Golden Opportunity
Failure creates opportunity. It creates the opportunity for you to learn. We know however that sitting you down and explaining your failure to you is far too easy. That will not lead to a correction in your behaviour and neither will it provide us with what we need. A quiet word in your ear, a gentle touch, the whisper of blame and the suggestion of reparation will not serve either of us. You must be punished for your failure and in doing so I create an opportunity for you to learn from that failure and in turn I grant you absolution. I must confess that I dole out the savage sanctions for your transgressions to serve my purposes but happily there is a benefit for you as well.
The negative fuel which I extract from you as a consequence of the chastisement which I visit upon you is entirely necessary. I must have it for if I do not I run the risk of being destroyed and this world needs people like me. We are the achievers, the creators and the builders who act with clarity of purpose, absolute vision and without the blurring nature and hampering effects of the emotional baggage which hinders others. We are needed to succeed, create industries, entertain the masses, achieve sporting perfection, compose the sublime, paint the ethereal and shine. Without us the world would be a lesser place and that is why we must always exist.
Your part in this does not go uncredited. If it were not for you and your kind then I would not receive the fuel, both positive and negative which is required in order for me to exist and fulfil my purpose. I need you. I may not like to admit that fact but it is a recognised one. I need your fuel and in return I provide you with a period of brilliance and then a period of correction to allow you to recognise the error of your ways. I cannot just tell you what you have done wrong, that would be too easy and you would not become a better person if the way forward was made too easy for you. The harshness of my teaching, the horror of my manipulations and the savage lectures are all for your own good.
It is only through such stern and disciplined admonishments that you will begin to understand and then you will find absolution. You will eventually, although the lessons may take some considerable time, years in numerous instances, come to understand what your role is. Not only will you understand your role but you will willingly accept that position as a sacrifice which you much make for the greater good. By acknowledging your role in submitting to us you will find absolution. You will begin to realise that the sacrifices you have made, of your self-worth, your confidence and your self-esteem have been worthwhile because they have helped fuel me and thus you have allowed me to exist.
Consider that, you are central to the existence of one such as I. You prove to be an integral part in enabling me to exist and function and in turn it is through your involvement that I am able to bring my brilliance to bear on the world. Such an involvement should be welcome by you and you ought to give thanks for being allowed to contribute, to participate and to be involved in this manner. You, through me, are able to create a lasting legacy. True, you must ensure considerable hardship in fulfilling this role but in doing so you become a better person, a worthwhile person and a useful person. Through the correction that I shall administer to you, you will suffer but then when has anything that has been worth doing been easy and pain-free? Never. I share that pain. Do you think it is easy having to garner fuel each and every day? Do you think it is easy leading, guiding and forging a new path, always moving forward? No, we all have our crosses to bear and mine is heavier than most, but I exhibit the fortitude and determination that I know you possess in order to ensure that you realise your true potential.
I chose you because I knew that you would ultimately do the right thing. I knew you would provide me with what I needed. I hoped that it would always be good but I also recognised that even if you failed me in that aspect of your role I could count on you to endure the hardship and the denigration because you wanted to help me, you wanted to realise the role which I secured for you. You wanted to succeed just as I have wanted you to succeed. I am a harsh taskmaster but you brought it on yourself. You failed and therefore you must be punished for this aberration, yet through this failure you can redeem yourself. You can exhibit your true worth and make amends for your failings, your shortcomings and your betrayal. I know you can do this because that is why I chose you. I know you can do this because I can see it in you. I know you can do this because I will make you, no matter what and against whatever odd, achieve this. I only have your best interests at heart, even if my tongue and fists may seem to tell you to the contrary.
You will not like me because I am hard but it is this hardness which means that you will learn much from me. You will realise your potential and you will always strive, driven on by me, with my encouragement, harsh as it may seem, to achieve that is right for me, for the world and ultimately through that you will achieve your absolution.
17 thoughts on “Golden Opportunity”
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“Note to the narcissists of my past, I ‘absolve’ myself from the ‘bonds’ with yourselves, I did not deserve any ‘punishment’ that you dished out on me, I am not guilty, I have no obligation to ‘abide’ to your “rules” any more.
Note to narcissists in my future, it is without guilt, without obligation to yourselves, I am obliged to remember what I have learned about narcissism, I owe it to myself and other people that I support in the future. I give you your control, I retain my power.”
Sounds very much like a contract! Me to myself! Amused and not surprised myself re-reading what I wrote 🙂
Dearest Asp Emp,
‘Bond’ is the bind! It’s also the chains ⛓️
You hit the nail in the head there lovely
Well delivered …… thank you !
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Thank you for your words, Bubbles xx
Always look forward to reading your comments Asp Emp 🥰
Absolution = formal release from guilt, obligation, or punishment (Oxford Languages).
You know when you have reached this point on your journey of removing the effects of past narcissistic abuse by understanding the affects and reducing the impact it once had on your emotions and thoughts.
Commenting previously……
“You will achieve your absolution” – everyone who has been subject to narcissistic abuse has every right to say to themselves “I am not guilty for being addicted to narcissism, as long as I manage my emotional thinking. I am no longer ‘obliged’ to my addiction to narcissism, I must refrain from allowing my ET to ‘con’ me again and I must no longer ‘punish’ myself for being addicted to narcissism in the first place”.
