The Narcissist’s Playbook : It’s a Vak Attack!
385 thoughts on “The Narcissist’s Playbook : It’s a Vak Attack!”
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Dear Truthseeker, HG and anyone else with an opinion,
First of all, TS, your last reply to me was full of keen insights. Rather than go over them all though, I want to ask you – and HG, if either of you would like to add anything – about something niggling.
Regarding your point that Mark Vicente continued to make his documentary after the allegations of SV’s abuse, potentially without fully considering or assessing Anna’s capacity for the level of public scrutiny that would follow, as well as SV’s subsequent smearing and other fallout: do you think it would have been more ethical to halt production?
HG, do you think it would have been more ethical to halt the production? The subsequent pursuit of justice and attempts to thwart Sam’s conduct, his YouTube activities, etc., could presumably have been pursued behind the scenes.
I also wonder whether the documentary itself could have been conceived with another agenda in mind. Do either of you – or any readers – think it’s possible that the whole thing was set up, at least in part, to bag Vaknin? Could it be that Grannon already had the intelligence and worked with Mark from the outset to make a documentary about narcissism, for it to be subsequently twisted into something else?
And in much the same way that you, TS, have questioned whether MV adequately considered Anna’s position, even if she had agreed to proceed publicly, I’ve also wondered whether he gave sufficient consideration to Isla Traquair’s position. It feels like an awful lot for her to take on, too.
Not implying that Anna and Isla do not have their own minds, but I think your point about MV carrying on regardless is a good consideration. Was it heroic journalism, or was it a more selfish/sensationalist decision to keep it going? Maybe both?
It would have been hugely entertaining for the film maker sot have proceeded with the film but removed Vaknin from it. He would have had a major meltdown caused by this wounding, especially after his boasting about his involvement in the film. I was told that the filmmakers considered, when told of the abuse allegations, halting production and scrapping the film altogether and then considered stripping out Vaknin´s contribution and then they decided they “owed it to their financial backers to see it through”. I rather think they thought “great, we have a hook on which to promote the film by including this “twist”.
Aha, that would make sense, thank you HG. It certainly seems the ‘plot tweest’ is the pièce de résistance.
Hi Mari,
I think there are a lot of issues with the documentary and accompanying podcast. Misinformation about narcissism would be one, misinformation about Vaknin is another. Vaknin has been portrayed as an aware narcissist and psychopath, the dark Machiavellian manipulator who plans his moves, intentionally creates videos and invites victims to conferences simply so he can taunt them. I disagree. Vaknin makes his videos and writes his conference speeches about narcissism, he taunts in the moment as he sees no issue including real life examples of the abuse he is carrying out due to lack of emotional empathy for his victims. There’s a difference.
The way that he is portrayed is wholly incorrect in my view. In many ways they have bolstered his own grandiose view of himself as a self aware and omnipotent narcissistic psychopath when in reality he is an unaware midrange narcissist who cries at the drop of a hat, doles out pity plays left and right, and has to pee in a cup because he’s too scared to climb stairs without a bannister (and likely a safety net given his fear of heights.) Misinformation. Vaknin isn’t anything like how he is portrayed in the film, he’s a grimy midrange weeble that actually would fall down if you gave him a good wobble. If they had truly understood narcissism they could have shattered his construct whilst exposing him at the same time.
Grannon. The movie makers and so called experts are teaching us all about narcissism but can’t see what is right under their noses. They are entirely oblivious to the fact that they are taking advice about Vaknin from an unaware midrange narc who really doesn’t know his subject because he’s too busy crying in interviews, recounting his own abuse and playing the victim. Another so called expert on narcissism who is more interested in demonstrating his battle rope technique than getting his facts straight. When Isla showed him her encounter with Vaknin, the best he could manage was, “ He’s angry, very angry, and shocked.” Bravo Sherlock, the insight is strong with this one. Any one of us here on the blog could have given a better explanation of how Vaknin was responding to having his control threatened in that way. Pathetic.
It’s little wonder the movie makers thought they had won a watch when the abuse allegations came to light and the victims agreed to take part. Had Vicente removed Vaknin who was he left with? Battleroping Grannon and Dr Plagiariser, yet another unaware narcissist who was about as interesting as watching paint dry.
They have exposed Vaknin, that’s a good thing at least, but they have simultaneously portrayed Grannon not only as Vaknin’s victim, but as a hero, honourable champion of the female victims. Grannon is a narcissist who had no issue taking a victim to his hotel room for a bit of action after having spoken and commiserated with her for nine hours about her alleged experience at the hands of Vaknin. That’s no hero, that’s another abuser. I note that listeners of the podcast were largely sympathetic to our hero’s plight. Sliding into his dm’s to offer their support. The guy’s a narcissist like Vaknin, and they just raised his profile whilst giving him legitimacy.
In terms of your ethical question Mari. If it transpires that Vaknin has his YouTube platform shut down, then that has to be a positive thing. My question would be though, how did the victims move from making their allegations so as to have Vaknin removed from the project, to actually becoming the focus of the documentary and accompanying podcast? Vicente was liaising with them and he had his documentary to save post financial outlay. Grannon was liaising with them and he had a grudge against Vaknin. I find it difficult to believe that those victims were advised properly about all the possible outcomes. How will they all feel if Vaknin keeps his platform and continues on as before? How will they all feel twelve months from now when the PR disappears? What will their mental states be then?
The filmmakers kept the twist as a closely guarded secret, It’s unlikely that anyone qualified actually spent time with them to ascertain if they were emotionally strong enough to feature so prominently in the project and deal with its potential fallout. That’s what I take issue with. I’m sure Vicente promised them plenty of support, whether he follows up on that will be the mark of the man. I think having Vaknin cut from the documentary, pursuing a legal route and formerly approaching regulatory bodies would have been safer for the victims themselves.
I can understand that exposing him publicly via the documentary (which you have to pay $20 for a 48 hour rental) might prevent his abuse of additional victims but that is a possibility not a guarantee. There are new arrivals to the narcissistic abuse online space all the time. Vaknin will be re inventing himself and dismissing these allegations long after the publicity for the documentary and podcast has died down. I think if a victim wants to expose a narcissist and do permanent damage, the only failsafe way to do so is by taking formal legal action against them and involving the regulatory bodies they are associated with.
This reads as one of my favourite ever blog comments, in terms of accuracy, exhibition of applied learning, provision of amusement, self-awareness and righteous indignation. Bravo!
We are well taught here. Thank you HG.
Was that the ‘Royal We’ TS, or the wee-wee? Sorry, WE we? (Too much Vaknin and his Dirtyboy poo-poo-wee-wee paraphilias.)
Hi Mari,
See, you had to go there didn’t you?! Ewww.
(It was “We all”.)
One more thing: what really bothers me is if these women were Americans and in the USA, Sam would be sued for millions, his practice would be shut down and he would be jailed. The UK and many other countries would take action. The point is that is should not blow over. Those women deserve that level of protection as do others. Macedonia has applied to be a part of the EU. Maybe they should enforce their own laws and act like the EU.
Isla has more going on than you think…. I don’t think it will blow over and I plan on supporting her and them in every way I can.
Time will tell.
Could you answer a question, pretty please, HG?
Since you think of every person as an ‘appliance’, is TS a lieutenant for you?
Why do you ask?
Mr. Tudor,
WN’s comment about TS being a lieutenant, spurred a thought. I’ve always thought that any appliance, including those of us in “Blog World”, could act as a lieutenant.
I just assumed that if we helped you in any way to further your reach, like sharing a video or article, we were acting as a lieutenant. Is that correct?
I had considered we may be minions as well. But minions are strangers & I would think that not all of us meet the criteria of stranger.
Is it safe to say that any one of us can act as a lieutenant or minion?
The actions you described are those of a member of a coterie. It is correct however that a blog reader could potentially become a Lieutenant.
Now I’d like to ask a second question, if i may.
Why is it necessary for me to explain my thoughts before you are willing to answer a straightforward question?
My question was, “Is TS a lieutenant for you?”
A simple yes or no would have answered the question.
Why is it necessary for me to answer your question without seeking understanding of why you’re asking it?
Wisernow: I finally can breathe and will be in Europe on vacation soon. I have been researching and writing and calling people since I put my email out that I am on vacation… . Since SV is on YouTube, there are many USA organizations that you can call and report with international ties …. An American can do something … many advocacy groups too.
All it takes in one who takes interest with influence and it has a domino effect. You never know. I know one attorney who was formerly FBI in human trafficking- got a call into him too.
Truthseeker is right. It could blow over and that means more will be harmed. I just want to help them. This is not right.
I’ll tell you what my thoughts are right now if you like …
I’m thinking, “HG is being cagey and is reluctant to answer a straightforward question.”
“This means I’m probably threatening his control.”
“If I’m threatening HG’s control, it’s likely he is hiding something.”
Anywho …
Let’s not bicker, HG.
I’ll tell you why I asked my initial question.
In recent days, you mentioned that Lidija is SV’s lieutenant. After you said this, I relistened to your YT video ‘The Narcissist’s Lieutenant’ to better understand how the narcissist makes use of lieutenants.
Considering TS’s unwavering ‘loyalty’ and your uncharacteristic praise of her comment here, it occurred to me that TS is a lieutenant.
Not at all. You’re very easy to control.
TS is not a lieutenant. She is a long standing contributor who has a keen interest in narcissism and psychology for personal reasons and more so latterly out of intellectual curiosity. She offers interesting perspectives and questions. She has her own mind.
I wanted to know the rationale behind your question as you only raised it when I praised TS’ recent comment, which raised the possibility of envy on your part.
What the heck is going on? What did I miss???
Hi Contagious,
I think the word is slowly getting out.
There is a build-up now. Isla Traquair’s podcast has added to public awareness following the ‘I, Psychopath’ documentary when his fake credentials were exposed. It takes time for awareness to grow, given the 2009 documentary was made nearly twenty years ago.
Until there are charges made by law enforcement, it appears he can still have a media platform and keep operating, even though he is a fraud and predator.
I’ve had a look at Australia’s eSafety Commissioner, which is the Australian Government’s independent regulator for online safety, created to protect Australians from online harm. It covers things like scams, misinformation, deepfakes, coercive control, and basic online safety expectations (BOSE). These aspects focus on direct experiences, such as a person reporting a situation where they were personally targeted, etc.
The way the eSafety Commissioner operates sounds similar to the YouTube reporting system where a reporter is asked for specific examples of harm to themselves.
It seems to me that sharing Isla’s podcast on social media so that more people see and hear about it is the most informative way for the average person to spread the word about SV.
HG,
I thought your response to TS’s comment was manipulative.
Well of course it was, I’m a narcissistic psychopath, therefore I was using the truth in the pursuit of the Prime Aims and The NecessaryTriad as I’ve consistently explained. It was a benign manipulation using the truth of my reaction to TS’ comment.
I do not think you mean manipulative though.
Mr. Tudor,
I think most empaths here would enjoy the praise you gave TS for her detailed demonstration of your teaching being applied. It’s rare for you to praise something as a good question/comment.
I think I would be toasted by the heat and be all warm and gooey inside like a golden brown marshmallow.
I would feel many things…
Mr. Tudor,
If I may, even though TS & I have had a disagreement, I still know that its prudent to read her comments. It would be ignorant of me to not read them because I know she has a lot to offer.
I’m trying to clearly look at the evidence here and my goal is too learn.
Could wesay that there’s some triangulation going on here as well?
That is balanced of you Leigh.
Triangulation? By me? Yes, the use of TS’ message in a benign triangulation towards blog readers for the purposes of control and fuel, using the truth of TS’ message for efficacy.
Thank you, Mr. Tudor!
Hi Leigh,
Thank you for your comment here, it is appreciated.
I can see triangulation too. I can see a number of additional narcissistic manipulations as well.
Name them.
“The actions you described are those of a member of a coterie.”
Thw word coterie was escaping me.
Thank you.
Hello Wisernow:
When HG complements one of you bloggers, I always feel happy as I think how lucky am I to be with such smart women! It lifts me up to be associated as part of the blogging group! I love it when you guys offer an intelligent insight too, this is often YOU;)
Compliments.
Truthseeker,
I agree with HG: excellent comment!
“When Isla showed him her encounter with Vaknin, the best he could manage was, “ He’s angry, very angry, and shocked.” Bravo Sherlock, the insight is strong with this one. Any one of us here on the blog could have given a better explanation of how Vaknin was responding to having his control threatened in that way. Pathetic.”
This made me laugh out loud at work – again, I am in agreement.
I messaged HG after seeing RG’s “assessment” of SV’s reaction in hopes that he would provide his own take with the accuracy we have come to respect him for.
Hi 1WhoCares,
I’m glad I gave you a laugh, bonus that you were in work 🙂
I really hope HG takes you up on your suggestion. It would be interesting to read an accurate explanation of Vaknin’s response to that encounter.
Everyone watch Vasko Eftov, a political TV journalist at 10 pm tonight. Vasko is on board!!!!!!!
Vasko questions even SV citizenship in Macedonia. You can hit settings and have it dubbed in your language of choice!
Dear Leigh! So happy you signed it’s getting closer to 800 now. 1000 is supposed to give you 5 times more the chance of winning per change.org. I write various friends and family each day. I got over 10,000 views on my social media then looked 700 signatures. A lot is apathy.Even a few friends, I had to ask twice… “ Did you sign?” Sigh….
Not exactly rising quickly is it?
I think the wording is prolix, needs to be punchier.
Dear HG and others:
Sadly, it doesn’t matter really. YouTube has a terrible history of ignoring petitions. There are several petitions with over 100,000 signatures that they ignore.
Here is what gets their attention.
1. An advertiser complaint on content- won’t matter who or what it is- poof! Gone.
2. Lawsuits. A California teenage boy sued for mental distress. YouTube settled a couple months ago and took action. This is a hot topic as the UK is looking at legislation, Europe has and the USA to regulate social media to protect minors.
3. Media pressure and watch groups. Alex Jones had a huge following. Canceled … even before the Sandyhook families got billions in judgments against him. Isla’s bringing in of Dr. Graham Hill and getting Vasko locally is better than a petition. More to come. I highly recommend you watch Dr. Hill. I agree with him 100%.
Finally, SV is committing crimes and fraud. There is a lot of behind the scenes work and due to his exposure…. More victims or almost victims are coming forward.
I am optimistic. Still great to sign the petition:)
Also HG, you know Rome wasn’t built in a day:)
The leverage is the evidence of crimes committed. The problem as Dr. Hill said… jurisdiction. Sam does his illegal therapy in countries where he does his seminars not in Macedonia, he just grooms them from there. BUT I have told the group, you can file in the country where the crime occurred. So, if I go to Paris and I am attacked there by my ex, for example, I can report it in France. It is tough i live in California and he lives in another country but say he decides to visit Paris a year later…. Risky! Again that requires reporting. And if there was a Californian involved, I could help but so far it’s all Europe and Russia.
Sam wrote two days ago on his blog to a woman that he is a “ Professor of Psychology, and he has no license but by the way there is “ no such thing as a license.” WHAT? I have it in my files. SV is an idiot. No such thing as a psychology license? Madness. Narcissistic delusion.
And his professorship is bullshit too. SV has no degree, no masters, no university experience for the title “ Professor.”
I fake applied to CIAPs and got the facts direct. It’s a 3 month certificate program for psychology that Sam runs. It does not allow you to diagnose or treat patients in therapy sessions without a license. They offer certificates for retail jobs, cabin crew members, events and private eyes…. All jobs you don’t need a college degree for. I was shocked they didn’t have a certificate for dog grooming or janitorial services. This is the one and only school that gave Sam Vaknin the title “ Professor.” All the other UNIVERSITIES where he did free seminars wrote Isla in writing saying Sam Vaknin was not a visiting professor and never employed by them. The Harvard doctor did an interview in Ukraine denouncing SV’s claims he wanted him involved in PTSD treatment of Ukrainian women raped in the war. In fact this doctor said he rebuked him for lack of credentials. This leaves the book SV wrote in prison. It is not illegal for a school even a private unaccredited one like CIAPS in Cambridge to give out the title but it is misleading… especially when you have a man using it to practice psychology without a license and sexually assault, abuse and allegedly rape women.
CIAPs is making less than 500,000 and it has less than 10 employees and it is dormant. It began in 2023 in UK, Sam joined them same year. So it’s not a big money maker. The sole owner lives in Cambridge but is from Nigeria and is a writer for the Independent ( there’s the SV connection) the Daily Britain ( Farage piece 7/2026) and BBC. I think the school is a side hustle.???
There is a lot of behind the scene work and Vasko hasn’t done his expose… yet….
Tick tock.
Took nine days to burn down though.
