15 Boundary Breakers
We never respect boundaries, do not regard them as applicable to us, whether those boundaries are accepted social conventions or boundaries enshrined in law, we have little or no regard for them. These rules, procedures, conventions and laws are for the little people, not titans such as us. We go where we want, when we want and do what we want. Driven by our astonishing sense of entitlement, absent empathy and innate superiority, we smash through barriers and boundaries every day. This is a total mind set which we adopt and the examples of this are legion. Here are fifteen instance of our boundary breaking behaviours.
- Anything of yours is automatically ours.
- You are an extension of us.
- We make you feel guilty if you say no to us.
- We make you believe that you are something that you are not.
- We ignore and/or deny your needs.
- We invade your spaces.
- We allow your sense of self-esteem and self-worth to be eroded.
- We make you solely responsible for our needs.
- We make you say “yes” to us through a sense of obligation.
- We make you feel it is necessary to always please us.
- We treat you unequally.
- We fail to support you.
- We expect you to agree with us all of the time.
- We expect you to read our minds so you do what we want.
- We dominate your resources – time, energy, attention, socialising, money and emotions.
7 thoughts on “15 Boundary Breakers”
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# 14 “we expect you to read our minds” – when I read these words, I used to think ‘Why don’t you understand what I am saying? Why don’t you know what I mean? Don’t you know already?’ especially in regard to work tasks, when someone may have asked me how to do something, or why I am doing it in a different way.
I understood that I am a Deaf person, when it came to Aspergers, well, that is totally a different mindset. I lived 3 “parallels”, two of which, I was not aware, nor understand.
Educating people about behaviours, narcissism or not, is a key ‘link’ to understanding (and relating with) other people. Education is the operative.
Is society, as peers, to children of today, letting humanity down by not having the knowledge to nail down the fundamentals of education about all human behaviours, not just the basics of such?
All of these things can only happen if we allow them to. We can stop this.
Yes, and no. I have 2 teenagers. Many agree that all teenagers have many narcissistic traits. One of my teenagers is given to busting up my house. I have had the police out several times in the middle of his violent episodes. A police woman shook her finger at me and said, “This is happening because you allow it!” Well, given that the kid is quite a bit larger and stronger than me, and given that the law doesn’t allow me to move away from him, I would beg to differ. In fact, isn’t calling the po-po on him evidence that I am not allowing it? Lol
I stand corrected, thank you. It was romantic relationships I was thinking of when I wrote that, as two adults. I couldn’t stop it either when I was a child. There are circumstances where the abuser is our authority or our responsibility and in those cases, no, it is not in our control. I hope you can resolve your situation sooner than later. That is a very difficult place to be.
Wow. Just wow. This list is so spot on. There are far too many examples to list, but needless to say my mother excelled at breaking boundaries. It never occurred to me to set boundaries until my husband insisted I seek therapy after the second time I was suicidal (at age 42). She informed me that my relationship with my mother was not normal nor healthy and that boundaries were appropriate. I set one boundary. Just one. I told her we would only speak on the phone once a day with the option of my not answering her call and calling her back if I was busy. Omg. She literally accused me of abandoning her. So much melodrama. I haven’t spoken to her since March 2019 but I still feel twinges of anxiety that I haven’t called her to tell her where I’m at. It’s insane.
Yes, number 14 is fun.
“We expect you to read our minds so you do what we want.”