and jewellery on my birthday.


      3. k mac says:

        That is cute Truthseeker.

        1. Truthseeker6157 says:

          K Mac,

          Yeah, at the time, it was cute.


      4. alexissmith2016 says:

        interesting how we’re attracted to accents. I love a south London accent, no idea why? less attracted to a posh one, but if he had naughty eyes I could still be swayed hahaha

        1. Truthseeker6157 says:


          Yeah. His accent did draw me. I was away from home at the time it started, his accent reminded me of home. Northern accent.

          The posh accent on the tongue twister just made me laugh because what he was saying was so stupid. I like dumbassery sometimes. Ok, I like it a lot, haha!

          Eyes, yes, I don’t go for mischief necessarily, more, depth I think. Haha anything else we’d like while we’re at it?! Since you asked, yes! Height. They have to be comfortably clearing 6ft.

          1. alexissmith2016 says:

            Mmm yes a nice tall man! But still comes second to naughty eyes though. I love mischief! Probably because I’m such an angel myself so I’m attracted to the naughty type hahaha

            I was trying to think of other celebrities with naughty eyes. I could only think of Robbie Williams (sorry HG, I know you’re lot a fan). There must be others but. I can’t think of any, male or female.

          2. alexissmith2016 says:

            TS did you watch ‘The Secret’ with JN? a true story about a man and his lover who murdered their husband snd wife. An N of course, amazing how long they got away with it for too. Shocking awful story but very good drama.

          3. alexissmith2016 says:

            God I want to have sex with James hahaha

          4. A Victor says:

            Haha, nowadays, if I know they’re a narc, I think “Pick me for your self pleasuring!”…only if they’re hot enough…I do have standards…😂

          5. A Victor says:

            Please forgive me for this crude comment. HG’s explanations of how narcissists view and use sex has taken most, if not all, of the desire with them out of it for me. If I do consider it at all, this is literally what pops into my mind and the thought is very short lived.

          6. alexissmith2016 says:

            I totally understand what you mean AV. I’m a massive flirt and I struggled with flirting with an N for a while. But it passed I think because most of them have no idea so they think they fancy you even if it is just about control. Allows me to be myself but quite safely. Especially as you say that is at the back of our minds.

          7. A Victor says:

            Thanks for understanding Alexissmith, I can see that you really do.

          8. Truthseeker6157 says:


            You’re cracking me up! mischievous eyes I think I’d suggest Lee Mac. Have you seen him? I honestly can’t think of a female example as yet. Roisin Conaty possibly. That could be because I just like her though!

            Daniel Craig can do depth but he also does blank a lot too. I’d say Hugh Dancy has the most depth to his eyes. It’s funny, I do go for eyes a lot too. They might not be super attractive, but if the depth is there, then I’ll notice them.

            Agree on Robbie, though he is too obvious overall. Too manufactured. I do see what you’re driving at with James haha!

            I’m not sure a narcissist could pull off depth. It’s based on sincerity, which is absent. I think he could do mischief or naughty though, watch your back Alexis!

            I haven’t seen ‘the secret’ but I’m due a binge watch so I’ll look it up. Did you ever watch Afterlife? I bawled my eyes out at that. I’m not a Ricky Gervais fan ordinarily but he was good in that. Actually, Ricky has mischievous eyes too I think. Does he? Haha!


          9. lickemtomorrow says:

            Oh no, I have to come to my lover’s rescue 😉

            How can you say that about Daniel? xox

            He necessarily must bring his ‘poker face’ when confronting evil. He’s also got some great one liners, TS <3 Lots to love about Daniel Craig, at least in the movies.

            Not least are his sensational blue eyes … OMG, no one else has eyes like Daniel Craig. They are the most stunning shade of blue I have ever seen and I've not seen eyes like that on anyone else. They can be hard to read. as in the blue eyes can have a 'glassy' affect, much like the waters as you seek to see what you can find in them. In fact, I find them mesmerizing. Every time I see them I am caught out in that moment.

