The Saviour Cadre of Empath
There are four schools of empath (Co-Dependent, Standard, Super and Contagion). There are many cadres of empath which layer on to those schools. These cadres include the Carrier, the Magnet and the Geyser, about which I have written previously. A further cadre is that of the Saviour Empath.
The Saviour Empath’s mission is to heal and to save, to ensure that good prevails. They are the archetypal believer in the idea that there is some good in everybody. With regard to our kind, the Saviour Empath does not consider that we are intrinsically ‘evil’ or ‘bad’. They prefer to adopt the view that there is good locked away inside of us and that it just has to be discovered, unlocked and set free. This notion of course and the desire to address this apparent goodness is a very strong binder which enables us to keep a hold on the Saviour Empath. Indeed, there are those of our kind who will play on this concept and this is addressed below.
The Saviour Empath feels an overriding need to save the world. They wish to right the wrongs, heal the sick, tend to the injured and ensure that injustices are overturned. It is this desire which is at the very heart of the Saviour Empath. The Saviour Empath is often someone who subscribes to a belief system (whether it is organised religion, karma, paganism or similar) although the absence of such a belief does not discount the person as being a Saviour Empath, but a reliance on a belief system is a hallmark of the Saviour Empath. How does this manifest with regard to each school of empath?
Standard Empath – the Saviour Standard Empath regards it as imperative that he or she comes to the aid of people. They will donate to charity, help out voluntary organisations and are giving of their time. With regard to the narcissist, this manifests as adopting a sympathetic and compassionate approach to the unusual behaviours (when the empath is not aware they are ensnared by a narcissist) of the narcissist. Accordingly, they regard the narcissist as a ‘good’ person (supported by the narcissist’s illusory behaviour during the golden period) and therefore when devaluation occurs they will ascribe the behaviour to arising from a third party event rather than seeing it as the behaviour of the narcissist at work. The Standard Empath wants to assist the narcissist and does so by trying to understand and offer solutions linked to the aberrant behaviour that is being witnessed. The Saviour Standard Empath whilst wanting to save the narcissist from whatever terrible third party event or influence that is causing the behaviour (for example, is the narcissist struggling at work, is he stressed, has he got problems with money or drink?). The Saviour Standard Empath will put themselves in the firing line when trying to assist, but they do not tend to regard the problem as much to do with them but rather another factor which they want to tackle and overcome.
Super Empath – the Saviour Super Empath is akin to a caped crusader who fires into action whenever he or she witnesses injustice. They cannot help but interfere when really it is not their business (this is the narcissistic trait of selfishness coming to the fore momentarily). The Saviour Super Empath will not turn a blind eye to someone in trouble, they will help the injured person and then look to tackle the perpetrator (or at least bring them to account through formal channels). Thus is the Saviour Super Empath sees someone being attacked, they will help the victim, look to fight off the attacker and/or chase them down, either themselves or enlisting help. They cannot let any kind of injustice go unaddressed. The Saviour Super Empath has a very strong moral compass and therefore when they see something that is wrong, it very much boils their piss so they spring into action. Whilst they always look to help people, what really matters to the Saviour Super Empath is bringing people to account for their actions. If they see a person cutting into a queue (line) they will upbraid the offender. If they witness a person stealing, they will look to stop them or report them. The Saviour Super Empath is a firm believer in the need for good to prevail, whether this is in a situation or in a person. With regard to the narcissist that a Saviour Super Empath is embroiled with, the Saviour Super Empath knows that this person has a kernel of goodness and if they only triedto embrace it, let it shine etc then such a difference will appear. They believe the narcissist has it inside of them to make adjustments, amend their behaviour and harness the intrinsic goodness inside of them. The Saviour Super Empath knows that they are a force for good and they believe that the narcissist can do the same. The Saviour Super Empath recognises that they themselves are good people but that they have some degree of edge to them (their narcissistic traits appearing from time to time) and they often regard the narcissist in the same light – a person who has edge but is intrinsically good – and this fools the Saviour Super Empath in to wanting to assist and save the narcissist.