Contagious,
“Isla’s bringing in of Dr. Graham Hill and getting Vasko locally is better than a petition. More to come. I highly recommend you watch Dr. Hill.”
Agreed. That podcast episode, with Graham Hill, was interesting.
However – the latest social media posts of Isla’s caused me to stop following her, in the interim. I can’t have half-naked pics of Vaknin floating around in my feed!!
Cannot. Will not.
Seeing Shitfinger in the buff is not good for sustenance retention.
Dear HG,
“Shitfinger in the buff” ?? NO, surely HG, you do have a limit to punishing people?! Have mercy! My mind’s eye has been tortured with the image! Please don’t bring up that image again….the horror…🤢🤮🤮xx
Haha! @HG & Rebecca.
“Seeing Shitfinger in the buff is not good for sustenance retention.”
To say the least!!!
It’s so wrong in so many ways.
Rebecca,
*My mind’s eye has been tortured with the image! Please don’t bring up that image again….the horror…🤢🤮🤮xx”
Agreed; retinal scarring!
1WhoCares,
Yes, retinol scarring 100% , almost need new eyes now! Xx
I am thrilled as Vasko Eric responded himself to my message of deep gratitude for his professionalism and work in protecting women worldwide from Sam Vaknin! Vasko is very influential in Macedonia! He is famous there! Isla rocks!
Join the effort. Sign the petitiion, Vasko know how women across the world appreciate his help and protection!
Vasko is an easy search on YouTube and social media. 10 pm tonight it airs!!!!!!!
Hello dear HG:
Before you correct my spelling again… it is partly my fault as I write fast and don’t always spell check but it’s the damn program that won’t recognize what I wrote and changes it. Anyway… I hope the message and news get out despite my misspellings. I will try harder! Got to raise that bar for me 😉
I was actually helping you in case you were labouring under a misunderstanding about the spelling of his name, since you’re keen to get people to know about what he’s done.
Keyboard drop! Excellent response, Truthseeker and thank you for taking the time and energy to do it. Brilliant and crystal clear.
Truthseeker,
I enjoyed reading your comment. I especially enjoy you mirroring Mr. Tudor’s scorn for the whiny MRN too terrified to climb stairs without a railing. (I heard Mr. Tudor say it first and the disdain just washed over me…whilst also amusing me as it’s rarely heard outside the James Cordon (a***hole) videos…and even there…the quality is different. With the a***hole, it’s more pure loathing than haughty and eyerolling disdain.) I find it interesting to hear Mr. Tudor that way. I rather want the explanation for choosing This One’s Wife over Cordon…even though that particular suggestion of mine got abbreviated in the This/That game with HG answering.
Hi Dani,
I suspect the source of my disdain is different than the source of HG’s disdain. For me, it stems from the way SV views and portrays himself, (replicated by his portrayal in the documentary) versus the reality of what he actually is.
Had the film makers portrayed him accurately as a garden variety Midranger, wholly governed by his narcissism, lacking true self awareness, pity playing, tantrumming and physically weak, they could have dealt him far more damage.
I agree with you, I think HG has a special kind of disdain for James Corden. Choosing this one’s wife might be as simple as extra fuel through sex. She is somatic after all. That was a great question, I loved This or That. A Christmas special might be fun?
Hello HG: I hear you and of course you are right. But you that doesn’t mean his in the mood ment behavior won’t end in death. He is a criminal who must be stopped. And then there is his sadistic tendencies around sex. Is SV a sexual sadist? If so, the risks go higher. And also for him. I know what I would do if he pulled that I me. I know what I did when dealing with a lesser. It’s not safe . It’s criminal and even a woman defending herself… there’s a risk for both and third parties.
Yes there is the collateral consequence that someone might kill themselves and if he knew about this then likely he’d believe he caused it giving him a sense of control and fuel in that moment on learning on that person’s death.
When he makes these statements the outcome is pursuit of the prime aims in that moment. I’m not diminishing the risk, I’m pointing out how his narcissism is working, in other words it’s more about the bark than the bite.
Hi TS,
Your scorn does have different driver for sure. Hearing SV couldn’t use the stairs story, relayed by the Ultra revealed my gut impression was accurate…he’s “one sad strange little man.”
Regarding Corden…there’s also thought fuel regarding imagining Corden’s face when he’s not picked. My question now is…does location matter? “Lost” at sea and surrounded by sharks with Corden or a boat with TOW in the heart of the Everglades surrounded by gators…
A live Christmas This/That special with HG answering…that’s a wonderful idea. I miss having lives.
Dani,
I think it’s fair to assume both Corden and TOW would be going overboard. HG can go without fuel for quite a while and both characters irritate him.
So really, it’s down to method of death. Sharks pull their prey under the water. Gators roll with their victims on top of the water. From a stimulation perspective, I would have to go gator, which means TOW in the Everglades. You’ll have to ask during the Christmas This or That!
Hi TS,
It depends on which shark species it is. An oceanic whitetip is probable in my scenario. They do drown people…however, a tiger shark, great white or bull shark aren’t impossible. And they may use the bump and bite technique. Or breaching…
https://tenor.com/view/sharks-ocean-slomo-hungry-jump-gif-3390622 (rare).
Hi Dani,
I didn’t know that about sharks! You say shark to me and I think of the great white in Jaws ( music playing and everything.)
Which gives me an idea. First there is ‘Christmas This and That’ then there is ‘Christmas I Say You Say.’ (Word association game, no pausing or hesitation.)
I say “Let’s Do It!”
You say?
I say, “Heck yeah!” TS.
Haha! We’ll have a whole Christmas program worked out soon.
Side by side, paper hats on, Slade playing on repeat, draped in tinsel. 😂
Hi TS and Dani,
Where is the party? Where can I sign up? And, is HG coming too?? Xx
Dear HG,
When are you having a party with all of us Tudorites?? Xx
Hi Rebecca,
Hurrah! Your name is on the list.
It’s at The Mount Without in Bristol UK. (www.themountwithout.co.uk)
We have provisionally booked The Devout to play.
Empaths only. There will be bouncers on the door with Alsatians to verify all entrants are empaths. If the dogs bark or growl, no entry, decision of the management (Dani) is final.
I put word out for a mixologist and we’re hoping Allison will manage entry to the ‘All Christmases at Once’ Crypt later on.
We are taking suggestions as to dress code. (We know there will be hats and tinsel though.)
I don’t know about HG, I’m not sure if he’d want to come along.
Xx
Surely every Christmas party requires its Santa?
Rebecca,
What kind of party could we have without Mr. Tudor?
Hi Dani,
I wouldn’t want to find out, a party without HG isn’t much of a party! 😄xx
Hi TS,
You mentioned killing methods of the shark and the gator, what about the orca?? They are far more intelligent and have more fun with their prey. It is a bit graphic and disturbing, but an orca with a seal, looks a lot like a narcissistic psychopath with their victim…you don’t know which technique they are going to use on the next victim. Xx
TS,
If the party is for empaths only, how will HG get in??? 😱🥺😫xx
As if that’s going to stop me.
Dear HG,
If you are going to be the Santa for the event, I am afraid the line will be very long to sit on your lap and I am sure what everyone will be wishing for from you. 😄😄xx
Hi TS,
Thanks for the link, I checked it out and just in case this really goes down, I signed up for their email. Xx
There is an event place in Pennsylvania that is a resturant and catacombs too. They have tables down there too. I have sent the videos to HG a few times. Xx
Dear HG,
I am sure nothing would stop you, even if you’d have to wear a maiden outfit and do one of your female voice impression, no one would catch on to your disguise….my, what a big rack you have! 😄😄xx
“Surely every Christmas party requires its Santa.”
Indeed it does HG.
(Dani, Rebecca? I think we’re on.)
Rebecca,
Orcas can be violent with food, when teaching their young to hunt. However, there are no recorded orca kills from human attacks in the wild. Wild orca on human attacks (extremely rare) are mistaken identification of a surfer as a seal. Wild orcas have caused property destruction, reason believed to be play. Even when yachts are sunk, humans in life jackets are left alone.
In captivity, orcas have attacked multiple times (many kept quiet) and killed 4 times. Tilikum (captured young in the wild) killed three of four, one marine biology student at a Canadian sea park, and at Sea World in Orlando, one idiot who thought jumping in the tank after the park closed was a good idea, and one experienced orca trainer. Keto, at a sea park he was sold to in Spain, killed a trainer as well.
Generally, enormous psychological strain from captivity is believed to be the cause of the attacks. There are many factors that produce the psychological distress in captive orcas. But wild orcas far out at sea are have no recorded attacks that I know of as opposed to American alligators (less than 10 yearly reports) or sharks (approx. 100 attacks yearly). Both attack types are rare. The Nile Crocodile is statistically more dangerous if we’re talking number of yearly attacks (several hundred reported yearly) and fatalities resulting from attacks (more than half).
I love animals so much.
Mr. Tudor,
If you are Santa at our party… I hope we can rely on you to judge of our Christmas Bake Off…cookies, cakes, etc. will be baked on site whilst you listen to Christmas wishes…
Now…as to this empath only restriction, we could let you pass…you are no balrog and I am not Gandalf… or we could provide a series of Kevin McAllister style challenges to keep you stimulated…it is a Christmas Party…
I’m not judging any baking competition.
I will engage in Home Alone related activity.
Hi Dani,
I know orcas only kill humans while they are being abused in captivity, I was writing about their ability to play with their prey in the wild, no other marine animal plays like the orca plays with their prey. They are very intelligent animals, too intelligent to be stuck in a tank, forced to perform for people. They don’t attack people in the wild because their mothers show them their prey to hunt and that doesn’t include people, for which I am thankful for that. The grandmother usually runs the whole family unit too, and the male calf stays with its mother his whole life, only leaving to breed and come back to her. They are very family orientened animal and form solid bonds. I have a lot of respect for them and their freedom. Xx
HG, TS, and Dani,
I am all for the party!! Let’s do this!! Xx
Dear HG,
“HOME ALONE ACTIVITIES” ?? XX
OH, can I bring some dish soap, some shaving cream, bricks, hammer and some rope?? Who are we beating up at this party? Xx
I was thinking more along the lines of having the place to myself.
Dear HG,
All by yourself, HG? Oh, c’mon….that isn’t as much fun…..c’mon, and play with us, HG….pleaseeeeee?Xx
I’m so excited (and mildly concerned) about Mr. Tudor participating in Home Alone activities! I’m iffy about the flamethrower…but if it puts a twinkle in the eye of Santa…
I do hope mistletoe be an acceptable decoration? I think it would be very popular with the empaths…
Dear HG and Dani,
Blowtorches and mistletoe?? Sounds like a fun party! Count me in! Xx 😄😄
Regarding “having the place to yourself,” sir…I was hoping you would come for the fuel (all that yummy empath attention directed at you) and residual benefits (presents, free food) and stay for stimulation and to exert control over us…
I’m just disappointed no one asked me the names of the two alsatians….
TS,
what are the names of the alsatians?
Dani, Rebecca,
I enjoyed reading about the orca. Not to be trifled with in captivity but incredibly loyal in the wild. I like that.
I’m thinking I might need to review security, I hadn’t considered the flame thrower!
Hi TS,
Flame throwers and mistletoe…what could go wrong? We have to have a fire display for HG, hope the Christmas trees don’t get too close! 😱🫣xx
Hi Dani,
Funny you should ask that!
On the left side, “ Narc.” On the right side “Detector.”
Trained police dogs and both began their working lives as sniffer dogs in Heathrow airport.
(Sleepy steaks are off the menu.)
Hi Rebecca,
Fire might be a hazard given the beard. However, I’ll see what I can do. Safety first!
TS,
Noooo, no flames near the beard! 😱🫣Oh, that would go very bad for all involved! 😬🥵 We have to make sure Santa HG doesn’t feel the flames, just enjoys them from a safe distance…and there will be no yeeting minions in the fire display this year, maybe for next year when we have more insurance coverage?! What do you think, TS? HG? 😄🤪xx
TS: Totally agree except I think some have and my question is what’s up with Macedonia’s regulatory board. So far for me to date is there is a strong case he is practicing therapy without a license and harming others with his unethical unorthodox disgusting behavior.
And the 3 police reports? It appears Russia does little about rape. But I have not seen or heard any evidence and if active, I won’t.
I said the same thing, Isla and a third party can only do so much. Formal legal action by a direct victim is required with police, the EU and possibly even regulatory bodies. Then there are civil lawsuits, I know what an American would do. But Macedonia isn’t part of the 2029 Hague judgments so if his assets are there, no collection enforcement for an outside of the country judgment unless there is a treaty of sorts so don’t know.
Where I personally disagree is I think he has a compulsion for sexual sadism and his desire for his victims to be destroyed or die by suicide seems a common theme and – SV has spoken of it. Sam may not have the ability to swing a blade but he has the ability to severely harm someone. What if one future woma dies takes her own life? We have seen that happen through psychological abuse. And I have been told of rapes, I have seen or heard no evidence. What if he has physically raped women over time. I guess we wait until he gets arrested?
My concern is you are right. My greater concern is that Sam continues on until someone gets seriously harmed.
At minimum Macedonia needs to come down on him for his therapy and prohibit his “ cold therapy” that’s my hope.
Time will tell.
Hello TS: do you think this would blow over if he did the same in the UK or USA. I mean any one of the victims if American could sue him for millions just on what I have seen and heard. I knew a person who was reported to the American Board and he lost his license and went to jail for sleeping with his client.
Again like the TAte brothers, they set up shop in Romania but it’s the US who has locked him up and the UK that will put him in jail.
I don’t think Sam’s move to Macedonia was an innocent choice. I think he selects victims and engages in criminal tortious acts by country perhaps too. Slick. I don’t know Macedonia but it is very disappointing they have not stepped in….. yet.
This might not blow over either. There is action, there is movement. I remain hopeful .
But Sam being a hapless upper mid ranger cerebral ( my guess) is right but I do believe he also portrays this with his fake tears. I think he has a sick compulsion to harm – maybe it’s psychopathic traits, definitely a sexual sadism going on and I think he has legal assistance. I do. I don’t think he just decided “hey let’s move to Macedonia. “He has told many women he hates it there. There is more to the story on that…. Time will tell.
Oh and he is really GROSS. He actually goes to peoples homes and pees, doesn’t go to their toilette. I think it’s passive aggressive but he is so gross in so many ways … just a filthy dirty man.
What’s your thoughts on this. Love to hear!
Hi Contagious,
In response to your question about this blowing over in the UK, I don’t know. It’s a situation I haven’t been in and I don’t know anyone who has. I suppose the best example would be Russel Brand, but he is higher profile, of greater public interest, the case made national newspapers etc. it’s notable he is still interviewed and still has his platform.
There are many elements that don’t sit well with me as regards the film and podcast. I’m not a fan of trial by social media I prefer to see evidence and hear from both sides, and I believe in the concept of innocent until proven guilty. From what I’ve heard on the podcast, I think it is clear that Vaknin has falsified his credentials, made false claims about being a counsellor and on the back of that has abused his position. I’m comfortable up to that point.
If what these women claim is the truth and whole truth then there are things I don’t understand about Vaknin’s narcissism, fuel matrix and how the narcissistic dynamic has operated in this case. An example would be the level of abuse the women claim to have sustained as IPSS’s. As IPSS the victim is subject to a prolonged golden period, the shelving dynamic and corrective devaluations, “a slap on the wrist”. If they can’t be brought under control then the narcissist might shelve for a more prolonged period, issue additional corrective devaluations and ultimately disengage. The devaluation some of the women describe is devaluation we might expect an IPPS to experience, not an IPSS.
Sex does not appear to be used in seduction but is a prominent part of devaluation. In terms of cadre I would previously have thought cerebral, but now would have to consider elite. For an elite I think the way the sex is utilised ( mostly in devaluation) is unusual. Again, this is likely a knowledge gap.
I agree with you that some of the abuse described is not only misogynistic in the extreme but also sadistic. I associated a sadistic streak more with Greater than Mid Range and he is clearly neither a psychopath or Greater. He is in my view sadistic. ( the mini bar bottle, faeces smearing, swastika). Midrangers can have a sadistic streak I think, but it’s less common.
So there are inconsistencies that I don’t understand / can’t place. These, together with the victim management ( Grannon and Vicente) how the allegations came to light, the reluctance of law enforcement to become involved, the group element of the allegations, the unique nature of the narcissistic online environment (a higher than average percentage of Mid Range ‘victims’) leaves large gaps in my understanding of what has actually taken place. I wholeheartedly believe Vaknin has exploited his ‘position’ I just am unsure as to the extent.
I agree with you, something you have stated repeatedly, use the law.
Truthseeker:
You have a legal mind. Would have been a great judge! Not that it might interest you. Your positions are so logical and thought out.
