Knowing the Narcissist : Suspect Computer
Technology is a boon to our kind. It enables us to reach more people than ever before for the purpose of a quick squirt of fuel or as part of the orchestrated campaign to seduce our next victim who will be our primary source. The prevalence of social media platforms, blogs, chatrooms and the like provides us with a ready audience for us to declare our brilliance. Whether it is a pithy tweet, a photograph of our latest cycling adventure on Facebook, the culinary achievement that has been shared on Instagram, there are so many ways to herald our magnificence. We do not need to be near to these people. The reach is millions and therefore when we receive a praiseworthy comment, a like or love indication from the relevant button then that sudden dose of fuel comes our way. It is an almost instant hit. Fire something out across the electronic ether and in a matter of moments a reliable dose of fuel will come winging its way back. What a wonderful and simple method.
Even better is the use of our computers to search out targets, vet their online information to ascertain whether they would be suitable for our purposes and then to mine for information which can be used in the seduction of our targets. It is all there. The computer us used to find the information which forms the bedrock of our campaigns and it is also the instrument of our campaigns. So many repeated ways to bombard somebody with our supposed love. Our incessant application and monitoring. The ways in which we can keep in touch with different prospective victims as we assess who will be best. The way we can develop your replacement as we feel that your positive fuel is waning and your devaluation is just around the corner. The way we can triangulate you with a piece of machinery as our eyes remain locked on the screen as we engage in our online flirtations and gathering of fuel. The computer is truly our friend but it is also very useful for you to understand what you are dealing with.
Our use of the computer is a telling indicator of who you are dealing with. Whether it is a tablet, laptop, PC or mobile ‘phone (after all you are really carrying a small computer in your bag or pocket these days) you can expect to find similar secretive and furtive behaviour from our kind when it comes to the use of the computer to further our machinations. The computer is the nerve centre of our operations and as such it is something which we will guard. Accordingly, you should be aware of activity and behaviour such as: –
- Closing the computer down when you are nearby;
- Switching screens when you are nearby;
- Refusing to let you use the device;
- If you are able to use the device, we will not allow you to know the password and instead will enter it for you;
- If you are able to use the device, we will hover over you whilst you do so;
- If you are able to use the device you will find that the e-mail account is either locked or is empty, the search history is clear, there is no predictive search element in the search bar which may give away previous and frequent searches and documents are locked down.
- If you are given unfettered access to a computing device then it is highly likely that we use a different device for our dark works which you do not know about, otherwise there is no way that we will allow you to use such a device so freely. In this instance you need to have identified other red flags to indicate it is more than likely that you are engaging with a narcissist to raise the prospect of us using two computers. If there are no other red flags your unfettered access to the computer will purely be as a consequence of the use having nothing to hide and he or she will not use a secret device.
You would do well to consider the computing habits of the person that you are with and especially so if you have suspicions that you are dealing with one of our kind. Understand that the computer (in its various forms) forms the platform for so much of what we do. Gathering new victims and seducing them, organising and executing your devaluation, orchestrating the smear campaign against you. You should know that the computer is a tool which is used against you and you can utilise it as a barometer of our attitude towards you which will then in turn allow you to understand what you can expect to happen.
So much of what we do occurs through the electronic medium because that allows us full reign to portraying what we wish to portray to the world at large. It allows significant access, it provides a platform for heralding our achievements and it is not an exaggeration to state that it forms the engine room of our activities.
We will never allow you access to our computers but if there is a shared device then you should look out for two things. The first is that after we have used it, our e-mail inbox, browsing history and messaging will be cleaner than a contagious diseases research lab. This situation will persist for some time. The second is that when there is something to read in that inbox, from that browsing history and those messages you ought to know that we wanted you to see it because your devaluation has begun and this is the electronic bait that has been set to provoke you. Bear in mind, this is just what we are prepared for you to see for the purposes of gathering fuel. What is really going on our devices that we will not allow you access to (and the ones you do not even know about) is far, far worse.
13 thoughts on “Knowing the Narcissist : Suspect Computer”
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Other computer usage includes connecting your electronic devices to the computer to put spyware on them. No password needed. Never let your devices out of your sight or away from your person and consider disabling Find My iPhone or iPad to prevent them from emitting noise and being able to be found if you’re not around.
