Knowing the Narcissist : Own




I want to own you.

I want to draw you into my world. A world where my rules are the only rules that matter. When I first set eyes on you I make it my business to ascertain your suitability for ownership. You might only be owned in the sense of being a tertiary source which I interact with the once, but in that moment, I own you and I own the fuel that flows from you.

I wish to brand you as my property. My appliance. My plaything. I own you and this means that nobody else does. I have exclusive rights.

I may designate you the role of secondary source, should you make the grade and you become mine, subject to the unwritten contract that governs you and I. You are to be loyal, obedient, compliant and a provider of fuel.

If you are to be my primary source, that coveted position of supplier-in-chief of the most precious and desired fuel then you also must be owned. You must be subjected to my total and hegemonic control. Once I decide that you are the one, I will not stop. Once that light has turned green, once the first tantalising drops of your fuel have begun to be sucked up by me, there is no hope for anything else.

You must be mine. I must own you.

You at think that I look on you with love-lorn eyes. Indeed I do as I turn my precious orbs into the mirrors which give you what you want to see. Behind their silvery gaze, my machined machinations are forming. I am absorbing how you smile, how your wrinkle your nose, how you play with your hair on the left hand side of your head, never the right. I listen to the way you say ‘scone’ – do you say it so it rhyme with tone or with gone? Every word that will come from your mouth will belong to me. I want to know everything about you. Every facet of your life must now belong to me. When my hand touches you and you feel that jolt of electricity between you, that is my connection with you as I begin to download your life.

It is true that I have already screened you, probed your life from a distance, made enquiries and observed before launching my take-over bid. I have done my homework but now I want to dominate, conquer and subsume. I must envelop you in my world for then I can be sure that you will respond as I require. Loyal, reliable and functional.

Steadily I drain your identity from you, consuming it for my own use. This is part of the process of owning you. I know no boundaries, I see no limits, I recognise no restraint. I have decided that you are to belong to me and thus this is what must happen with the steady and incremental accumulation of what you are. I am plugged into you, the ultimate parasite which sucks the life from you. Your money becomes my money, your house becomes my house, your friends become my appliances. There is no real me. There is no substance and thus I must steal what you are in order to give the appearance of substance.

The only way I understand to do this is to own you. Make you part of the fabricated world that I have woven. This dazzling fiction fools so readily and as I part the curtain and beckon you in to my wonder land, you accept and once inside you become mine. The real world is left behind. The real world of rules, standards, procedures and fairness is no longer applicable to you. I own you now and as a consequence you are subject to my capricious nature, the arbitrary application of my diktats and pronouncements. None of it will make any sense to you when you start to realise what is happening but it will be too late by then. You assimilation into me will be so far gone that you may just well scream and the only voice you will hear will be mine.

My ownership means I tell you who to speak to and who to ignore. My ownership means that dress is wrong and that one is right until it is the other way around. Yesterday is tomorrow which becomes today. You think Josef K endured the Kafkaesque nightmare of nothing making sense? You ain’t seen nothing yet.

I must control everything. My space, time and the environment around you. This is why to you I seem to operate as if I have no concept of time, but that is because I do not operate to Greenwich Mean Time but rather Being Mean Time. I compartmentalise, shifting between worlds which must never connect, where the players and actors inside of them move to my direction. They dance to the tune that my invisible pipe plays. I must not leave anything to chance. I do not like chance. It is the ruin of me. I want predictable and eventually you will come to realise that there are few who are as predictable as my kind. We bring excitement, we bring chaos, we bring drama but it is all so predictable. The same manipulations, just variations on a theme. Some of us have more string to our dark cupid’s bow, but the poisoned arrows we fire all have the same effects. Control and fuel.

It is only by ensuring that we own you that we can be assured and convinced that you will do as we want you to, that you will not be disloyal or a traitor to us. We must plug you in to us and like some giant leech suck the very essence from you, taking your fuel, your confidence, your self-worth, your self-esteem and stripping you of them to ensure there is compliance and obedience.

I want to own so that I know I will win. I want to own you so I can exist.

I want to own you so that everything you do is as consequence of my decisions and my actions which ensure you provide me with my lifeblood whenever I demand it. You are on call and on demand, my primary source of salvation, the reason for my existence and I dare not allow the slightest chink of autonomy for fear of losing that control.

I want to own you to underline my superiority. I want to own you to remind myself that I am powerful. I want to own you so that it is repeatedly highlighted that I am the controller.

I want to own you to stop being the slave that I am.

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18 thoughts on “Knowing the Narcissist : Own

  1. alexissmith2016 says:

    “I want to own you to stop being the slave that I am.”

    I do rather like this sentence. It was incredibly brave of you to write this HG.

    1. A Victor says:

      Hi Alexissmith,
      Brave or a manipulation? I have not been able to decide. A brave manipulation? I like it also, it seems honest. But every time I think like that, I learn my thinking is incorrect because of what I know, which is that it’s all manipulations. Nice to see you write this, since I have a lot of respect for your perspective and understanding, maybe it is simply an honest statement, to aid in our understanding.

      1. Joa says:

        I think, the last sentence is just neatly used words.