            Eyes are definitely my thing, but right now I've only got eyes for Daniel <3

          10. Asp Emp says:

            Oh, LET, you big soft, cuddly teddy bear 😉 Daniel would like that about you 🙂 x

          11. lickemtomorrow says:

            AspEmp <3 You say the sweetest things xox

            Thank you 🙂

          12. Asp Emp says:

            LET, thank you for that. Hugs back to you xx

          13. alexissmith2016 says:

            Oooh I agree on Rosalin! She’s great! Yes love ‘after life’ it’s so good, so sad. RG has to be an N. HG doesn’t like him so I presume mid range lol. But he does appear to have some degree of awareness though. I rather enjoy many of the sit-coms he’s been in and I do find his stand up quite funny too. Sorry HG. Lee Mack is hilarious! Love him. Hmmm I’ll take another look at his eyes. Loved ‘Almas not normal’ have you seen this? It’s also based on a true story.

          14. Truthseeker6157 says:


            I did think when I mentioned Daniel, “Oh no, I’m in for it now!” Haha!

            Yes, he has some great one liners, he does wear a suit very well, that’s important too.

            I’m trying LET, I am 😂

            Do we know if he’s a narc?


          15. lickemtomorrow says:

            Haha, TS, you knew I had to bite once you dropped that juicy line into the water 😉

            It’s how he delivers the lines. I’ve watched “No Time To Die” three times now (call me obsessed – only the first time at the cinema) and Daniel has that unique and perfect timing when delivering those one liners which not everyone could pull off and make convincing. That’s a part of him I thought you could enjoy <3

            Ooohhh, the suit/s. Yes. Verrry sexy, but so is every man in a suit. Uniforms are even better. Don't get me wrong, I do appreciate him in a suit, but I'd literally appreciate him in anything (or nothing at all 😛 )

            Good to know you are trying, TS 🙂 Don't try too hard … not willing to share xox

            I know if he's a narc, but can't divulge without HG's permission x I'd find him hot either way, but the dream about the dishes in the dishwasher had me wondering …

          16. Truthseeker6157 says:


            Haha, I’m with you 😉

            I watched No Time To Die on Christmas Day evening, full up with food and a fair amount of wine. I have to say I did enjoy it. Bond was more human in this film, which I quite liked. Totally with you on suits and uniforms. Apart from traffic wardens! The one liners, I see where you’re coming from there too. Understated, he’s quite understated for a Bond, again that worked for me.

            I could be persuaded LET. Particularly if he throws in the car too. 😂

            I wonder who’ll be the next Bond ? Jamie Dornan is in the running but he’s a little baby faced. Not man enough. I think Idris Elba would make a good Bond. He does grit very well, depends where they want the character to go. Idris is a Narc though, 90% sure. Reputation for being an arse, talks down to people, full of himself. Cavill also in the running. Not sure, possibly, one liners would be his problem I think. I think Idris, unless there’s someone else I’ve forgotten.

            Poor Daniel. He only just got blown up and we’re discussing his replacement. Ok, I am, hahaha!


          17. lickemtomorrow says:

            TS, what a way to spend Christmas Day 🙂

            LOL to Bond throwing in the car 😛 Seeing how you could be persuaded, I’ll have to make sure that doesn’t happen 😉 Besides, what car ever survived the Bond treatment? Haha!

            OK, Bond (spoiler alert) got blown up and so there is no future for the franchise in terms of bringing Bond back to life. NADA. You can’t resurrect a character who was just blown to pieces 🙁 And Daniel won’t be back, so in that sense it won’t affect me either way. But, I’ve no doubt they were leading to, or leaning towards, replacing him with the replacement female 007 in the film, actress Lashana Lynch. Since Hollywood is as woke as it gets these day – no harm to her acting abilities which I thought were great – I can imagine they were softening Bond fans up for this possibility. In that sense, it is a moot point to consider men who might play the role. Bond is dead. Daniel buried him.