It stops with he is a fraud about his credentials. He is holding himself out as a therapist! Engaging in illegal unorthodox, sadistic unethical practices. Where does he get his victims YOUTUBE? So it is international his crimes. Russel Brand, Andrew Tate, it’s the UK bringing justice. Alex Jones got shut down by YouTube? Why the victims all together win 2 billion. Don’t tell me Google wasn’t nervous…. SV is small pototaes compared to them until someone dies or until he victimizes a Brit or American or someone from a country that stands behind these women unlike Russia who did not etc…Macedonia is a question. Isla might give them the pressure and exposure to make a change. Without YouTube SV cannot harm others so readily. He could squawk on but he has this expensive therapy. One women paid 1/2 million euros for it to be abused and sexually assaulted . Let SV sell his books and drone in but his therapy is illegal unorthodox unethical and harms women. Someone with influence has the ability to shut it down! I will help and believe it’s possible . Without cold therapy you don’t have fraud, rape or abuse. Or financial fraud. His gimmick is his “ therapy”. It is an obvious fraud. The problem appears to be he is based in Macedonia and I thin he is not some dumb loser but slick. I think he knows the psychologists on the board that regulates them. Only exposure or pressure on this board will change things as there is enough evidence for all to see that this is a proper outcome.
Who will cause the dominos to fall? It takes only one with influence. I wrote the minister of foreign affairs, and he responded briefly but I bet he didn’t read what I wrote, YouTube doesn’t care about my reports etc… I don’t have influence. I am a “ nobody.” The key is to find someone who does. Isla is on it. But I don’t mind trying. You never know. The one thing that gives me pause is Sam is what 64? He has ED. He should slow down physically but that leaves the immense psychological damage he does telling women as this BIG therapist on YouTube, set forth in the Independent etc… that they are very very sick and getting them to rely on him. This is why it’s jail time in the USA to practice psychology without a license. Sam plays doctor to patients, he is not playing a life coach. Bid difference. SV tells women they have BPD then treats them by inflicting psychological damage and sexual abuse. Therapists aren’t supposed to tiuch their patients let alone have sex with them. Lawyers due to their fiduciary role can’t sleep with their clients. I have had many who tried. One said to me: how would they know. My response : it doesn’t matter. I won’t put my career in this risk. No, no and no.
Countless doctors, etc… who sleep with their patients go to jail in the USA
It disgusts me that these women all over… Russia, Europe and even elsewhere aren’t getting protection.
And Sam is slick: choose to live in Macedonia. Carefully selects his “ patients.” None are UK citizens. None are Americans. I don’t think that’s a coincidence. And I think he has legal counsel. Isla does not. But I smell a lawyer in his “ response.” And his choices.
Anyone who wants to help, Isla has suggestions. He is on YouTube. It’s international. There are international groups and ties that if they get involved could end his fraud. Time will tell!
One other point:
I just look at the evidence apply it to the elements of a crime, think of solutions. But: I skipped over what you said and the point of this blog? What is he? Well, upper mid range is my guess with psychopathic traits. But I think he has paraphalia. HG doesn’t address oedophiles. It starts in adolescence and it is described as a compulsion. Many recognize this and get help to deal with it and don’t act on their impulses. Many do and it’s a billion dollar enterprise pumped up by the internet which makes it run better such as the dark web. We know this but the serial nature of his sexual sadism aside from the fraud and his desire to kill albeit by psychologically destroying them through misdiagnosis and control and abuse physical or not reminds me of the serial rapists and even killers. All discuss this compulsion they have. It’s different from I want money therefore I will lie, steal and kill to get it. Risky goal oriented accumulation style of a psychopath. There’s no remorse either. But it’s a compulsion like acholhol for an alcoholic, or drug addiction for a drug addict or pedophilia for a oedophile…it’s something they are compiled to do over any risk or whether they are aware it’s wrong. They know it’s wrong. Many sexual sadists start in presidency and they love porn. Click. Click. Per Isla. I learned about this compulsion from an FBI profiler on a case long ago involving a serial rapist who over timed killed and was convicted with a death penalty. I am not sophisticated enough to know if I am right. It’s a feeling. Isla is going to have a real profiler on her expose. I can’t wait! I told Isla HG is a natural profiler of course we would all love a tudorscooe on Sam. I just think your logical mind not being able to exactly place him is that there is an underlying commodity at play. I call it a compulsion. And I think it’s been going on decades and won’t stop maybe until he is very old. The oldest serial killer ever started at 61, he raped and killed in the USA. I wish I had the training to pinpoint it but I just instinctively know there is an underbelly to SV . Don’t have a label or a term and it is added on to narcissism. SV is a fraud. Been one since he was selling his Mind reading bullshit at 20. His gimmick is the same since 20. SV has exposed enough evidence that would put him away fir fraud… but why? What has SV done in Macedonia that he is still at large? That’s the question and the answer who has the ability to get around that and stop him? It takes just ONE for the dominos to fall…
One last thing. Isla is invested. Grannon has his reasons. But MV? He is a filmmaker. Yeah maybe invested for that cult because he was a member. But don’t be surprised if he doesn’t get a deal, he moves on. Lawyers care about their cases but when it ends, they move on. Etc… Fior MV this is a business not ja charity. Does he care? He does but MV won’t be around for long. His attention will turn to the next film.
Grannon I don’t know.
Branson is motivated by the Prime Aims. His involvement allows him to appear as victim saviour (control, fuel, character traits and residual benefits through facade management) and attacking Vaknin (control, fuel). It also provides him with a platform where he can cry. Again.
Here’s a question: in the dark knight Michael Caine says some men you can’t control. Some men don’t want anything. They just want to see the world burn. Sounds like psychopathy right? But psychopaths want a goal right, sex, money, power? Sam says he has nothing but contempt for the world and said on tape the world could do better without 60% of it ( I don’t recall the exact percent). He goes into peoples homes and oisses inside them without using a toilet. No information this is anything but random not intended. The secret lies in the small stuff. At 20 when on Israel tots peddling his mind reading and time travel business he made a joke about a woman’s hole. It made the interviewer uncomfortable. Most who watch would not see this small joke as anything. But to me it was not in topic, it was not provoked and it got raised by Sam. It was forefront in his mind. He has contempt for women especially and admittedly he has contempt for the world. This is why he pisses as a guest in a home. Like an untrained dog marking his terroritory. Maybe I am wrong and that’s it. But it is weird. Tells us something. What?
Pissing on the floor in somebody’s home is a form of control and draws Thought Fuel, it’s also indicative of an individual who lacks the capability to impact the world. It’s akin to those narcissists who believe in conspiracy theories as I’ve explained before.
So here is my real question… yes SV is a fraud who took their money… not the German… but per SV the ultimate goal the most beautiful pleasure is if they kill themselves. There is evidence he came close. At least one sent him a suicide note. If true…. If that is his honest goal… why? To eliminate a witness to keep his therapy fraud for money scheme going… or….because he is God and wants to play life and death…. Or because he hates people, hates humanity and would take pleasure in eliminating people especially women one by one to burn the whole fucking world.
Hello HG? What kind of man wants the world to burn who hates others very existence especially women deep down inside… a sadist?
A narc, asap fraud? Deep inside motive? Satan … oops a sadist?
I see layers under layers.
You’re forgetting about the “in the moment” nature of a Mid Range narcissist.
“The Ultimate goal is the most beautiful pleasure is they kill themselves” says the pantomime villain. This provokes disgust, outrage and some in the listener thus providing control and fuel IN THAT MOMENT.
It does not mean the suicidal will ever happen and even if it does the narcissist may not even know about it but what he does know is the effect of talking about someone killing IN THAT MOMENT.
Like many things about the narcissist saying gets the prime aims far easier than doing.
Hi Contagious,
I’m not sure I have a legal mind, I have a mind that takes off in all directions and looks a bit like a plasma globe.
I agree, the fraudulent credentials are likely the king pin. That’s immediately provable and removing those credentials limits his reach but also damages his online facade. I think Isla is right to go for this weak spot.
The irony. YouTube are happy to close down numerous channels incorrectly under the guise of repetitive content, but are less likely to respond to complaint of fraudulent presentation. Complaints will arrive at AI’s door and AI will likely spew out its standard response. I agree, de platforming him would cause damage to his income stream, reputation and reach.
Interestingly, he posted a few days ago about his verified YouTube check mark.
He’s broadcasting.” Look at me! See how many views and subscribers I have and how successful I am on YouTube!” He controls his audience, gets fuel from the positive comments under his post. Prime Aims achieved, mission accomplished.
Isla might see this post and potentially assume that Vaknin is taunting her. I don’t think he is. I think he is simply broadcasting as a route to the Prime Aims.
The problem he has again though is that through his broadcasting, Isla then sees the post as a taunt and potentially doubles her efforts to de platform him from YouTube.
Hopefully he’ll eventually fall prey to “give them enough rope.” He’s in his current position largely due to collateral consequences as it is. I think understanding exactly what he is, helps predict what he is likely to do, that’s valuable information.
He’ll be tough to de platform. Copyright strikes would stall him. YouTube seem to be hot on that. He has Islas interview up, I wonder if that’s a route?
I agree also that it takes someone with influence in the relevant region. Ann managed to get him in to lecture at a Russian university. I wonder if her influence extends to anyone on regulatory boards?
Hey Truthseeker and my fellow bloggers!
Episode 21: Clare stated that she wasn’t hopeful about the film getting any wider release. She said Islas validation and support has done more. Clare also thinks SV is dangerous and only jail will stop him. Nothing else. Clare almost committed suicide because of SV but couldn’t bring herself to do it although she wanted to do it desperately.
HG says he is more bark than bite and acts in the moment but HG does not diminish the risks of collateral damage. It’s those risks that bother me. HG says SV would be elevated if he did cause suicide. As discussed below, I suspect he has and continues to try and coming close recently as we have all heard ….with great chances of future trophies all the while “ hiding in plain sight” as he says repeatedly grinning ear to ear at all of us from the worldwide net!
My issue is this particular sick dog wears a collar with the name tag on it “ therapist” and uses that to hunt his prey with the hope he can damage them to the point of suicide.
What astounds me is that SV is permitted to use YouTube to do this. It reminds me of the economic loss rule where a builder can build a structurally unsound building but you can’t sue him for negligence ( in California) unless it falls down and kills someone or damages property. Of course there are other theories to rely upon . The California Supreme Court actually said to go to the legislature if you want the law changed .
There have been lawsuits and jail sentences in the USA and no doubt elsewhere where cyber bullying that involves pushing someone to suicide has harsh consequences . But I feel like a bystander watching someone drown hoping help arrives so they live …. No doubt many feel the same.
What nags me is would anyone know if someone committed suicide by being a “ patient” of Sam’s who was subjected to gross disgusting humiliating sadistic forms of abuse for his sick thrills? Would it surprise anyone here to learn that he caused a death or two or three or more? How would ANYONE know? Isla doesn’t have access to his patient files to trace back which ones are still around, When SV speaks of “the “ultimate beauty in causing someone to take their own life, “ was this something he has actually already experienced? SV is said to speak on YouTube about real life events . I have no doubt his M.O. has been going on since he hit puberty.
He lies about his credentials per Clare, she knows he has NONE.
He diagnoses vulnerable women some as young as 20 with serious mental health conditions that he promises to help. SV comes off very knowledgeable. An expert on mental health beyond Cluster B. SB says the Ukraine government asked him to treat PTSD for war crime victims of rape ( omg can you imagine if this happened?)
He is popular on YouTube and makes good money on his expensive cold therapy. His cold therapy methods include “verbally re-enacting incest and rape . “ Pause. Imagine struggling with PTSD or harm from one of those experiences….plus how do we know that he hasn’t pushed it farther? We don’t know. Worse. We don’t know if any criminal investigation is really occurring ( beyond a file opened) or ever has occurred.
Some people find God in prison, Sam found narcissism and got out and set up narcissist support groups. Prisoner rehabilitation? Did SV fantasize a lot in prison about what he really missed and develop an idea to get it? It just doesn’t seem like a sure thing money wise. Back then. SV could have developed a better get rich quick scheme in jail then free health support groups …. So why did he hurry to set up initially free support groups for vulnerable women right after prison? What motivated him? Hmmmmm
SV takes his time with some of his patients….gaining more and more trust and reliance from his patients. He sleeps with them. Some don’t want to do it but they have become so close due to the doctor- patient relationship and their fear of losing him in part as they want to be cured from the original pain. Great hook. Better than “ what’s your sign” ? Right? In fact he tells them they need him and only him. He told Anna not to trust other doctors. ( not that the con artist is a doctor) Of course he isolates them …what narc doesn’t …but it is alarming – the fact that he is “ treating” their mental health. Very dangerous con.
Then the sex comes for some and he takes women who have experienced rape, incest or have mental health issues and he gets sadistic …rubbing shit in their faces, pissing and shitting on them, sexually assaulting them, putting objects inside them, writing swasticas on their bodies
….anyone hear of the word re-traumatize? I mean we put warnings on Netflix “ viewer discretion….” to avoid someone committing suicide watching a movie or series that could re-traumatize them!!!’ Two have been in therapy for three years to heal. Both were suicidal. Pause . Both became Suicidal due to SV. One sent SV a suicide note. Take a guess what SV did? No, he didn’t call a suicide hotline or call the police or medics to make sure she was safe…. Guess again?. These are two that we know about! The dead don’t do podcasts.
So are there dead women littering his past we have not heard about as clever Sam ONLY picks mentally vulnerable women. SV says he doesn’t just choose vulnerable women who want to heal…. Nooooooo he wants “that vulnerable woman who wants to destroy herself. “ Dr. Death wants to provide assisted suicide and is careful in his selection process. SV says “he can tell the difference. “
Anyone confident that every patient of Sam’s survived him? I mean if I was a killer -what a great gimmick? playing doctor / God to vulnerable women with the goal of pushing them to suicide? I mean how hard does he have to push ( or should I say pushed?) “Hey wasn’t my fault she was suicidal when I met her, I tried to help…” then throw in some play acting crying while whistling Dixie out of the police station…. Oh wait! We are in Macedonia and the friends and family knew she was troubled, she saw a doctor. (SV) Guess she didn’t make it, sigh. Funeral time. Loss. Grief. I doubt a single one thought “ oh yeah, let’s go to the police, her therapist did it!”
And SV loves to say “ I can’t believe it myself! I can’t believe I have got away with it! If only people knew who I really was and what I have done! It is incredible!” Fellow bloggers: sounds like a confession to me… what if women have died by suicide because of him! He is literally laughing at the world. Well he giggles like a little girl actually. Part of the gosh, gee whiz bullshit he projects to the world.
Throw in SV chose Macedonia. All the places in the world to set up his cold therapy practice, he chose Macedonia and per Isla and others rarely leaves. His CEPS degree is in Nigeria. Another silly choice. ? Hmmm SV says he doesn’t pay taxes and I think his foundations are tax shelters. SV knows his ways around financial institutions. Money laundering, payments in cash, switching banks, tax evasion, tax shelters.., SV knows all the fine ways that criminals get rich.
Also SV with his “ gosh, shucks, silly me” persona and blubbering and UMR act “ I am a good guy…” .coupled with his mostly plagiarized Otto Kernberg knowledge….SV has FIRMLY embedded himself in the Macedonian psychology community and REGULATORS. Not a bad facade if your true goal is to kill women via suicide. SV is quite the networker within a community that unknowingly assists him in achieving his goal… SV puts them on the internet, makes them money on his seminars and is it any wonder that the Macedonian psychology board won’t return Isla’s calls???? Think there are any gifts from SV to its members? Any regulators in Macedonia not on a first name basis with SV? Some of his victims have reported SV to the board. Nothing. Crickets. Was this move calculated or is it a lucky coincidence? SV just happens to live in a country with the psychology board in his back pocket? Or is the board just very slow and careful and in time…. Action will be taken?
And what about his stories of his friendship with the former head of Macedonia now in Hungary. Hmmm SV is a convicted financial fraud, is it past him to wiggle some money in that direction? Is Macedonia’s known to have government corruption i.e. do large government contracts go to elected officials close family and friends there? I don’t know. I truly know nothing about Macedonia but I wrote a prominent official. I heard back: an automated response given to all members of the public. At least it was in English.
If SV has caused suicide: what a perfect set up? Is silly Sam just lucky? Or is it all carefully orchestrated. Financial fraud takes planning, strategy and follow through. Is he just sloppy with his new con? With Grannon? With the loose ends ? With this movie? And come on! Mark Viciente? After his experience with I Psycho? !!! Is SV a genius without any common sense or was he a genius for an intellectually challenged child? Or does he think he set it all up perfectly? The perfect crime… and no one can touch him?
All I know is that this “ man child” is playing doctor with a sharp knife… and he is playing with those who aren’t in their right mind during the “ game.”
