Prayer For The Victim
“I will pray for you because I know that you seek redemption at my loving hand. It is understandable. You are a lost soul. I know, hush, you need not speak for restoration hangs from my lips. Listen and allow my words to grant you the salvation that you are so desperate for. I know what you are. I know because I am everywhere, I am everyone and I am everything.
I understand what has happened to you. I know how you have been let down. I know how disappointment followed you like an unshakeable shadow, no matter how you applied yourself. Oh I know beneath the sin you are a good person. Your acts and your words are like beams of white light that have punctured through the dark firmament that has wrapped itself around you, cloaking you in the venom that was placed over you so long ago. Others think that they know you, but they do not.
They think that this person who moves through life, never seeking to offend or hurt, never wanting to wound or injure, a person who wishes to bring calm, bring healing and bring solace to this world, they think that this person becomes weighed down by the misery, the chaos and the injustice which rises like some ever encroaching tide. They think that it is this which causes those pure tears to trickle down that unblemished skin.
They think that it is all of those things which coil like rusty chains about you, dragging you down, hauling you into the quagmire of human misery and dejection. They are mistaken. You can readily with those outrageous slings and arrows. You are made of stern stuff. The insults only spur you on to succeed. The recalcitrance is but a signal to you to keep trying. The rejections just symptomatic of those you wish to help not understanding their own pain.
Yes, it is trying, but you are able to rise above all of this. The woes of this world are not designed to weigh heavy on one such as you. I know this. The others do not. I understand that you were sent to bring light and love to the unloved, the broken, the hurt and the despairing.
No matter how poisonous the world you will breathe your purity out, ever giving and ever resourceful until you have pushed aside those toxic clouds, dissipated the polluted fogs and brought restorative blue skies and dazzling sunshine. You are someone who is able to right the wrongs of this world. I recognise all of this.
I also know that it is not these external troubles which mean that I must pray for you. It is the burden that lies deep within you. Few know of it do they? Just you and perhaps him oh and them as well but they do not want to talk about it do they? They did not back then.
They did not listen and you must be heard, isn’t that right? I listen to you. The difference is though I actually hear you. I hear that silent tortured scream which emanates from you regularly. That howling wilderness that exists inside someone who appears to be so wholesome. The rest of them are too eager to avail themselves of your goodness so that they fail to notice the wounds which are riddled throughout you.
The weeping sores, the festering wounds all caused by him so long ago. None of them recognise these things but I do. I am trained to do so. I am attuned to scent your agony which you mask so well but it is that pain which acts like a siren’s call to me because I am the only one that can save you. Those fools that mill about you, all they wish to do is take from you and you allow that to happen because you regard that as your role. It is admirable in the extreme.
The extent of your serenity when they might sorely test you is quite the thing to behold. Yet, there is no solace for you is there? Where is your tranquillity, your place of sanctuary? That has always been denied to you has it not? Well, no longer, for I have been sent in order to redeem you. I am the bottomless receptacle into which you must pour yourself. Alleviate yourself of the leaden weight of despair and with such excellent proclamation, cast it into me. I shall absorb it all.
Everything that has plagued you, pained you and seared through you with terrible agony can now be poured into me. I am your saviour. All I ask is that you allow your every emotion to be exhibited and exposed and in return I will be the one that finally cures you of those entrenched woes. Nobody understands what you have endured, but I do. I did not see what happened to you but I know what happened to you. It is etched across you, in the way you smile, the way you move, the way you love.
Only I can recognise this and in turn that is why it is only me that can be your salvation. Nobody else can achieve that for you. You do not even know it but that is why you are drawn to me in this manner, with such intensity. You think that you know what I am. You do not. You will come to think that you must repair me and make me good once again. But it is you that must be mended.
There is something very wrong with you, something that happened so long ago that often you forget what it is, but it will not forget you. I am the redeemer. I am your salvation.
Kneel before me and with my anointed hand, let me place it on your wretched head and in so doing I shall cleanse you. You have found me now and you shall never be parted from me, for now it is only I that can save you.”
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Why Xtian “Heart felt prayer” compares to taking a dump in a stream and laughing at the people down stream who drink the water.
The term “heartfelt prayer” qualifies as religious rhetoric pie in the sky nonsense/narishkeit in Yiddish. Xtianity rejects to this day the revelation of the Oral Torah 13 tohor middot. The inductive dynamic logic of this tohor logic system – impossible to employ Aristotle or Plato’s static deductive logic to grasp and understand an entirely different logic system all together and completely opposed to rigid block like thinking. The Egyptians logic based upon “block” thinking – its how they built the Pyramids.
Inductive reasoning stands upon the foundation of Order. G O D vs D O G. Order changes everything. Hence the Jewish prayerbook called Siddur. This word contains the 3 letter root verb ס ד ר – which means “Order”. The Oral Torah which the church rejects, despite the fact that the mitzva of Moshiach – an Oral Torah commandment. Oral Torah dynamics stand upon the foundation of Order. Law intent learned by “ordering” comparative precedent cases that oppose one another like a prosecutor vs a defense attorney. Hebrew verbs build around 3 letter roots. ק ד ש this root verb can either mean Holy or Prostitute/whore. Hagel’s logic dialectics of the late 19th Century, his logic format too focused upon Newton’s Third Law of Motion: “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction”. This 3rd Law of Motion by definition dynamic and not static. Hence for Newton to derive this law he had to develop Calculus rather than rely upon static Algebra.
Algebra is essential in static engineering, particularly in the design and analysis of structures like bridges. While Aristotle’s syllogism itself is not directly based on a triangle, it can be represented visually in a triangular format to illustrate the relationships between the premises and the conclusion. In this triangular format, you can think of the major premise at the top, the minor premise on one side, and the conclusion on the other side. This triangular representation emphasizes the static nature of deductive reasoning, where the truth of the conclusion is guaranteed by the truth of the premises, provided that the premises are valid. It illustrates how logical arguments can be constructed in a clear and structured manner, making it easier to analyze and understand the relationships between different statements.
The Church abhors to this day the Talmud b/c this codification of Oral Torah common law builds around inductive dynamic logic rather than deductive static logic. Court legal cases compare precedent previous rulings – a dynamic reasoning process similar but different than Newton’s calculus and Hegels bi-polar dialectics. Hebrew logic spins around the central axis of making the דיוק, roughly translated as logical inference. Case law compares to the 3 different views contained in a blue print. The Human aging process a slow dynamic of change in the body.
