Bryan Kohberger – Victim Impact – Did It Affect Him?
25 thoughts on “Bryan Kohberger – Victim Impact – Did It Affect Him?”
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HG, thank you so much for presenting to us the reaction of Bryan Kohberger in this video and also Johnny Depp’s to Amber Heard’s abuse. I found them to be particularly fascinating for how they broaden our horizon beyond narcissism towards psychopaths and narcissistic people. I do not think there are many people alive who would have had even an inkling of what goes on in Kohberger’s mind without your detailed explanation or unless they are psychopaths themselves. This became glaringly obvious in the reactions to this victim impact statement.
The video on Johnny Depp’s way of coping with the fallout from his involvement with Amber Heard was so valuable to me because of how you highlighted the different perspective and reaction of a narcissistic person compared to an empath. I would be extremely interested in hearing more about the effects of narcissistic abuse on normal and narcissistic victims.
For anyone who has not yet seen it, I highly recommend watching “Johnny Depp: The Amber Heard Impact Of the Narcissist”. It is different to everything I have seen so far in HG’s repertoire.
Thank you Anna, I am pleased you found them interesting.
I have not yet finished watching your videos about the Heard-Depp trial, so I apologise if you have addressed this there. Would Johnny Depp’s refusal to look at Amber Heard during the whole trial have been straight-out pure wounding? Or could Heard actually have felt that he was under control because his behaviour was de facto a reaction to her presence in the room? To some degree she controlled where he was (not) looking. He was not so much ignoring her as deliberately looking the other way. Ignoring her completely would have meant treating her as actually invisible, i.e. looking where she was sitting but seeing through her as if she was not there.
He was ignoring her which will have wounded her.
I agree, Anna Plyance. It was very interesting to get the Drop update and understand that difference. I was also fascinated in the trial with how he never looked at her, not once that was shown. She looked at him lots, wanting his fuel and to assert control. But he did laugh at some of her behavior.
Dani,
not looking at her during the trial was a very effective move. I think it might have been one of the factors which caused her to over-act and ruin any chances of the jury believing her.
But Anna Plyance…you did not believe her acting when she stopped crying and looked around to see if everyone was ready for the next scene…I agree. Watching wounding in real time…particularly when the lawyer mentioned it was interesting to view from a place of zero emotional stakes.
His attorneys coached him too
Mr. Tudor,
I have seen other murderers as victim impact statements are given. It’s very disturbing, the cold dismissiveness he has. Another impact statement I inadvertently found myself watching…the individual was going to jail for life. But as this mother was pouring her heart out, tears streaming down her face, choked sobs in her voice…he was laughing and looking around at others in his family who were with him, then back at her (and probably others supporting her who were looking at him). I know you can’t say from just that piece of evidence what he was. But would laughing more likely be narcissistic indicators than psychopathic ones? I had to navigate away before I heard more.
Thank you so much for your time. Much appreciated.
Narcissists may laugh at others’ pain to feel superior or to bolster their self-image. This stems from a lack of empathy and a need for admiration or control. They might find amusement in others’ suffering if it reinforces their sense of power or validates their worldview, but it’s often more about self-aggrandizement than deliberate cruelty. It is likely to be done to provoke a response for control and fuel.
Psychopaths may laugh at pain due to a profound lack of emotional empathy and a tendency toward sadistic pleasure. This behavior is more calculated and cold, often enjoying the suffering itself or using it to manipulate. Psychopathy involves a deeper emotional detachment and can include thrill-seeking through others’ distress.
Both could laugh, naturally I don’t know enough with regard to the instance you refer to in order to make a determination, but on balance whilst both might laugh at the suffering and pain of another it’s more likely to be seen with narcissists.
Thank you, sir. I really enjoyed your thorough answer.
Hello HG:
What I find interesting about pure psychopaths is they seem like dry toast, monotone without the charm of narcissistic psychopaths. Am I right? Yet, psychopaths are often heads of industry and financial fraudsters more so then psychopath serial killers who are rare. Thus to get another’s money they must be persuasive. My ex was a pure psychopath and while often flat, stable, no highs or lows he was very funny and that’s charm. Could you give an example of a pure psychopath who is charming, was Bernie Madoff one? Thank you in advance if you bless me with a response:)
Hi Contagious,
You’ve piqued my interest too. I wonder if their are any notable pure psychopaths that are charming. Jim Jones and Charles Manson must’ve had some degree of charm in order to convince that many people to follow them. Were they pure psychopaths?
I’m pleased to see someone who knows it’s piqued and not peeked or peaked. Seen far too much of the incorrect versions recently (not on her of course, my readers have brains).
Mr. Tudor,
I really want to refrain from acting like a school girl but I’m so pleased, you’re pleased!
