A Letter to the Narcissist : No. 121

Hey Doc. It’s been a while. Remember me? Of course, you do. You still watch me on social media, don’t you? It’s all right. No judgment there.

I know you’re happy to receive this letter, especially since we haven’t talked in three years. But also slightly wary, aren’t you? I don’t blame you. The last time I didsomething like this, I almost blew your façade. Don’t worry though. I’m not here fort hat. Believe it or not, I came back to thank you. Yeah, surprising, isn’t it?You tormented me for six years. The mere thought of you gave me panic attacks, nightmares. You crushed my self-esteem.

While my friends were enjoying their time as college students, I had to deal with your bullshit instead. I understand why you groomed me. A lonely, inexperienced minor who’s always online is an easy catch. But that wasn’t even the worst part. I hated your silent treatments the most. All the things you made me do just to get a crappy ‘how are you’ every now and then. Doyou know how many nights I spent imagining how I’d make you beg for myforgiveness? I thought I was losing my goddamn mind.

You essentially tortured the good girl in me into oblivion. And I thank you for that. See, SHE might have had some reservations about hurting your non-existent feelings. But me? Do you know how many narcs I’ve had to weed out from my circles? One NC here, one LC there. A narcissistic injury here, a bit of challenge fuel there, when I’m feeling generous. I’ve never felt freer in my life. And I would never have found my mentor or those narcs if it hadn’t been for you. I guess you were right about two things. One, I do deserve better than you. I’d introduce you to my husband, but you’d probably run away so (shrugs). Two, I am a samurai. And I’ll always help others fight your kind. You don’t scare me anymore.

Well, this has been nice, but it’s time to go back to the silent treatment. Oh and don’t bother replying, you’ll only hurt yourself. Toodles, Doc!

No longer yours,
Kira
P.S: What was your name again? I forgot.