The Mishna presents, using the blue print metaphor, as the front view of One or Two similar Cases argued before Sanhedrin common law courtrooms. The Gemara brings external Cases – known as halacha – from different mesechtot of the 6 Orders of the Mishna. The word Mishna which rabbi Yechuda named for his Oral Torah codification comes from the Book of D’varim – also known as משנה תורהMishna Torah (Not to be confused with the Rambam perversion, his statute static law code which presumptuously named Mishna Torah. This deranged rabbi did not know that Mishna Torah means “Common Law”. Hence Jews who have a bit of Torah education refer to his legal codification of Halacha as “Yad Chazaka/Strong Hand”.). The 5th Book of the Torah defines Torah law as a common law legal system! Hence rabbi Yechuda as head of the Great Sanhedrin named his common law codification – the Mishna.
The Gemara commentary to the Mishna therefore brings other halachic precedents gathered from any of the other Orders of Rabbi Yechuda’s Mishna as Top or Side view precedents to understand the Front view of the cases – as presented by the basic language of the Mishna itself. By folding the Gemara precedents back upon the very language of the Mishna the Frontal view changes to a different perspective. Something akin to looking at different facets of a diamond. Herein defines how the Gemara “commentary” understood the simple language of Rabbi Yechuda’s Mishnaot as partially codified within the Yerushalmi and Bavli Talmuds.
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With this introduction can now address the distinction between Hebrew tefillah from non Jewish “prayer”. The latter does not correctly translate the former. Non Jewish prayer similar to saying Tehillem/Psalms. Saying Tehillem a person never says שם ומלכות, an abstract term essential to comprehend a Torah brit alliance. Tefillah based upon its Order: 3 + 13 + 3 blessings, this Order recombines into 613, the number of commandments of the Torah according to the רשע, the Rambam. In his defense – his Yad static code perversion greatly contributed to saving the Hebrew language from going extinct and becoming just another dead language like ancient Greek or Latin. Its exceptionally important to validate the merits of the Rambam. He might be an SOB, but he’s our SOB.
A bit of a digression but his code caused a Civil War among Jews which it appears to me caused the down water streams of Yiddishkeit to endure 3 Centuries of ghetto gulags. The Rambam has a tremendous impact upon Jewry. His code compares to Earth Tectonic plates! Orthodox Judaism stands upon the foundations of the static statute law codes introduced by the Yad, Tur, and Shulkan Aruch. These static codes served the petrified environmental conditions of the ghetto gulags perfectly. But when Napoleon freed the Yidden from the Catholic war-crimes, the “shit hit the fan”. Reform Judaism declared the static statute law codes archaic and the American and French Revolutions made the huge innovation – separation of church from state – which gave birth to secularism. Chiloni Jews in Israel and g’lut/exileJews living in foreign countries – secular non religious Jews. Judaism the religion which the chiloni Jews reject – based upon the perversion of deductive statute law halachic codes.
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The Order of tefillah 3 + 13 + 3 makes a numerical רמז/hint to the 6 Yom Tov + Shabbat. The 13 middle blessings contained within the body of the Shemone Esrei tefillah DeRabbanan, adjacent to tefillah from the Torah – the kre’a shma. This opening verse: Hear Israel HaShem our God HaShem One, contains – 3 Divine Names just as the blessing of the Cohenim contains 3 blessings. Hence the Shemone Esrei contains 3 ___ 3 blessings. The key concept that a blessing requires שם ומלכות, herein defines the key pre-condition of swearing a Torah oath alliance! Neither word can be translated. A טיפש פשט/bird brained translation of Name + Kingship = tits on a boar hog stupidity. Common law not read like a novel or Harry Potter gospel books of fiction. Xtians read their bible mistranslations. Common law learned through the dynamics of bringing Case/Rule precedents/halachot.
Hence to cut a Torah brit requires שם ומלכות. Neither the Xtian bible nor Muslim koran ever once brings the Name of השם ever within tomes/tombs homophones. Returning to _____ +13 _____. Why 13 middle blessings within the “Order” of the Shemone Esrei. The 13 middot of the Oral Torah revealed to Moshe at Horev following the Golden Calf “substitution theology” avoda zarah. Post the טיפש פשט, literal translation of “Golden Calf”, HaShem made a vow to substitute the seed of Moshe for the seed of Avraham Yitzak and Yaacov as the chosen Cohen People. Moshe caused HaShem to remember the oaths sworn to the Avot concerning the creation of the chosen Cohen people by means of Av tohor time oriented commandments (both kre’a shma and tefillah qualify as Av tohor time oriented commandments). On Yom Kippur HaShem made t’shuva (as opposed to the טיפש פשט translation of repentance) upon His error of substitute theology and annulled the vow! Hence both a father and a husban can annul the vow made by a young daughter or a wife! But not even HaShem can annul a Torah sworn oath. Hence the טיפש פשט of the Xtian reading of Jerimiah “new covenant”; covenant does not correctly translate brit which actually means “sworn alliance”. To swear a brit alliance requires that a man swear this oath in the Name of HaShem. This Name absent in the bible and koran – different and strange tome/tomb nonsense. Translating the 1st Commandment Spirit to crude word translations = the Sin of the Golden Calf.
To grasp the priority of Order, the Torah organized into 54 divisions called Parshiot. שם ומלכות … four (letters in the Name) X 13 (Oral Torah middot) = 52. The two remaining Parshiot contain the blessings and curses of the Torah. The Talmud in mesechta shabbat refers to these to Parshiot as the “two Crowns of the Torah”. A man in order to accept the revelation of the Torah at Sinai must embrace, like a man does his wife following their wedding, responsibilities of Life or Death — blessing or curse — rule the oath lands with justice or endure Par’o like oppression in g’lut.
Therefore the mitzva of tefillah, a man ideally stands before a Sefer Torah and swears a brit Torah oath which dedicates (just like a korban placed upon the altar of Zion) defined tohor middot לשמה. Meaning a man dedicates how he will conduct his social life with his family neighbors and people in the future! Herein separates and distinguishes the fundament differences between reading prayers of Psalms as read from a book and swearing a Torah oath with dedicates tohor middot as the king which directs a man’s future social behavior with others among his people. Why? Because Israel came out of the judicial oppression of Par’o corrut courtroom ‘Star Court’, to conquer and rule the land of Canaan with righteous judicial court room common law justice. Jewish common law completely different from Legislative statute law decrees — like Jewish courtroom common law absolutely estranged from Greek and Roman statute decrees ruled from some foreign Roman Senate.