Research how to find spyware and check your devices regularly. Before deleting the spyware, document its existence and search for “filing a police report”, “pressing charges”, “restraining order” and “spyware is illegal” just so they get the hint that they need to think twice before making their next more, because you have yours planned out. If you do suspect you’re being monitored, it is a bit fun living life dangerously and typing out things you know will hurt them or to try to get a reaction to confirm your suspicions.
The article on reducing your chances of hovering was helpful. As the possibility of wounding inhibits hoovers, the perpetrator was renamed something woundful in my contact list and then blocked.
This is hard to read as I was told by Narc that his phone was super protected, that his wife would never be able to access his messages so I could feel free to send whatever, whenever. Also, makes me sick to think that I was one (of many, I’m sure) to be participating in this disgusting game with him.
Joanne, been there, done that. I am sorry that you fell for it like I did as I know well the feelings and the self-blame that come after the realization that you were ensnared by a narc. It will all disappear with time. And you will feel absolutely NOTHING when you look back at it, but it takes a lot of firm NC work. You can do it, stay strong! PS: change your phone number. It won’t stop until you do, trust HG. I thought I had a strong NC regime but I kept on receiving weird calls, links to music, and messages that didn’t stop until I did.
Still from the same narc from years ago, SP?! The Narc who originally landed me here, blocked me back in 2020. At that point, we were only connected on instagram and we were not engaging in any way other than viewing each other’s stories. He had gotten re-married and was expecting a new baby. But it was such a blessing that he did that since I didn’t have the strength to do it. All those feelings I had for him finally died. 3 years later, with this NEW Narc (SMH!!!) – things did not get physical so the addiction isn’t as deep and we’re only linked on instagram. I’m in a position where I can’t really go NC, so I’ve just been avoiding any potential run ins. I am still very driven by my ET and wanting to “win” this game and wanting him to continue observing and chasing me. It’s very sick. I’m so grateful to have these resources to come back to so I can let go of any idea that there was any kind of real intimate connection between us.
Joanne, I am glad to chat with you again despite the circumstances. Let me ask you this: why isn’t it possible to block that person on IG? I totally understand the wanting to be seen and chased by him, and the alternating this with desire for revenge sometimes. It only remains if you keep feeding it. Something that worked very well for me was to think of him sending the same music/pictures/messages to all the other women I knew he spoke to, and to view myself as the last resource for him, instead of the goddess they make you believe you are. I was cruel to myself in order to force me to wake up and realize I was not special, I never mattered, and I never would.
Yes, the narcissist that brought me here was left behind 5 years ago now, but although I thought I was NC, I still had the same phone number, so I kept receiving a bunch of strange messages with links to Spotify profiles to listen so songs (with titles like I lost that thing I treasured or something cheesy like that) or anonymous calls. When I changed the number it all stopped, like The Exorcist when the devil leaves the body of the girl but in my phone. About revenge: I didn’t have to take revenge on him. Exactly like HG says, he hanged himself with his own rope. His ridiculous demise was even in the news and I only felt sadness when that happened.
Then, I was hoovered by a “lockdown divorce” narc right after lockdown, this new person (UMRN elite) had been my platonic love for years when I was single though by then he was married and, as soon as he got a divorce, he contacted me. But now I had the narc knowledge, I immediately saw the hoover in place, his entitlement and persuasion in insisting that we met, and other things, so I didn’t fall for it. Phew! Other than “romance” narcs I had to deal with many “narc gnats” -I call them that because, like gnats, they stick to you when they first see you and when you think they are gone, there they are in your eyeball again. This is a permanent battle so you really want to be prepared to repel them. Follow everything HG says, and do not listen to your ET. If this person contacts you and you let him in, it won’t be better!!! I promise you it is easier once your ET calms down and you realize it wasn’t worth your time and your brilliance.
“His ridiculous demise was even in the news and I only felt sadness when that happened.” –> in the news?! I hate to admit the amount of satisfaction I would have from that. At one point, with the former narc, something like that would have been my dream come true!
You’re very right about the Exorcist / phone analogy. And I know I’m just making excuses on the blocking thing. This ensnarement did not go that far, and I guess I feel like I don’t have a real “reason” to block him since we were “friends.” This is stupid and dangerous, I admit. I have this ridiculous need for everything to always be “left on good terms.” I am really overdosing on HG content now, revisiting my audio consult from 5 years ago and building up my armor. The “funny” (sick) thing is that I almost feel like I can game an outcome in all this, based on having the insight into what I’m dealing with. ET gone wild over here!
