Knowing the Narcissist : 15 Seductive Spikes

Our seductive tendrils wrap around the unsuspecting and draw them into our false reality. We have many ways of effecting this seduction, from the outrageous declarations of premature love, to the excessive texting and messaging, from the gifts and attentiveness to the fantastic sex. There are many strings to our bow when it comes to seducing our victims. We love the allure of the triangle. Bringing someone else or something else into the dynamic between you and me generates endless possibilities for fuel, control and manipulation. Triangulation is seen throughout the narcissistic dance and appears more than you may realise at the outset of your relationship with our kind. Of course our most serious and intense seductive techniques are reserved for our intimate partners who become our primary source of fuel, but we triangulate everybody who we wish to draw fuel from. Whether you are a parent, a sibling, a co-worker, a boss, a friend or someone who is an acquaintance, we will triangulate you in some way.

When triangulation is used in seduction it will be done to portray ourselves as a good and decent person and on the receiving end of some unpleasant and undeserved behaviour from a different source, in order to make you admire us for dealing with this unnecessary attack or provide us with affection to make us feel better or sympathy in respect of our predicament. You are made to think that we are explaining our position and you are made to feel special because we are telling you about something that apparently is troubling us. The reality is that this is being done in order to draw an appropriate reaction from you for the purposes of gaining fuel. It is also designed to make you think that there is something you can do to assist us and help us and therefore gain favour with us through this action .Here are fifteen of these regularly used techniques which may be familiar to you or what you ought to be looking out for.

1. My wife doesn’t understand me.
2. My husband has no interest in sex with me anymore.
3. My children don’t respect me.
4. My parents expect me to be their full-time carers.
5. My boss is a tyrant.
6. My team are incompetent.
7. My supplier is unreliable.
8. My neighbour is inconsiderate.
9. My partner never listens.
10. My boyfriend spends all of his time with his friends rather than me.
11. My girlfriend spends all my money.
12. My friends expect me to be available all of the time.
13. My partner just doesn’t appreciate what I do.
14. My girlfriend would rather play Candy Crush than talk to me.
15. My children never ring me to see how I am.