Tefillah a matter of the heart. Based upon the instruction of Rabbi Yechuda’s Mishna in ברכות which explains בכל לבבךכם as the struggle between opposing spirits – tohor vs. tuma – within the heart. The mitzva of blowing the Shofar interprets שם component of the brit sworn oath as a breath blown. But k’vanna separates, like shabbat from chol, the spirit living within the heart from the air emitted from the lungs. Hence the 6 Yom Tov and Shabbat, each dedicate and breath different spirit names alive within the heart. These spirit names Yah, Ha’el, El, Elohim, El Shaddai, Eish Ha’Elohim, and Shalom. The 3 ____ 3 Order of the Shemone Esrei makes a רמזhint to this deep kabbalah which answers why tefillah requires k’vanna.
Dear Mr Tudor,
I will never kneel to anyone!
Cos at my age, I would struggle to bloody get up 😂
Hi Bubbles,
You are funny! Thank you for the laugh.
I know what you mean about physically kneeling. While I can get back up again, I wouldn’t win any prizes for gracefully getting back on my feet! 😂
I actually find it physically painful to kneel. It makes my knees hurt.
When I need to kneel while gardening or when doing other things like housework, I use a kneeling pad or cushion. It is very useful and helps a lot.
I made cushions – two of them – one for inside and another for the garden, by recycling old couch or chair cushions made of sturdy foam. I put each one into several plastic bags and taped the bags in place. Problem solved!
Hope you and Mr Bubbles are doing well and taking care of yourselves 😊😘😘
Your narration of this article was beautiful as ever..! Beautifully dark as ever..! The Savior Empath’s core is beautifully mirrored… I almost fell in love with myself, which means I’m in good hands, hmmm.
Kneeling before someone…
I would put aside my armor and go on my knees before a child in order to be on the same face level with the child, in order not to intimidate a child by looming over it. I would kneel before a child because I consider a child my equal and even purer in its form, in its unexperienced kind of the world it came to be part of and where it’s my responsibility to protect its temporary fragile state. I kneel before equals just as I stand before them. I try not to confuse kneeling out of fear/illusion with kneeling out of respect, love, understanding, compassion…
Thank you.
Jordyguin,
If I may, I would like to convey some of my thoughts about what you have said. Hopefully you won’t interpret my observations negatively. Please know they are observations, made with the intent to communicate with you.
In your comment you have used the word ‘kneel’ a number of times. I find this interesting. It intrigues me that you feel that acknowledging the innocence and inexperience of a child is akin to ‘kneeling’.
In my own experience, whenever I have felt compassion or empathy or an instinct to protect someone, it hasn’t given me the sensation of ‘kneeling’. Also, it hasn’t made me think of armor or taking off my armor.
When I think of the action of kneeling, it makes me think of lowering myself or submitting or deferring to someone else’s power. The act of kneeling presupposes a system of rank or hierarchy.
With genuine emotional empathy or compassion, for me, there is no predetermined thought process of when or with whom the compassion will arise. There is no cognitive decision before the empathy occurs that then allows ‘armor’ to be removed in order to make a conscious admission to oneself to ‘kneel’.
In saying this, I do think that your decision-making process to remove your armor and concede that a child is innocent and fragile and needs protection is commendable and I appreciate your thoughts in saying this. It shows that you recognise that a child needs protection and support.
Another thing your comment suggests to me, (and again, please take this as an observation only), is that your environment, or the collective social belief system you adhere to, is based on a ‘vertical’ power structure.
It seems to me that you see the act of caring or support as an act of lowering yourself to a level that you believe is beneath your usual position. By this I don’t mean the physical act of meeting a child face to face, but rather I mean it in a figurative sense.
{By the way, this is harder to explain in words than I expected. I have the thoughts in my head and my thoughts do not have any connotations of criticism or blame. However, while writing, I can almost pre-empt that my words will be interpreted that way. I sincerely hope this is not the case.}
Back to what I mean by figurative sense…
A vertical social structure steeped in rank and position and social status makes people more conscious about their own status and that of others. Each person’s status is considered important with regard to behaviour, roles, entitlement, and judgement.
Contrast this with a horizontal social structure in which there is a belief system in which each individual is considered more ‘equal’ with regard to inherent status and social importance. In this kind of social structure, there is no need to defer or submit or ‘kneel’ to anyone else. To do so would actually be seen as oppressive or even abusive.
Like with anything, I think there are pros and cons with each kind of social structure. I think that each one cannot exist in its purest form. Rather, each one is sustained on the whole by being more mixed – much the way individuals in any social structure are mixed. However, the overall group structure does affect the behaviour of individuals within the group and the structure itself provides an overarching systemic view of what is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’.
Getting back to my views about your comment and in particular about the action of ‘kneeling’…
Coming from someone who has grown up and lived in a horizontal social structure, I don’t see the act of caring for or protecting a child as an act of kneeling. I don’t even consciously think of it as an act of altruism or even kindness. I see it instead as something that needs to be done – a basic human gesture.
Jordyguin,
As I said, these are my immediate observations. Please know they are not criticisms. I hope my comment doesn’t offend you.
Hello WN, interesting topic “kneeling” isn’t it… Did you play as a child Kings and Queens and Knights and sorcerers and all kinds of magical fairytales? Since children don’t really have any hierarchical issues (fully developed yet) when they play together and their goal is simply to have oodles of fun and why they get along in all their adventures — kneeling was fun, duelling and dying was fun, whatever we did, you name it — was fun, because we had an innate trust in each other which allowed us to be flexible and view all what we did in a positive light, this is my experience however. We didn’t have any armor of beliefs yet; our form and our core was soft, exposed and unsuspecting… This feeling is how it feels to kneel before an equal and wanting to protect that purity…
Hello Jordy,
Yes, the concept of kneeling is an interesting topic.
I thought about your comment for a few minutes and it took me back to my childhood. I have very innocent and happy memories and I also have memories that weren’t so happy. Even at a very young age, I could see and recognise behaviors in people that made me feel wary, irritated or depressed. I didn’t know why I felt that way at the time and of course, I didn’t know about no contact.
