Knowing the Narcissist : The Super Empath
89 thoughts on “Knowing the Narcissist : The Super Empath”
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In real life I find it pretty fascinating how other fellow-Empaths react when the Super draws the line in the sand and says: “No! I won´t play along! I won´t do THIS! THEY CAN KISS MY ASS!”. I observed fear and shock in my fellow-Empaths. “How can she do this?” Like you have committed a crime. I had the impression that they don´t dare to go against the mainstream. I had the impression that they perceived going with the mainstream as right and empathic and drawing the line in the sand was probably kind of “a crime”, “rebellious” or something like this. I saw the fear in them. But I also thought they´re a bit “gullible”, I personally perceived this as “too gullible”. It´s good to believe in the good in people but for me there´s a limit. A kind of a tipping point, which other schools of Empaths probably don´t have. To me, it was SO OBVIOUS! It was BIG BULLSHIT ALERT! I did not understand how fellow-Empaths could not see the HUGE bullshit! I did not discuss with them. I had the feeling they cannot handle the truth, they cannot deal with the cold hard facts. I had the feeling it´s “too much” for them. This goes not only for 2020-2022 but also for other situations. Sometimes, I have the feeling that some pepole just DO NOT WANNA see the bullshit (no matter what it is). This goes for romantic or platonic relationships as well. My mom DOES NOT WANT TO see the BIG BULLSHIT from Patri Narc. I don´t discuss with her. It makes no sense. Just wanted to stress the difference H.G. explains in his video.
What is your percentage Super, Leela, may I ask. I know you have Carrier cadre as well. Do you have any other schools and cadres as well?
I´m over 60 % Super (the rest Standard) and over 60 % Carrier, the rest Geyser and Saviour. That´s it. 😂
Leela
Hi Leela.
Are you concerned that suggesting Supers are somehow more aware than others or less gullible could to come across as disrespectful to other empaths on the site? If I didn’t have Super I’d probably feel disrespected. You may say you don’t care about hurt feelings but I think it’s important to see that potential.
That said, I am Super, and majority, like you. And I still have reservations about some of your comments. I don’t want Supers to be thought of by other empaths as lacking in consideration or compassion because I don’t think Supers necessarily are like that. Super empaths can be assertive and prepared to state an opinion but I don’t think it has to come with ‘screw you, I don’t care what you think, it’s all bullshit.’ I don’t think that’s a Super response, per se.
However, Supers are high in narcissistic traits and while some of them, like confidence and assertiveness, are worth being proud of, others, like aggressiveness or paranoia or defensiveness or argumentativeness or selfishness are less great. I asked you how much super you had because I wondered if you were really high, as in 80 or 90%, because I thought maybe that could be why you saw things differently to me. But we have very similar percentages. And even if you had more Super, you’d also have much stronger empathy with it. I’ve seen you show empathy to other readers and you’re really good at it. So I know you are empathic and it makes sense that both you and other Supers would have a mix of empathic traits and narcissistic traits. You and I probably have similar amounts of empathic and narcissistic traits.
It might be cadres rather than your schools driving some of your reactions. Having geyser you would be more inclined to show emotion (including frustration or anger). And if no magnet came up you’re probably not as concerned about social harmony and ensuring everyone is comfortable. I can see how other factors more associated with Carrier (such as doing what you think is necessary or right) would take priority.
I don’t have as much carrier as you, but to me it’s an urge to do what’s right and correct, even if that means someone might disagree. That may be how yours is working too.
“Are you concerned that suggesting Supers are somehow more aware than others or less gullible could to come across as disrespectful to other empaths on the site? If I didn’t have Super I’d probably feel disrespected.”
This is why I put the “gullible” in inverted commas. I´m not native English speaker, really don´t know the right word for that one, maybe just “we believe in the good in people to a lesser degree” or something? 😉
I think the simple explanation to your question could be my main narcissistic trait (according to TDC) and that is: DEFIANCE!!! I can be VERY defiant, especially when I´m in trouble or pain. Another possible explanation is the significant Geyser minority trait, yes.
And yes, I am aware that it CAN be offensive to other empaths. I am in fact ZERO concerned about social harmony, because it got ZERO percent Magnet. Meh. 😔
And we do not want to forget, that 2020-2022 made me STRONG and HARD! Steel-hard!!! I had to endure A LOT because I did not take “it” 💉 I had to be STRONG and HARD! To be honest: In 2021 I stopped caring about social harmony, I stopped caring about what others think of me, I stopped caring about being offensive or not, it´s ALL about survival (of the fittest). They (most everyday people in my country) spit on us, they berated us, they excluded us and you know what? They can f* themselves and kiss my a*!! I stopped caring, because they didn´t care either. I became HARD!
Does this somehow make sense?
And the short version for the case H.G. doesn´t let me comment through: My main narcissitic trait (TDC) is DEFIANCE! 2020-2022 made me HARD AS A ROCK! I´m one of those who did not take “it”. We, who refused “it” had to endure A LOT! That made me HARD and STRONG! Empathy is definitely eroded! Yes. It´s not fully there, because of what “they” do to us now!