The Co-Dependent – the Co-Dependent who is of the Saviour Cadre finds the world to be a terrible place and wishes to administer succour to the downtrodden, to assist the hurt, and to heal the wounds of the injured. They are less concerned about bringing the offender to justice and more about attending to the people who are left cowering and broken in the wake of oppression and violence. The Saviour Co-Dependent is a person who is extremely caring and compassionate – the type of person who would join Medicins Sans Frontieres and arriving at the scene of a humanitarian disaster would work themselves into the ground to try and ease the suffering of each and every person even though it is an impossible task. They are often overwhelmed by the cruelty of the world and despair at its evil ways, but this will not stop them from trying to save each and every person who is in need of help. This applies to the way they engage with the narcissist. The Saviour Co-Dependent (“SCD”) knows and is absolutely convinced that the narcissist is at heart a good person and with the right application of guidance, support, compassion and tolerance the narcissist will change, will improve and let that goodness shine. The SCD will not give up on the narcissist, even to personal cost to themselves. They know that redemption is just around the corner, that improvement is on the horizon and they will, with a zeal bordering on delusion, grasp at any sign of improvement or alteration in the narcissist’s behaviour as evidence that their faith has not proven incorrect.
The SCD will flagellate themselves in the pursuit of trying to help and heal the narcissist, their emotional thinking and innate desire to do good, plus their own need to achieve validation through their giving of themselves means he or she will continue to try to achieve the impossible. They will not wish to give up, they will see glimmers of hope, slivers of optimism and fragments of possibility in order to achieve their aim of saving the narcissist.
The Contagion – the Saviour Contagion Empath (“SCE”) will manifest their desire to assist as a consequence of the severe impact felt by them of the negative energy, suffering and misery that accompanies the human condition. The desire to save and resolve, to eradicate the diseased and bring about the healing is different to that of the other schools of empath. The SCE needs to achieve this in order to secure balance, which is their primary aim. By redressing the bad, through their saving good works then balance is restored and the polluting impact upon them of the negative energy which they feel – the manifestation of the woe, misery and hurt that others feel – is removed and no longer (albeit temporarily) ceases to be a burden upon them. With regard to the narcissist, the removal of the dark energy surrounding and flowing from the narcissist’s behaviours has a considerable impact on the finely-tuned SCE. In order to alleviate their own pain, in order to prevent themselves from being consumed by the darkness which they acutely feel, the SCE seeks to save the narcissist from their dark self. They similarly wish to achieve balance with their own personal narcissist or narcissists.
How are these various schools of Saviour Empath regarded by our brethren? As you might expect, the SE is naturally desired by narcissists for their empathic traits, class and special traits too. Accordingly, no narcissist will ever shy away from the ensnaring of the SE. There are certain schools and cadres of narcissist however that desire the SE in particular.
Victim Narcissists desire the Saviour Empath owing to their need to be mothered, looked after and saved from their various ailments (real or imagined). The SE’s desire to bring about healing and resolution is savoured by this cadre of narcissist. Lesser Narcissists will not turn away a Saviour Empath, but they are not favoured (unless the Lesser is of the Victim Cadre) since the Lesser has no truck with the idea of being healed or saved. From what? Will be the mocking response as their complete lack of self-awareness means that they have no comprehension or need to be saved in that manner.
Mid Range Narcissists treasure Saviour Empaths because of the fact that some Mid Range Narcissists like to play the ‘troubled soul’ or ‘personal demons’ approach. Whilst unaware of what they are, their awareness that there is something not quite right, coupled with their passive behaviours and need for attention, means that the Mid Range Narcissist truly sees the Saviour Empath as the one who will save him from himself, even though this is just part of the manipulation to keep the Saviour Empath hooked. The Mid Range will revel in becoming the pet project for the Saviour Empath and will instinctively play along by tossing a bone of apparent awareness or improvement in order to maintain the hoped for glorious redemption that the Saviour Empath craves.
The Greater Narcissist is likely to prefer other cadres but again is not going to kick the Saviour Empath out of bed for eating crisps. The Greater may find tormenting the Saviour Empath a delightful machination by increasing the visibility of their dark side so that the Saviour Empath sees a challenge which has to be surmounted. Of course, the Saviour Empath is blind to the fact that the Greater cannot be healed or saved, but that will not stop the Saviour Empath from trying time and time again.