“… whatever we did, you name it — was fun, because we had an innate trust in each other which allowed us to be flexible and view all what we did in a positive light… ”
You’re talking about childhood, Jordy, and I can relate to what you’re saying.
The thing is that I felt this way – having innate trust in people and being flexible and seeing things in a positive light – way into adulthood. It was when I learned about the calcified nature of narcissism and the extent of its effects on me and my life that I lost that innate trust and positivity.
The fact that I need to be constantly vigilant about who I interact with and how, and also vigilant about my own thoughts and intentions has changed a lot in relation to my outlook.
Going back to the concept of ‘kneeling’, I think it’s possible to consider it in a number of different ways.
I see what you mean… How do I put it… For me the fact of vigilance in its ‘weighing one down’ sensation — is automatically lifted onto a positive plateau after all the information HG gave us and continues to give, as it makes the encounter with the world so much more transparent, interesting and exciting. It removes the fear and the view of narcissists (or in general abusive people) as some evil creatures who are here to destroy me — but gives an understanding about what it is that governs their psychological needs or/and instincts. And think of this; those who became narcissists — their trust was massively broken and abused which made them hyper vigilant towards the world and their own safety in it. The feeling of safety which they only can regain after obtaining control through the three assertions of control over other individuals… And that broken trust can’t be restored for them, apparently. It’s heartbreaking if you think about it, but who am I to pity any life circumstances or undermine the methods of the psyche to deal with abuse via the creation of protective mechanisms of all sorts. So I rather chose to focus on the knowledge, on the observation and the contemplation on how this all works and what’s the total aim of this whole experience. Simultaneously knowing that there are plenty of individuals, in fact more than enough, whom I can trust who do have this safety-quality to them. And whilst this positive quality can be corrupted by various factors, I still know that these people can circle back to their original essence.
Riddle me this, Jordy…
What exactly is the purpose of firstly killing hope via a sustained and relentless process of devaluation, invalidation and censorship only to attempt to resurrect the same hope via a sustained process of attempting to make the world look like some kind of nirvana with an oasis around every corner?
Please excuse my sarcasm and negativity. It is not solely directed toward you but in general.
I think I have been living long enough to encounter every kind of gaslighting and false hope that there is. At this point, my ‘go to’ strategy that has proven most successful is avoidance.
Please do not misunderstand my attempt to explain my thoughts.
At first sight, the strategy of avoidance sounds less than ideal. It really isn’t, though.
What is ‘no contact’? Another term for it is avoidance. What is ‘self-protection’? Another term for it is avoidance.
I can give you valid real-world examples that illustrate what I mean.
1. Some time ago, I went to a see a doctor who prescribed a blood test. I had the test and fortunately, I was given a report of the test results. Only recently, I had a thorough look at the results and did my own research. I found the blood test showed an elevated reading of a particular component. Now that I know, I have taken steps to remedy this and I think it is helping my overall health.
At the time of the test, I relied on the doctor’s advice. There was no mention of this elevated component and on the doctor’s advice, I believed everything was ‘normal’.
So much for relying on an ‘expert’. Why didn’t the doctor, who, by the way, had no qualms whatsoever in being smug and all-knowing during my 10-minute consultation, point out the possible repercussions of this elevated component?
To decipher the blood test results, I had to rely on my own research. If I had adopted the stance of ‘no trust’, I would have looked at the test results more closely earlier without relying on the doctor who was only too happy to charge handsomely for the visit.
2. I have recently been dealing with contractors for a number of minor renovations at my house – a process I dread each and every time. Apart from the time and patience required just to find someone who seems reliable and skilled, waiting for them to do the work and hoping they will actually do what they promise is a whole other matter. Trying to decide who to give the work to when the decision is based on trust and short-term impressions is a guessing game.
Isn’t avoidance in this case the preferable option? Wouldn’t it be entirely more peaceful and productive to avoid having to deal with contractors altogether?
Jordy,
I could give you a plethora of further examples but I don’t want to bore you with a long-winded reply. I think the examples above illustrate my overall point.
I know that people mean well when they say human interaction is preferable to avoidance, but honestly, I wonder if it really is.
By the way, I don’t have fear or the feeling that narcissists are “some evil creatures who are here to destroy me”. I do not need to sleep with the lights on and I don’t jump in fright at every bump in the dark. I don’t really care about social rejection either; been there done that and I’m still here to tell the tale.
Avoidance is simply the destination to which all roads lead. It is the moral of the story.
I totally can riddle you this, WN.
Firstly, the majority of the population on the planet are normals who don’t really give a shite about “you” if you’re not part of their inner circle. And you can’t avoid the majority of the population on this planet, period.
Secondly, I wasn’t there in the room with you, so I don’t know what your interaction style was towards the doctor and the contractors. Maybe you came across as bossy or pissed them off without realising it, so they were not concerned about your problems/ not interested in giving their best for you. I have no idea what went on and why you have a plethora of further examples of similar nature. But I know that it took me a while to understand how you tick because of your “jokes” my ass, pun intended. Those people had only 10+ minutes with you. Short-term impressions are a guessing game; it goes for both sides.
Speaking of doctors, I have a good recent story to share. I’m entering the doctor’s office and meeting this surgeon and there it is — the dead eyes! The guy is looming over me, I don’t have to kneel, haha, it’s a given. The look in his eyes pins me to the floor, his presence translates as — you’re a microbe and I’m a demiurge. My internal dialogue is “Fuuuuuuuk don’t let him know that you know! A psychopath surgeon?! Means he’s good at what he does!”. I continue to be lovely and ignore the arctic cold. He doesn’t say a word, just a fixed, disinterested, unemotional gaze, the end. After the surgery ended, his completely opposite radiant empathic assistant delivered me the “trophy” and let me know that the surgery took longer than planned because the doctor applied some ultra special stitches for a better scar…(bla?) which is usually not applied in this instance. Lucky me and I didn’t have to pay extra.
You see WN, it’s not about avoiding what can’t be avoided. Be it normals, narcs, psychopaths, empaths — it’s about knowing who ticks in what way and accepting it. No one from these classifications is obliged to do anything positive for “you” and still they can. Independent of what you do or not. Or maybe it has to do with how you encounter them. I have no idea. Just sharing my experience.