Another example: The “greedflation” over here (and elsewhere). So many people cannot afford decent food anymore (Empathy for all those people)!! I can, but I DON´T WANT TO (Solidarity!!) Justice!!!!! I´m not supporting their greed! I don´t buy their SHIT! They can kiss my a… (defiance! boiling anger!!!). Empathy is not fully here, because I have to do what has to be done! Rebel against “them”!! DEFY them!! Interestingly, at the same time, I help as many people as I can in real life! The rest, the mainstream-believers, who think that I am “offensive” or “a criminal” or “a rebel” (you name it!) can kiss my ….. (guess what?). 😂
I can definitely see your defiance. What was your top empathic trait, can I ask.
Additional information: NO Magnet at all, only Carrier, significant Geyser minority and Saviour! That´s all. Everything else completely missing. No other schools than Super and Standard. Everything else completely missing. Love devotee trait completely missing! Excellent listener trait completely missing. Main empathic traits: Truthseeker and Justice! Main narcissistic traits: defiance and pride.
Thanks Leela. I can see evidence of all these traits in your posts. I haven’t done the TD, but I probably have similar empathic strengths to you. A desire for justice and finding the the truth drives a lot of my decisions and actions. Yet we hold opposite views on several issues. The truths that I find are different to the truths you find. What feels like justice to me feels like injustice to you. We are possibly pursuing what feels right to us rather than any absolutely objective truth.
Maybe the truth is something in between? 🤷♀️ Who knows? We will see in a couple of years probably. Yes, the evidence for my main traits is more than obvious. 😂 But I´m perfectly cool with other views and opinions. I have no right to force my own views on other people and as already mentioned, I´ve drawn the line in the sand long time ago, so my narcissistc part said: “I don´t care anymore” because it just makes no sense. I walked away and didn´t look back, just hoping the best for them. 🤷♀️
Hi Leela,
I agree with your comment, Empaths that don’t have Super, or as much Super, are sometimes concerned and baffled by the drawing the line in the sand and the actions that follow. I have seen this also and hoped at times that they would learn from it, sometimes, often even, it is right and necessary to take care of ourselves even if someone else may not like it. Having only very strong Super, the rest being standard, I may tolerate bad behavior longer than you would, or not depending on the situation. Not having CoD I think is a huge difference in this. The CoD majority likely may hang on the longest and see the Super line as a bit horrifying, depending on their specific blend. I don’t know for certain. Strengths to each and also vulnerabilities to each. Being mixed with different other schools and Cadres will affect things. Anyway, I get where you’re coming from, have seen it myself.
100 % agree! I have seen this in real life! Those with CoD-parts and only low or no Super parts may hang on longer or go with the flow because they think: This is right. They just trust people much more than Supers do. Found out (as non-native English speaker) that “gullible” is an insult, so I just say that they may just trust more than Supers do. They believe more in the “good in people”, they may trust others and authorities more and question less. They try longer to “make it right”. And then comes the Super and says: “NO! ENOUGH! This is rubbish” Of course many are offended, suprised, shocked! But for many this is no wake up call. For many this is something like “rebellious” or even “outrageous”! For some everything has to be “peace, love, harmony” but this is not always possible. Somtimes you have to fight fire with fire! And I do whatever I can to defy those Greaters there, who invested their money in X, Y or Z! Okay, so, I will never buy products X, Y or Z again! Ever! I have a couple of companies and shops on my “black list”. 😂
I have Walmart and Starbucks on my black list.
I luv IKEA. It’s where I’m writing from as-we-speak.
Oh and by the way, talking about bullshit detectors: I´m unvaxxed and PROUD! 😉👍Lost two friends as a consequence of the jab, many got sick, some have suffered long-term damages. Well. Hope everybody here is safe and healthy!
I’ve not commented on till now but your post with with what I view as anti vaccine propaganda has pushed me to do so because i am concerned you are currently using narcsite as a platform for your personal political statements.
Your older posts about people in your life or your personal experiences or support of others were varied, engaging and interesting. You were just a person managing the narcissists in your personal life, as are many readers here.
Now, many of your posts are not only political but inflammatory. There may be readers here who have lost people they know or love to Covid or who have very different opinions to you on vaccinations. There may be readers here who have very different opinions about Russia and the US. When see your avatar with your Russian flag and Z on it I find it confronting. I also find it out of place on a blog which is a social discussion site about narcissism with a wide variety of people from around the world. It undermines the experience I have of this site and I wonder if it also undermines the experience of other readers.
I am aware that my posts or my awatar might be offensive some people. Do I care? NO! Sorry.
By the way: Caught COVID too. It was a common cold. 🤣 I´m not afraid to tell people right into their faces that they are being conned, cheated on, lied to! I´m VERY frank! If someone has a problem with that: It´s THEIR problem!
