Knowing the Narcisisst : The Asylum of the Grotesque : Andrea

 

 

Andrea and I were sat outside my property as the sun set. It was a useful piece of symbolism for our relationship as she was in the sustained devaluation and her disengagement was not far away.

 

. Gradually, the canvas of the sky transformed into a masterpiece of vibrant hues, a brilliant sunset that captivated the viewer.

 

In that magical hour, the sky became an artist’s palette, brushed with streaks of fiery red, burnt orange, and rich, velvety purple. As the sun descended toward the edge of the Earth, a stunning display unfolded, igniting the heavens with an otherworldly glow.

 

The golden rays of the dying sun spread out like a translucent tapestry, casting a warm, ethereal light across the land. It painted the clouds with shades of pink and lavender, transforming them into magnificent brushstrokes against the vast expanse of the azure sky.

 

With each passing moment, the colors intensified, like whispers of fire and passion lighting up the atmosphere.

 

As the sun trod its path along the horizon, a subtle dance between light and shadow began. Silhouettes of trees and buildings emerged against the backdrop of the fading day. Their outlines etched with softness.

 

 

But as the sun kissed the horizon, preparing for its descent into the embrace of night, the brilliance of the sunset began to fade. The intense colors merged into softer pastel tones, casting a tranquil ambiance upon the Earth. The silent transformation reminded me of the fleeting nature of this relationship.

 

Andrea lifted the bottle of wine that we were sharing and poured the last of the wine into her glass before lifting it to her lips.

 

“You soon polished that off,” I remarked.

“It is delicious,” she confirmed oblivious to the fact that I had actually issued my remark as a criticism.

“I know, although my enjoyment of it has rather been cut short by your greed,” I replied as I felt the malice rising inside of me. It was not about the wine, I did not care, about that, there were plenty of other bottles inside, but rather I had selected her lack of manners of not offering some to me as a basis for devaluing her. Her ill-governed behaviour had manifested once again, it was propelled by greed, simple greed on her part and I determined that I would take her to task for her greed.

 

I swung around to face her and waited until she had turned around to look at me. She immediately saw there was a problem as her eyes locked on my own blackened stare. I saw the calm evaporate and be replaced with her furrowed brow of concern. She made to speak, as if to offer some salve to ameliorate what she anticipated, but I spoke first.

“ Your greed appears as a pervasive and destructive force that permeates every aspect of your existence. It is a voracious hunger, an insatiable desire that consumes you, obscuring the path towards true fulfillment and contentment. Greed, in all its forms, manifests itself as an insidious poison that corrupts the minds and hearts of those afflicted by its suffocating grip, namely you.

 

At its core, your greed is an expression of a profound dissatisfaction with the abundance that life has already bestowed upon you. You view the world as a never-ending playground, teeming with resources awaiting your relentless exploitation. You yearn for more, driven by an insatiable appetite for wealth, power, and possessions. “

 

“But, HG,” she tried to interrupt me.

 

“ I am speaking,” I warned. She fell silent.

 

“ Driven by your insatiable thirst for acquisition,  you plunge headlong into a dog-eat-dog world, relentlessly pursuing more wealth and resources at any cost. Your  hoard your treasures with a fervent zeal, unwilling to share the spoils with me This desire to accumulate, fueled by a deep-rooted fear of scarcity and competition, leaves an indelible scar on the collective consciousness.

 

Your  blindness to the consequences of your actions is staggering. To you, the cost of accumulating wealth is far outweighed by the short-lived satisfaction it brings. You exploit others, trampling upon the lives and wellbeing of your fellow humans, all in the relentless pursuit of material gains..

 

Your greed thrives on the exploitation of others. Humans, unwilling to acknowledge the intrinsic value and dignity of every life, view their fellow beings simply as tools to be used and discarded. (I felt myself want to smile at this point but I resisted the urge) They view success not in terms of collective harmony and wellbeing, but as an individualized achievement – a competition that can only be won at the expense of others.

 

Even in your  supposed generosity, their actions are often motivated by a desire for personal glorification and ego-stroking. You  exploit philanthropy as a means to enhance your own reputation, flaunting your wealth in calculated displays of generosity without seeking to address the structures of inequality that perpetuate the very suffering you purport to alleviate.”

 

Now I could see her own anger wanting to pour towards me. Her eyes were glazed with tears,but her arms were folded defiantly, her chin jutting forward. She wanted to fight me. Good, I wanted her to do so. I paused and saw she was ready to jump in and before she could I continued with my monologue.

 

“The consequences of your greed extend far beyond material wealth. It thrives on the exploitation of natural resources, contributing to the degradation of the environment and the destruction of delicate ecosystems. Your relentless pursuit of profit disregards the long-term sustainability of the planet, jeopardizing the very foundations of life as we know it.

 

Greed, at its core, is a fundamental disconnection from the interconnectedness of all life. You are preoccupied with your own wants and desires, severing yourself from the intricate web of life that sustains and nourishes you  . You fail to recognize that your own wellbeing is intricately tied to the health and prosperity of the collective whole.

 

. It is an endless thirst, an insatiable void that can never be filled, no matter the amount of wealth or possessions accumulated. Even down to drinking my wine. I am sickened by your selfishness, your greed, your avarice. I am sick of you.”

 

I halted savouring her facial expression and body language as she drew back, like a cobra about to strike and fought back.

 

Oh, how I love it when they struggle I thought as the first blast of challenge fuel crashed against me. This was a fight that would go on all night. She would fight and fight hard, but I would break her, but not yet, oh not yet. Let her come at me, let her seek to land a blow on me, these are the nights I crave. I felt the power surging through me as she fed me with her own anger, her own indignation, the words fired staccato at me, the single angry tear trickling down over that cheekbone, I wanted to lean in and lick it from her face but that would interrupt her own diatribe and I was enjoying it far too much to stop it just yet.

 

I gave the smallest of smiles which I knew would irritate her further, but it actually was a compliment, for it was an appreciation of one of the reasons I had chosen her. Her fight and I was greedy for it.