17 thoughts on “The Saviour Cadre of Empath”
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I am pretty certain I am a Saviour Super Empath. My ex was a Mid Range Narc. I am a new grad nurse and a Born-Again Christian and he is Muslim (professes, but does not seriously follow) Businessman. Our relationship was very on-off over the course of six years. I’ve broken up with him so many times over the years; I was always the one to leave on my own but I would come back after a month or two when he would hoover because I was attached and still loved him (even though I knew we were incompatible) and try to work things out with him only to be disappointed over and over.
I knew he had a problem with lying and I noticed he would often change his stories or tell half-truths. He was also very concerned with outer appearance, driving flashy cars, wearing brand clothes, luxury watches, and preoccupied with how others perceived him (while I appreciated the effort he would put in to look nice, many of these behaviors turned me off and I viewed as being superficial and insecure). In spite of the red flags, he was very warm, affectionate, charismatic, and hard working. Back then, I believed he would have been a good husband and father and we even discussed children in our future.
Anyways, 3 years into the relationship I come to find out he has been stealing money from the government (at first, he denied but he admitted it when I told him what the police said to me) and I was furious and wanted to leave (how could a Christian girl like me date a thief?!), but of course he is a very good manipulator and promised he would change and be better, he said he didn’t know why he did it and he was stupid to have done it. I believed he was remorseful and could be redeemed so I stayed, again because I loved him. I told him if he wanted me to stay he needs to be an honest person and take responsibility and he assured me he would.
I broke it off with him for the last time in July, I was fed up with his false promises. 3 months after the final break up (and ignoring all hoovers) I come to find out he was cheating on me for the past 2 years of our relationship. He had a secondary source (Russian girl) he would fly out to in Turkey when he was “visiting his family” every few months for the past year. After I left him, he started dating a different Russian girl from San Diego and two timing the new source with the other girl from Turkey. They found out about each other and confronted him on everything. I was the last to find out and confronted him as well, breaking 3 months of no contact. And, of course, just like always he refused all responsibility and blame shifted. He said “100% of the problems in our relationship were your fault”, “I cheated because of you”, “you were the one who broke my heart” etc.
Now I realize, he painted me black a long time ago because I would stand up for myself in the relationship, I wasn’t compliant enough, I would call him out on his bad behaviors, and I left him many times. Still trying to come to terms that the man I loved for so many years and was a big part of my life never really existed. I cut off all contact and blocked him now. The more I learn, the more that I see he was a narcissist. And the messed up part is that my father is a narcissist too (but an angry, temperamental low range Narc). I always told myself that I never want to be with a man like my father. I used to think my ex was a better man than him because my father is a very cold and cruel person and my ex was very lovey dovey towards me in spite of all his flaws. Now I realize they are just different strains of the same disease.
I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around everything, but I think it helps that I am a super empath because I still have a very strong sense of who I am and a higher self esteem. While I am hurt from everything and could certainly benefit from therapy, I think that I am handling it better than most would. My friends tell me that I am really strong. I think my strength comes from my faith in God and knowing that although I made many mistakes in the relationship and could have handled certain things better, that there’s ultimately nothing I could have done. It would have imploded eventually and he’s the one that is sick in the head and damaged but is completely blind to it. It would take nothing less than a miracle from God to change his heart. I am not a perfect person at all, sometimes I want to curse him for all the evil he has done but in my heart I pray for him as well. If I could have it my own way I would want him to learn from his mistakes, become a decent person, and have a genuine relationship with God but there is nothing I can do for him except pray. I will try my best to learn from this experience and become a wiser person with a stronger faith.
For all of you that have been abused as well, I know it is very painful but keep your head up and seek God if you don’t know him already. He will give you a more precious and unconditional love than any other person on this earth ever can.
Thank you, HG. Even though you are a Narc too, you help all of us by educating and equipping us.
It was in May 2020 that HG “diagnosed” me as a Savior Empath through the Empath Detector. I was pretty shocked at that result, especially because I did not believe I was a real empath at all.
I went back and forth with HG a couple times via email about it in my confusion.
His last response: “It will doubtless click in due course . . . .”