What you may see as frank it’s
Alright. Let me tell you something: I´m a professional. I have read ALL the pre clinical and clinical studies, clinical studies belong to what I call “my daily bread and butter”. No, I´m not anti-vaxx, not at all, but a BIG fan of carrying out clinical studies and study analysis PROPERLY 😉 and a big fan of honesty, GLP (good laboratory practice) and GCP (good clinical practice). I´m from the Carrier cadre: If someone wants to discuss with me, I´m happy to deliver facts, figures, statistics and studies. 👍 If you have any questions: Please feel free to ask. 👍
This is not the place for a debate about COVID and vaccinations.
Sorry sensei H.G! 😉Won´t do it again. 👼
Dear Mr Tudor,
If I may ….
we were not allowed to enter ‘aged care’ to see our ‘dear ol friend or visit my mother, if we were not vaccinated! Most of the people WE know who ‘doth protest too much’ against vaccinations have very high narcissist traits.
When life started to return to some sort of normality, the staunch ‘non vaccinated’ HAD to get a shot or two (and yet still complain about it) just to go to self indulgent activities eg the theatre, art gallery etc. One male I know who is a self proclaimed narcissist, isn’t allowed to lecture in university because he refuses to be vaccinated …..still!
Visiting our ‘dear ol friend’ and being able to look after my mother was more important.
I would say, that anti-vaxxers are mostly people, who needed to stand out, stand out above other people, bored or frustrated with their lives. They intensively propagated the idea, that they know more, that they see more, that they are smarter, more insightful and better than other people – in one word.
Interestingly, in my country and neighboring countries – anti-vaccine ideas were propagated by… the Russians (long before the start of the war). All the anti-vaccine groups, I followed, were smuggling slogans about the saviors of nations: Trump and Putin. All of them focused on alleged Nazism, experiments on children, pedophilia, underground corridors for many kilometers through which human organs are transported, and the worst atrocities that allegedly took place in Ukraine. So the ground was being prepared for obvious – already today – plans.
Currently, anti-vaccine groups are very pro-Russian.
They are the largest international sects of the modern world.
My friend’s sister left her husband, left behind three children, meets only men from the anti-vaccine group (goes from hand to hand), isolated herself and changed her life following these “ideas” (rubbish and nonsense). She thinks, that people and society are blind, ONLY SHE and her group are enlightened people.
It’s very sad to see. Contagion with such ideas is also very dangerous – some of these people are like ticking bombs – they are willing to sacrifice themselves for these meaningless ideas.
The Russians know how to grind people’s brains beautifully. And it must be admitted, that they know how to take advantage of any situation or fake it.
Dearest Joa,
Whoa…..I did not know that, especially with the Russians, scarey!
Constantly learning here.
Thank you Joa. 💕
Annaamel, it is a free world, free speech, if HG allows it through, it’s been approved. Doesn’t undermine me in any way, I can agree, disagree, write my thoughts or not, no problem. Fwiw, Leela is amazing. I don’t have to agree with her politically, or conversely I can, to see that. She has brought much to the blog and I personally am thankful to her for that.
If I had my way, which I don’t, I would put restrictions on certain people here but Leela would not be one of them.
AV,
The Z is associated with the events that have taken place in Ukraine since the Feb 22 invasion. The letter implies support for Russia and its domination of Ukraine.
From Wikipedia:
‘Due to its association with the war in Ukraine, the Z has become a militarist symbol in Russian propaganda and is used by Russian civilians to indicate support for the invasion. The symbol has subsequently been banned from public display in various countries, and its use has been criminalized by several European governments.’
It is banned in several countries because it’s considered offensive and provocative. It promotes the notion that Ukrainians deserve to have their country invaded and their citizens deserve to be be abused.
Annasmel, how did my previous comment to you indicate in any way that I needed a lesson on global politics? No need to answer that, I recognize that it was not my comment that brought this about but rather your arrogance at play.
Hi AV,
‘Annasmel, how did my previous comment to you indicate in any way that I needed a lesson on global politics?’
This part:
‘Annaamel, it is a free world.’
and this part:
‘Doesn’t undermine me in any way’
The words I’d used in my comment to Leela were ‘It undermines the experience I have of this site and I wonder if it also undermines the experience of others’ and I was thinking of those who may be more personally affected by the war. You said it didn’t undermine you rather than your experience but it wasn’t Americans I had in mind. I can understand it not affecting you.
I also wanted to highlight that it’s not a ‘free world’ in terms of the ‘z’ and it’s banned in many countries due to its perception as a hate symbol. Citizens of those countries can want info on narcissism like anyone else and if they read this blog they may not want to see the flag and Z combination.
‘No need to answer that,’
Whilst I realise it was rhetoric rather than curiosity I decided I’d answer it because I don’t feel like I should need to take instruction on whether I can or can’t or should or shouldn’t answer a question.
‘I recognize that it was not my comment that brought this about but rather your arrogance at play.’
No, it was your comment.
I understand it’s hard to avoid my posts yet reading them seems to frustrate and/or disappoint you, because I’m not posting the way you wish me to. You may even view me as the most problematic poster on narcsite. I can’t do much to stop you feeling this way (given this is my personality) so instead I’ll say just please go for it and if you feel you must identify me as narcissistic, have at that, too.