I hate being a bystander watching this unfold and not knowing who he has treated before and if those poor women are all still breathing. It’s a Vincent Price film for me.
I hit a brick wall as all the watch groups I called and the former FBI sexual trafficker agent now private attorney ( he got a 21 million judgment against pornhub)… want to know if any victim is “American.” Nope. Guess no Americans have money to pay for cold therapy….. Hmmmm another random act of chance? There is not much the USA government agencies will do if no Americans if anything…. I was told “ Jurisdictional.” He said there are many similar groups and remedies in Europe – very good . This swings back to reporting.
I looked up YouTube’s counsel. One is in Palo Alto, the other in UK. I would not try as I don’t have any representative capacity to do so. Reaching them is like breaking into Fort Knox. But if I knew someone who knew someone …. 2 people who could end it all……it’s frustrating…
Isla is doing all she can to move mountains for the group and the guaranteed future victims. If anyone can do it, she can. Isla has a team behind her too. And momentum… it helps. Join her petition please. I hope this long blog inspires….Isla is inspiring.
I still sense a compulsion in SV. It’s more than a narcissists compulsion for fuel. Sam smiles a little too much, talks too much, laughs like a hyena and blubbers like a baby with all his phobias that he readily shares… gosh golly gee whiz. I don’t buy the act anymore than I did his 20 year old time travel mind reading abilities when he didn’t crack a smile and came off as a deadpan mortician. I think that’s the real Sam. But there is something deep deep deep within him beneath this giggly arrogant “ doctor:professor “good guy” public persona and it needs to be removed from society. It’s very ugly, dangerous and pure evil.
And unless and until a thorough criminal investigation is done and all of his computers, patient files, interviews with his past patients or sadly their family, friends, hospitals, morgues is completed which golly gee just happens to be spread across many countries and just happens to occur mostly in those countries with weak judicial and police enforcement of crimes against women such as DV and rape, just another coincidence? … no one knows if SV has a collection of autopsy reports ruled “ suicide” as trophies in a do not delete file.
My two cents but it is not without logic.
Sam is the emperor with no clothes.
I hope Isla is the child in the crowd.
I look forward to the forensic experts take. Coming soon , some woman named Laura …
You know, we talk about narcs, psychopaths, crimes, we discuss trials and verdicts,,,, but can you imagine if I am right? We sit here as bystanders and Sam is out there in real time in real life living out his dream ….
In plain sight
In plain sight
In plain sight
Hi Contagious,
I can understand your passion as regards the Vaknin allegations. I also see the problems with the victims being spread across locations and the issues that will cause in terms of law enforcement. I do think victims need to communicate with law enforcement though. That way there is an evidence those complaints were made.
I think highlighting and reporting the lack of therapist and academic credentials is the way to lessen Vaknin’s reach for future victims. It needs to be done country by country in a systematic manner.
I don’t think Vaknin sets out to drive his victims to suicide. We know that what a narcissist says and what a narcissist does are two very different things. Words are cheap. Narcissists want secondary sources alive in their fuel matrix. I believe that narcissistic abuse can lead to suicide though. I don’t believe Vaknin is talking about himself in all of his videos either. He doesn’t have the self awareness.
The problem with this for me is the level of misunderstanding that is evident in the podcast. Isla is doing a great job but she doesn’t understand narcissism. She is being advised by people who don’t understand narcissism. The alleged victims are drawing conclusions (as we all did) that are logical from their perspective but wrong from a narcissistic perspective.
They need to stay off Instagram in my view. The I Psychopath guy was making incorrect observations. They put Lidija up on Instagram yesterday. They have no idea if Lidija herself is a victim. Ann now has her own account and is provoking Vaknin thus giving him fuel. Isla is doing the same. As this progresses it will look less like a professional investigation and more like mud slinging. This works only to Vaknin’s advantage in my view. Vaknin can show up in comments sections, provoke and get more fuel. His coterie are already showing up. Vaknin will continue to have his control threatened and social media is an easy hoover. Use social media to promote the podcast, but the comments section is not helping the situation in my view. Reach out to other journalists and those with influence privately. It begins to look like another social media pile on otherwise and that doesn’t help when dealing with decision makers. We know how this happens with social media and how narcs use it to advantage. Personally I wouldn’t engage him on Instagram at all.
I don’t know what Lidija is, but she isn’t automatically a co conspirator. It’s this kind of approach which undermines Isla’s investigative work, which is a shame. Spending too much time on “what if’s” is totally understandable but won’t achieve the objective.
I would imagine that YouTube must have some form of duty of care to its customers. If legal channels are complicated, pursuing YouTube might be an effective option. I’m afraid I don’t have any expertise in that area at all.
Sound observations.
I should sum it up. SV ‘s continuous and past crimes practicing therapy without an education and a license and engaging in sex and abuse with patients that are suicidal is dangerous.
I lost two close friends to suicide. One a doctor. One a film maker. Both men were loved with wives and children. It is a serious condition. And it doesn’t take much to push someone over the edge in that state of mind.
As to Lidje. I don’t know her at all. She just reminds me of women who write men in jail in that she knows SV is a criminal or acts in unethical ways, she listens to his sessions! And I think she feels she is the only one who truly understands Sam and feels needed. So not the same but that’s what I sense. Definite Co-D.
Also I have spoken highly of HG’s abilities. I hope Isla and HG connect. HG would be invaluable to her understanding.
Sam withdrew from the upcoming seminar. As posted, a major political journalist Vasko Eskov is from Macedonia is covering SV today at 10 . A petition is out on change.org. Women who sought his services are contacting Isla and changing their minds. A former Scotland Yard member is discussing how serious Sam is today.
You can help. Sign the petition. Write Vasko Eftov and tell him how grateful you are to protect women worldwide from Sam Vatnim. Vasko is asking whether SV has citizenship to be there. New discovery?
Suicide is final. No person in this state of mind should be paying criminal Vatnin for help. The finality should be Sam Vatnin’s illegal, unorthodox and unethical practice.
Not all narcs commit crimes . SV does.
If people want to learn about narcissism, they can join HG.
SV should not be allowed to participate due to his criminal conduct.
His surname is Vaknin.
Thank you HG.
Hi Contagious
“ I lost two close friends to suicide.” That’s very sad to hear, friends and family often are unaware of the state of mind of their loved ones until it’s too late. It leaves so many unanswered questions for those left behind.
I think digging into how Sam got his Macedonia visa is a strong move. Usually visas are given for studying, via work sponsorship, or family connection. I doubt he has family there. If his visa was based solely on his ‘visiting professorship’ at South Eastern European University, then if his supporting credentials are proven to be fake, that might pose him a problem unless he’s connected. I doubt that, he doesn’t appear to have the financial fire power. Being paid in brown envelopes suggests tax evasion rather than wealth.
The petition to have him removed from YouTube, also a strong move.
Hi everyone,
Thanks for the updates, Contagious!
I want to add something to this conversation, if I may.
If anyone is interested, here’s the link to the petition Isla started to have Sam Vaknin’s YouTube channel reviewed by a human for breaching YouTube’s policies:
https://c.org/Y6MDhRDj9D
At the very least, there is enough evidence to support that SV is an unqualified con artist using YouTube as a hunting ground to scam and abuse his “patients”. That’s enough for me to take action.
Isla et al. have not analysed Vaknin the right way… He is not aware… He is not what he claims to be… There is misinformation about narcissism… Grannon is this and that…
Sorry, but who gives a fuck? Those victims sure don’t.
I personally don’t give a fuck about whether he is an aware narcissist or not. I don’t need a court of law to prove to me that what he’s doing is wrong. That shit is obvious. Isla did the hard work to bring out the evidence. Do I need a lawyer or a judge to tell me how to use my brain to analyse it? I don’t mind talking about him even if it gives him fuel, as long as I am helping someone not get caught up in his fuckery.
Most people reading this blog know what it’s like to be victimized by a narcissist. I certainly do. And I feel a need to do something about it, however small. To be clear, I think it’s interesting to talk about those things and intellectualise it all, but what does that accomplish for SV’s victims right now?
Truthseeker6157 said: “Vaknin will be re inventing himself and dismissing these allegations long after the publicity for the documentary and podcast has died down.”
Isn’t that precisely the problem? It is by people doing nothing that cunts like Vaknin get away with it their whole lives. But the compound effect of little actions can amount to something big.
Nothing in my comment is meant as criticism of anyone on this blog. It is not intended to hurt feelings. It’s a call to action, in case some people may still be holding back. Taking action matters. You can never know what a click, a share or a like can cause. We’ve seen the internet achieve extremely dumb things, but also spectacularly amazing things since its inception. Sam Vaknin needs to be stopped. Period.
The petition already has 250 signatures in just a day. Pls let’s keep the momentum up. Every signature counts.
Hi Joy,
I have taken action.
I understand the spirit of your comment.
“Isla et al. have not analysed Vaknin the right way… He is not aware… He is not what he claims to be… There is misinformation about narcissism… Grannon is this and that…Sorry, but who gives a fuck? Those victims sure don’t.”
Please don’t downplay the discussion here – this is where we learn to identify and avoid such predators as Vaknin in the first place, and for the future.
There is no better source for this information and place to apply our education through discussion.
Fair comment.
If SV’s behaviours occurred in the U.S legal action would occur? Perhaps in another time. Currently, he’d more likely unseat Robert Kennedy to become Secretary of Health and Human Services.
Hahaha!
Thanks for the laugh, NA.
NarcAngel:
Um. Are you aware of the Trial Lawyers Association in the USA? Long after Weinstein, Diddy and Epstein are convicted or dead, you can here the chink chink of millions hitting their victims bank accounts and the 33 to 40% the trial lawyers get:)
Hi Joy,
I didn’t see your comment as criticism. I do think that perhaps I need to clarify my position on Vaknin though.
It isn’t the case that I’m viewing this simply as an academic exercise, highlighting aspects of the documentary and accompanying podcast just because they are inaccurate. I’m highlighting them due to frustration.
Understanding narcissism matters. Accuracy about the narcissist in question matters, not in terms of an academic exercise but in context of what is unfolding in real life, now, with these real victims and also victims who form part of the documentary viewership.
Vaknin has been inaccurately portrayed as a psychopathic narcissist who plans his abuse and sets out to destroy his victims. A master manipulator who, under the guise of offering cold therapy, intentionally uses his YouTube channel as a front to knowingly target vulnerable women just so that he can abuse them financially, mentally and sexually with the end objective of causing them to commit suicide. This is inaccurate and the inaccuracy is important.
Misunderstanding narcissism means that Isla had no need to be terrified when she interviewed Vaknin. He’s Midrange, has a strong control over his ignited fury. He utilises cold fury and whilst Midrangers can occasionally become violent when their control is threatened, they are unlikely to do so, particularly in a room with male production crew. Had Isla known this, had she been properly advised, she would have suffered lower anxiety and might potentially of gone in harder, placing more pressure on Vaknin to show himself in real time. This is not to suggest Isla didn’t do a good job, but to state she was unnecessarily anxious thanks to substandard advice.
Misunderstanding narcissism means that through portraying Vaknin as a narcissist who is aware, planning his abuse and manipulations, victims watching the documentary who are also ensnared currently, will believe that this is what narcissists do, they plan and plan to destroy. Victims are often scared of leaving as it is, they often believe that the narcissist will hunt them down, harm them, and they will never escape. Fear causes people to freeze in place rather than escape as they otherwise might. The reality is that only a tiny percentage of narcissists are aware, most victims will never encounter an aware narcissist let alone a psychopath and narcissists prefer to keep their appliances alive and functioning. If more victims understood this, more would escape their own narcissists.
Vaknin is unaware that his cold therapy is not effective therapy at all. It’s magical thinking. He will however, fully believe in its legitimacy. He will fully believe that he was re traumatising clients as part of their therapy rather than as a means of acquiring the Prime Aims. Understanding this provides possible leverage. He will defend the therapy, he sees his abuse as legitimate therapy not abuse.
Misunderstanding narcissism means that people believe Vaknin is far more astute and impenetrable than he actually is. He isn’t Machiavellian, he doesn’t plan, he acts in the moment. He could be interviewed one week and say one thing and interviewed next week and say another, whatever it takes to achieve the Prime Aims in the moment. Understanding this provides useful information. Acting in the moment means that Vaknin will have been sloppy, he won’t have covered his tracks in terms of taxes, electronic communications, memberships, ‘professional’ insurance and so on. There is therefore further potential for leverage.
Misunderstanding narcissism means Lidija is portrayed as co conspirator. I don’t know what Lidija is, but, given she has soaked up devaluation from Vaknin for many years without escaping him, this suggests empath rather than narcissist, even a normal would likely have shipped out. If she is an empath, CoD or otherwise, then she is also a victim. One who has been gaslit and manipulated like any other victim, now portrayed as a knowing conspirator because she doesn’t fit the approved and recognised victim profile.
Misunderstanding narcissism means that in pursuing Vaknin (and rightly so) the documentary makers and unfortunately Isla (who is entirely genuine in my view) have elevated Grannon. Grannon is also a narcissist, with a platform, who runs seminars and meets vulnerable women in person and who admitted that (thanks to acting in the moment to achieve the Prime Aims) he has also knowingly taken a victim of Vaknin’s to his hotel room. I don’t believe that through all of those conferences that was the only time he did something of that ilk. Now vulnerable women see him as a hero, are showing support via Instagram and direct message, the future now looks far brighter than previously for Grannon the narcissist.
Misunderstanding narcissism means that by using Instagram Isla and Ann are now provoking Vaknin via Instagram posts and comments. Yes, I totally agree social media can be used to spread the word about Vaknin and his abuse of therapy victims, but it is also the narcissist’s playground. As such they need to proceed with caution and not engage with him directly.
Vaknin has a large following which can be mobilised to attack and discredit the victims. Are they mentally strong enough and prepared for that ? Who is advising them? As the victims provoke, Vaknin will have to respond, and the longer that goes on the more unclear the actual evidence will become. For example, Ann posted about the amount of money lost to a cold therapy that wasn’t even valid, money that Vaknin took fraudulently, money she rightly wants back. Vaknin meanwhile portrays Ann as a business partner. He now has opportunity to further assert that this is a Grannon orchestrated take down that is all about money. This would muddy the waters and detract from the legitimacy of the allegations.
I could go on.
My pointing out of the issues with the documentary and podcast is not just for education’s sake if that’s how it appeared. I’m not doing it as an academic exercise. I’m doing it because I’m frustrated. Vaknin has abused vulnerable women to achieve the Prime Aims as all narcissists do in some form or another. He will reinvent himself, absolutely. This is why understanding narcissism and doing the job of discrediting him needs to be done properly and a solid understanding of narcissism might achieve that more readily. Those victims deserve better representation via someone who actually understands narcissism, who can estimate with accuracy what Vaknin is likely to do next whilst capitalising on it ahead of time Instead, they get an advisory narcissist ‘hero’ in Grannon, who is not only inept but also a potential threat.
Sorry this was lengthy Joy, but I think perhaps I needed to clarify why I am so frustrated by the whole project. I am no less disgusted by Vaknin than anyone else here. I already reported his channel, I will be signing the petition as well. Just because I haven’t openly stated what I’m doing, doesn’t automatically mean that I’m not doing anything.
Hopefully this makes my motivation a little clearer.
Well stated.
Another insightful comment TS; you have outlined and highlighted several important issues regarding the fallout of The Narcissist’s Playbook.
“Grannon is also a narcissist, with a platform, who runs seminars and meets vulnerable women in person and who admitted that (thanks to acting in the moment to achieve the Prime Aims) he has also knowingly taken a victim of Vaknin’s to his hotel room. I don’t believe that through all of those conferences that was the only time he did something of that ilk. Now vulnerable women see him as a hero, are showing support via Instagram and direct message, the future now looks far brighter than previously for Grannon the narcissist.”
Yes! I shake my head thinking that this has evolved into an exposure of one narcissist – but, also the unwitting elevation of another narcissist.
“Midrangers can occasionally become violent when their control is threatened, they are unlikely to do so, particularly in a room with male production crew. Had Isla known this, had she been properly advised, she would have suffered lower anxiety and might potentially of gone in harder, placing more pressure on Vaknin to show himself in real time.”
I thought about this as well. Initially, Isla (and the film makers) wanted to do the confrontation interview, with Vaknin, outdoors. This was so they could have police officers close by in the event that things turned physical. But the weather turned too cold and, nearly last minute, they had to move things indoors, making it inconvenient to have the officers at close hand. I remember thinking: how silly, he won’t get violent (a verbal outburst could be forthcoming, but not violence). But, of course, I am operating with the education I received from HG. I then thought of the film makers who had asked Isla to do this confrontation – and they wouldn’t necessarily have a proper understanding of narcissism – but, they would have exercised prudence given the *potential* risk to Isla, and in that context, the inclusion of police makes more sense.