By the way, the concept of nirvana makes me wanna puke. If you’d have studied it you’d understand that it’s the worst state one can find themselves in. A living veg in stagnation where critical thinking is eradicated from the system.
Hi Jordy,
Thank you for your reply.
“Maybe you came across as bossy or pissed them off without realising it, so they were not concerned about your problems/ not interested in giving their best for you.”
While reading this part of your comment, it brought back very distinct memories of my mother saying the same thing when I attempted to tell her about situations I was involved in.
Of course it’s my fault. With my mother, it was *always* because of me and my attitude.
What else could it ever be? hahahaha
And thank you for once again relaying the fantasy trope of the ice-cold psychopath surgeon who performs an absolutely perfect surgery and even spends longer without charging to make the stitches invisible.
Honestly, it’s a trope.
I have worked with doctors – quite a few of them. I know what they say and do when patients can’t see or hear them. I have seen how they treat nurses and assistants too. I could give you some good examples and also some toe-curling examples that would make you rethink your shining example of a psychopath surgeon.
A real-life hospital or doctor’s practice is not like the hospitals or practices portrayed on TV like ‘ER’ or even in ‘reality shows’ like ’24 Hours in A&E’. TV shows like that highlight the good.
I have also visited a number of doctors and surgeons as a patient and in the course of members of my family having serious and long-term illnesses. Again, there are both trustworthy ones and not so trustworthy ones. The same goes for nurses and others in the field.
Doctors are human like everyone – and that includes psychopaths also. Some of them think that wearing a white coat and having authority in the presence of ill, frail, daunted or suffering people makes them some kind of messiah.
This is the way I see it, Jordy:
If I have to be super-vigilant about every word I say and every possible action that could rub a surgeon the wrong way; if I need to ‘kneel’ in their presence and sugarcoat my words and sentences; if I have to ignore instances of racism, or other unspoken but evident prejudices and place my life in their hands anyway; etc, … and trust that the (possibly psychopath) surgeon will actually do what they say they will do, then frankly, I’d rather avoid them.
Again, as I said before (profusely), I do not wish to offend you or anyone else. I am stating my observations.
… and something else I’d like to add, Jordy…
Your absolute, unquestioning insistence that an ice-cold psychopath *must* be “good at what he does” simply because he or she is a psychopath is actually a kind of belief in a ‘nirvana’.
On the one hand, you say you that the concept of a ‘nirvana’ sickens you because it is:
“… the worst state one can find themselves in. A living veg in stagnation where critical thinking is eradicated from the system.”
On the other hand, you throw critical thinking out of the equation when you say that a psychopath surgeon will “be good at what he does” simply because he’s an ice-cold psychopath.
How do you know that ‘ice-cold’ automatically translates to being good at something? How do you know that having empathy automatically translates to not having skill?
You contradict yourself in your comment.
I’m being honest here and not argumentative or critical.
Hi again Jordy,
In addition to my earlier messages, I would like to thank you for this conversation. I appreciate your time and effort in explaining your thoughts and ideas.
You are right – I can’t avoid the majority of the population on this planet. This is the reality and it will not change. The only person I can change is myself.
Maybe I do come across as bossy and do piss people off without realising it? I will take that on board and learn from it.
Have a good day, Jordy.
Hello WN!
You reached out to me wanting to chat about “kneeling”, which is cool and please do so, and you’ve ended up explaining that you’re treated unfairly on a regular basis throughout your whole life, which is fine too, I’m here for you, Tudorites stick together. But only five minutes ago it was all “horizontal” where you grew up and lived (see your first comment) and now it’s a bad, bad world which you must avoid. Yep, I see the moral of the story — it’s flipping the coin from moment to moment. So much Re contradiction. Now you managed to paint the example I provided to you about the surgeon into — how nirvanish of you to assume that a psychopath surgeon is good at his job, and if you only knew how they really are, you soap-opera watching loon.
How do I know he is good at his job? It’s the evidence, babe, the evidence — my damn scar he bothered to make prettier than it would have turned out would he not. I guess the man has a soft spot for aesthetics. But I also listen to HG, you know, when he says “I would prefer a psychopath surgeon and an empath nurse”, and that’s how I know that the chances are overly good for a psychopath to be good at what he does. Because psychopaths like to achieve and shine in their field and it has to do with Psychopath’s Prime Aims (see the relevant video on HG’s second channel) Just as an empath nurse can’t be anything less than good if she is an empath (nurse), it’s kinda logical, save -the erosion of empathy- case.
WiserNow wrote: “How do you know that having empathy automatically translates to not having skill?” — WHERE have I written this kind of shite?????? Please provide evidence. Thank you.
As I already mentioned, HG’s information gives me the advantage of better dealing with people and the world as a whole and enables me to lead a much more fulfilled, exiting and much more relaxed life than before, with an outlook for an even more incredible future due to the developing skill of fast recognition and decision making. And there is no need for repeated disclaimers throughout your posts that you’re all puka and that I should not misunderstand your commentary. You are entitled to vent your spleen in the way you deem necessary and leave it up to me to understand your information, including the recognition of the possible crux. And thank you for engaging and providing further examples for my understanding.
I’m speculating now, but the reason for your chronic bad luck with people may stem from anxiety on your part which has the potential of making you come across as bossy. If you have to “dread each and every time” simple processes and encounters, expecting assholes to ruin your day, what good does it do for you? It will only make you heavily ill over time. Have you checked that area? Anxiety, I mean.
It is valid and sane to avoid what you want and can avoid, but what you can’t avoid — isn’t it wiser to develop a strategy which will be less akin to dread?
And here I also wonder, are you a seasoned bad-news-consumer? Do you surround yourself with negative information on a daily basis? Do you watch, read and listen to horrible stories which are happening in the world, you can’t change, which is causing you stress and anxiety? Or are you in the middle of life threatening situations? Conflicts you can’t avoid?
The world is filled with normals and occasional narcs and disordered people and unempathic ways and systems, no one takes that away from you. But there are also many good people and outcomes. I hope you can recognise that as well and somehow find your way into the positive current.
Jordy,
Another thing about your reply that is pertinent and a point that I would like to address…
You say:
“… I wasn’t there in the room with you, so I don’t know what your interaction style was towards the doctor and the contractors.”