I knew you couldn’t resist. I don’t read comments by several people, yours here only because it was with Leela, whom I respect. You are not worth my time to identify.
annaamel,
“It is banned in several countries because it’s considered offensive and provocative. It promotes the notion that Ukrainians deserve to have their country invaded and their citizens deserve to be be abused.”
Thank you for making this point and for highlighting Ukrainian citizens and Ukraine as a country.
Exactly THIS! I unfortnately have to say: This WAS a free country here. Once. We HAD democracy. Once! However, I´m still a big fan of democracy and I don´t have to agree with everybody and people don´t have to agree with me. Eventually, after 2020-2022 I´m happy to see that many people are okay and healthy and I´m sorry for those, who got damaged and I´m sorry for the next of kin of those who had to leave this world (for whatever reason). But what should I feel for those, who got damaged but berated me when I tried to warn them? What should I say? What should I feel? My empathic part feels sorry, but my narcissistic part says: “it´s their own fault”. 50:50! I don´t know. 🤷♀️
Aw! NOW I get the WHOLE thing: I normally just read the posts which are for me, often don´t have time to read the whole discussion. Aw, get it, what all this is about. So well: Why I don´t care? Because I have drawn the line in the sand years ago! I know that it makes no sense to care and to discuss. I´m already used to be berated for presenting just cold, hard logic, facts and figures no matter what topic! Eventually, you just get berated or in the best case, seen as the “crazy one”. Fine with me. So be it, if they say so. 😂Not my problem! 🤷♀️
I am also unvaxxed. Not a single jab, and I worked through the entire pandemic driving for Uber/Lyft, meeting and talking to countless random strangers less than two feet away. I did wear the mandatory mask but only because it was mandatory for the job, and because I’ve already gone through a mild-to-medium Covid in January before it was announced in March.
I didn´t do it, because as a “professional” I just used plain and simple logic, no “bullshit detector” needed, just cold, hard logic, facts and studies. I´m no guinea pig 😉
Ha ha ha… Lol, of course you’re not a guinea pig. 🙂
As it turns out, CDC lied and people died. Again.
I’ve documented months of CDC trying to sweep the whole pandemic under the rug for as long as they could until they couldn’t hide it under respirative lung failures due to vaping or red level of a flu.
As it turns out they are lying again about the success of vaccines. Their leaked internal emails show they knew these vaccines would be ineffective, but they went along with it as a crisis management strategy.
Climate change is another crisis management strategy to deal with naturally occurring global warming that 20,000 years ago first melted glaciers, and which continues to naturally increase the temperature of the Earth by the increasing temperature of the Sun.
Scientific studies that are dismissed (hidden) by a majority scientific consensus show clearly it is the Sun behind global warming, not human activity.
Good to know as I have a minority super. So I could go supernova. If triggered… interesting that ultras like them the best. HG gives information on what makes a COD but not contagious or super. I love his insights. Crave more.
Mighty fine people if you’re lucky enough to find any.
Thank you, that’s so nice.
Your slime.
No doubt they hide when they see some people coming.
Russian bots are getting sophisticated.
..but Mid Rangers …. not so much 😉😁
I have not taken the ED survey, but I suspect strong Super. The relationship pattern is very repetitive. In the first three months, I will notice a series of one offs in behavior. Then in the third month, they will say or do something that makes my blood run cold and all of the one offs connect to form a pattern. At that point it is time to take on the appearance of wallpaper.
This is a message for Susan.
Hi Susan. I thought I’d check in to see how you’re going after your conversation (if that is the best word) in the other thread. You suggested you wouldn’t be checking that one any further so I decided to put a message here. After reading that thread I felt pretty sure there was a significant super side to you, even though I hadn’t seen it before. I remembered responding to you in a different thread and tracked it down. In it you mentioned a super saviour empath – and so that must be what your profile is. I hope I’m correct.
Did you see this recent video on the super empath?
By the way: It´s exactly the years of abuse of our people by the government (and the United Snakes, ..oops excuse me, I mean United States😜), my strongest empathic trait (truthseeker) and my highly sensitive bullshit detector which lead me to the “Z”. NEVER EVER had beef with Russia but ALWAYS being abused and controlled by the United Snakes .. oh pardon, States. 👼
Your nonsense detector is heavily infected and out of touch with reality.
I am full of admiration for your empathy in supporting the “military operation”, the army of thugs, bandits, perverts, thieves and primitivism that goes far beyond the framework of humanity.
🤣 Thank you for your feedback. I accept your opinion of course. But when you study the WHOLE history of all this mess, then ..well, you find out who is behind all this shit! But if you prefer to believe the offical narrative … well, then, please go ahead! You will see ..
Girl, what are you telling me about narratives here? People die there…
I know the Russians all too well, they had one foot in my country for several decades. Large-scale theft, a caricature of “national pride”, primitive slogans, intimidation with a supposedly friendly smile on the lips and constant repression – we were not even allowed to speak (aloud, because quietly everyone in solidarity we whispered to each other). We managed to eradicate this hypocritical trash from our country and I wish the same to neighboring Ukraine.