I do agree with you that Isla could have done more (she’s steely enough) if she had had more advanced access to HG’s work.
Hello TS:
I agree with a lot you said. Here is where I differ:
1. What about his financial fraud? You don’t own a bank, make a shitload of money, manipulate stock without planning, strategy and know how. What about the fact SV got out of prison set up support groups, learned about narcissism, skipped over an education and licensing to become highly prevalent on YouTube? This takes strategy and planning. What’s all his foundations about, his changing of accounts to receive the 1/2 million Euros, the cash payments …yes, it looks like some serious tax evasion going on which takes just a bit of know how and planning. What about Vasko’s question… who gave you citizenship? Is SV legally there despite being a convicted felon in Israel? Gee, I wonder if SV got in illegally… These are all crimes. And not your impulsive- hey I need drug money, let’s go rob a store tonight type. These crimes take planning, strategy and know how.
What about the “ coincidence” that SV chose Macedonia, and that the regulatory board there seems un-able to enforce the laws ( think SV is not connected?), that SV just happened to become close friends with the former PM of Macedonia who he told Vasko on his television show that he spoke to this PM almost daily and shares cooking chicken advice and fine wine tips with him. Can anyone just become friends with the head of a country? Happenstance or strategic planning… How about the fact that SV got a psychology degree from CIAPS where he is the one who oversees the program for a psychology certificate? I know as I fake applied there to get information on the program. It’s a 3 month course. How about the fact that his victims come from several different countries but not the UK, not the USA but rather Russia and other countries mainly that have terrible enforcement policies on DV and rape? None of this seems un-strategic to me. Now maybe he has an extraordinary IQ so he is a smart UMR and these carefully orchestrated frauds are a result of this fact not narcissism. The one and only genius UMR. Per Sam he is one of 9 in the world.
Then, what’s the sexual sadism about? Pissing and shitting on “patients”, smearing his shit on their faces unannounced, drawing swasticas on their bodies, humiliating them, jumping naked on a woman lying in bed and putting her in a position that could be interpreted as an assault as she could not move. Is this typical of an UMR? Not that I have learned… and it is serial in nature. And it is not in all instances during a devaluation phase as with Claire he apologized and continued to idealize her long after assaulting her then devalued then left. What gives with that? Graham Hill is knowledgeable and so far he says that if only a few women have reported rape, there are many more victims as rape is under reported. Is it typical for an UMR to be a rapist? Or does Sam have a co-morbidity like psychopathic traits or like I sense some sexual compulsion going on where he only gets his rocks off by sexually seriously hurting someone?
Narcissism has a high statistical rate of a co-morbidity.
None of the above lessens the risks SV imposes on society. I will say it again… would anyone be surprised to learn that a woman committed suicide after being a “ patient” of Sam’s? Without an investigation, how could anyone know?
And don’t you agree that if this behavior occurred in the USA or the UK or Australia etc…. Legal action would occur. That’s the part that gets me.
And where am I wrong in this? By all means, let me know;)
I truly would appreciate it:)
Hello TS:
One last thing:
In his cold therapy seminars and Isla has listed all of them and quoted. SV repeatedly says he retraumatizes the patient, there are suicide risks and it is extremely dangerous. Of course we know he does it anyway.
So is he is not aware that he is risking suicide? Is he not aware that he is violating laws?
Here’s my take: Most likely he is thinking only he can do this as a UMR ( magical thinking) but he won’t get any leniency as to awareness of his crimes if he goes to court. And that’s the rub…. SV is aware of his actions. SV knows he has no license and he is not being supervised. SV knows it is risky. SV knows suicide is a risk. Narcissists are aware of the acts they take. They know right from wrong, SV knows he is committing a crime. SV just is deluded into believing that only he can do this and succeed no one else can and SV obviously believes the laws are inconsequential to HIM. This is tricky as awareness matters in court. Narcissists are not under psychosis or 200 drugs ( Clancy), they know what they are doing. They know right from wrong.
I hope you reply to my view that SV does plan and strategize and please tell me how I am missing the mark as he has planned and strategized in financial fraud, tax evasion, befriending the former PM of Macedonia, obviously connected to regulatory board, his choice of victims ( location) and choice of residency ( think Tate) and perhaps his attainment of citizenship despite his felony record in Israel.
Then let me know how his rapes and sexual sadism fit into an UMR profile as rape is violence and SV showed sexual assault with Claire.
I am thinking a co-morbidity….
Thank you!
It is called Instinctive Planning.
Oh and what about Graham Hills opinion that there are many more rapes and Sam is dangerous? Can UMR be a danger to society? Or is there something else going on? Or do you disagree with Graham Hills?
Hi 1 Who Cares,
Thank you for your kind words.
“Please don’t downplay the discussion here – this is where we learn to identify and avoid such predators as Vaknin in the first place, and for the future.
There is no better source for this information and place to apply our education through discussion.”
I totally agree. The discussions we have here on the blog about famous and infamous figures don’t always feel comfortable, but they do teach us how to identify and avoid predators. We get things right, sometimes we get things wrong, but I think the discussions and then seeing the final analysis are where much of the applied learning takes place.
The world of narcissism and online forums together with their so -called experts is an absolute quagmire to navigate. There are victims thinking they are narcissists and narcissists thinking they are victims, Grannon being a prime example. Isla is working incredibly hard whilst in many ways she’s flying blind. I take my hat off to her, I just wish that she had gained access to better quality information about narcissism.
Hi Contagious,
I think we have to take what Vaknin says about himself both past and present with a grain of salt. If there is any truth to what he says, it will be grossly exaggerated. His credentials are an example of that. Also the bank ownership. I own shares in a bank so I could say “I own a bank” I don’t, I say “I have some shares.” Vaknin likely bought some shares, he might have had a lot of shares at some point, but he says “ I bought a bank.” Talk is cheap, few people would ever ask him to prove he bought a bank. Vaknin isn’t anywhere near as successful or intelligent as he claims in my view. Maybe he took that online IQ test that I took! (Brighter than Marilyn Monroe but not as bright as Einstein) Haha!
I saw HG’s response to your points about planning. I found this video very useful. I haven’t found a video that concentrates only on instinctive planning but HG gives a definition here.
https://youtu.be/auwudc6mUCQ?is=EIyiqwvPVDyXAxXB
In terms of the sadism, I had to look that one up. I see some of his behaviours as sadistic. After reading the article below, I don’t think Vaknin is a sadist, but I think he has the sadistic streak.
https://narcsite.com/2024/06/10/knowing-the-narcissist-sadistic-streak-7/
I’m a little behind now with the podcast. I don’t know anything about Graham Hills but I would say that an Upper Mid Range narcissist can definitely be a danger to society. For me, the underlying darkness of the UMR was shown here.
https://youtu.be/UbOpeRR3gqc?is=KT_8YRIb2orzcewD
https://youtu.be/-e8hXq9zOpk?is=OGSkKJ1E1EwreYTi
I don’t know all the answers Contagious. But I know a man who does!
Hello Joy!
It’s doubling daily. Great comment!
I want to add that what infuriates me is that we aren’t talking about an actual court case or someone waiting to be extradited. Everyone here agrees that the evidence shows ( ie photos, texts, emails, victims detailed testimony) that he practices psychology without a license.
Yet…. The Macedonia regulatory psychology board who has received all the evidence has done nothing! They won’t even return Isla’s calls. Victims have reported everything to them. This board could notify SV:” Hey Vaknin ( spelling correct lol) no more cold therapy or you must have a supervised license psychologist or no more treating “ patients””………. or what most would do: report what they know from an avalanche of evidence to the local police.
Graham Hill should be on next week. I should clarify my former comment. He is not with Scotland Yard, he has collaborated with them. He is famous for his work on the Delroy Grant case and especially Madeleine McCann. Graham was with Surrey police. Very knowledgeable!
Vasko is on board but nothing posted… yet.
I believe the local pressure is key and that Isla find more locals like the Macedonia version of Graham Hill to interview although let’s see what Vasko does…. And with Isla, the tireless crusader… she won’t stop. If you look at her Patreon account ( 7.00 USD a month) she is relentless. I think she has just started.
But Joy, you are so right. Here is an opportunity to help. Yes, SV is a narcissist but whether he is aware or not, SV is a criminal at large, and legally unfettered with broad access. The risks of his actions are great and I feel the more that is discovered, the more tragedy will be found. This story has just begun in my book.
You don’t just get people like Graham Hill and Vasko Eftov to join the bandwagon out of the blue. Vasko is a celebrity in his own country. Vasko does political work on television and interviews many celebrities there. Both men are brilliant, respected and forces of nature. It will be fascinating to learn from them and how they themselves approach the subject matter. When? I read Vasko was to be at 10:00 but there was nothing. Perhaps I read it wrong or this was Isla’s announcement of his involvement. No doubt he is a busy man. But… it will happen.
The fact SV canceled his attendance at a seminar is telling. SV is active as are his supporters trying to discredit Isla, the victims/survivors but I believe SV won’t escape his crime of practicing without a license or at least SV will be stopped in some form or fashion. I don’t know much about the allegations of rape so no comment there.
As to his citizenship, he is married to a citizen… I believe…. BUT many countries do not allow a felon or someone who was jailed for fraud like SV was in Israel into the country so that is a big question for me.
There is a Macedonia forensic psychology and criminal organization that has LICENSED psychologists who are selected by the Macedonian prosecutors for cases. I wonder what someone there would think about SV’s psychology practice? Hmmmmmmmm.
Local pressure is needed when the teachers are letting a student grade his own test. The Macedonia board of psychologists needs to be held accountable too as they are NOT enforcing Macedonia law…. Maybe they are taking their time to do so. ….. Who knows?
Something is up with them. “Something is rotten in Denmark.”
Btw: TS thanks for your kind words. Many know someone who died from suicide. COVID cost a lot of lives, suicide rates went way up. As I said in my comment supporting the petition… can you imagine a loved one who saw SV online and was suicidal from a bad relationship turning to SV? Not knowing the lack of credentials, the lack of his licensing, his time in jail for fraud, and paying 750$ an hour to be subjected to the unorthodox, unethical, probably illegal cold therapy where SV reenacts the trauma?
I have posted on my social media and got over 10,000 views and many comments. Most are confused… “Wait! He is an expert… He is a professor…He is so knowledgeable… what? He has no license?” Etc…. That’s the problem, people assume he is who he says he is and fall into his trap. This has been going on since he got out of prison…. Crazy.
Hello All,
I have read all of the comments here with interest.
There was a detail in Isla’s podcast that was telling, that is, the way the police reacted when two (?) of the women victims of SV went to the police to make complaints about him.
I can’t recall the specific locations of the police stations where the complaints were made. I think they were in Macedonia, Russia, or in European countries that were not the UK.
The reactions of the police to the women’s complaints were revealing and very typical of the normalised ‘corruption’ and misogyny in those countries.
The reactions the women received from the police were:
– the women were accused of targeting a famous and well-known man and trying to bring him down for the women’s own self-serving and nefarious reasons;
– the women were laughed at and scorned for being outright liars and ‘fantasists’; and/or
– the women were threatened with arrest for sleeping with SV and then attempting to lie about what actually happened.
This is the *police* in those particular countries. Law enforcement. The people in society who are ‘supposed’ to protect all citizens from unlawful behaviour. Apparently, they are the ones to turn to when one is threatened with harm in that particular country.
In short, the average woman in those countries may as well report the psychological subtleties of ‘coercive control’ and the injustices of sexual misconduct or domestic violence she has experienced to a pack of wolves for all the good it will do her.
The powers that be in those particular countries are so immersed in a long-standing and deeply ingrained collective social climate that uprooting ‘abusers’ is almost impossible.
Think of what it would be like if a woman in Russia went to a police station and accused Putin of rape. Would the police there immediately stop everything and go to every length possible to arrest Putin? Or, would they laugh and turn her away as a deluded and mentally unstable fantasist?
This example is not to say that SV is on the level of someone as politically powerful as Putin.
Rather, it is to illustrate the kind of social ‘lens’ that is very normalised and very prevalent in this kind of political and social culture.
To think of these European countries as having equivalent underlying motivations in their social behaviours, laws and political ‘constructs’ as say the US or the UK or Australia for example, is to compare apples and oranges. They are different and the differences are ingrained (due in large part to collectivistic and vertical social structures).
The social behaviours, laws and political constructs in Western nations such as the UK, US and Australia are difficult enough to modify so that women have an ‘equal’ voice in matters of law and politics. This difficulty is amplified and even more entrenched in the countries where SV is based and has a foothold.
Fair observations and structure created often by narcissists which are then exploited by narcissists (as well as non-narcissists).
Hello HG:
Thank you for your response. Please elaborate on what is “ instinctive planning” and how does that differ from the legal definition of being aware of your actions and knowing right from wrong. Direct me to a video on this “ instinctive planning.”?”
This education would help me understand many of the criminal narc cases.
2. Since you were so kind about your response to my question of his obvious strategic planning … what about his sexual sadism and allegations of rapes? He did jump on one woman allegedly and pinned her down naked and ejaculated on her. How does that fit in with a UMR ? Or…. Drum roll… is it something else? A co- morbidity like sexual sadism or psychopathic traits?
Thank you! I truly appreciate the education. I don’t want to be right, I want to correct:)
I’ve explained Instinctive planning in my work previously so I’m not going to repeat myself.
If you access that material you can thn apply it to Shitfinger’s behaviour to work it out and if you’re still confused you can explain what’s confusing you.
‘Shitfinger’ 😂
Hello Truthseeker:
How the heck do you find all these videos that are right on point! Thank you!
Ok I get it. UMR have the ability to plan but in a limited way. HG says “ Taking certain steps in a cocoon of influence….” And HG says he is going to do a video on that later. “ Did he?
And yes that explains it…. SV exaggerates but I still see planning in manipulating stock as an investor of majority stock or bank owner ( and you must own a majority share or be an owner to do so), tax evasion, limiting his liability ( choice of location, choice of victims), networking with the head of a country …not the run of the mill average” achievements” an average Joe has who does not plan….. But it explains more… SV also went to jail, has police reports against him in Poland, Russia and somewhere else un- known, SV got exposed in Ipsycho, and by MV and by Vasko who challenged his residency, etc…. So it makes sense his plans and strategy ability exists but in a limited way as he obviously sucks at it. If I am right as to the definition of “ certain steps in a cocoon of influence.”
HG: Did you do a video where you explain how UMR can take “ certain steps in a cocoon of influence?” Anyone? I looked but I am not TS!
As to sexual sadism…
I use the term sexual as I don’t see his sadistic streak outside of the bedroom. SV openly talks about a sexless marriage in front of his wife and she seems to acknowledge it. So it seems he gets off on sexual sadism.
The DSM has a Sexual Sadism Disorder that’s where I got it from- this is my suspicion due to what I sense is a compelling urge in SV:
To quote the DSM : Sexual sadism is “ a mental-health diagnosis that applies when these URGES involve a non-consenting person, cause significant distress or impairment, or lead to harm or risk of harm.”
So we are NOT talking about S&M.
“Consent must be informed, voluntary, and ongoing. If someone feels at risk of acting on non-consensual urges, they should avoid situations where harm could occur and contact a qualified mental-health professional or emergency service.”
This is why I said a “ paraphilia” which is a recurring, intense sexual interest involving atypical objects, situations, or activities.
Having paraphilia does not automatically mean having a mental disorder. It becomes Sexual Sadism Disorder when it causes significant distress or impairment, involves a non-consenting person, or leads to harm. By the way it can be serious harm. Rape is serious harm.
Everything I have read points to sexual sadism by this definition.
Is SV a sadist? I don’t see it. I worked on one motion for the gang unit on a case long ago and learned about a gang banger case where the members cut the nipples off womens breasts, inserted objects into them (coke bottles) , beat and gang raped them. These men also killed to enter the gang, killed over drug turf… well murder was second nature. They tortured others in ways too graphic for me to say here as if what I described was not bad enough. I will use the term fire as a hint. Real life. Real case. Psychopaths. Sadists. Shooting wasn’t enough. Raping was not enough. It had to be inflicted pain to whet their appetite.
So no, SV is not a psychopath or a sadist. I think he is a sexual sadist in that I think he gets his rocks off by harming others in a non consensual way. It appears many…. so it appears serial. Examples is the patient who he said “ close your eyes I will hypnotize you” and then he smeared his shit on her mouth, or jumping naked on Claire to ejaculate on her face while she was pinned down, etc… etc… this is not kinky sex, this appears to be non-consensual humiliation and abuse so I suspect a co- morbidity.