HG! It has finally clicked! 😘
Jolly good.
I too once thought that I could not be healed or saved until an angel walked into my life and his love and light energy destroyed the darkness that they had turned me into…he released me.
Excuse me? WTF? 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Jesus, of course
I have been on the blog a long time yet my savior contagian empathy has not served me. HG thanks wish it could wash the pain away. I don’t lose friends. Once I decide to love you, it is always. Three years ago an ex actor ( Blood In Blood out) asked me to allow his baby mama’s sister ( whose partner I had known through him and befriended for ten years) stay. Her sister and her daughter. What he didn’t tell me was she was a raging alcoholic who ruined my bed and ended up screaming and throwing things at the end. Her daughter smoked pot all day and drew. I took to her and we illustrated a book that I had a dream about Sparkles Saves Santa on Amazon. She illustrated it became my partner. They left during Covidto an air conditioner contractor who took pity and later made a Social security complaint complaining they abused him as a senior and would not leave. Police came. No result. The mother is from Belfast from a family of 8, 2 have died from alcoholism in their 40s.. The mother poured her heart to me of a 1000 reckonings of a childhood of abuse, rapes, and a husband of domestic violence. The 20 year old was sweet and silent but stoned. So when they were kicked out and lived in their car, I helped a year later. Took them on a trip. Paid for it all, it was fun. I let them stay again for a week. Same result. She ruined my couch. I got it professionally cleaned. My daughter stopped by and saw this drunk in my house. I felt bad. I thought well we can be friends. Just don’t stay with me. Boundaries. But in August the daughter and nephew got arrested for trespassing in big bear and disturbing the peace. Their car was hit where they lived and NO ONE would help them The nephew was the one whose mother died of alcoholism in her 40s. He had a political column, self made college educated but alcoholic with a couple of arrests age 25? They have a big family? Why me? Why would no one help? I said “ yes stay a week but no alcohol.” They stayed a week until the drinking began. I said a week and asked them to leave. I had to get angry and firm for them to leave. In response the mother said my husband was in love with her sister and begged to live with her in Spain and her sister the friend who asked if they could stay denied it. This escalated to a sister war where she said she had to choose her family and said it was true and blocked me.so much for ten years of friendship. The mother left messages saying her 22 year old felt I hated her for asking her to leave. Victim. I blocked her. 100 drunk messages. No thanks for helping. I blocked all of them with kind words. No contact. My husband denied the charges. No proof that allegedly existed was offered. I knew my husband was telling the truth. My ex beau said he has nothing to do with them as they are “backstabbers, users and abusers. So stupid me who let them use my home as their address must forward it to anywhere but his USA address.The father of the 22 year old agreed to accept mail. There is more horror, drama and sadness to their life. They don’t work and defraud the UK for benefits, I learned or suspect forwarding their mail now. Yet, I know I can’t fix what can’t be fixed, the need for balance… the shutting the door on people who are in such need who offer a sincere friendship but are so broken … it’s hard. I feel bad. Not guilty as I know I did the right thing but this isn’t a positive outcome. This decision creates pain. It’s hard but right . Most would have never helped. I know. The mother made calls fora week. No one helped. Yet they won’t get jobs. They seek men to save them or the daughters certain fame from painting, modeling or acting. She looked at my books of the masters such as Michelangelo and Leonard I Did Vinci and said she was better. So she believes it too I guess. My son said that “ they were two grown ass women who didn’t work but took over my house as if theirs. Weird”. I am no contact . Wish I felt better about it. But no desire at all to change my decision. It’s with this education. Why? Sorry HG
Why do I feel sad? Why do a seek a positive ending to every relationship? As if you can pull darkness into the light?
Contagious:
Because Empath.
HG has said we cannot change what we are, nor should we.
What we can do is use our logical thinking to keep our emotional thinking from getting out of control. You will never stop wanting to help these people, because that’s your nature, but you can recognize the fact that you can’t help them; you can only enable them. Anything they don’t have to buy because you give it to them, whether shelter or food, will be promptly applied to substance abuse.
If the UK benefits system wants to pay for these people to poison themselves for years, that’s the benefit system’s problem (although the ratepayers aren’t terribly happy about it), but you don’t need it on your conscience.