My earlier comment wasn’t about ‘interaction styles’ and I didn’t ask you for or expect any kind of commentary on unmentioned ‘interaction styles’.
The examples in my earlier comment were meant to illustrate the way so-called ‘experts’ and those who claim to have skill cannot be relied upon. The examples showed how ‘avoidance’ is preferable to reliance on the claims people make and then being misled or manipulated.
In my earlier comment, I didn’t mention the quality of the interactions. In each of the examples given, my interactions in the immediate presence of the doctor and contractors were largely positive, reciprocal, civil and respectful.
The point I was making was that the so-called ‘experts’ who were charging for their services were ultimately unreliable. This unreliability has resulted in the consequence that I now prefer to adopt an instant stance of mistrust or avoidance.
It is interesting though, that you wrongly assumed at the outset that I wanted or needed your advice about ‘interaction styles’.
It isn’t the style of interaction that matters in the longer term. Rather, it is reliability and trustworthiness.
Notwithstanding the above, Jordy, I still thank you for our interaction. While I didn’t ask for or need your commentary about my interaction style, the fact that you felt impelled to provide it anyway says something.
Jordy,
This is a reply to your comment dated 4 April, 2025 at 19:30.
When I found this blog, I thought I had found my “way into the positive current.” I thought that being in the company of people who were interested in gaining knowledge and learning about the underlying motivations for human behaviour would be preferable to being with people ‘in real life’ who didn’t pay as much attention to these things.
I thought that being in a place where there were a higher number of aware and empathic people would be a socially ‘positive’ experience.
To an extent, it has been a good learning experience.
It has also been very much a socially negative experience.
By the way, don’t call me a ‘Tudorite’, please. To me, this blog isn’t a fan-club. Fan clubs are like cults. I would prefer to retain my common sense and critical thinking, thank you.
By the overall content of your comment, I can see that you have misinterpreted much of what I have said. Oh well. I think I have made myself clear enough. I added examples and described my lived experience. If you are determined to misunderstand and misinterpret, then that’s disappointing. It doesn’t assist either of us – nor others on this blog – to reach a point of clearer understanding.
WN,
1. Where is the evidence for this statement of yours?
WiserNow wrote: “How do you know that having empathy automatically translates to not having skill?”
Again, please point me to where I have stated that empathy automatically translates to not having skill???
Is the above alternation of reality how “reliability and trustworthiness” is built within your interactions with other people?
2. WiserNow wrote: “While I didn’t ask for or need your commentary about my interaction style, the fact that you felt impelled to provide it anyway says something.”
You engage in double standards, WN. It’s absolutely normal for you to feel impelled to provide commentary on what social structure I come from — according to you it’s “vertical” compared to yours “horizontal” — but I should not question your interaction styles?
Indeed especially after the vertical VS horizontal triangulation — triangulation with concept, triangulation and comparison with yourself, elevating yourself as a personality of a horizontal equal standards values — I’d wonder about your interaction style, not just on this blog.
3. WiserNow wrote: “If you are determined to misunderstand and misinterpret, then that’s disappointing. It doesn’t assist either of us – nor others on this blog”
I disappoint you and you are determining what doesn’t assist others and me on this blog?
Not only “horizontal” and a standard to be measured against but a mind reader also, you are impressive!
4. WiserNow wrote: “By the way, don’t call me a ‘Tudorite’, please. To me, this blog isn’t a fan-club. Fan clubs are like cults. I would prefer to retain my common sense and critical thinking, thank you.”
Cheers, you did it again WN!
Tudorite Jordyguin
Jordy,
Correction: Being here on the blog has been, and still is, an absolutely fantastic learning experience.
I sincerely don’t know where I would be now or in what state if I had not been here.
For this, I am very, very grateful to HG and I appreciate his work very much.
WiserNow,
I can understand that you have come to see it as a socially negative experience.
Jordyguin,
1) In an earlier comment, in describing your reaction to your assumption that your surgeon was a psychopath, you relayed that you thought the following:
“A psychopath surgeon?! Means he’s good at what he does!”
(By the way, how did you know the surgeon was a psychopath? Did you put him through HG’s Narc Detector test before your surgery?)
Your emphatic reaction – i.e. “Means he’s good at what he does!” sounded like you were jumping to a conclusion.
In my reply when I said:
“How do you know that ‘ice-cold’ automatically translates to being good at something?”
This was a question based on the facts of your example.
When I said:
“How do you know that having empathy automatically translates to not having skill?”
This was a rhetorical question based on your assumption about your psychopath surgeon. If your surgeon happened to be an empath, it sounds like you would not have been convinced that being an empath surgeon “means he’s good at what he does.”
2) With regard to my commentary about vertical/horizontal social structures, this was directly related to my thoughts about your use of the word ‘kneeling’ and removing armor in reference to your interacting with a child.
Also, in my comment about social structures, I repeatedly said that it was not a criticism or judgement. I wanted to make it clear that it was an observation only. While communicating my thoughts, I suspected it would be likely to be interpreted as a judgement and it wasn’t.
I also said that each social structure has its pros and cons and that neither can exist in its purest form.
With regard to your comment about my interaction style, it came across as though you misunderstood my examples which were supposed to point out how I could not fully rely on the people I had described. Instead, you immediately assumed that my examples were based on *my* interaction style.
With regard to the points you have raised about ‘triangulation’, I think you’re over-egging the pudding here, Jordy.
As I said repeatedly, my commentary about vertical and horizontal social structures amounted to observations.
3) I think you’re over-egging the pudding here as well. As far as I’m concerned, we were, and I am still, having a civil conversation. I have not judged you and I am communicating my thoughts and observations.
To me, you are misunderstanding and misinterpreting. While you feel you have a right to focus on my ‘interaction style’ both here on the blog and elsewhere, you seem to be blind to your own.
I enjoy communicating with you and others on the blog, Jordy. I have no reason to argue with you. What I’m seeing in your replies is a tone of combativeness and I’m not sure why.
Jordy, you say in your comment about yourself that “I disappoint you.” That is just one small example of a misunderstanding. It wasn’t “you” that disappointed me.
What I meant was that it was disappointing that in your reply, you came to conclusions that were unrelated to what I was referring to.
4) For your info, I don’t particularly see myself as a ‘Tudorite’. If you or others see yourselves in that way, that’s fine with me.
