Narc Magnet

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You are a magnet. You attract our kind. You have done so at least once and you will continue to do so. Again and again. There is no hope for anything else. As an empath, super empath or co-dependent you radiate with the traits which draw us to you. Hitherto you had no awareness that this was the case. You would enter a room and be oblivious to the heads that turned your way as our kind detected your presence. You would have noticed that you were receiving the attention of people, but back then you had no knowledge of who was engaging with you or why that was the case. You have several sets of traits which appeal to us. These are the empathic traits, the class traits and the special traits. It is your empathic traits which stand out most of all.

These are evident in the way that you behave, the words you say, the gestures you use and the expressions that form on your face. The way your interact with people, the way you look about a room, the way you walk, the way you sit, the place you decide to sit and so many other things indicate to us your empathic nature. In the same way that everything we do is marked with the taint of our narcissism, everything that you do is stamped with the essence of your empathic traits.

When you walk into the hunting ground of our kind, you are identified promptly as exhibiting potential. It as if you give off a fuel signature, like some kind of scent which our kind smells and recognises as soon as you come near. You once did not see the Lesser as he leant against the bar and noticed you as soon as you entered the premises, his eyes fixed on you as he observed your entrance. The Mid-Ranger would look up from where was sat and find himself drawn to you, that unmistakable essence which you give off, being picked up and identified. Both Lesser and Mid-Range would not know why they wanted to engage with you save that they felt a compulsion to do so.

This need arises in the same way that a lion knows that it is hungry and therefore it must find some prey. The Lesser and the Mid-Ranger’s antennae twitch as you the empath walk through the bar. They are alerted to your presence and then they will watch and pick up on the other indicators which tell them what you are.

The Greater sees you and knows what you are. His lascivious grin indicative of the thoughts which are running through his mind as he begins to assess your suitability. You are signalling to him who you are, that you are empathic, that fuel is passing him by and an opportunity has presented itself.

Once upon a time you were oblivious. You walked through this den of narcissistic intent, unaware of the parasitic creatures that waited to climb down from their waiting perches so that they could engage with you, coil about you and draw you into their web with their silver-tongues and charm. You just thought they were being pleasant, polite and taking an interest. You had no idea how much danger you were in as you allowed your empathic traits to shine like a beacon. Each and every day you radiated these traits, issuing a sub-conscious “come and get me” to our kind. How good it felt to receive this attention. How pleasant it was to be courted in this manner.

As our kind picked up on your empathic scent and were drawn to you, they sought additional confirmations, assessing your class traits and hopefully special traits too, through a combination of instinct and design, dependent on which school of narcissist you had engaged with.

You do this as as easily as you inhale and exhale. Your traits are imprinted on you and they are indelible. They are part of your core and you cannot remove them. You cannot flick a switch and turn off these empathic traits. They are you. Imagine you will if some kind of glasses were created which allowed a physical representation of your empathic traits as hues of red light. If one donned those glasses and looked into this hunting ground as above, a bar perhaps, then one would see several things.

First there would be the normals who would have a slight red glow about them, indicating some empathic traits but limited in number and extent. There would be the dark and empty spaces which are where our kind lurk, the empathic traits completely devoid. Next one would see the dancing trails of scarlet and rose that signify the empath. The roaring flames of riotous red which blaze and indicate the presence of the super empath and then the supernova of bright red which is the signature of the co-dependent. As your gaze swept the room, one would see these differing hues and varying intensity, all indicative of the ever present empathic traits.

It is impossible for you to become incognito. You are unable to remove your empathic traits. You cannot switch them off and pass undetected. Accordingly, you will always stand out to our kind. You will always be identifiable, you will be seen and therefore if our kind is in the vicinity, whether physically proximate or through the accessibility of technology, we will be drawn to you. Like sharks which scent blood, like the hungry dog which smells meat, we pick you out and converge on you in anticipation of the fuel that will flow from you.

You will aways be a magnet for our kind. You have been created with empathic traits and you will always keep them. You will remain that beacon which we see and flock to. You will always attract us.

