Knowing the Narcissist : Fuel
Are you involved with someone whose behaviour makes no sense to you? Does this person treat you with kindness one moment and spiteful hatred the next? Does this individual flirt with others despite being in a relationship with you? Is he or she boastful, arrogant and always fishing for compliments?
Does this person seem to revel in provoking other people, angering them or upsetting them, yet you cannot work out why this person acts in this way? The answers lie in this book. The driving force behind these strange and upsetting behaviours all comes down to fuel.
Read about what fuel is, how it makes that person feel, why they need it, how they get it and what your role is in supplying them with fuel. Learn all about fuel and you will question his or her behaviour no longer and you will be armed with information to do something about it and protect yourself and those you care about.
12 thoughts on “Knowing the Narcissist : Fuel”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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Mr. Tudor,
1. Has anything you’ve written ever been adapted for stage/screen?
2. How good of fuel would performances/showings that were sold out be for you?
3. Would reviews provide low potency fuel, even if they focussed more on the performers/lighting/etc as opposed to the story? I know written is one of the lowest ways to get fuel. But would it be better if focusing on your story as opposed to other aspects?
4. Would everyone involved in the production be your appliance upon taking the job?
5. If the adaptation were of your autobiography, would the fuel be more potent?
6. What level of control would you need to exercise over such a production (particularly if it were your autobiography being adapted)? Would you want to be personally involved in writing/casting/etc?
7. Would the fuel be most potent if you were in attendance at the performance?
8. Could you see yourself wanting that level of notoriety in the future? (You’ve frequently mentioned how much you prefer to move in the shadows, the power behind the throne so to speak.)
9. How would the psychopathic side of you want to use an opportunity like this for playing games?
Thank you so much for your time. Much appreciated!
Mr. Tudor–
Were this the situation in which you found yourself…
You are interacting with a narc IPSS as you search for a new IPPS. The narcissist, through either their delusional mind or your machinations, believes you are their soulmate, madly in love with them…then you find a gorgeous magnet super empath who ticks all the prime aims boxes perfectly. You tell the narc IPSS that she will never look into your beautiful eyes again (unless you change your mind later) and you’re dumping her. She has a fit that includes a flood of tears, insults, heated fury, the works. It occurs in front of you.
1. Is the fuel you would get from the narcissist in the above situation in any way diminished by your knowing that she is a narcissist and that all her emotions are the result of her narcissism and related to the prime aims as opposed to genuine upset?
2. Would the fuel provided from an empath who found herself in the same situation (and gives approximately the same response) be better because the emotions are genuine?
3. Would most greaters view this in approximately the same way as the Ultra?
4. Would your control be equally threatened regardless of the intimate partner being the IPPS or IPSS? Or does the increased of importance of that now former IPPS cause their fit to be seen as more of a threat?
5. Would it amuse you to have the narc IPSS go on a smear campaign or would it just be a threat that you spray with bug spray and watch shrivel up and die?
6. Would you watch the narc IPSS (or have them watched by others) to see if such a foolish thing were to begin?
7. Would being amused or needing to squash that IPSS be dictated in any way by which identity they know you under?
Thank you so much for your time. Much appreciated.
(I tried to submit some similar questions but I had a little technical difficulty, so I apologize if these come through twice.) Thank you again so much for all you do, sir.
1. No.
2. No.
3. Yes.
4. There is no threat to control, I have ended the relationship.
5. It would depend on what was being said, most likely it would amuse me.
6. I would not specifically keep an eye on an IPSS in case they commenced a smear campaign, I have better things to do.
7. Not necessarily.
Thank you so much, sir.
Do you think that you might add to the “Asylum of the Grotesque” series some of your narcissist IPSS relationships?
Thank you so much for your time! Much appreciation!
Possibly.
Thank you, sir. Looking forward to whatever is in the pipelines. It’s always enlightening.
Mr. Tudor–
Regarding:
“I would not specifically keep an eye on an IPSS in case they commenced a smear campaign, I have better things to do.”
What circumstances do cause you to want to keep an eye on an IPSS, if any?
Thank you so much for your time.
If I determined that it was advantageous for me to do so.
Dani, interesting questions for HG – as always.
Questions 1 and 2 contain a false assumption. A Narcissist’s emotions are also authentic and, in my opinion, stronger than those of an Empath, because they are centered (they do not spill out). Just a narrower scope.
Very helpful title. Thank you, Mr. Tudor.
Fuel, paragraph 2, sentence 12: “Our fuel tank never shows as full, it cannot overflow…” — So a famous narcissist would have 10 million tertiary sources…and social media gives them better access to each other…
1. So their tank is bigger?
2. If they go boom, and lose 8 million of those followers, the tank doesn’t immediately shrink, does it?
3. Is there a relative adjustment period?
4. Do NISSs and IPPSs have to work harder for that period of time?
5. Is the time of adjustment related more to the school of narcissist than other factors?
6. How does the loss of millions of tertiary sources affect a narcissist’s sense of control?
Fuel, page 37, full paragraph one — That would be interesting to hear more about, how you changed the way you were doing things to get to a more efficient fuel matrix design, what made you realize that it would be better to do so…specifics
7. Does a quality fuel source require more extensive effort to create? Metaphorically, you’re more interested in creating “Starry Night” or “Mona Lisa” than being someone who hangs paint balloons on a canvas and throws darts at them to create art?
The point system you have is absolutely fantastic and really helps with perspective.
8. Can family members downgrade themselves by being in very low contact?
“The Loss of the Prison” — Very distressing to read, but necessary to know about. I don’t like to think about anything being able to hurt you, sir. And you, HG, have so many strengths that I don’t think any creature could ever hurt you. You have multiple degrees (as I recall). You are a best selling author in nonfiction and fiction. You recently reached 100,000,000 views on YouTube. You have helped myriads of people escape from abusive situations with your work. Your 100K subscriber interviews and the Successful Escapes series amply demonstrate your effectiveness. I’ve also read the reviews here, and read the other bloggers. I’m sure you have many professional awards that I don’t know about. You’re incredibly intelligent and clever. You’re astonishingly observant.
Thank you so much for all that you do and all the time that you share with your readers. It’s a gift, a wonderful gift.
1. Their fuel matrix is larger.
2. Their fuel matrix alters.
3. It occurs commensurate with the loss.
4. See Understanding Changes to the Fuel Matrix.
5. See 4.
6. It is a substantial threat to control, although if they lose 4 million out of 80 million followers the threat is reduced. It is relative.
7. Not necessarily.
8. They become problematic with regard to the amount of fuel provided, the frequency of doing so and also threaten control.
Thank you so much, sir. Much appreciated!