The name reminds me of fan clubs, similar to the way Lady Gaga calls her fans ‘little monsters’ and Taylor Swft calls her fans ‘swifties’.
I think the people here on the blog are not just ‘fans’. We can have many varied views and opinions and we do not always have to be ‘fans’ of everything HG says and does. In fact, I think fan clubs can be toxic and dogmatic and can stifle thought. My opinion.
For your info as well, I’m not really sure I like being called ‘babe’ either, although it did make me chuckle. Should I call you Stud?
Jordy,
What do you mean by “you did it again”?
WN,
A correction of what? A facade?
PS.
I don’t think Jordy (or anyone) will argue with me or misunderstand or misinterpret or read too much or too little into this comment.
I get the feeling it will be crystal clear.
haha … funny.
Thank you, Anna Plyance, it’s kind of you to say you understand.
By the way, sorry for the late reply.
HG, hello:
Speaking of children. I keep reading from psychoanalytic that narcissism is born in children infancy 0-6 months when another does not respond well neglects or abuses her child. So the baby has needs and mama is not there making baby feel dead. So no self occurs which you need for empathy. You must love yourself to love others. 1. You say 0-9 what changes? A possible intervention of a person who gives the child love? My guess. So empathy can develop… Now let’s look at narcissism as a win over the collective. Worldwide people aren’t having children as the cost of living is too high, the younger generation suffers to afford cars and can’t afford housing. 10 million Americans have defaulted on student loans, 80% of corporate wealth is in 10% hands and 60% is in their hands. Rent has gone 7times over salaries. Retail is going Bk due to Amazon. Military in USA I down as totalitarian regimes like China rise. Let’s see if ejecting illegal immigrants dies a thing to most peoples lives. The environmental harm is real. AI is going to rise and take jobs. 3. What future do narcs and psychopaths see? I see a history of when the masses are oppressed … and it’s not pretty.
4. All due to a bad mother and a gene?
I find the physical act of kneeling to be very powerful. I enjoy the acknowledgment of hierarchy it externalizes. It reifies and affirms order. But I must be the one who kneels. I can’t tolerate it to have anyone kneel before me. The very sight of it twists my guts and ruins the magic.
Hi Allison,
Interesting perspective. Your comment prompts a number of questions for me.
In relation to the “acknowledgement of hierarchy (that kneeling) externalises” and the affirming of order, a question for you:
In the recent interactions between Dr Sophie Chandauka, Prince Harry and TOW that Dr Chandauka made public in her interview with Trevor Phillips on the Sky News channel, who do you believe should have ‘kneeled’?
Do you think that Dr Chandauka’s role, as Chairwoman of the Board of Trustees of Sentebale, was higher in the hierarchy than Prince Harry’s, notwithstanding that he is a patron and so-called ‘founder’ of the charity?
Should Prince Harry have kneeled? Would that have affirmed order within the charity?
What about TOW? She is the wife of a trustee. As such, she has no specific or designated role in the charity. Should Prince Harry have expected the Chairwoman to kneel before his wife?
Hi, WiserNow–
I haven’t had time to catch up on the charity story, but I understand it’s a scandal with serious matters involved. I can only say that in general I think the normal protocols for engaging with royalty should be followed, but I don’t know what those are regarding specific occasions. My order for a copy of Debrett’s had to be canceled due to logistics and I’m looking for another supplier.
Different situations with various heads of state have their requirements according to tradition, and if kneeling is customary I certainly approve of it. I may have my personal feelings about that individual in power over me, but I would wish to follow the proper protocols and exhibit good behavior regardless. I’m not one to let my gag reflex prevent me from doing my duty so easily. (*ahem*) For me it’s about the office and the tradition.
As an example, I hated my priest. He was a pitiful little man. But, I enjoyed observing my role in honoring the position by kissing his ring and kneeling as appropriate. I received even more enjoyment when meeting with our bishop as the rank was higher and more deference was needed on my part. I liked the clarity of keeping quiet, following the rule, affirming the order, and then disappearing.
The world is painful and unpredictable, and unfortunately, we do not get to choose our parents or control what happens to us in our earliest years. We carry wounds from experiences we never asked for, burdens placed upon us by those who should have protected us. That is not our fault. But once we come to the knowledge of the truth, once we see that the emptiness within cannot be filled by anything in this world, we are faced with a choice.
No man, no philosophy, no earthly force can redeem or save a broken soul. Only God can do that. The longing, the pain, the ache for understanding and restoration—it is a spiritual void that only He can fill. But this requires willingness, surrender, and forgiveness. Willingness to see the truth beyond the illusions we create. Surrender to the One who is truly sovereign. And forgiveness—not as an act of excusing wrongs but as a release from the chains of bitterness that keep us bound.
There is no human being, no “redeemer” of flesh and blood who can provide salvation. To believe otherwise is to fall into deception, into the very cycle of control and manipulation that deepens the wounds rather than heals them. The true path to healing is not found in another broken vessel seeking to be a savior, but in the One who was sent to be The Savior—Jesus Christ.
You do not have to remain bound to the past, nor do you have to kneel before anyone seeking to absorb your pain for their own purposes. The only true anointed hand is the hand of God. The only true redemption is through Him. And the moment we recognize that, the emptiness that once consumed us begins to lose its power. The void is no longer an abyss, but a space made whole by His grace.
Im sorry, but tbh, people like you, who teach about GOD, surrender and forgiveness, scare me even more than HG.
Damn, looks like I need to work harder.
REPENT of your Sins, Mr Tudor!
))) sorry, I’m joking. No, on Evil scale, you are at the top level, HG. No need to go harder, please.
Lilu, you lil pervert. No need to go harder? No, go harder!
)) yes, I need redemption.
Lilu and Jordyguin–
I’m thinking of a number between 1 and 3.
Humm..I’m reading your mind, Allison, reading your mind, reading your mind…..the number you’re thinking of is….🔥9
Hey, Alison)
Sorry, I didn’t get that. Wym by saying “thinking of a number 1 and 3”?
“Wym by saying “thinking of a number 1 and 3”?”
If you know you know.
Oh Mr. Tudor, now I am hearing Gaston’s song (reprise) from Beauty and the Beast…but changing the lyrics ever so slightly to apply to you…
HG: “Dani, I’m afraid I’ve been thinking…”
Dani: “A dangerous pastime…”
HG: “for others.
But challenge fuel fills my tumtum.