Dearest Asp Emp,
Easier said than done . I like to agree, however, it’s never ending whilst they are still in your life. Hence, my mother.
My mum is playing on me, even in aged care. It’s bloody hard !
I act tough, come home and crumble . Even Mr Bubbles finds it difficult and crumbles with me! We both sit and analyse after seeing mum … what the ????
Emotional thinking is extremely hard to manage …. just saying
If only I was Meghan Markle 🤣
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Hello Bubbles 🙂 Lovely to hear from you 🙂 Bless you (and your husband). Surely you can both discuss ways of reducing the number of times you visit the parental narcissist, even the telephone calls (if any)? Considering that you’d save putting yourselves through the emotional upsets, save money on travel costs, have more time (and money) to spend on yourselves instead (you & husband) – just be selfish, you have given parental narcissist enough. You owe it to yourselves as a couple 🙂 Regards to you both xx
Dearest Asp Emp,
I hear ya lovely. Seeing as I’m the only one she has…..I also do her washing, so I need to go every second day minimum. Unfortunately, aged care places wreak havoc with one’s washing, clothes come out discoloured, go walkies and then there’s the cost of the service involved. Plus she’s had a some dental and health issues where I’ve had to take her out and it ends up taking most of the day.
She’s not on the phone cos she can’t use one 😂
We brought her home for a coffee and bikky the other day and the FIRST thing that comes out of her mouth is …. “Where’s your photos of me?” 😂
Overall, I can handle her pretty well, but some days she can be so frustrating and the constant ‘me me me’ since she’s been there has been as frustrating as hell. By crumble, I mean we fall into a heap …..mentally exhausted.
Yesterday, she was participating in mini golf and as soon as we she saw us, she yelled out in front of everyone, thank god you’re here, get me outta here, will you”. Her tears have increased, she’s playing on her neediness and she’s constantly asking why she can’t live with us.
The whole process from her falls to hospital to aged care is very taxing!
So for anyone about to go thru this process of the narc going into aged care, just be prepared as they ramp it up 100% including making up more stories. We know a couple of the workers there, everyone is kind, caring and so accommodating.
Thank you for your kind concern Asp Emp, you’re a real sweetie ☺️
I have to keep reminding myself (our dear ol friend used to tell me constantly) …..”you’re better than you think you are” …. that’ll do pig, that’ll do! 🐽 la la la
😂
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Hello Bubbles 🙂
OMG, the washing! Can’t she bathe in her clothes and do 2 jobs at once?! 😉 When I was at boarding school, all our clothes (including the standard school underwear!!!) had our names on labels stitched on in some place on the item of clothing. Hahahaha, my name is long, fooking long labels too!! I bet that the parental narcissist enjoyed sewing all of those (took her longer than other parents!!) hahahaha. Surely you can suggest going in to do the washing 4 days apart, I mean, 2 days is quite often?
She is a total pain in the backside and I applaud you for having to deal with that. How embarrassing to shout in front of other people like that. I hated it when parental narcissist did that to me – applying the negative, belittling in public.
Yes, the line from ‘Babe’ 🙂 Bless you, your comments are always a pleasure to read, Bubbles 🙂 xx
Dearest Asp Emp,
Haha I wish (regards the washing)
I luv the fact your mum had to hand sew the long name labels. That would’ve been a real bitch. Haha
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
🙂 xx
Dearest Asp Emp,
Yesterday…
mum ranted on about everyone being so horrible and insinuated they are all bullies.
“I’m so angry, I want to slap them across the face”
“How DARE they speak to me and treat me they way they do …..a person of my age … no respect whatsoever !!! “
She is one angry matrinarc right now ! 🤬
Fun fun fun !!!
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Oh, Bubbles. Did at any time, you ‘switch off’ and when she stopped speaking, turn round to her and say “I wasn’t listening, I got distracted with thinking about important things I have to do” and with that, tra-la-la out of the room? 😉 At least, I have the “excuse” to say that my hearing aid batteries have gone flat (hahaha). Matrinarc is going to get worse but, whatever you do, do not give in to her. Stay strong 🙂 xx
Dearest Asp Emp,
Mr Bubbles can’t believe the way she’s carrying on, he doesn’t want to visit her the way she is
I shall take your advice and give it a try
Maybe I’ll wear ear pods 😆
Thank you lovely, as always 🥰
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Bubbles, I understand how difficult it can be to not instinctively respond as a daughter to parental narcissist. I do not blame your husband for his ‘decision’. If you can, mentally prepare yourself before you go and see her, I am sure your husband can help with that. He sounds like a really good man, is a really good support for you and I am glad that he embraces HG’s work while working with you along the ‘journey’. That parental narcissist is in good hands where she is, so that should assist you further to reduce the need to go and see her. If it really gets too much, do consider talking with HG 🙂 I am sorry that you have so much on xx
Dearest Asp Emp,
Thank you
🤗🤗🤗
Luv Bubbles xx 😘