A Reader´s Guide To Helping Others

Detailed below is a reader´s recommendations for assisting others in relation to my work. The reader details the articles and videos that they recommend to people who are ensnared with a narcissist in order to provide them with a guide to achieving freedom. You may find it helpful to use this guide to assist others or you may have your own recommendations or adjustments to this particular guide. Here is the guide.

I have acted as guide for a few ensnared empaths now.

I start with the following.

The Ultra Framework
What is Narcissism?
What Makes a Narcissist?
Can the narcissist be cured?
The Prime Aims of the narcissist.
Get Out Stay Out.

Then, it’s a case of questioning, getting people to open up about their own experience. I tend to find that empaths are stuck replaying the golden period. If that is the case, work with that and forward videos about the golden period so that they understand the con.

If they are caught in the loop reliving aspects of their devaluation, again, work with it and forward videos from the devaluation playlist.

It’s important to establish what position they occupied in the fuel matrix so you forward the correct and most relevant material,

It’s important also to establish what school and cadre of narcissist they are dealing with. I advise people to invest in the NDC as again, removing doubt in their minds is key. The “ but what if he isn’t a narcissist?” question needs answering as soon as possible. Once that is established I find that people are more willing to bite down on the material and you can begin forwarding videos daily.

The more they can recognise their own experiences in the videos the more convinced they are, the more likely it is that they will stick to a No Contact regime. Recommend the book No Contact. This ensures they fully understand what No Contact entails.

Once No Contact is in place ( and it’s never fully in place to start with) you need to move to videos about hoovers. These seem to come in thick and fast at the start, often hoovers by proxy so these need to be closed down or you risk them being sucked in and stalling in terms of acceptance of the material.

The Spheres of Influence
The Preventative Hoover
Why Narcissists Hoover By Text
The Benign Follow Up Hoover Blinds You
Why Do You Keep Getting Hoovered?
How the Narcissist Uses Hope Against You by Hoovering.
Blocking is Not Enough

Talk about Emotional Thinking so that they learn how important this enemy within is and how crucial it is that they reduce ET as fast as possible. I also recommend The Addiction Triple Package as soon as I’m able to.

How your Emotional Thinking Causes Excuses
The Triple Threat of Emotional Thinking
Cognitive Dissonance and Emotional Thinking
Emotional Thinking: The Need to Contact the Narcissist

The Emotional Thinking videos are key. Go through the playlist and match the correct ET video to what is being described to you.

Then it’s a case of supporting, listening and using your own knowledge to match videos to topics and questions they bring up themselves. Videos that often hit home include:

6 Ways the Narcissist Uses Silent Treatments.
The Absent Silent Treatment
Murdering Without Feeling : Silent Treatments.

Ops HQ: The Narcissist’s phone
The Narcissist’s Wheel of Misery
The Five Most Common Manipulations of the Narcissist.
How the Narcissist Truly Sees You, also supported by You Must Grasp This One Thing About the Narcissist.

The Three Assertions of Control by the Narcissist
Control : What it is to the Narcissist
The 6 Phases of Fuelling

10 Rules of the Narcissist’s Social Media
Stay on Social Media : Stay Stuck.
10 Lies the Narcissist Will Use.

The 3 Strands of Empathy
The Imitation Game

At some point, when their Emotional Thinking is lower, you ideally want them to take over their own learning and recovery. Often the videos contain suggestions for additional videos to listen to. Suggest that they do this themselves. Get them used to searching and following suggested titles so that they explore the channel themselves.

I find that it depends how often you see people as to how much leading you tend to do and for how long.

Hopefully this should help get you started.