Knowing the Narcissist : 15 Seductive Spikes



Our seductive tendrils wrap around the unsuspecting and draw them into our false reality. We have many ways of effecting this seduction, from the outrageous declarations of premature love, to the excessive texting and messaging, from the gifts and attentiveness to the fantastic sex. There are many strings to our bow when it comes to seducing our victims. We love the allure of the triangle. Bringing someone else or something else into the dynamic between you and me generates endless possibilities for fuel, control and manipulation. Triangulation is seen throughout the narcissistic dance and appears more than you may realise at the outset of your relationship with our kind. Of course our most serious and intense seductive techniques are reserved for our intimate partners who become our primary source of fuel, but we triangulate everybody who we wish to draw fuel from. Whether you are a parent, a sibling, a co-worker, a boss, a friend or someone who is an acquaintance, we will triangulate you in some way.

When triangulation is used in seduction it will be done to portray ourselves as a good and decent person and on the receiving end of some unpleasant and undeserved behaviour from a different source, in order to make you admire us for dealing with this unnecessary attack or provide us with affection to make us feel better or sympathy in respect of our predicament. You are made to think that we are explaining our position and you are made to feel special because we are telling you about something that apparently is troubling us. The reality is that this is being done in order to draw an appropriate reaction from you for the purposes of gaining fuel. It is also designed to make you think that there is something you can do to assist us and help us and therefore gain favour with us through this action .Here are fifteen of these regularly used techniques which may be familiar to you or what you ought to be looking out for.

  1. My wife doesn’t understand me.
  2. My husband has no interest in sex with me anymore.
  3. My children don’t respect me.
  4. My parents expect me to be their full-time carers.
  5. My boss is a tyrant.
  6. My team are incompetent.
  7. My supplier is unreliable.
  8. My neighbour is inconsiderate.
  9. My partner never listens.
  10. My boyfriend spends all of his time with his friends rather than me.
  11. My girlfriend spends all my money.
  12. My friends expect me to be available all of the time.
  13. My partner just doesn’t appreciate what I do.
  14. My girlfriend would rather play Candy Crush than talk to me.
  15. My children never ring me to see how I am.

6 thoughts on “Knowing the Narcissist : 15 Seductive Spikes

  1. Hannah says:

    Hi HG.
    I have a couple of questions for you.

    1. Let’s say hypothetically that you could not derive any fuel whatsoever from the world and people around you. Everyone in the entire world became a grey rock. What would happen to you?

    2. Have you ever tried meditation?

    3. Is it possible for someone tin their early 20’s and not be a narcissist and then turn into one (perhaps a lesser) over time due to changes in brain chemistry or drug use?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      1. Grey Rock does not work so I would actually receive fuel.
      2. Yes, got bored.
      3. No.

  2. Anna says:

    My partner, mother and some of my friends have used these comments time again. I fell for them. I was stupid. Every time I try to leave, hoovered back in.

  3. Anna Plyance says:

    What do all of these have in common? The standard pattern is “Person/Group x is/does something negative”. If someone you hardly know is so keen to dish the dirt on a third party – and you are not likely to know this third party, thus making it impossible for you to form your own judgement about the truth of the matter, nor will they be there to defend themselves – that is not a trustworthy person. Take the first example, “My wife doesn’t understand me”. For one thing, that should be between the two spouses, and for another, if a husband talks about his wife like this, what do you think he will say about you? Furthermore, he probably does not know you well enough to gauge whether you are going to take this information and blab to the wife or others.
    “It will be done to portray ourselves as a good and decent person”. My impression is it comes rather close to demonstrating the opposite.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      And yet they work over and over again.

      1. Anna Plyance says:

        Of course, with the right audience and delivery. And we know that you are the expert on both.

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