And for the Russians only one message: пошёл вон!
You’ve lived enough on other nations. Take care of yourself, in your own territory.
I´m sorry for your bad experience with Russians. So, I guess you may be also an Eastern European or an Eastern German? You don´t have to anwser this, but I hear you! I hear you because we make the same experience with the United Snakes! We never ever had beef with Russians. But I get your point. i get it where you “come from”, same as me, but just from the “opposite site” so to speak. But you know what? I remember democracy. When I was a child/teenager, there was democracy in the country I lived back than and I am a HUGE fan of it. Democracy means to me also: accepting the view and opinion of the other person. I completely understand your point of view and respect it, but I personally say: The United Snakes are the WORST of them all! They´re ALL narcissists and psychopath – you only got to choose your “favorite”. 😉
By the way: Thank you for the “girl” 😉 I´m not exactly a “girl” anymore, but took it as a compliment. And I´m not Russian.
So you were lucky – I survived my childhood in a socialist country – feeling the boot of the Russians. Much could be said about our mutual “friendship” and “brotherhood of nations” (in which no one believed), paid for by poverty, hunger, isolation and oppression of our citizens.
By supporting “Z”, you may also have the dubious “honour” of feeling the “friendship” of the Russians.
I have nothing against Americans. Yes, we have a slightly different mentality, but it’s a matter of a slightly different lifestyle. Americans do not “fraternize” with us falsely – like the Russians – and they keep an appropriate boundary in relations.
Yesterday I listened to Putin’s speech at the Russian Security Council. He devoted a lot of time to Poland. He laid out his own version of our country’s history – improbable lies. And then he commented on the fact of redeploying two additional brigades of the Polish army at the eastern border of our country (among others in response to the location of the Wagner Group in Belarus, 6 kilometers from our border) – as proof that Poland is attacking Russia and intends to occupy Ukraine (ha, ha, ha!). In fact, once again, he has clearly laid out his plan for Ukraine, which he attributes to another nation.
Putin also made an appeal to the rulers of my country. I liked the succinct answer of one of my country’s ministers: “All the time the same fairy tales, Putin is a Kremlin bore.”
I mentioned Putin’s speech, because I feel more or less the same about your reversal of my words, as if we were on the same side, as if I had a bad attitude towards the US (a typical Russian technique of word manipulation). NO. We’re not on the same side. I assure you that most of my country’s citizens are not.
We don’t have sclerosis. We remember all the time.
I come from a former socialist country, too! But I have different memories, different perceptions. Now I don´t live in my home country anymore. I have never had anything against Russians. In my case it´s the Americans who destroy my chosen home country, who bully us. Anyway, I hear you. You must be from a neighbor-country of my home! I hear you – just from the other side!
Age is irrelevant, in real life I say “girls” even to my older friends – women aged 60+ 🙂
Felt good anyway! 😂
Leela: I always differentiate people from their governments or corporate owners that own the government. There are mostly good people in Russia ( I have friends) the Eastern countries ( I grew up next to a delightful friends of Polish who descended from Poland and the USA (where I was born from grandparents from Friesland.) I don’t care what the country is the regular people are often the same as you and I.
I concur. I’ve been to Russia twice and found the people to be very down to earth and supportive of others. Putin, on the other hand, is a megalomaniacal psychopath.
Yes, H.G. made a video series about President Putin. H.G. explained what Mr. Putin is. Nevertheless, the enemy of my enemy is my “friend”. 🤷♀️
Anna, they´re ALL megalomaniac narcissists and psychopaths: Trudeau, Orbán, Sleepy Joe, Marcon, Scholz. The question is only: With whom of them do you have a win-win-situation?
Me too. That´s why I mentioned earlier that my anger is directed against the US government and oligarchs and NOT against the “everyday people” in the US. It´s not their fault.
But Hey, question: How is it to be a lawyer as an Empath? What if you have to defend criminal psychopaths? Or what if you are confronted with terrible things, crimes and such? What if you have to defend somebody who is clearly guilty?
I think empaths simply don’t become criminal lawyers, they choose to work defending the discriminated minorities or injury cases or work pro bono.
A Super Empath might engage in defending psychopaths, being a stronger person than an average standard Empath.
But it´s not so easy when you´re confronted with something like child ab*se or something like this. An Empath has to be strong, to be able to deal with such cases and defend the child or their familiy. I can imagine that this must be pretty hard for a Contagion Empath especially. You must completely “switch off” in your free time, you must deal with the empathy for the victims. Yes, a Super could probably take such “hard” cases and just focus on the right thing that has to be done.