Hi Leigh,
Ted Bundy was known to be particularly charming. Don’t know if he was a pure psychopath though.
Xx
Hi TS,
Bundy is an interesting one to think about. He got married during his trial. Somehow he managed to charm her even though he was on trial for murder. That’s gotta take a degree of charm.
I’d love an example of a pure psychopath with charisma and charm. They don’t even have fo be serial killers. I just want to be able to see the behaviors at work so I can decipher the difference.
Leigh,
I’ve an apple in my backpack somewhere. (Probably underneath that stale pack of Jellybabies) 😉
Xx
Hi TS,
I might need that apple to butter up the teacher, lol! I just reread one of my comments to Dani and I used “heal” instead of “heel”. SMH!
Hi Leigh,
Ted Bundy comes to my mind, but I’m not sure if he was a pure psychopath or not. My brother could be charming too and I know he came back Psychopath from his NDC. Charm is a powerful manipulation that psychopaths can use as well as narcissists can, from my own experiences with watching my brother’s behaviors growing up with him and as an adult, when he was alive. Xx
Hi Rebecca,
I have no one in my life whose a pure psychopath or a narcissistic psychopath either. So I have no way to gauge it.
Kohberger and McCullough displayed no charm at all. They’re both pure psychopaths. I want to see a what it looks like when a pure psychopath is using charm.
I don’t why I’m so intrigued by this, but I am.
Hi Leigh,
Yes, I think you’re going to need more than an apple! 😂
Just you watch now, I’ll be dropping typos everywhere after that!
Xx
Leigh,
If it makes you feel better to know, I find psychopathy interesting too. I like knowing the why’s and how’s of psychopathy and narcissism. I have a natural curiousity for knowledge about psychopathy and narcissism, and some other related subjects….I find some people think they are dark subjects, but it’s what I want to know more about. I dig farther and find it even more interesting. Xx
Thank you, Rebecca! It does make me feel better! I agree that narcissism and psychopathy are dark subjects but I want to dig deeper too. Mr. Tudor has given us a glimpse into human behavior, which I’m so very thankful for, but I want more.
Hi HG:
I got Lily Allen’s book My Thoughts Exactly and her first chapter demonstrates someone with a lack of identity, depression, recklessness etc….she describes herself as a “narcissist and a co-dependent.”
1. Is that even possible?
One thing was a red flag for me was her comment about her childhood being hazy, washed out, forgotten.
My ex a middle lesser said it was “ odd” that he “can’t recall most of his childhood. It’s all black. “ It’s interesting HG as you write in detail about your childhood even the tragic parts. I wonder if the “ unaware” narcs are unaware of their past childhood in general.
2 .Is that common? …as they buried their memories of their childhood or the trauma often filled with abuse. Along with their shame. Burying memories to construct one that is bearable.
But narcs tend to abuse the same way they were abused or the cycle of abuse. My ex for example was subject to silent treatments, isolation and food deprivation and he admits coercive control by two screwed up women. And weak men who fled and abandoned him.
Yet silent treatment is his go to. I know it’s about control.
The first time he did it. I had no idea what it was. I thought he was dead or injured. … then I found you. And was utterly sickened.
The second time he did it. I found another man to talk to, and share a bed with.
When he found out he went mental, full fury. But oddly one of the things he said was “ you showed me up.” It was telling. Did he really care if I was with another man? If so, he should have not left and gone silent. Even in the animal world, males stay near the females to protect their position. I think what bothered him was he did not control me. I don’t think I am controllable.
The third time was he left after discovering my “affair”. This is not true as we were legally separated pending divorce and I TOLD him I was seeing another. He just thought I would not consummate it. Our divorce finalized this year. I stopped allowing him to live with me. 3 Strikes your out. She was an American girl ….
But back to silent treatments it was the air he breathed but natural to him. It’s about control but he doesn’t seem to get the ineffective nature of it all. He only hurt himself, stepped on his own …yet I think he can’t help it.
3. Do narcs engage in abuse because it’s all they know and without evaluating the consequences? My ex just did not get it. We won’t get back ever but if I did, no doubt he would still engage in his “ go to” behaviors learned in childhood with as much perception and memory as his childhood.
4. Do narcs have the ability to reflect on their effectiveness of “ control” tactics? Or is it on autopilot like their awareness of being a narc? Most… not all… maybe not the ultra or greater …. But even then….
5.? I mean in the end what does abusing others get you in the long term? Broken relationships… maybe legal problems…and retaliation?
I guess happiness is not a goal as narcs don’t know what that is… or love.
But in general while I get how some abuse like brute force
In a wide scale like war can gain property, $…. It just seems like overall abusing others is short term. Maybe greater are very selective and cunning in who and how they do it. ???
And the more sophisticated psychopaths are more skilled at controlling their impulses as you said….