Midrange Cerebral Victim Narcissist + Savio(u)r Empath = my parents (I think). Of course, my empath mother was the one who was destroyed & became the ultimate victim in the end, while he’s still alive. (Indignant vocals in my head: ‘Well I’m here to remind you of the mess you left when you went away. It’s not fair to deny me of the cross I bear that you gave to me …’) And I STILL want to interfere & get justice for her! (Uh-oh, is a Savior Superempath actually a ‘Karen’ in disguise? D8). Although I can’t decide whether my mother was a Superempath or Codepedent … or both! I wish I could have rescued her from him before I learned too late & only made things worse. If SHE were here; she would know the right thing to do! *sob*)
‘Of course, my empath mother was the one who was destroyed & became the ultimate victim in the end, while he’s still alive. ‘
Sorry to hear this Susan. It’s true, at times the wrong one is taken.
‘And I STILL want to interfere & get justice for her!’
Understandable.
‘Uh-oh, is a Savior Superempath actually a ‘Karen’ in disguise?’
It could seem so but the saviour empath will react out of empathy for another who they see as unfairly suffering. Karens are mid-range narcissists who may think they are defending the downtrodden but when it gets down to it they are really just looking after their own interests. Their empathy is just for themselves. If your empathy is for your mother and women like her who’ve been treated badly by narcissists then your response is empathic.
‘Although I can’t decide whether my mother was a Superempath or Codepedent … or both!’
From what you’ve said about your father ‘destroying her’ it is likely she had a fair amount of co-dependency. Even if she had elements of the other schools as well.
‘I wish I could have rescued her from him before I learned too late & only made things worse. If SHE were here; she would know the right thing to do! *sob*’
Susan I am so sorry your mother is no longer with you. She would have definitely been able to comfort you and give you emotional support.
I don’t know if you could’ve rescued her or whether she’d know what to do now.
But it’s likely she’d want you to look after yourself first and foremost. Strengthen yourself and look for what will make you happy. She might also suggest the absolute bare minimum care for your father should he need it. She’d not want him punished I think and you might feel bad if he were. But certainly nothing too good or generous for him. Lastly she’d probably want you to keep her in your heart and think well of her. You seem to be doing this already.
What sort of causes did your mother value? Perhaps you could take one of these on to feel like you’re supporting her even if she’s not here for you to do it physically.
I hope you continue to gain strength and confidence moving forward.
I have a love/hate relationship with my savior element.
Why? I have only Savior minority and would love to have more!
Hi Leela, it pushes me toward things at times that if I didn’t have it, I wouldn’t go near. I have come to realize there are lost causes, sometimes discerning them is the issue, once I realize it is a lost cause, I can walk away. But I kick myself for not realizing it sooner sometimes. That’s the hate it side. I love it because it actually is just intrinsically who I am and I like caring at that level about other people. It is so intrinsic that I couldn’t even see it for quite a while after HG told me on my EDC. But some good that came from that is that now it’s a much more conscious decision for where I spend my energy, helps me keep my bandwidth intact.
Leela, I sometimes see you wishing you had different cadres in posts. I can tell from your comments that you have great qualities! Wishing to be different is a losing game. I reckon every cadre has its strengths and it’s minuses. Might you be a bit self critical at times? I think embrace what you’ve got goin’ on!
AV,
I’m a triple hybrid and I’m 50% Savior empath, 25% Carrier and 25% Geyser. The Savior and Geyser I think work together by giving me the guts to speak up and stand up to bullies, especially when I see them “attacking” someone else and when my Geyser anger is triggered. It’s an explosive mix and according to my husband, it’s no laughing matter and not cute at all. I recently figured out how my Savior and Geyser work together to make what I thought was a narcissist fury. I was relieved when HG gave me my results of the empath detector and it helped me understand what was going on with my anger and the level it was at.
Thanks HGxx
Hey Rebecca, I didn’t realize we’re so similar in our cadres, I have about 12 percentage points more Savior and less Geyser than you do, still very similar but I don’t think I’m a hybrid since I am over half on the Savior. Anyway, thanks for sharing! It is fun to see how the various parts work together, or not, isn’t it?