            My only thought was they could start creating the prequels, like they do with so many other franchises and which was also suggested by Tom Holland who is hot property at the moment. He could play a young Bond at Eton and show the lead up to how Bond became 007. That would make sense to me. I don’t think people will accept a female Agent 007 and would expect that idea to flop on the big screen. I’ve seen some people suggest to create new characters and stories allied to Bond, who most people believe can’t be replaced. It frustrates me to see how they continue to try and reinterpret things with no basis in reality, such as formulating characters to suit an agenda.

            One of my favourite moments in the movie was where Bond gets to counteract his female counterpart after she asks him if it bothers him that she is now Agent 007. When ‘M’ calls him into a meeting and she is told to wait outside, he says “Does that bother you?” Classic one liner delivered perfectly!

            If it was possible to resurrect Bond, who would I pick? Jamie Dornan would not be my guy, and sex scenes are all but out for now so Fifty Shades won’t help him there, and I’ve not watched The Witcher, so have no concept of Henry Cavill in terms of how he would play the part. I think we should stay in the tradition of a white male as Bond, so Idris Elba is also out for me. We don’t want him to be too good looking, we do want him to be ruggedly handsome. Maybe Tom Hardy?

            Haha, TS, not sounding very grief stricken, are we? xox

          18. Asp Emp says:

            LET, interesting (but not surprising) that Tom Hardy would be your choice for Bond and I can see / understand why.

          19. lickemtomorrow says:

            AspEmp, I went to the IMDb list of possible replacements and he was on their list of 20! I had trouble coming up with even one actor I felt could replace Daniel (who in my mind is irreplaceable), so had to rely on the ‘word’ that was already out there 😉 Tom Hardy was the only one I could envision as a replacement if the choice had to be made <3

          20. Asp Emp says:

            LET, in some way, Tom Hardy in ‘Venom’ reminds me of Jason Statham in ‘Crank’ and ‘The Transporter’ films. It will be interesting who gets selected as the next Bond – I had a look at the list just now. 🙂

          21. Truthseeker6157 says:

            LET, haha, no not exactly grief stricken. Call ourselves empaths?!

            Tom Hardy, I had to look him up, but, really good choice. He has the right look about him. Not classically attractive in a suave way, more rugged, he makes a lot of sense for a Bond.

            I loved that one liner, it got an ‘Ooh yes James’ from me ! ( laughing at myself now, bad sign!) Daniel does do that very well indeed.

            I thought the same, we were being lined up for a female Bond. Thankfully Barbara Broccoli has more sense and fiercely guards the original character. She has said words to the effect of, “Bond is a male character, if you want a female spy character, go ahead and create one.” I like Barbara, she stands her ground.

            I laughed at your NADA comment. I must admit, in many ways, I think I would end it on a high. Leave that as the last film, it’s such a cash cow though, that there is certain to be a work around. I’m not big on prequels and reboots. Doctor Who should never be a woman either. The Doctor should be male, non relatable. The best Doctor was the one with the wild hair and striped scarf. Odd, the Doctor should be odd.

            The Matrix is another. Great film, but the new Matrix is rumoured to be awful, which is a real shame. Leave well alone and create new material would be my view.

            I think I still see Idris Elba as the new 007, 008, whatever they’re going to do. Just a feeling when I saw him in the running. I’d like a non narc but then perhaps the character itself is the perfect representation of a narcissist.


          22. lickemtomorrow says:

            LOL, TS, call ourselves empaths indeed 😛 How narcy do we sound?! Dog eat dog.