Hi Leela: I was a prosecutor briefly. Why did I in 3rd grade want to be a lawyer? I wanted to rid the world of bad people. My son joined the marines and as a young child age three wanted to be a soldier to help the world. Great ideals. The reality is not the same. I worked with some who were as bad as the criminals. My senior deputy wanted me to wear a short skirt in a death penalty case to incite the rapist murderer. Cops lied. I was disillusioned quick. It was about winning and political positions. Of course there were good people there … absolutely…but it was an imperfect human system that I expected to be better not to mention the emotional toll dealing with the worst dregs of society and their aftermath as a subject matter. I was not cut out for it. I was offered a job with the US Attorney office and I said I was against the death penalty. Still I got offered the job with meager pay and told to accept the position I had to agree to entering prisons of both sexes and agree to waive my rights to any liability if a lockdown or riot happened. Crazy requirement for a job? Waive away your life for low pay? Nope …overall I spent one year. Funny the defense attorneys are the most empathetic caring people, they deeply care about the constitution and making sure people are given equal protection under the law and a fair system than whether their client is guilty or not. I couldn’t defend a psychopath who caused bodily harm or death of another anymore than I could a psychopath who distributed drugs or cars with known defects (1970 pinto cases, mark Robinson was the plaintiff lawyer.) in fact I was a plaintiff lawyer for many years in multimillion dollar class lawsuits against big companies or rather their insurance carriers. Have I helped a narc get paid in a payment dispute over money for work performed? Yes.
We got VERY similar stories, but mine plays not in court, but in science. I wanted to become a research scientist, because I wanted to cure diseases. I wanted to help people. I wanted to find cures for incurable diseases. This is why I became a research scientist. But then, while I was working in research, working in the lab, I had to find out the hard way, WTF this is REALLY about. No, not about helping people but ALL about making money, getting the grants, getting the glory from publications and ALL political stuff! I worked 60-70 hours per week for a meager salary, I got bullied by my back-then boss, because I was honest about the results. There´s plenty of wishful thinking going on there and not so much honesty. ALL supported by Big Pharma and/or the NGOs of oligarchs. After being bullied, put down, scapegoated and berated, I said “goodbye” to research. It was terrible, pure mental- and physical torture and unsurprsingly, full of Cerebrals! 🤦♀️😖 I worked for Big Pharma for a couple of years but quit that too. I´ve been self-employed for about 8 years now and happier than ever!! 🥰 But I have good reasons to warn people about ANY new stuff from Big Pharmas lab, because I KNOW….
Great and 100 % accurate explanation, H.G.! Bravo! I think it´s really all about the “bullshit detector” which distinguishes us from the other schools. I have a higly sensitive bullshit detector, indeed! No matter what. I sensed very early as a child that something was wrong with my parents, that our family was different from the ones of my friends. I noticed very early that my father has no empathy (Upper Mid Range Somatic) and my mother (Co-D) did not really love me but treted me like an object, because it was all about pleasing Patri Narc, all about making him “happy”, not an Iota, not even a microsecond about my needs as a child. And now, as a grown-up, I sensed the HUGE BIG BULLSHIT in the politics of our country very early on, starting with the C-“pandemics” and continuing with Woke ideology. The results are VERY obvious here and they are not good!
Hi Leela_Z,
i cannot imagine having been through such childhood, growing up in a narcissist family of origins. There are many such families, and it organically transfer into politics. Narcissists are predominant in government institutions. The results are obvious, and they are terrible: corruption, wars, genocides.
I just wanted to give you a hug on HG’s site. I saw this comment of yours the other day, and logged back in after many of years of not posting here (circa 2018).
Thank you very much, Agave! Awesome! Hugs and kindness are so rare in my home country and were non-existent in my family. How was growing up in such a family? Well, it was ALL about standing up for yourself and ALL about fighting for your right to be a seen as a PERSON, a HUMAN! It was pretty much all about physical appearance (which was of course never good enough). And as an act of defiance, I was a “tom boy” when I was a child. 🤣And as another act of defiance, I focused mostly on books, knowledge, excelling at sports and being a good student – and became the nerd and bookworm I am today. 🤣The positive thing about growing up with an Upper Mid Range Somatic father is my love for sports, fitness, books, knowledge. 👍
Thank you for your reply, Leela.
I was a tomboy too, I’m non-binary, and even though I pass for a girl most of the time, I’m really a boy. I thought of myself a boy until nature turned against me and started growing female characteristics. But before that I climbed trees, built shacks in the forest, played soccer with boys, and played with toy cars instead of dolls. I just had one teddy bear, while my sister had all the dolls.
I guess you could say these were acts of defiance against nature. Now that I’m aware of being a real boy, I am changing back to being a boy. This is my big secret plan. 🙂
You want to COMPLETELY change? Everthing? I have always seen myself just as “tom boy” not the “typical girly girl”, even though later in life I developed “girly girl” features. 😁 But YOU must feel good with YOUR body, it´s YOUR body, YOUR soul and you have to do what it´s right for YOU and the way YOU feel good. I see myself as female but not as the “typical girly girl”. 😉
Agave. I can relate 100%. Although now I am in my 40s it is too late. If I could have done earlier I would have transitioned.
Since I was a child I knew I was male.
@Agave
Sorry but your female characteristics had already been decided in the womb. Nature didn’t decide to spite you after you developed an affinity for cars and climbing trees by turning you into the sex that does not impregnate the other sex.
