Fuel
Are you involved with someone whose behaviour makes no sense to you? Does this person treat you with kindness one moment and spiteful hatred the next? Does this individual flirt with others despite being in a relationship with you? Is he or she boastful, arrogant and always fishing for compliments?
Does this person seem to revel in provoking other people, angering them or upsetting them, yet you cannot work out why this person acts in this way? The answers lie in this book. The driving force behind these strange and upsetting behaviours all comes down to fuel.
Read about what fuel is, how it makes that person feel, why they need it, how they get it and what your role is in supplying them with fuel. Learn all about fuel and you will question his or her behaviour no longer and you will be armed with information to do something about it and protect yourself and those you care about.
5 thoughts on “Fuel”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Is negative fuel also objectively more potent by itself and therefore justifies investing more energy into getting it, or is it only ever the case that because you have to invest more energy to bring forth the requisite reaction this subjectively then increases the potency of negative fuel? In other words, would negative fuel lose its potency advantage if it was just as easy or even easier to get than the positive variety?
If somebody reliably blows up at you if you so much as look at him but never cracks a smile or gives you a compliment, no matter how funny or brilliant you are, does that make him a good target or a useless one?
This is addressed in the book Fuel.
FUEL, a very useful, recommended read. It’s in the top 5 , of your books for me, HG! Xx
You think I didn’t reread that before asking?
You have talked about how you see the progression of a relationship into “a less exciting, deep-seated kind of love” as treachery because the “fuel changes in terms of output and potency.” (https://narcsite.com/2016/11/13/my-point-of-view/#comment-47045)
On the negative side that seems fair, it is probably not as difficult to annoy or get a rise out of your long-term partner as in the early stages of a romance because you have come to know their pet peeves and sensitivities and there can be a build-up of irritation at their irksome habits. Familiarity breeds contempt and all that.
However, I would posit that, while you do get used to the type of reaction you can expect from your partner, logically the positive fuel in a long-lasting relationship actually ought to be classified as more potent than at the beginning, because it is typically far more difficult to get a positive reaction from a long-term partner than from a new lover. How many people are successful at getting an honest laugh or even a smile out of their spouse after 20 years or more? The jokes that caused your new girl to be in stitches of laughter just don’t cut it with your wife who has heard them a thousand times, you may need to make far more of an effort to get even a teeny tiny raising of the corners of her mouth, never mind straight out laughter. Your new boyfriend might have given you gushing compliments when you cut your hair by an inch, but try getting your husband of 20 years to even notice that you have had a total makeover and lost 20 pounds of weight.
In the very best relationships, this should be different, because your partner will always look to give you validation and make you feel loved and cared for, but is this really the state of affairs in the majority of marriages or long-term relationships? I would say in many relationships it is far easier to get your long-term partner to snipe at you than smile.