            Glad you like Tom Hardy (picked him from a list of 20 on IMDb 😛 ), and glad you loved that one liner, too. I picked up on them more after watching the movie again, and it’s a sense of humour I can relate to which is probably why I enjoy it as well. Very witty 🙂

            I have no idea if Barbara Broccoli could be persuaded, in spite of her protestations, so only time will tell. Good to know you think she will stand her ground. I find it difficult to see how there could be a workaround, but Bond has been in sticky situations before – this being the stickiest yet as they will literally have to scrape him off the remnants of that island to resurrect him 🙁

            Not a fan of prequels myself, and only read the first couple of pages of the Hunger Games prequel novel my daughter was given when it came out. First thing I thought: Suzanne Collins has correctly created a lack of control environment for Snow as a young person, but neglected to see the ties of that to his later narcissism/psychopathy. He is virtually being presented as empathic, when nothing could be further from the truth. He would have to be callous-unemotional all the way. What a let down from a fan’s perspective. I can’t buy into now, knowing what I know. Was never that interested in a prequel, and when I wrote my fan fiction wrote sequels which excluded Suzanne Collins original ending that had virtually prevented any sequel from ever being written. Much like James Bond now. Well, you could make a sequel from the children’s or child’s experience, which is another option.

            I agree Dr.Who should not be a woman, make her Dr. Why 😛 Honestly, as a woman I’m absolutely over women replacing male characters for the sake of so-called ‘diversity’. It’s the ruination of so many franchises. Just make your own! Why does an old franchise need to be taken over by a new idea? Are people not creative enough to create new heroes/heroines without ‘lazily’ replacing already existing characters with the favoured diversity pick at the time? It’s the ruination of multiple franchises right now, at least from my perspective. I, for one, won’t watch them or engage in them further purely on that basis.

            Yes, I heard/read the new Matrix movie didn’t cut the mustard, which is shame for fans who have been waiting with bated breath for its release 🙁 Sequels will often disappoint earlier fans of a franchise as they don’t live up to the original, or perhaps sometimes we set our expectations too high and will necessarily be disappointed for that reason. Often nothing will top the original and the impression it made. Probably human nature is the reason for that … much like HG and his strawberry ice cream. We can also tire of a good thing!

            Is James Bond a narcissist? I never thought about it! Having a narcissist playing a narcissist would probably work – it works for Al Pacino – and only time will tell who the top pick will be xox

        2. Truthseeker6157 says:


          Yep Roisin just cracks me up, her eyes are everywhere, I imagine she’d cause trouble in an empty room.

          I’m not sure. Ricky Gervais and narc, I can see why you would say that, I’m not feeling narc from him though. Honestly, I think I miss a lot of narcs you know. That might be why I think I don’t bump into them too often. I must wander round happily in my own world. Maybe that’s the safest place for me! I can point to a few in my various workplaces, one real life relationship, one online ensnarement, but that’s it. Maybe my ET default setting is low, and I don’t buy in so I don’t notice. My ET was shockingly high when I landed here. In some ways, I think I’m a nicer person with higher ET. I sound harsh to myself these days. Not always, I think you know what I mean though.

          I haven’t seen Alma’s not normal, it sounds right up my street though, I’ll watch that one first.

          You’ve got me thinking now about RG. I’ll have to ponder that one !

          1. alexissmith2016 says:

            Hahah yes she’s definitely naughty and seems like lots of fun too.

            I feel I could be convinced either way re RG but don’t know huge amounts about him other than I find his work quite funny.

            That’s great your ET is low and you don’t notice them. Because they’re bloody everywhere. But if they don’t affect you it’s the best way!

            I’d say I’m pretty damn good when meeting people in my private life. I’d give myself about a 90% accuracy of detecting Ns missing about 10% whom then go on to surprise me further down the road.

            I’d be interested to know your thoughts on RG as well as Alma.

          2. Definitely leaning on side of RG being a midrange N.

          3. Truthseeker6157 says:


            That’s an incredibly high strike rate at 90% you really must have your narc antennae tuned in, I think that’s impressive.