You have no idea what it’s like to be born male, go through a male puberty and be a man. You cannot speak for men on what it’s like to be a man despite the fact that you may share some typical interests with men; you’re not a “real boy.”
Not fitting in with many women when it comes to your interests doesn’t make you a different a sex.
I don’t know about soccer but we have female footballers were I’m from so women are interested in those things.
I do find it interesting how different “tomboys” grow up and come to different conclusions regarding their sex though
Leela, let me say this: I will try to change as much as possible, because I can’t change to the extent I would like to as a non-binary. A trans person can change everything, the non-binary cannot. There’s a difference. The non-binary or intersex, or queer people experience two genders almost simultaneously, the boundaries between them are much more blurred, more fluid, and it is not easy for us to ascertain our gender at any time. The body will often fight the idea of who we are, and vice versa. When the mind fights for an idea of who we are, a man or a woman, this is when we want to change the body to align with it.
Anna, I am also in my forties, and I actually feel this is not too late because I’m beginning to appear more male than before. I have noticed in recent years that when other people look at me, they often are confused about my gender, and try to pin it, by staring at me in ‘these places’. I have not had this happen until my forties. At first I was startled because I don’t see myself, but I look more androgynous and even more male now, so why not run with it. To make other people’s discomfort easier, and my own comfort in my body.
Thank you HG for allowing us to have this non-related conversation take place.
Agave (is my new transgender name)
Little fun fact: Agave is a plant that grows in the half-desert and of which the juice is very sweet. I have Agave-juice as sweetener instead of sugar. 😁The most important thing is that you feel good about yourself, that you´re in peace and harmony with yourself. The WHOLE transition would be very complex and painful, the surgeries are not exactly peanuts. This is something one has to be really 100 % sure about.
To thy own self be true. It’s never too late. Two cliches that are eternally correct.
Agave, I wish you good luck with your transition and send you all my support. I love your blog name to hahaha.
Hi Agave,
Good for you. I hope you find all the support you need. It was just my personal opinion that I feel in my 40s I am too old to transition. I wish you all the best.
@Witch. I did a DNA test. My finger length shows that I was exposed to testosterone in the womb. Have you heard of dissapearing twin syndrome? Did you know male and female brains are different? Did you know that you can be made of your twin or have parts of it? You can have germ cells from your twin? Siamese twins, where both were so strong the other did not get absorbed?
I theorise that possibly I absorbed my male twin. Possibly I am him in the body of my sister. Spooky right? Would explain alot though. There are cases of people being “Chimeras”
Google it. Read up on it. It is not that simple.
@Anna
They say those that are same sex attracted have brains closer to the opposite sex yet not all arrive at to the same conclusion re: being born in the “wrong body” and willing to mess around with their hormones and surgeries and deal with the complications thereafter.
tbh I’m vain so I think sometimes or a lot of the time it just looks ridiculous.. if I transitioned for example I would not look like a 6 foot tall Calvin Klein model.. I would look like a short 14 year old boy and I would have just reduced my dating pool because of it, so in my shallow view, unless you’re actually going to be an idealistic version of the opposite sex, where you may have more options concerning partners, why even bother put yourself and your body through all of that stress just to end up being the least favoured? And I feel like this is also part of why the suicide rates are still so high especially after bottom surgery … they invest and invest and invest in these procedures and they don’t get much return on investment
@ Anna @ Sweetest Perfection thank you for your wishes, ill need them badly..
@ Witch this is less about limiting/ expanding the pool of prospects, at least for me, it is about limiting my pool to one prospect, the one i love.. it’s plenty enough…
more so this is about my comfort in my own body, reducing of gender dysphoria that happens every time i see my ‘top’ or go thru a period
Not to mention you are not talking about sex but about your gender. Many people get them confused. Like I said, good luck with everything, Agave. You will be happy and that’s what matters (and to whom it should matter). Everyone else should be worried about their own bodies.
@Agave
Just really think about whether that’s a path you really want to take. Removing breasts can lead to nerve damage/tissue damage which can result in pain every time you or someone else touches your chest and you might then have to take steroids to combat that.
Taking testosterone can lead to atrophy in your reproductive organs and it thins out your vagina which can lead to tearing if you have sex by penetration. It can also lead to pain after orgasm.
So if you can find other ways to cope with it that don’t involve you having to be a medical patient for the rest of the life it might be worth considering.
People have to cope with depression, anxiety, OCD, psychosis etc their whole lives so I do believe people can also cope with gender dysphoria without having to transition. I mean, they had to before these psychopathic surgeons made these procedures available
@Sweestest
Whether someone will be happy is a bit presumptuous in my view. People have gone down the transition route and have then ended up wishing they didn’t spend so much time and energy trying to fit into the opposite sex because they ending up creating a different type of prison for themselves. They realised they were obsessing over something that became meaningless to them over time.
What we are both saying is coming from a place of empathy even if the perspective is different.