At the end of the day, he is a fraud, a con, and his illegal, unethical, unorthodox therapy is risking lives if SV has not already taken them. SV came close with both Ann and especially Claire.
You know I raised this point with Isla. Isla is not at risk. Hell no. Isla is emotional but she is a warrior. None of the people on this blog that I have met are at risk. The women who SV selects are “ broken”. That is my focus. The last person you want a loved one to turn to, who is fragile maybe suicidal maybe even after coming out of a narcissistic relationship is this shit head. Suicide is also real. SV is dangerous. Macedonia needs to do something even if it is to stop his cold therapy or assign him a proper supervisor.
Whenever someone does something sexual without consent, there is danger.
And rape? I still have not learned about the facts of rape. If so, this would definitely fall into sexual sadism. The fact that there are allegedly 3 reports of rape in countries so eloquently described above that do Jack shit indicates sexual sadism. Graham Hill is impressive to me. I look forward to hearing from him and the profiler Laura.
I must say I adore this blog and its members and HG. I love learning. I also am proud of this group as so many have proven to be extraordinary empaths helping Isla, helping others even outside of this case.
Thanks TS!!!! Thanks HG!!!!!
By the way, in 4 days 552 signatures, double is needed as change.org says 1000 signatures makes it five times more likely to work.
Please sign fellow bloggers. It’s an important cause;)
“Shitfinger” Lololol!
I have to remember to not be eating or drinking while reading on the blog! Lol!
Hi Contagious,
As suggested, I’ve added my name to the petition.
TS says:
“Fear causes people to freeze in place rather than escape as they otherwise might. The reality is that only a tiny percentage of narcissists are aware, most victims will never encounter an aware narcissist let alone a psychopath and narcissists prefer to keep their appliances alive and functioning.”
This statement (and the rest of TS’s comment in general) makes it sound like victims of unaware narcissists have ‘leverage’ because the unaware narcissist acts ‘in the moment’ and therefore is not as dangerous as the victim fears.
This is misleading.
In Sydney, Australia, this past weekend, there were four separate and unrelated extremely violent events. Police officers who attended one or more of the situations reported later that the weekend was one of the worst they had experienced.
Briefly, the events were:
1) Three young children under the age of five were found with serious stab wounds inside a car. One young boy died at the scene, while his two younger siblings and their 41-year-old mother were rushed to the hospital in a critical condition.
2) A woman was allegedly killed by a man known to her in a domestic violence attack.
3) A woman lost her life after being allegedly attacked by someone she knew.
4) A fatal domestic violence incident occurred when a woman was allegedly killed in a violent act.
These were all actual events. There is ample ‘evidence’ that they occurred.
The alleged perpetrators were most likely narcissists or psychopaths, and they were most likely unaware narcissists or psychopaths. As a result, they were probably acting ‘in the moment’.
The results of the alleged unaware narcissists acting in the moment were extremely violent and fatal.
My point here is to say that there *is* reason to fear unaware narcissists who act ‘in the moment’ as long as you are in, or have entered, their sphere of control.
It could be violent acts such as physical attacks by a Lower Mid-range, or it could be less dangerous but also harmful acts such as an unaware Upper Mid-range narcissist drawing a swastika or doing something else disgusting.
Knowledge about narcissism in the way HG explains it doesn’t mean that you can somehow be immune from the acts of a narcissist on the basis that the narcissist being unaware gives you ‘leverage’.
On a side note, I’m saying this because there are inaccuracies in TS’s comment.
HG thinks I comment like this because I am envious. This is not the case at all.
I have seen inaccuracies and assumptions in TS’s comments before as well.
Just because she is a loyal member of the coterie who never criticises HG doesn’t mean everything she says is accurate. Nor is what she says representative of every empathic person.
It is interesting albeit unsurprising that you repeatedly need to criticise TS. Whilst it may be the case that TS is incorrect about some things (something she would readily acknowledge) you relish the opportunity to seek to demonstrate that she may be incorrect. You also up the ante by including the incorrect suggestion she “never criticises HG”. Actually often challenges me in a critical fashion through consultation. Further, you also escalate by referencing her being a member of the coterie – this is irrelevant to the issue of whether she is correct about something and is a gratuitous embellishment.
Let us examine what you have written.
You begin by quoting TS.
““Fear causes people to freeze in place rather than escape as they otherwise might. The reality is that only a tiny percentage of narcissists are aware, most victims will never encounter an aware narcissist let alone a psychopath and narcissists prefer to keep their appliances alive and functioning.”
This statement (and the rest of TS’s comment in general) makes it sound like victims of unaware narcissists have ‘leverage’ because the unaware narcissist acts ‘in the moment’ and therefore is not as dangerous as the victim fears.”
You have made quite leap of reasoning. TS is correctly pointing out that only a tiny percentage of narcissists are aware. You then write “TS make it sound” – but that is you interpreting what was written. TS does not state it, you interpret it that way. That is an interesting way to commence a critical examination of the accuracy of what someone has written by not assessing what they have written but what you interpret it as.
“In Sydney, Australia, this past weekend, there were four separate and unrelated extremely violent events. Police officers who attended one or more of the situations reported later that the weekend was one of the worst they had experienced.
Briefly, the events were:
1) Three young children under the age of five were found with serious stab wounds inside a car. One young boy died at the scene, while his two younger siblings and their 41-year-old mother were rushed to the hospital in a critical condition.
2) A woman was allegedly killed by a man known to her in a domestic violence attack.
3) A woman lost her life after being allegedly attacked by someone she knew.
4) A fatal domestic violence incident occurred when a woman was allegedly killed in a violent act.
These were all actual events. There is ample ‘evidence’ that they occurred.”
Six people were victims of violence. It is worth noting that the estimated population of Greater Sydney is 5,638,830. That means 5 638 824 people were not victims of serious violence – or at least reported violence. This is an important context.
“The alleged perpetrators were most likely narcissists or psychopaths, and they were most likely unaware narcissists or psychopaths. As a result, they were probably acting ‘in the moment’.
The results of the alleged unaware narcissists acting in the moment were extremely violent and fatal.”
On what evidence do you base the statement that the alleged perpetrators were most likely narcissists or psychopaths? It is a possibility that the perpetrators are narcissists and/or psychopaths, it is the case that many offenders are more likely to be narcissists or psychopaths compared to the general population however it also a distinct possibility that they are non-narcissists who have engaged in criminal conduct. For example, 7.7% of the male UK prison population meets the criteria for psychopathy, 64% of the male prison population in the Uk has some form of personality disorder (there is no information to identify the proportion that are narcissists).
Accordingly, it is interesting that you criticise a commenter regarding accuracy when you may well be guilty of inaccuracy yourself.
It is the case that unaware narcissists can be violent amidst using other forms of control which would generate fear in the victim, but it is evident that you have taken something that TS wrote and applied an interpretation to it which is your interpretation. You have then criticised this interpretation which belongs to you and then you end with gratuitous comments which are not relevant to the issue.
TS
“You’ll be demonized for no other reason than your glow hurts their eyes”
C Joybell C.
Thank you for checking in NA xx.
This is quite the response, HG.
I see that your defensiveness of some commenters compared to others is very obvious.
I also see that ‘free speech’ is more ‘free’ for some than others.
TS is free to say what she wants about me based on her personal opinion. In one recent conversation, her opinion was an outright insult.
Yet, in that instance (and in other instances involving other commenters as well) you didn’t say a word in response.
Is there a reason commenters here should be tiptoeing and walking on eggshells around TS?
Well done, you responded as I predicted.
You failed to address the points I raised and made it about defending a commentator.
No, it was about pointing out your inaccuracies.
Once again you’ve proven my point. I know you can’t see it, others do.
HG,
Your long and detailed uncharacteristic reply in defence of TS *is* primarily about defending a commenter.
Why did you step in to reply on TS’s behalf anyway?
I’m genuinely curious.
I have already answered this.
I did not step in on TS behalf. She would have answered you herself although she has chosen to not engage with you.
I did so because I wanted to highlight your inaccuracies and hypocrisy, which again you fail to see. That is what my comment was about. You failed to pay heed to the fact that I was referencing YOUR comments (not TS). The evidence shows this.
I see.
It’s paramount for you to step in and comment to “highlight” my “inaccuracies and hypocrisy”…
Meanwhile other commenters get a free pass to spread their inaccuracies, display their hypocrisy, provoke, and openly insult people.
That’s a hefty dose of hypocrisy, projection, and gaslighting.
No, it just you blame shifting and deflecting.
Dear HG and TS,
SPOILER ALERT***
I wanted to point out that Clancy is a Normal and she killed her 3 children, she wasn’t a narcissist or a psychopath and yet, she murdered her children. A killer isn’t always a narcissist or a psychopath. My own brother had ASPD, but didn’t kill anyone. It is not accurate to assume all killers are narcissists or people with ASPD. Xx
Hi Rebecca,
Apparently, Schizophrenia and related psychotic disorders show the strongest specific clinical correlation with homicidal behaviour among severe mental illnesses in the UK.
Personality disorders and affective/mood disorders (depression for example) are also frequently represented among perpetrators with psychiatric histories. That’s according to academic studies conducted by Manchester University. Risk increases with substance abuse.
I’m not sure though if every person accused of murder in the UK has to have a psychological evaluation.
Quite interesting when we think about the Clancy case.
Hi TS,
I wonder what the percentages of each shows up in the killers on deathrow right now? Would you say majority are Normal, Narcissist, Narcissistic, sociopaths or psychopaths? I know right away the majority won’t be psychopaths or even sociopaths. They are not that common as narcissists are now. If giving a guess, I would say it would be almost a 50/50 cut of Normal and Narcissists, but that is my opinion. What do you think, TS? HG?
Am I right, or off on my thinking? Xx
Hi TS,
One of my stepsons was diagnosed with Schizophernia…probably butchered the hell out of the spelling of that word…and Asbergers…back when he was 18 and now they don’t even use the term of Asbergers…excuse my spelling…He takes medicines, one of which is Lithium for his mood swings. I think the doctors misses his narcissistic behaviors, as he lies a lot and manipulates and I hate to say it, but he is a right asshole. He can get violent too, which is why he is in a program that houses him and he is monitored 24/7 and has a caretaker living with him. He is housed with others with similar behaviors and violent tendencies. I feel bad for him because not even his own mother visits him, but I can understand why. I don’t visit him either, as being around him, for me, feels like being near a cobra. I don’t know what might set him off and I am generally on edge. He came over for Christmas, year before last, and it was very nervewrecking for me. I sat on the other side of the room and monitored his body language , much like I used to do with my LMrVnarc mother as a child in her home. I am very much aware of what he is capable of and it is why I avoid him as much as possible. He created a new account on facebook and friend requested me again, again I blocked and deleted him. He really makes me uncomfortable because of his tendencies towards violence. He kicked his sister in the face and pushed his younger brother down the stairs. He has accused me of saying stuff I never said. He has a lot of nasty behaviors. I haven’t put him through the NDC because I don’t think I have enough info on him, I go by what I have seen and what my senses tell me, and they say, stay away from him. He could snap at any moment. Xx
Schizophrenia- from the Greek meaning split mind.
Asperger’s . Nothing to do with Big Macs!
Hi Rebecca,
I read that roughly a third of killers on death row pass the criteria for psychopathy on the PCLR. In the US that means they have a score of 30 and above. In the UK a score of 25 and above means you cross the threshold to be called a psychopath. Five points is quite a difference I think.
Of the remaining two thirds, I don’t know. Given the Manchester study I would imagine psychotic mental disorders and mood disorders would be in there, possibly Sadistic Personality Disorder. Some would be normals and narcissistic, I’m thinking more mob related killings there but ASPD would be in with those as well. Crimes of passion feature strongly in homicide but I don’t know if that would land a killer on death row. I’ve never really looked at death row killers.
In terms of your nephew, I think if he makes you feel afraid like that then you should feel no obligation to be around him. Sometimes you have to think of yourself and your own well-being. I agree with you, it is a sad story, he clearly has no freedom having to be monitored like that but if he is violent and his disorder isn’t controlled effectively via medication then full time monitoring is likely the safest option for him and everybody else. Sad, but unavoidable. Do you sense malice, or is it the feeling that he is so unpredictable that scares you more?
Hi, TS. “I have my own quirk about wrists. I’ll leave that there I think!”
Are you teasing me? I don’t think I’ve explored the quirks of another empath. There was that waitress in Arkansas but I haven’t submitted a detector.
Allison,
“There was that waitress in Arkansas….” You’re cracking me up.
But if I tell you all my quirks then there is nothing to discover. No, I’m not teasing you but I hope you are this funny when we meet and run away together!
TS, you’re making me swoon! I would say I’m blushing but I stay the same color. Sometimes my mouth changes when I feel all shy, though. It puckers like I just licked lemons.
I’ve never used it to smooch another confirmed empath before.
We can’t turn this into a dating site and wallow in our passion! I’ll stop now before HG gets the shackles. Or maybe…
Allison, ha! I think I know where that’s going…
Agreed, see you over on Raya. 😂
what the hello dear is going on here? 😀
Hey REBECCA: I guessed right. I voted “ normal.” It is nice to get it right.
I think there is blame: her doctors and big pharma. It’s a cesspool.
Hi Contagious, I agree, I think the doctors, the drugs, her family, even herself, all had a part to play on those children being killed. Xx
Hello those interested in personality disorders in the prison population :
Those figures came from **general prison-population research, not California death-row studies**. They were broad contextual estimates, and I should have identified the sources more clearly.
– **Any personality disorder:**
Fazel and Danesh’s systematic review of 62 prison surveys found personality disorders in about **65% of male prisoners and 42% of female prisoners** in the studies reviewed.
**Source:** Fazel S, Danesh J. “Serious mental disorder in 23,000 prisoners: a systematic review of 62 surveys.” *The Lancet*. 2002;359:545–550.
– **Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD):**
Estimates around **30–50%** are commonly reported in reviews of incarcerated populations, but they vary substantially with the diagnostic criteria and sample. One widely cited source is:
**Source:** Fazel S, Yoon IA, Hayes AJ. “Substance use disorders in prisoners: an updated systematic review and meta-regression analysis.” *Addiction*. 2017;112:1725–1739.
This source is broader than ASPD specifically, so it should not be treated as a definitive ASPD estimate.
A more directly relevant review is:
– **Source:** Fazel S, Seewald K. “Severe mental illness in 33,588 prisoners worldwide: systematic review and meta-regression analysis.” *The British Journal of Psychiatry*. 2012;200:364–373.
The important correction is that **there is no sound basis for saying that 40–60% of California death-row inmates have personality disorders**. That range describes findings from some prison studies generally; it is not a California death-row statistic.
So …. Very very high. But there are lots of other mental health disorders and most overlap.
Substance abuse disorder overlaps a lot.
Pretty safe to say, our prisons have lots of narcissists and psychopaths.
How many are there that kill?
“Did someone write they’re happy to play prisoner?”
HG, I couldn’t think of a more effective warden than you. But look sharp–I’m artful and I get up to all kinds of mischief. I need a stern hand if I’m to be reformed. Will you tame such a wayward one?
Easily.
(Stares silently. Grows aroused.)
Hi, Leigh. I received a consultation from HG on the status of one of my professors and it turned out she wasn’t a narcissist. Using that insight along with his other material I can say it appears that academia is a hunting ground, however. Now that time has passed those with persistent indicators stand out to me and I avoid coming up on their radar as much as possible. That consultation provided not only relief regarding a particular person, but it helped open my eyes generally. Admittedly the light was painfully bright at first, but I’m grateful because I now have more strength.
There are two women in the department I’m confident are narcissists and I only have to deal with one of them through an intermediary. The other I had the misfortune of encountering rained love bombs on me which immediately put me off. She was later described to me by the department secretary as a “chaos agent”. Apt.
So the world of the university is definitely a place where I watch my step. The environment incentivizes vipers and petty dictators. I know if I do find myself in a pit I can go to HG for clear direction and that’s powerful.
I passed my comprehensive exams and I’m ABD (All But Dissertation)–the muddy no man’s land. But I’m excited about learning my methods and in future I’ll look to apply them to questions related to narcissists and communication.
Hi Allison,
It’s so nice to have Mr. Tudor in your back pocket, isn’t it? Just thinking about your response to that is making me chuckle, lol. I love your wittiness. In all seriousness though, it’s wonderful to have access to Mr. Tudor. He really can point us to the evidence & give us clarity.
That’s exciting that you’re ABD! Now that your coursework is done, can I assume that will change the hunting ground a bit too?
Hi, Leigh. It’s the same hunting ground but I’m better armed these days.
I wouldn’t say Mr. Tudor is in my back pocket. I’m not that kind of girl. Not without a hot lunch and a pudding.
Hi Leigh:
Have you ever accidentally found yourself being a narcissist? I am on vacation and have found myself doing narc type moves.