            I think I either am oblivious to them most of the time, or, I’m not a personality that draws them in. In essence maybe I just don’t come across as an empath at first meet. It has confused me from day one. I don’t see narcs everywhere, at all.

            Now to Ricky Gervais. I’m not a huge fan, but can find him funny. Two things for me. The first is that he wrote directed and starred in Afterlife and credits his wife as the inspiration for much of the writing. He hopes he dies first because he believes he won’t cope if it’s the other way around. I don’t believe that a narc could have written that series. It’s too close to the bone.

            Secondly, I saw a clip of him talking about dogs. Sounds mad I know. It popped up on my Twitter feed. What I saw was sincerity. It was in the eyes.

            He might not be an empath, though if I had to bet I’d likely put my money there. I find him irritating at times, that doesn’t make him a narc though. Some of his humour I find forced but again that’s a role play thing not a character thing. If you see sincerity, I think you have to rule out narc. Sincerity is extremely difficult to mimic. It isn’t big, wide, dewy eyes, it’s there or it isn’t. I think it was there.

            If I’m wrong I’ll look a proper mug hahaha!

          4. alexissmith2016 says:

            And you won’t look a proper mug at all. It’s hard to tell sometimes. I could be totally wrong on him too. But I wouldn’t feel like a mug. Just think I need to learn more. HG is the only true expert. And I’m happy enough that I can spot them in real life. A male friend of mine likely recently dared a mmr type b. I really liked her, thought she was genuine and it was only at the end when he told me everything which had been going on that it became apparent to me. He’s likely empathic but not empath and dealt with it all pretty well given the circumstances. So we’re not mugs just continuously learning. RG is an N though. I’ll be the mug, I don’t care hahah

          5. alexissmith2016 says:

            So interesting, thanks for your thoughts TS.

            It’s a tough one re RG because I desperately neee direct interaction to see how they make me feel.

            I understands what you’re saying re his wife snd crediting her but this could be part of the facade.

            Pantman – whom i know in RL 10000% N likely mmr. He has been married long term no kids. Always speaks highly of his wife to others and gives her credit too. Says he needs her and would never leave her but admits he cannot bear to be alone.

            Loving dogs, does he though or do they just appeal to his sense of control and help with the facade.
            Thing with RG is he does have a sneer that I wouldn’t say is typical of an empath. I sneer occasionally we’ll rarely, and would only be if I saw the downfall of a total bitch whereas his sneer appears to be for everyone.

            It’s great you don’t attract the attention of too many N. Lucky girl! What school/cadre are you?

          6. Truthseeker6157 says:


            Alma’s not normal. Binge watched haha! I switched between asking myself why I was watching it, to not being able to turn it off!

            Much enjoyed, thanks for the tip!


          7. Truthseeker6157 says:


            I know what you mean with needing the face to face interaction to determine if someone is a narc. I don’t see narcs everywhere but I do see my fair share of arseholes and arseholes pretending not to be arseholes! Maybe if I switch the term arsehole for narc then I’d see more of them! 😂

            Either way, I don’t entertain arseholes even the supposedly nice ones, so I’m likely ruling out narcs by default. I can close someone down very easily and not feel guilty after.

            That said though, if there was a nice guy, who just wasn’t my type, I’d spend the entire evening talking to him, because I have no clue how to get rid of someone nice. I end up being even more friendly, so I end up making it worse and worse!

            I’m a real mish mash of school and cadres. Lead school is Super with significant Contagion and CoD. Lead cadre is Saviour with significant Magnet and insignificant Carrier.

            I think it’s the sensing from the Contagion I rely on more than anything else, so establishing famous narcs is tricky because I am just so reliant on the instinctive impression I pick up through the face to face interaction.

            I know what you mean about the sneer. I don’t think RG suffers fools too well, or, maybe it’s just a sneer.

            Maybe RG is a normal, we never think about the normals do we?!


          8. alexissmith2016 says:

            Oooh TS, I’ve been watching ‘The Teacher’ with Sheridan Smith, she had naughty eyes!