The divorced narc is really pretty predictable (once you have the knowledge). I’m glad to know you recognized the hoover and were able to save yourself!! <3
I used to think he was my friend too, Joanne. Block him. He is not your friend as much as a seal can be friends with a shark. Then you have capybaras, which apparently can be friends with any animals including crocodiles -so ridiculously cute-, but HES NOT A CAPYBARA. Run.
The mediatic demise: it was very sorry; but more than well deserved.
Joanne, try and objectify this situation and yourself in it if you can. It really helps crush that emotional thinking if you don’t think of yourself as one of those participants, more an observer. He has always, will continue to, and will always play that game until he dies. It is literally not helpful at all to reminisce over things, good or bad. Once you learn the art of jettisoning unwanted thoughts from your mind it’s a huge step. It’s no different to practicing a new task. It seems impossible at first, but the more you practice, as with anything, the easier it becomes. We do all have intrusive thoughts from time to time but learning to rid yourself of them quickly as HG always mentions is a great way forward. Hugs to you x
Sensible advice AS2016
Thank you very much HG. It feels wonderful to read your words.
Thank you AS2016 (nice to see your name again!) It is hard to not ruminate on the “lovebombing” and his aggressive chase stage, but when I look at things logically, I see it was all a means to an end, and the thoughts will stop. From there it shifts to anger and resentment toward myself because — how could I fall for this again — with someone new?! When I accept it as he’ll just keep on doing this forever, it makes him look so pathetic and unappealing, so that’s good. I know if I stick with LT, I will be able to view the two sides of him, the real and the fake – and finally reconcile that he was never real in the first place.
I’m sorry you fell for another one Joanne, but it does at least sound as if you saw the signs much sooner this time. It’s easily done and almost everyone on this blog will have been caught out more than once. I recall after the first N, thinking this could never happen again. I thought Ns were rare, although it quickly became apparent that there were more than I had realised. I cut out almost all of my female friends too. But couldn’t believe I was seeing them everywhere until I found HG’s blog and at some stage he confirmed that anecdotally that around 1 in 6 people are Ns, then it all made perfect sense. I still struggled with my addiction to Ns though. As you say, they truly are pathetic and desperate. They need our fuel. We don’t need them and it’s only our ET which makes us believe that we do. Just like any addiction, we didn’t need it before and so we can get to a place where we don’t need it again. They on the other hand literally depend on it. Like a life support. Don’t be his life support. Yes, someone else will. But there are awful things going on everywhere in the world. And we can’t stop them all.
The more you watch of HG’s analysis of celebrity Ns, the more you will understand the different types of N and how they portray themselves.
In addition to that (I think you might be in the US, so not sure if you have access) if you can watch, “the sixth commandment”. It’s a bbc drama about a psychopath who befriended elderly people and attempted to kill them off after he had their wills changed to his name. Whilst there are plenty of dramas such as this, from my perspective it is one of the best. It truly depicts how cold and empty these people are, you can really feel the evil inside. Whilst most don’t kill people, it shows that inner emptiness incredibly well and you really see them for what they are. It’s tough to watch (and i wouldn’t recommend for a contagion) but at the same time helpful because you truly see how gross they are. Yuk!
Best of luck with your LT. it will prevail Joanne xx
AS2016
Thank you for the recommendation! I think I would need VPN to watch it here at this moment. I’m sure it’ll be available though some time soon.
It really is incredible how many Ns are among us. I never expected to be seduced by a Somatic, however. Most of the Ns I’ve had the displeasure of being involved with have been of the covert variety (I know HG hates that term) – but the jeckyl/hyde type with a cruel streak. This N took me by surprise because he is wildly attractive to me, though he’s not your standard, conventional “beauty.” It took a while to put the pieces all together, between his outward image, his personality, his reactions to things… but when I did, it was a huge lightbulb moment. If it was not for the information I’d gained here the first time round, I would’ve allowed myself to unknowingly go further down a very dark path.
Please forgive me if I’m remembering incorrectly – but I vaguely recall there being a topic of having a “black streak” as an empath, and that you also identified with that?