Of course you may learn to dampen down the manifestation of your empathic traits by altering some of your behaviours. Certain actions, words and gestures might be reduced, lessened and altered to reduce the extent of the empathic traits which you exhibit, but your traits always shine through and you cannot maintain this cloaking for long. It is contrary to who you are how you conduct yourself. Your empathic traits are so extensive that even when you have suffered the beasting at our hands and mouths, that when you have been drained, numbed and exhausted, the empathic traits will remain.

The empath will not shine with them as brightly and following the full horror of the devaluation and discard,t he empath will not function with such an obvious display of empathic traits because the brutality of the treatment will cause some diminution in function and display.

The super empath will continue to display these empathic traits because this person has the capacity to endure so much and then still have sufficient function to escape what has happened, once there is the eventual realisation as to what has happened. Once the super empath has had enough, they will seek their escape and their empathic traits continue to shine brightly.

The co-dependent, no matter how brow-beaten, how ground into the dirt he or she is, will continue to exhibit those empathic traits because the co-dependent would rather give you his or her last breath rather than take it for themselves. They continue to give, even when there seems there is nothing more that can be taken and thus their empathic traits remain on display.

This is why it is so often the case that you are almost passed from one of our kind to another. You are discarded but your empathic traits remain evident and thus another of our kind flocks to you, ready to gorge on the fuel which is generated by your empathic traits. Even if you escape, you continue to signal your suitability to us. You are unable to do anything other than stand out in this way.

It is only when you have gained the insight and understanding into knowing who it is that you keep attracting and why, that you finally learn what to watch out for. You cannot change what you are, indeed, why should you? What you can alter is your ability to identify us when we make that bee-line for you. As you radiate empathic traits, we also exhibit the narcissistic traits which once understood and once recognised in the behaviour of the everyday, mean you finally see and take notice of the red flags, flashing lights and blaring klaxons which herald this danger.

You will always be destined to be a magnet for us. That will never change. We will flock to you, be attracted to you and seek you out, our instincts seeking that scent of the empath which tells us that our needs will be met and fuel will be provided.

You will draw our interest and attention because the empathic traits flow from you. You will, once you gain the knowledge and understanding, know who it is who has joined you at the bar and flashed you that winning smile and then you can the seize the power.

14 thoughts on “Narc Magnet

  1. Pingback: Er du en magnet på narsissister? - Psykopatene blant oss
  2. A Victor says:

    This is possibly the most challenging aspect of the dynamic for me to accept at this point. I am what I am, I am happy with what I am, but what I am draws evil to me and it’s not possible to change that. So in a way, my parents messaging to me was accurate, I am a failure, with regard to finding a good man and having a happy, low chaos life with him. Reading this it feels like the best I can hope for is that I learn to spot them and get away before they catch me. What kind of life is that. I might as well write off having a partner, better to go it alone than be abused just to have a person there. Just a moment of discouragement, I need to push past it, my life is great. This article is hard.

  3. December Infinity says:

    Reading this article has made me realize why I am not too crazy about any kind of socializing at this point. I almost felt that I had a narc tree growing out of my back at one point. I have been spending time reflecting and learning more about what I need to know from past experiences. It has been a little over two years no contact from the last narcissist. The resources in the knowledge vault have been very useful.

  4. Contagious says:

    Anyone live in a HOA? I find the board members are almost always mr narcs. They are never CEOs or leaders and get on a board of usually a million or more HOA and the power rushes to their brains. They are intolerable. I got 7 letters for putting a plant in and watering HOA property next to my house when they had a landscaper who got fired so he shut the water off. 9 months later plants were dying so I tried to help. Normal people would apologize and say thank you. Instead I had to defend my actions. I won. But I find the HOAs are similar. They have a bad rap for a reason. Narc retirees run them.

    1. alexissmith2016 says:

      HOAs/Charities too. I’ve been trustee for a few and they’re overrun with middle mid range!

      1. Asp Emp says:

        AS2016, “they’re overrun with middle mid range”. I’d be inclined to agree, not just the one sub-school.

      2. Duchessbea says:

        Very much agree. Incredible isn’t it.

        1. alexissmith2016 says:

          Totally Duchessbea. I’ll never do it again! The stories I could tell, sounds like you could too

    2. A Victor says:

      Thank you for this info, very interesting. I deal with a lot of HOA board members for my job, this explains a lot!