          9. Truthseeker6157 says:


            Just looked that up. It does look good and she definitely has naughty eyes!

  5. Lucycita says:

    I’ll take #9 and Elvis ❤

  6. Joa says:

    Why am I still smiling stupidly reading this text? Why do I feel a familiar warmth?

    Instead of turning around and walking away.

    Help 🙂

    1. A Victor says:

      Hi Joa, my stupid, slick ex had his stupid, slick variations on these, as I would never have fallen for these as they are. So I guess his narcissism wasn’t that stupid…

      Anyway, these are not how normal people relate in healthy relationships. But our ET loves this crap, in some form or another.

      The real thing, from what I hear, is much preferable and not at all boring. It is a huge jump to imagine a love without the drama and the extremes, how else will we “feel” it? How will it excite us and make us feel alive? So it is a risk, but it is the only real thing, a risk I believe is worth taking. I have seen many on here, now married to normals or empaths, who say they never miss the narc or the drama, they are happy, truly and absolutely happy. It is a beautiful thing to have, I now believe, two people, working together, shoulder to shoulder, to create a real life, keeping the harsh world out, or facing it together as a team. I am so looking forward to this kind of love someday.

      1. Joa says:

        Ah AV, if it were that simple…

        The problem is, I don’t smile because of these banal love texts. I smile at what HG explains under them.

        This is my problem.

        I know what he is, and yet…

        1. A Victor says:

          Joa, haha, well you said help and the savior in me came out I guess… 😂

          I think I understand, you want to keep him…well, everybody needs love…😬. And, you know what to do if you change your mind…💕

      2. k mac says:

        AV, the real thing isn’t really like that. It is wonderful in a different way.

        1. A Victor says:

          K Mac, I only have HG’s description of the real thing to go off, if you have it already, you are blessed indeed!

          1. k mac says:

            I am truly blessed and yet I feel undeserving of it.

          2. A Victor says:

            You’re deserving. I have read your comments, I believe I understand, none of us are perfect yet we are all deserving. I think sometimes life events serve to make us more grateful. 💕

  7. Wendy says:

    The accuracy is astounding on how things play out with a narcissist. Very soon after we became involved the “I love you” started and I admit I fell for it and reciprocated this back to him. The old “no one has ever made me feel like this” and “can you be real?!” Then of course he showered me with roses and beautiful bouquets every day and had to of course tell me “ you are the only woman I’ve bought flowers for every day.”

    Then came the old “ hey, would you mind helping me out with my car payment this month. I have the money it’s just I won’t get paid until such and such a time so I will get a late fee.” This started becoming every month. He would at first pay it back to “prove” he was honest but then near the end I had to threaten him for it back!

    He hated when we were apart and I actually witnessed his mask come off early in over this. He became hysterical and furious when I couldn’t pick up his calls. He became unhinged if I happened to talk to anyone of the opposite sex. And he hated my best friend because she pegged him immediately as a narcissist. She had been ensnared with one for a couple of years so he knew that she knew. So did my youngest daughter.

    Oh and the future faking! Wanted me to move in with him immediately and leave everything behind! It’s just crazy how it all plays out and all the while our hearts full of hope and love for this person.

    1. Asp Emp says:

      Wendy, “He became hysterical and furious when I couldn’t pick up his calls. He became unhinged if I happened to talk to anyone of the opposite sex”- just like the Lesser I knew.

      1. wensical says:

        Asp Emp, I have yet to do the narc detector but it’s definitely on my list to do! I really want to know exactly which kind of narc I dealt with. I think I know and then I remember things he said or did that doesn’t add up to that particular type of narc. Gonna do it soon!

        1. Asp Emp says:

          Wendy, that is good to know that you plan to have the NDC done. It would aid to give you some clarity for yourself and also contribute to your learning too ie recognise them in the future ie in a supermarket, or a garage 😉

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