        The goal – “shake the reader” in the punch line. “Keep” the reader on point.

        Very well.
        Very well.


        The text is beautiful. The last sentence ruins everything – from my perspective. I didn’t understand that sentence, when I first read it. On the next ones, I thought it stood out from the rest. Does not fit.

        From the perspective of Narcissus – a good catch.

        Yes or no? 🙂

      2. Alexissmith2016 says:

        Interesting AV, what makes you think it’s a manipulation? I’m intrigued for sure. I feel I have gained a fair amount of knowledge, (I don’t always bloody apply it though haha) although when I read comments from others, I do sometimes think I’ve missed the point sometimes. So I really am intrigued that you considered it a manipulation. For me, I’m unable to see that as anything but sn honest statement based on what HG has taught us.

        1. A Victor says:

          Hi AS, I am only going by what I’ve learned from HG, everything they do is a manipulation. This comment pulls at the heartstrings, for me anyway. In my mind, I connect that feeling with manipulation, similar to Heavy Lies the Crown and others like it. But, I also see what you say as possibly what this is, an honest statement for our learning. On reading your comment, I was encouraged that it is so. I’ll ask him, fingers crossed… 🙂

          HG, would this line, “I want to own you to stop being the slave that I am.” be a manipulation or an honest statement for our learning, or a combination?

          1. HG Tudor says:

            An honest statement and a manipulation are not mutually exclusive.

          2. A Victor says:

            HG, thank you for the answer. I should’ve known that…I do again now.

          3. alexissmith2016 says:

            AV thanks for asking, and this is why your learning and application is far better than mine 🙂 I need to be a better student, I’m sloppy one. Yikes as I type this I’m thinking I sound like I’m manipulating. I’m not. I absolutely know I don’t apply all I learn, only what suits me hahah and I am scruffy in my approach, will only read/listen to what I want to, which despite knowing the MM series would aide my understanding I am just so disinterested in her I can rarely bring myself to. I think I was a better student in the early days maybe?

          4. A Victor says:

            Haha AS, I did not feel manipulated at all! I think you are very lucky to have a normal husband, if I remember right, and therefore maybe don’t need to adhere as closely. But, you were half right, as I was also, we met in the middle! 🙂

            I was better in the early days also, I suspect that is somewhat normal. And probably dangerous for someone single, like myself.

        2. Leigh says:

          Hi Alexis,
          I had some thoughts on this and I hope you don’t mind me sharing. My first thought was that I remember Mr. Tudor saying in a comment that every single word and every single action from a narcissist is a manipulation. My interpretation of that is even if its an honest statement, its still a benign manipulation. The second thought I had was that not all articles are written from Mr. Tudor’s perspective as the Ultra. Some of the articles are written from the perspective of the Greater, Mid Range or Lesser narcissist. So even if its an honest statement, it might not be from Mr. Tudor but rather from a Mid Range narcissist.

          1. HG Tudor says:


          2. says:

            Yes, you’re right Leigh. Mostly I can see when the articles are written from a narc perspective but not necessarily HG’s as an Ultra. However, with this, I felt there was still some truth in it. Whilst he is an Ultra, the Ultra and the Greaters still require fuel and therefore I had felt this statement was really the voice of all Ns. They are a slave to fuel. I do agree though that it is a benign manipulation which I hadn’t appreciated.

          3. Leigh says:

            Reading your comment sparked a memory. I had asked Mr. Tudor a similar question last year on this same article. Per Mr. Tudor’s response to me, you’re correct that its the voice of all narcs, including Mr. Tudor. Thank you for the reminder.


      3. Anna says:

        It kind of reminds me of that song by ABBA. “I’m a marionette”
        The lyrics kind of fit this entry.

        To be fair all of us are under control to some extend. It is sad that narcissists need to control others to feel safe. If they loose that sense of control their whole world will crumble beneath them.

      4. Jordyguin says:

        Vic, I agree with you, it’s a tricky phrase.. No one is a slave here.. not really.

  2. Joa says:

    One of my favorite texts. Always sounds to me like the most beautiful love confession 🙂

    I love being “owned”.

    As long as I want it.

    1. Contagious says:

      Or Rihanna’s lie to me, I love it.

    2. Truthseeker6157 says:

      Have to say Joa, I can find the concept of being owned quite sexy if I’m honest.

      I think it’s my romanticised version of it though. “I own you and this means that nobody else does.” Mmmm. I think it’s that part of it rather than the rest. That translates to me as being someone’s whole world, it’s very much being placed on that pedestal but I think also it’s to do with protection. It’s very alpha, a bit caveman haha!

      I definitely am drawn to the strong male persona. I like the idea of being protected by the bad guy who is bad to all but me because I view it as true protection. Sensibly though, what am I wanting protection from? Do I feel threatened? No. Am I a nervous person? No. Do I feel that I can protect myself, hell yeah I do! So what’s with the desire for protection?

      There’s definitely a draw in the ownership idea. Maybe it’s the primeval ‘ choose the partner that best ensures the safety of my offspring’ element. The baddest badass to protect my brood.

      Maybe I’m more basic than I like to think.


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