    3. k mac says:

      Oh my God contagious Absolutely! They are the hall monitors from hell! 🤣

  5. vandenboss says:

    I find the reactions on non verbal communication very much a narc indicator,although others find it amusing too. But they don’t open their eyes as wide and give you the idea that they just got a shot of something that makes them feel good.
    I think the way of interacting with people can be described as being authentic,being yourself. This sometimes triggers a reaction like ‘You’ve seen that in this or that TV show or movie'(projection) When you then say ‘i don’t own a TV or watch movies for over twelve years’,then they don’t believe you. As if to say ‘ where the hell do you acquire your character trades then?
    Not having the need to start rattling with the first person you encounter or talking all the time seems to be a magnet too.( o great a listener). ‘Are you not feeling well?’ -‘I’m feeling great! Do i know you? I’m really just observing this muppet show that’s going on here’. Some years after i stopped watching TV and movies i did have a period where i watched a lot zombie movies.I couldn’t put my finger on it as of why i did that,never liked them before. It was after a period where i had to deal a lot with lessers and i noticed some slight comparison with other people in my life(mid rangers). I was looking for answers,a cure if you like. All Hollywood had to offer was a shot to the head. Not too bad when you have the time for the consequences(jail).
    Luckily a friend pointed out what was eating me and it turned out i was right,zombies.
    Not long after i found HG on youtube and i’d put 1+1 together. The invisible shot to the head,Ignoring and no contact. When they come with a question or problem the answer is ‘No’ or ‘I don’t care its not my problem.’ or ‘I cant help you no one can.’ When the interaction has to take longer i use covert verbal abuse and get the hell out.
    Put all my energy in the things i like to do and the people i like(triangulation if you will) I tell them whats/who’s eating them,how they do it, and what to do about it.

    So healthy habits,healthy friends,and a healthy diet for all victims but i think specially the magnet. I experimented with vitamin and mineral supplements,since its hard to get enough out of a diet on a daily basis,and i noticed a big difference when i stopped using them. Magnesium with calcium and zinc with copper,to calm your nervous system.Vitamin D3 with K1 and k2. Omega3 from fat fish not supplements since you have to swallow the whole pot to equal one fish like herring or mackerel. Salmon only the wild one since the harvested salmon is pure poison.
    For sport i started doing ‘calisthenics’ much more effective then fitness,and i don’t have to go to the gym and deal with the somatic’s drooling over my ass. I googled calisthenics park and found out that they are all around,never noticed them before. No need for sit up or crunches,the six pack comes with it for free.
    We learned from HG that,to the narcissist, everything is a zero sum game,what you lose they win. When we turn that around we get ‘what you win they lose’. I found out that to be true. When we get into a upward spiral our obsessed tormentors,the ones that cannot let go,will get into a downward spiral. Yes i score two points on sadism, only five gets problematic so there”s still room to up the ante.
    Sorry for the wall of text,i was up a little early today. Blue sky outside! 🙂 Off to the beach! Showing off that six pack while ignoring the ones wearing sunglasses.

  6. Rebecca says:


    After reading this article and thinking on it. I realize I work around more narcissist or narcissistic people than I realized. It doesn’t really bother me because I know them,worked with them for seven years now. I see them and I’m aware now and I know how to avoid them, if I need to. I won’t walk into their web because I’m not interested in what’s sitting on that web. No thanks, I’ll pass, hard pass. …moving on. …

  7. Pingback: Narc Magnet - Dark Triad Personality
  8. Patricia N says:

    Ohhh. Well, that could explain a few things I’ve noticed over the years.

    Also, I recall that one thing I had to do on one of the many development courses I undertook through my work was to ask people around me – family, friends, colleagues – for a word or few words to describe me. The results actually shocked me (as did the results of my empath detector, come to that!), because more than one person described me as “sparkling”.

    Given all that, it’s odd that I’ve never been ensnared by a narcissist (and no, I don’t have a face that could sink a thousand ships, so I’m pretty sure it isn’t that I look terrible; and I don’t smell bad!). Not that I’m complaining at the non-entrapment, just intrigued as to how I’ve managed to escape.

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