First, I met this age appropriate very successful NYC man online who is easy on the eyes ( yes I know) who I have been safely talking to for 6 months from California and turning down his offers to meet as I have been too busy. ( I haven’t dated in two years since my divorce) . I was supposed to do dinner with him in NYC but my plane got delayed and I had to cancel. Well I was messaging my girlfriend in Belfast in the airport who is coming to LA soon as her baby daddy is doing a Hulu series. .. and I said “ I can’t wait to see you! We must do something special for Halloween! I love you!” And I sent it to Mr. NYC by mistake……. Oops….
I am love bombing. I have never met him in person. I am a narc. ( and a humiliated one)
So he writes back he “ loves me too “ “baby” and I tried to tell him that it was a mistake twice but he doesn’t seem to understand and now he is laying down the law for me about what I can and cannot do on vacation. … oh well….
Then, in Turkey, I become a pathological liar and manipulator.
I like to avoid expensive tours and instead work out a deal with a local cabbie. They know the area just as well or better. It’s usually a great move. I used to travel with my husband but this trip alone ( except I have friends in London and Athens…. And I need to lose weight so I feel I am traveling with me and my stomach)…..
True story: I get in the taxi, he seats me up front and about two minutes in, he says “ you will be my wife.” “ you are a beautiful woman and I marry you.” He takes my hand by force and holds it up in the air and says something from a Muslim prayer which he says suffices for us to be married. I said “but I am Christian.” He replies “ don’t worry my love plenty of Muslims marry Christians in Turkey.” And during the 4 hours he showed me the best parts of Kushdasi. Local stuff tourists miss, little cafe, farms with figs touching the car windows as you pass. He stops and introduces me to everyone ( farmers, shopkeepers, Zultanite mine owner) as his wife. It was a great tour except for his hand on my knee or thigh while he drove which I ignored and was indifferent too until we got to Ephesus. There on top of the mountain by the Mother Mary’s last home… he smacks my ass. Ok. So I turn to him and look him in the eye, and I say “ You know I am American, yes?” He replies, “ yes yes you are my beautiful American wife.” And I say “ Well then you know President Trump and his new law that allows Americans to carry concealed weapons into other countries to protect American interests” and I look at my purse. (LIE). He steps back and looks uncertain but we leave separately to the taxi. He must have thought about it because we get in the car and he says “ I take you to my house my love, no sex but I give you free massage.” Now I am worried and I am too old to tell him I want lots of babies to scare him away… so I strategize and I reply, “But if we go to your house I won’t have time to buy all the gifts for my family and friends at your mothers shop by the ship.” ( LIE) He does a quick u-turn and he speeds to the port shop. I get out, walk past his mothers place and board the ship.
The next move I make is more psychopathic than narcissistic, as I rent a motorcycle at the next stop which is Rhodes, Greece to explore the medieval city along the ocean. I love hogs. I start out pleased and feeling wild and free ( reckless, thrill seeking behavior) until I hit the open road and find out that there is no speed limit here and people drive 100 mph and it must be legal to kill tourists on motorcycles. My thrill ride does not last long as I turn around and return the rental an hour into my half day rental losing money. ( Is that a collapsed narcissist? Am I now covert? lol)
So… anyone else accidentally find themselves being a narc?
Oh ….and could it be I somehow got legally married under Turkish law?
🙂
Haha!! Great stories Mrs Contagious!!! Thanks for sharing!!
In Episode 12 of Isla’s podcast, Vaknin, in his usual all-knowing tone, says:
“What the abuser does, and especially the narcissist, he takes away control from the victim. He takes away the victim’s control over the victim’s life.”
Also, Isla says in reference to the way victims appear to make irrational decisions: “Sam explains this better than the victims. He is in complete control.”
Actually, NO, THIS IS NOT TRUE. The narcissist IS NOT in complete control.
The ‘control’ rests inside the target’s mind. It always has and it’s still there.
The only problem is that this ‘control’ inside the target’s mind has been abused.
The control the target has is cognitive dissonance. The cognitive dissonance is completely inside the target’s mind. It is for the target to own and operate.
Cognitive dissonance is a powerful thing. It can help us or it can harm us.
The difference lies in awareness of what is happening – the awareness that choices need to be made. Before a choices is made, it must be clear. It must be defined and made with intention.
If I may, WN, there are two elements to this control.
There is the control that the narcissist “sees” over the victim. This may be direct, indirect or through withdrawal. The latter two are in effect an artifice where there is no actual control over the victim but the narcissist has a sense of subconscious control over the victim and thus achieves the most important aspect of the prime aims. Accordingly, from the narcissist´s perspective the narcissist does have total control.
The other control is the application of the aforementioned direct control whereby this is taking control away from the victim, however, it may only be in an instant (in the moment) to be effective. However, the victim may no longer be on the narcissist´s radar, therefore the issues of control to the narcissist is not applicable and therefore the victim will also not be under the narcissist´s control.
Hello HG,
Your comment here about ‘control’ is totally focused on the narcissist as a separate individual and the narcissist’s mind and thinking.
I understand what you’re saying about the narcissist as an individual and the narcissist’s sense of control.
In my comment above, I was focused on the target as a separate individual and the target’s mind and thinking.
Hi all,
There’s an extra episode of Isla’s podcast that dropped today. It goes into much more detail (through one victim’s story) about the “therapy” that Vaknin engaged in with one of his clients.
Here’s the link:
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/ep-10-the-storyteller-narcissists-playbook/id1482159580?i=1000786456148
Hi 1WC,
I’m listening to episode 13 now. Grannon’s comment that Vaknin was the only one putting out original content, pissed me off. He obviously hasn’t found Mr. Tutor. Not only is Mr. Tudor’s content original, its also accurate.
Side note: I’m doing laundry while I listen too, lol!
That is Grannon kissing the backside of Vaknin with that comment – he has leeched off Vaknin for years.
HG and Leigh,
When Grannon said that Vaknin is the only one putting out original content, he emphasised it and said it more than once as though he was making the point exaggeratedly.
I think he has definitely found HG’s work and he knows very well that HG’s work is original.
He can’t handle the truth and needs to rewrite history. I think he was giving HG an absent silent treatment by saying that.
Rather than be pissed off, I think it’s a good sign because it means HG is getting to him.
Hmm. That’s very interesting! Granny also made a comment that he doesn’t listen to others because he has no need to.
Is Granny trying to nullifying the threat to control that Mr. Tudor poses?
I hadn’t thought of that!
His comment was also likely a lie.
Hi Leigh,
I am up to episode 18 now.
Much of what Grannon says, I just take with a grain of salt. It annoys me just how much he is in there – involved with the victims, involved in the meetings with Vicente and Traquair – like a dirty sock! (Speaking of laundry.)
Grannon is even an “ambassador” for the support network they offer for victims of narcissistic abuse: STAR network.
Episode 18 is pretty good because Isla interviews Ian Walker, the director of I Psychopath.
Hi 1WC,
I found it enjoyable to listen to Episode 18. I think this was mainly because Ian Walker is frank and down-to-earth, and his account of his experiences during and after working with Vaknin was honest. The added details about the documentary were interesting too.
Hi 1WC,
I finished episode 18 as well. She was cranking out the videos there for a minute.
I liked Ian Walker. He seemed genuine to me. Unlike Grannon.
I lost all respect for Grannon once I heard him speak about Jane. I agree with Mari. He’s using honesty to remove culpability for his actions. He’s doing exactly what Vaknin does. I wonder if Isla picked up on that.
Hello Leigh and fellow empath dear ones:
Sam calls Isla a narc, disheveled, bloated, unethical etc… she is empathy at her finest. She is an obvious carrier, contagion as she cries when they cry and my guess savior with some super thrown in. What do you think ladies?
Hey Contagious, need to respond below Leigh, as no reply option.
What a charmer SV is!
I’ve also been considering what kind of empath Isla might be. I agree she clearly is one. I’d have a guess at enough Super to do the job she does, including telly? I’d agree Contagion as well, to some degree. Saviour for sure! Could there be an element of martyr? The way she’s taken this task on with SV’s ‘clients’ is above and beyond, emotionally, in my opinion. Like it’s her duty to do this, no matter how it affects her. To me, that’s toward martyr-energy because of how much it affected her, but I am totally open to discussion because I can not say for sure.
WiserNow & Leigh,
I enjoyed Isla`s discussion with Ian Walker as well. It was interesting to hear him reflect back on the making of I, Psychopath. He also had some interesting commentary on SV`s wife, Lidija.
At the same time, he seemed a little hesitant to revisit the past, given his experience with Vaknin, and he seems, wisely, to mostly refrain from reliving the past and talking about SV.
I agree with the opinion that Isla appears to be an empath.
Mari – I see a bit of the Martyr aspect as well, in taking this all upon herself, to her detriment.
Could there be some Magnet as well? People seem to open up easily to her.
Ugh! I’m never good at guessing, lol. I definitely see savior. I also think there must be some geyser too. Between the combination of contagion & geyser, I wonder if she not only felt Ann’s pain but the geyser caused her to cry herself.
Hi Leigh,
“Between the combination of contagion & geyser, I wonder if she not only felt Ann’s pain but the geyser caused her to cry herself.”
I can understand the possible Contagion aspect of Isla, but I had have to say that I would be hesitant to guess that she has Geyser.
This is due to some things she has stated (that you may or may not have encountered in your viewings/listenings). Isla stated that she rarely cries, and she was surprised at herself and caught off guard when she cried as a result of witnessing Ann’s experience. So, I tend to think she may stuff her emotions more than a Geyser would – or that her professional skill set has enabled her to park her emotions for the time being. Additionally, she refrained from getting to know more of the victims and their stories before pursuing the the confrontation interview with SV. She said that she would start to care too much/or be to emotionally involved and consequently might give herself away in the interview.
Also, during the confrontation with Vaknin (even though she said her heart was beating through her chest), and some people appeared to hear a quaver in her voice – her poker face was spot on…her facial expression did not give anything away. I feel like, given some of the Geyser empaths I know, that they would find it difficult to keep their emotions from showing on their face.
Hi Contagious,
Considering Isla, I’d say she is definitely an empath.
When it comes to her schools, to me, in addition to Standard, she has strong Super traits. This is because of her profession, which would require confidence and showmanship. I also think there is a significant element of Super because she works independently to make podcasts aimed at bringing justice to those who have been harmed. She is ambitious, determined, and resilient.
I think Isla may also have Contagion to a lesser degree because she can easily put herself in someone else’s shoes when listening to another’s experiences.
Considering Isla’s cadres, I’d say she has a combination of all the cadres. I can see savior, carrier, geyser, magnet, and martyr. To me, the strongest of these are savior and geyser.
Hi 1WC,
I don’t cry either and I’m a third of my makeup is Geyser. My empath daughter doesn’t cry and she’s even higher in geyser. Anger and laughter are high for both of us. We tend to be loud & bit over the top too. We can be dramatic. Lol!
I think my geyser is kept in balance by my carrier. I can be stoic too. I’ve been told I’m cold.
What you say makes sense though. It was Ann’s emotions that she was feeling and thats what caused an emotional reaction. It wasn’t necessarily her geyser.
She was even-keeled even when she was angry.
Lol! I told you I wasn’t good at guessing these things! I gotta go back to Tudor University.
Leigh,
“I don’t cry either and I’m a third of my makeup is Geyser. My empath daughter doesn’t cry and she’s even higher in geyser. Anger and laughter are high for both of us. We tend to be loud & bit over the top too. We can be dramatic.”
Thanks for sharing. That is interesting to consider.
It makes sense that there could be different variations on Geyser traits – perhaps certain Geysers fountain with fuel more only in relation to certain emotions? Or, as in your case , the Carrier can take center stage and keep the emotions in check..?
I was going on observations of Geyser traits in irl empaths that I know.
Both cry easily, both have high anger, both need to say what’s on their mind – or it’s like they will burst. One of them (a former coworker) knows this and says she really should get herself one of those shirts that say: “If my mouth doesn’t say it, my face definitely will.”
Both can also be very cheery and happy for you when you share good news and, similar to you and your daughter, both laugh easily and can be loud.
One of them (confirmed empath through EDC) cannot understand how I get through life without waterproof eye makeup. Once I said I didn’t like it because it’s harsh to remove…she just shook her head, muttering how she did not know how *anyone* can do without waterproof eye makeup. But, I don’t have the same issues as her. I definitely don’t cry often (even my son has noted this), but I am majority Carrier.
Hi 1WC,
“…both need to say what’s on their mind – or it’s like they will burst.”
That made me chuckle! As you can see on the blog, that’s me to a tee! On a more serious note, I feel like its my geyser that gives me my voice. Maybe that’s true for Isla too.
“Truthful people tend to use less detail.”
I wonder if there’s some aspect of my empathy that causes me to stress details in an effort to be completely honest. People have commented that I have a high attention to details and to pointing out things others don’t notice. For me, because I like and value details, when I’m explaining or recounting something to someone I try to be as detailed as possible out of respect for the other person. I want them to have all the information. It’s also because I tend to be worried that I’m in trouble all the time and old habits die hard. But, considering your point I can see how in wanting to be honest and thorough I might come off as shifty! Maybe it’s a perversion of the truth seeking trait.
Next time I get arrested and brought in for questioning, I’ll be cool.
Hi Allison,
I think there are lots of reasons why people give additional detail and in some ways whilst I believe overall that the study is true, it’s also possibly misleading.
If we take blog comments as an example, empaths are often wordy. Wordy can often refer to additional or even superfluous detail. It isn’t superfluous to the person writing the comment though. Comments will be long for a reason. It might be as in your example, the expectation of being in trouble / being perceived negatively. That points to a past where words and actions were twisted so that the empath was repeatedly painted as problematic, the ‘bad’ one etc.
If you asked me to explain how something feels, you will likely get a whole string of metaphors. Words don’t cut it, I visualise a lot so Im trying to paint you a picture. I am detailed also because I want people to understand. I find people in general ‘don’t get it’ so the expectation is that people won’t see things as I do. They very rarely feel things as I do. I try to bridge the gap in advance. Sometimes I can’t be bothered. When I’m less wordy, I’ve given up, already left the room.
I like detail from others because I like to understand.
In terms of the study, I think if we looked at it in terms of the detail, the important part would be detail placement. Less to do with explaining, more to do with embellishment, self aggrandisement, deflection and so on. I don’t know if the study tracked where the additional detail occurred, or if it simply recorded overall detail used by liars versus non liars.
I agree. Next time you are brought in, be cool. Short sentences, no over explaining!
Hi TS–
I’ve wondered how I might use text mining to approach communications of narcissists. I’d be curious to see what topic models might uncover. Then compare that to normals and empaths. Further sentiment analysis and emotion detection within unstructured text would be interesting. I think it would be fascinating to approach a large corpus of written communication of each and create visualizations of the emotions detected.
I’d be curious to see if the analysis could pick up whether the differences in cognitive empathy and emotional empathy are evident in written language. I think a narcissist would be a good test of what sentiment analysis is actually doing as in does it measure what it intends to measure, and what the relationship between emotions detected in text might be to a facade for example.
The assumption is that the emotional tone of a text correlates to the emotions of the writer, but does that assumption fail with certain narcissists? Is sentiment analysis sophisticated enough to detect a facade? Would it be more accurate in terms of Lesser narcissists? Where might certain schools and cadres cluster in terms of a positive/neutral/negative breakdown and then into further categories of emotions? I’ll have to check out any prior work in this.
Don’t neglect to put money on my books while I’m confined, TS. I like delicacies.
Hi Allison,
“Truthful people tend to use less detail.” – Its the total opposite for me. I like the minutiae. I want to know every detail so I share every detail as well. When I want to hide something or not be 100% truthful, I actually withhold details. I’ll give you just enough information so it sounds like the truth but I’m actually omitting an important detail. Its done to protect myself. I’ve learned to not trust people and so I keep important details to myself so it can’t be held against me. I wonder how I would score in the study.
Hi Leigh. I guess it’s true we empaths need to protect our soft underbellies. I have to keep in mind that details can be weaponized against me. Even if I limit the details coming across my tongue the sharpest predators can still see me. I feel more confident now that my eyes have been opened here. There are lots of wolves masquerading as sheep out there but I’m catching on. I’ve got to keep to different pastures as I’m so languid and tasty.
Its very true, Allison. The predators can see & smell us from a mile away. Luckily I haven’t attracted any new ones. I just try to keep myself small.
How are your studies going? That’s gotta be quite a hunting ground?
Wow, you sound lush Allison and I’m a straight as a die empath! Hahaha. Come to mummy. Oops.
Hi, Mari. Oops indeed. I’ll be your favorite mistake.