What is the Ultra to do?
Now the wheels in my head have been turning.
since I read those words about me…
See I must command the most fear in land
And right now I’m plotting intrigue…”
{HG sits silently with his fingers steepled…face shrouded in the shadows}
Dani: “You could call your IPPS for positive fuel…”
{HG points an elegant finger to the naughty step}
{Dani hangs head and walks slowly to the step…}
{Dani singing quietly on the naughty step} No one fuels up like HG. Takes control like HG. Plans revenge against innocent empaths like HG…so his power we soon will be celebrating…
I’m done now…thank you, sir.
And as you sit there rocking on the naughty step, HG sitting on the throne, the Succession Main Theme begins to play inviting you to the Waltz and Act 1 Pas de Deux of Doom in the main hall of the Tudor Towers…
Jordyguin–
*stands up on step and dances in slow circles on the naughty step*
I want to dance now…to that delicious, mildly sinister and duplicitous tune…or make tea to serve Mr. Tudor to it…with a silver spoon and the finest china tea set.
Dani bunny, Gaston will hole up in the mountains for months after witnessing that… I hope you’re wearing a gorgeous late Victorian dress… and I think HG might get hungry as well, a man can’t just live off tea. That beautiful silver spoon looks so empty and lonely, yes?
Jordy…
What food to serve…I could make him a chicken Caesar salad too. I know he likes that. Or yogurt and berries. Or cookies or crumpets…
I would wear what Mr. Tudor told me to wear…I do not want to be a trouble maker or rabble rouser if I were granted permission to visit Tudor Towers…
Mmmm that’s yummy, Dani!..Trouble maker and rabble rouser hahaha, now I’m afraid to ask what would be your creative freedom fash-onn?
Jordy–
This might be my outfit…
https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExc201dGIyYzIzemtubTU4djNxdTM2NmowMGg2cXF1aTZsNm04c3MwMiZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/QzlYkLhEZOl2M/giphy.gif
or
https://tenor.com/view/cinderella1950-gif-7826731
*shrugs and smiles*
Please don’t. I’m sufficiently fearful.
Hi Lilu,
I can’t find your original post about the man you’ve only known for 12 days and he’s already telling you that he loves you. But I wanted to respond, so I’m responding here. I think its a very good idea for you to look up some articles about love bombing and to buy Mr. Tudor’s book, Red Flag. Love bombing is a huge indicator of narcissism. If it was me, I’d be asking myself how he could love me when he doesn’t even know me. Its a HUGE red flag.
Hello Leigh 🙂
Yes, I recongnize it’s a bit of concern. I have bought Red flag book, thou unfortunately, haven’t got time to read it yet. I hope I can have one free day soon to spare for it. I still have unpacked boxes. And many other things. My fridge right now is almost empty literally, just cheese, tomatos and milk for coffee. And I obviously suck at cooking. Probably, even Meghan Markle is better than me. Recently, I’ve learned that it’s a bad idea to put frozen vegetables into the omlet – went to trash bin, then I tried rice, it all came out as one big white sticky mass – to garbage, then tried a simple cake – half of it was black another brown – followed the fate of its predecesors. Tomorrow, I schedule a challenge for me to prepare a pasta. Fingers crossed.
My 2nd husband was an excellent cook, he even was thinking of an opening a restaurant. He was doing all the cooking. When I was trying to prepare smth too, he would have been just standing near me, and watching with arms crossed at chest, leaning against the wall. And then instead of helping me he would just laugh and mock me if smth goes wrong (and it often did) or I was doing smth not properly. I hated that. It was hurting me, but he didnt get it. For him, he was just joking. Once I recall, I asked for his advise, he said: “google it” and there was an open full pack of pasta (small pieces) and I said: F u, and threw it at him. The pasta was flying and scattered all over the kitchen. And even if I managed to cook smth, while he was away from home, he won’t eat it, even not try it and would do smth tastier, so my daughter would eat his dish and not mine. Eventually, I gave up and stopped cooking at all.
Okay, back to that person. Who says he loves me and wants me to move in with him now, lol. And seem even a bit obsessed. Idk, he is 39 years old, like my soon to be ex husband, but he behaves like a teenager, always horny and jokes a lot. So I don’t think he is serious. Ofc, I told him a few times that he cannot possibly love me, cuz he doesn’t know me. He replied he knows enough. There are other red flags and sometimes he stares at me in a weird way. Anyway, it’s all good, I’m simply having fun. I don’t love him and he knows that. And it looks like he is a kind person. I just sometimes, feel a bit overwhelmed by his attention and expectations. I don’t need that rn.
Hi Lilu,
Since you’re a bit busy right now, maybe you can just peruse Red Flag for now. You can look at the list of red flags and if one resonates, you can then read more of the details of that particular red flag.
Even though you say you’re only having fun, you’re also saying you’re feeling overwhelmed and don’t need that right now. I know when I feel overwhelmed, its not fun at all. The feeling of being overwhelmed is because he’s crossing your boundaries. Please be careful. From what you write, you’re in the seduction phase and he’s love bombing you. I think the following articles will help.
https://narcsite.com/2023/09/27/knowing-the-narcissist-forever-on-the-fake-2/
https://narcsite.com/2023/10/13/knowing-the-narcissist-love-bombing-if-the-narcissist-was-honest-4/
Hey, Lilu–
Pay attention to your feelings of overwhelm. They may be trying to keep you from kidding yourself about the fun.
TOW wants to project that she’s absolutely better than everyone and everything in every way, but the proof is in the pudding. The pudding that she can’t cook.
I’m willing to grant that this Somatic narcissist is better than me at certain things. Then again, I’m not a professional.
Hello Leigh and Allison,
Thank you for replying. It’s okay. If he is a Narcissist and is lovebombing, it’s not working. I can handle him.
I met another man just recently. And it’s a bit intense and I feel a strong pull towards him. He doesn’t say that he loves me. No. But a few days ago, going to sleep, I realized I hadn’t eaten anything, except coffee at the morning and then it took me two days instead of two hours to review and comment on an important document at work. And that is not good. Reading blog here, listening YT, interacting with my children, helps me to keep a fog away and distract. So it should be fine.
And yeah, a few days ago I’ve a got a notification in my inbox from FB : “xx is a new friend suggestion”. And it’s a confirmed narc who led me here to this channel. It’s funny.