Witch, my trans friends are actually very happy they transitioned. One of them I find extremely handsome by the way. I guess everyone can speak from their own experiences, but because we both are cisgender we don’t have to decide what is good or not for people that suffer gender dysphoria.
@SP
I find cisgender to be a bit bollocks because it suggests that it’s uncommon for people to experience uncomfortable feelings around their biology and it isn’t. It’s just that there are different degrees of severity like there are different degrees of severity for body dysmorphia in general.
When I started dating lesbians I came to realise that it was especially common for gay people to have these feelings due to not fitting into conventional standards of beauty and also experiences of rejection and having non-typical interests. People are of course going to have different experiences with transition especially depending on how far they take it. Some are sensible enough not to have bottom surgery so they may not suffer as much. Some are happy until they realise that 10-20 years down the line testosterone has given them health complications because it’s not supposed to be in a female body at those levels.
I think it’s entirely healthy to be challenged so that you can make an informed decision
Unfortunately there has been such a push to normalise transition that there are now therapists and doctors who are immediately affirming people, instead of investigating, even with those who have comorbid mental health issues, like dissociative disorders and OCD.
And I feel that this is quite dangerous especially for the LGB who are more likely to experience various degrees of gender dysphoria and poor mental health.
Fortunately in the UK we are not as extreme and ideological with it as we have long waiting lists on the NHS (although there still has been an impact)
but in some other parts of the world like certain states in America it’s much easier to get prescriptions after only a few appointments or less
@ Witch
Yeah, i of course think about the consequences, after effects that may not be pleasant, or cause non reversible harm. I’ll consult good doctors, and I’ve already looked at many transitions among non binaries.
There is always a risk when it comes to a surgery.
I’m thinking of a reduction to an A cup, rather than mastectomy. That’s goal number one. I’m getting exhausted just writing about it..
@ Sweetest Perfection
Yes I mean I’m talking about gender here. There’s a difference between assigned gender based on sex (genitals) and gender based on gender identity chromosome, which is the actual marker of gender.
My gender identity is male, my sex is female, mostly female because not entirely.
I would post a link to where I write about it more extensively but HG won’t allow it.
@Agave
Thank you for “speaking” with me.
I’m just concerned over the dramatic increase in females especially young females being referred to gender identity clinics.
I’m expected to celebrate this as some kind of progress and I’m afraid I just can’t because I’m concerned that “tomboys” are being erased. I love and admire women who don’t fit into femininity. I love them for what they have done for women’s rights over the centuries by standing out and being non-typical.
I love them for exactly how they were born (female) and who they are.
Fully agree! I would be VERY CAREFUL with calling someone (or oneself)”trans” or “queer”. EVERY human being has “male” and “female” aspects. Tom Boys are still female, just females with a bit more male aspects. Who says that being female means being a “girly girl”? Gender dysphoria can have many reasons. The question is WHY? What is the cause of gender dysphoria? I would first look very carefully for the causes, before “treating the symptoms”. And where does “just being a tom boy” end and “gender dysphoria” begin? I fully accept and respect trans-people but I think one has to be VERY careful with the definition of “trans” or “queer”. I think BEFORE all the procedures you have to dig deep. Deep into the psyche. What is it that makes somebody queer or trans? Is it maybe too much pressure which is put on females (like beauty standards)? One has to think VERY well and VERY carefully about it. I think nowadays people are just named too quickly and too easily “queer” or “trans”. When I was a child/teenager, it was just called “Tom Boy” when a girl was not exactly “girly” and more interested in “boys stuff”. Nowadays, it´s already “queer”? I would just say: BE CAREFUL EVERYBODY! VERY careful!
I have allowed an airing of observations on this issue but let’s keep matters to narcissism rather than the trans debate.
@HG
It is in part related to narcissism
I would say from my experience and observations, narcissism has been allowed to dominate the lgbt “community”
We can’t even meet up as same sex attracted women anymore because we have to include men who believe they are lesbians or else we are ostracised by this cult like community.
Someone even told me they were kicked out of a lesbian group because they made a joke related to Harry Potter (it wasn’t anything to do with trans people)
And a man who believes they are a lesbian was offended because Harry Potter was mentioned and of course dominated the whole thing with their narcissistic MALE energy and got a female kicked out of a group of which she had more rights to.
and of course all the women submitted to a narcissistic MAN with a delusion of being a lesbian, because all he had to say was “I’m offended” and women are doing the most to suck his arse.
It’s becoming more and more trash and ridiculous.
I’ve had enough
Long gone are these days
https://images.app.goo.gl/5p8oQJUWoDKbQ8o48
And leela I agree with you, the push to create a million “queer” identifies over the most petty things that don’t even need a label is ridiculous..like congratulations you have a personality! *gasp
And somehow having a personality and a fashion sense makes you some kind of obscure gender? 🤣
but who is pushing for all that and putting that into young peoples minds… Narcissists, narcissists who want to be unique and special
I do not deny that narcissism is prevalent in the various issues surrounding the community you refer to. The comment you have made addresses narcissism in that environment, that is fine, I was stating that a general discussion about trans etc is outside of narcissism and should be rowed back.