Hi Allison, I agree looking at emotion, emotional empathy and cognitive empathy in speech and text would be quite fascinating and likely quite revealing.
I listened to this a couple of years ago. It refers to psychopaths rather than narcissists but the idea is what you are hypothesising here. This was ten years ago, I would imagine that the language models are now vastly superior to how they were then. Interesting listening for a rainy day, though I wish it had included some clear examples.
I’ll bring you hand cream as your first luxury item. There’s no excuse for man hands!
https://youtu.be/6vF5PtdiiCo?is=3l61KWNq6Ltyl9B7
Thank you for the link, TS. Don’t forget the silk gloves. I have to really soak it in. Or else I get the hose again.
You’re welcome Allison.
Something tells me you have played the role of prisoner before!
Hi, TS. Played the prisoner, have played, and would do again. It’s restorative. And I like having something to do with my wrists.
Hi Allison,
“It’s restorative.” Honestly? Sometimes I would be happy to play prisoner too just to catch a break for a couple of days.
Ah, now as to the wrists, I have my own quirk about wrists. I’ll leave that there I think!
Did someone write they’re happy to play prisoner? (Jangles keys to cell, checks handcuffs)
Yes that was Allison. She’s really great in the role apparently, has the long silky gloves and everything!
HG
I am not familiar with SV’s wife. Has she been confirmed a non narcissist?
I have not analysed her. I don’t pay either of them much attention, it has only increased recently as a consequence of Isla Traquair’s request of me.
Hello HG:
I hope you have an informative and well thought out discussion with Isla. Many would be my hope. That is my hope.
Personally I would like to see Sam in Rikers or one of our violent soooooo overcrowded prisons that the federal government had to sue the State of California …. For the safety of future victims ……of course:)
NA
Another question worthy of consideration. What is 🚩 Mark Vicente? 🚩
i considered the same question, when i took a peek at him weeks ago! 😀 I haven’t delved enough yet. I possibly never will 😀
Hi Mari,
I did a cursory delve. I found what he did within and post departure from NXIVM to be particularly interesting, especially if you contrast this with Doug Kramer’s time in and departure from Scientology.
LOCE during childhood with Vicente’s father described as a ‘spy’.
https://youtu.be/FOg0Ewh3dow?is=y2DV-awBXINUeVUa
Vicente shimmied his way all the way up the greasy pole to NXIUM’s inner circle. Cult structure does tend to feature a ‘special’ kind of person in the higher ranks. Raniere even arranged and wrote the vows for Vicente’s second marriage to his current wife. Strangely, information about his first wife seems to be difficult to find.
Mr Vicente is quite the interesting character it seems.
Hello Truthseeker, thank you for sharing the cursory delve. I’ll have another watch of the Espionage vid, I enjoyed it the first time, warrants another listen.
When I first checked MV out, it was a small excerpt of him on a swish podcast. I seem to remember the host looked a bit like him, but can’t find it now. MV said his dad was Portuguese and it seems he was not an easy chap to be around. I may progress my pre-delve, do a recky.
Mari,
Ooh yes, do a recky. I’d be really interested to know what you find. 🙂
I think if we want to understand this whole documentary ‘plot twist’, then we first need to know what category each of the key players falls into.
Dear Truthseeker, it’s me again.
I have delved just a tiny bit more, by way of MV’s website. I’ve read a couple of his ‘Yer Honour’ transcripts of what he said in court re: NXyerMumVBobbins cult members. Have lined up his 57min doc about ‘Insta@Guru’ – aka Benthino Massaro – but I’m not sure I’ll make time for it. That’s about another cult leader-type.
I think your comparison between MV and dear Doug Kramer is worth noting. There is a remarkable difference between them, it seems to me. OK, they are two different personalities, but in Doug I feel the realness, the heart, the humility, the fire to make reparations, learn more from HG, ‘pay it forward’ etc. It seems MV is much slicker and more self centred in his contributions. A fair bit of ‘I, me, me, I’.
I also get more victim energy in his prose, than I got from Doug.
MV joined that cult in 2004 which made him 39 I think.
That’s rather late in life! Interesting…Although, if he’d had some personal issues it’s possible he was susceptible at that age. I don’t yet know how it all transpired.
If his pa was a ‘spy’, I wonder if he’s one as well and he infiltrated! I know, I know, I’m jumping the gun. I guess he’d be more underground if he was. Or maybe not! Either way, I have my eyebrow raised. Well, I would if I could raise one eyebrow.
Hi Me Again,
“ It seems MV is slicker and more self centred in his contributions.”
I agree. Doug, years after leaving Scientology was still self analysing, still shocked and self critical (overly self critical in my view) about how he got sucked in and why he remained. There was still confusion, he wanted to learn from HG, he didn’t portray himself as an expert, he told his story honestly, warts and all. He wasn’t proud of himself for escaping, he was disappointed with himself for being sucked in. He displayed a wide array of genuine emotion but above all he was willing to explore his own part in it. In short he took responsibility for his own actions. He wasn’t using his experience for personal gain. He was still in process of recovery. Doug was a warm, compassionate and genuinely good man.
I don’t see any of this from Vicente. It feels very like he is reciting from a script. He knows the words, but I don’t feel any genuine emotion behind the words.
A lot of information about Vicente is contained within podcasts, and YouTube interviews. I find him incredibly difficult to listen to, he grates on me to such an extent that I can’t face listening to them. I agree, too self centred. I also find him self congratulatory and too self promoting as a supposed expert. I have found some interesting information through articles and searches though, so I’ll summarise that in a separate comment.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts Mari.
Dear TS and HG,
Dirty delving has not taken place (ie, digging into the dirt, not pervy stuff.)
However, I have watched Part 1 of Vicente’s Inst@guru – Bentinho Massaro documentary, and I’m glad I did. I’ll provide the link below, in case anyone – including HG – feels drawn to investigate the man Bentinho’s moves. A classic cult-leader narc, it seems to me. I’m mainly watching it for a partial recky of MV’s personality.
Not only does the documentary give scope to observe Vicente, but it’s also interesting to hear the experiences of various insiders who were involved with Bentinho. Vicente speaks to one person per video, so I’ll continue to watch the subsequent parts. The first guest is a lovely Canadian called Jacqueline Graham.
She and MV have been friends for years, and Mark V comes across well, to me. In this role of listener and ‘host’, he seems genuinely receptive, empathic and interested. I don’t pick up false or dodgy-narc vibes, but of course this does not mean I’m correct overall.
I sense a steely centre in him, along with a keen mind, but he doesn’t appear to lack understanding or warmth. He obviously has a desire to share other people’s experiences, rather than simply his own. As you said, TS, he could well be an interesting character.
One thing he mentions is *how* seekers can fall foul of false gurus despite being highly intelligent and successful – which is what he says happened to him. Searching for answers to the mysteries of life, trying to understand more, grow, evolve, etc., could perhaps partly explain how he became involved with a cult later in life.
Here’s the link to the first part:
Inst@guru Part 1 – Jacqueline (Mark Vicente doc)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HuUinpua54
HG, thanks ever so much for hosting my splurges this week.
Hi Mari,
As promised. This is going to be lengthy I’m afraid but I’ll summarise as best I can.
MV was a high ranking leader, recruiter and filmmaker for NXIVM. He served in Keith Raniere’s inner circle for over a decade. While he was never criminally charged and later became a key whistleblower, his position meant he actively enforced NXVIM’s high control systems; leading many former members and critics to view his past behaviour as psychologically abusive and manipulative.
His Role.
After joining NXIVM in 2005 MV rapidly climbed the ranks to become a Senior Proctor. His primary responsibilities included:
1. Recruitment. He used his filmmaker status to attract wealthy creatives, artists and actors into the group.
2. Media production. He directed promotional videos, filmed Raniere’s lectures and generated propaganda to legitimise the group.
3. He taught the Executive Success Programs and helped run the Society of Protectors (SOP), an all male group meant to instil Raniere’s philosophies on discipline and gender roles.
MV was not accused of physical or sexual abuse and he was excluded from DOS ( the master slave sorority where women were branded, starving themselves etc.) However, as a top leader, he actively practiced and weaponised NXVIM’s psychological framework against lower ranking members.
Former members highlight that he engaged in the following behaviours:
1. Systematic Gaslighting. Vicente taught students that any negative emotions or criticisms they had about NXVIM were actually reflections of their own inner issues or bad intent.
2. SOP Hazing and humiliation. MV oversaw sessions that involved psychological hazing, intense penance (enforced physical positions such as planks or wall sits) and public humiliation to force submission. (Students were forced to wear things like children’s fairy wings or jock straps over their normal clothes during NXVIM events to visually mark their shame.)
SOP members were required to be on constant high alert (hyper vigilance) and were subject to random middle of the night check ins and emergency drills to disrupt normal schedules (sleep deprivation) and foster compliance.
3. Silencing Dissent. For years he defended Raniere and labelled outsiders or defectors who tried to warn people as “suppressive” or “ destructive”.
Members were regularly forced into line ups where they were aggressively questioned, yelled at, or made to confess deeply personal failures in front of the group. If a member showed resistance it was framed as a structural character defect that required harsher discipline.
Coercive Control in NXVIM.
Within NXVIM collateral was the ultimate weapon. The concept of collateral was normalised in the SOP. Members were required to hand over deeply damaging private material as a “pledge of commitment “ before being allowed to advance in rank. Types of collateral included.
1. Graphic and nude photos / videos.
2. Financial and asset control. Lower ranking members were often required to hand over asset deeds, full bank account log in information or substantial sums of money just to join the SOP.
If a member threatened to leave, refused an order from a master, or threatened to go to the press or police, leadership explicitly threatened to release their collateral. It served as a form of blackmail that kept SOP victims trapped in silence, forced labour, and psychological abuse.
What is clear, is that as leader of the SOP, MV was a doer, not the done to. We can debate the fact that MV was a victim and in Raniere’s thrall, but this does not excuse the fact that despite not being prosecuted like other high ranking members (because he was not part of the prosecution focus which was the DOS sorority) MV was also abusive to other (mostly male) NXIVM members.
MV’s wife Bonnie Piesse left NXIVM in 2017. Bonnie joined the dots first as she observed several women starving themselves and becoming mentally unwell. She later discovered the branding rituals and Raniere’s sexual exploitation. MV did not believe his wife. He attempted to dismiss her suspicions and it placed strain on their marriage when she left NXIVM first in 2017. She persisted and eventually MV was persuaded, leaving several months after his wife. Interestingly, around the same time NXIVM was starting to receive negative press about it being a pyramid scheme employing fraudulent practices. As part of the inner circle MV would have been aware of this. Allegedly the FBI only looked at NXIVM for fraud post MV’s departure but it does beg the question as to the true motivation behind MV’s departure. He was in the inner circle and privy to sensitive information after all.
My issue is less to do with what he did whilst in NXIVM for over a decade. He did abuse SOP members he was responsible for, but, it could be argued that MV was himself brainwashed by Raniere.
My issue is what he did after leaving. He provided the FBI with his video footage, ok, this could have been an attempt to make amends. It might also have helped MV to avoid prosecution himself.
He then immediately started work on his documentary the Vow which aired on HBO. I find that odd. If a person wakes up to the fact they have been in a cult, that they have physically and psychologically abused other members of that cult, that takes some reconciling. The guilt would be overwhelming. MV reconciles his guilt by selling his documentary to HBO.
I have not seen any interview where MV addresses or attempts to take any responsibility for his own behaviour in NXIVM. Quite the opposite, he paints himself only as a victim of Raniere. Maybe he does address it honestly and genuinely and I just haven’t found the information, but he certainly doesn’t seem damaged or haunted by his time in NXIVM. When I compare that to Doug’s reaction years after leaving Scientology, someone who did not abuse others during his time in the cult, MV’s behaviour is remarkably ‘different’.
This is not to suggest that MV is a narcissist. I have no idea what he is. It’s simply to provide some background and highlight a few of the red flags I found.
Thank you for the link to the documentary Mari, I might hold my iPad at arms length and squint watch an episode! I have seen MV in an interviewing role previously. In fairness he irritates me far less as interviewer than interviewee.
HG
I would be interested in an article, or series to help with being better able to distinguish between an actual victim and a victim narcissist if you think it would be of sufficient benefit to your audience, and of course, if time allows. Thank you in advance for your consideration.
NA
Thank you for the suggestion NA.
Dear Truth Seeker,
Wow! Thank you for your replies, what stellar insight and information.
I have read and absorbed it all.
Yes ,I think it could be safe to say MV is not the same ilk as Doug. I was aware I might have been somewhat taken in by his minimal ‘warmth and empathy’ persona on the Inst@Guru doc. It might be there somewhat, but as I said, there seems to be a steely core that might not allow him full empathic realness.
I mean, you’ve come up with clear facts.
Could he realistically have been an agent-infiltrator of the cult and his HBO speed deal, might have been down to prior ‘gonnegtions’? Something doesn’t smell quite right, does it?
Same as you, couldn’t even listen to that initial podcast I found him on.
I was mildly intrigued by the contrast when hosting/interviewing.
I am not sure you’d get a whole lot from squint-watching insta@guru, TS, but I trust you can make your own mind up about that quickly enough 😀
To enter a cult at 39 and do the fast track to a sadistic inner circle…eyebrow raised if I could raise it.
This bit:
“What is clear, is that as leader of the SOP, MV was a doer, not the done to. We can debate the fact that MV was a victim and in Raniere’s thrall, but this does not excuse the fact that despite not being prosecuted like other high ranking members (because he was not part of the prosecution focus which was the DOS sorority) MV was also abusive to other (mostly male) NXIVM members. ”
Absolutely.
In his court transcript thing, he was putting himself in the same light as his wife. The trauma she AND he endured, but that did not quite sit right either. That was supposed to be a statement about his wife’s experience.
Addition and correction. MV did not direct The Vow. He supplied his personal and archival video footage and was a central character in the Vow. Jehane Noujaim and Karin Namer were the directors.
Hi Mari,
No, something doesn’t smell right. MV was described by other cult members as Raniere’s “only male friend”. MV has himself said he refused Raniere’s direction on occasion, spoke to him almost every day and told him that considering the program was supposed to lead to happiness, members sure looked miserable. It certainly looks like MV held a confidante status for Raniere. I find it hard to believe that MV was as unaware of the fraud and abuse as he makes out. I see him less as an undercover infiltrator and more someone who saw which way the wind was blowing and struck a deal with his video footage to cover his own back. The proverbial silk purse from a sow’s ear.
I added a correction. My assumption was that the Vow was his documentary, it wasn’t when I double checked. The rate that he references it gave me the impression that he was director. Not so. Also, his views about Allison Mack seem somewhat hypocritical given his own role in NXIVM. (Spelt correctly, finally, bonus points!)
In terms of warmth and empathy. He can portray warmth on occasion I think. I wouldn’t like to classify him at this point. I’d need to fight my way through more footage. What I would suggest is that Mark Vicente looks after Mark Vicente. That’s not a shoe in for narcissist in my view. Narcissistic would look very similar in that respect.
Glad you found the background info helpful Mari.
Hello Mari and TS,
(To TS, I know you have a ‘no contact’ policy when it comes to my comments. Please note that I don’t have the same personal stance with regard to you.)
Just a comment to say something about MV.
I’ve listened to a YT video which is an interview between MV and Dr Ingrid Clayton. The interview is about the fawning response. The title of the video is: The 4th “F” (FAWNING) with Dr. Ingrid Clayton.
During the interview, MV says some interesting things about himself and his life before he became involved in the NXIVM cult.
He says that he had developed a tendency to fawn because his stepfather was abusive towards him when he was a young child.
He explains that initially, when he was a young child, he would adopt a ‘fight’ response with his stepfather and he would aggressively react to him.
This fight response changed to a fawn response when MV realised that fawning was more likely to result in him being ‘liked’ or treated well by his stepfather.
MV explained that he spent much of his childhood in a boarding school. During this time, he was a model student and wanted to study all the time in order to be good at everything and ace all of the things he was studying.
He said that when he became a filmmaker, he was striving to make a name for himself. He had intentions to make ‘socially responsible’ documentaries that would help people and change the world for the better.
Then, he began to receive praise and accolades for the work he was doing with regard to making films.
At this point, he says, he first became acquainted with NXIVM although he had no idea it was a cult. He just had the opportunity to do some filmmaking work within NXIVM.
In the interview, he says that, at this point in time, he was riding a kind of wave where he was receiving praise and accolades and it felt like working for NXIVM was an extension of this praise.
He explains that, at that crossroad:
a) he was excited to be working in a way that was positive for his career;
b) he was becoming involved within a group dynamic with people he felt a closeness and affinity with; and
c) his own fawning tendencies made him blind to, and accepting of, some of the strange and deceptive manipulations going on around him.
The interview with Ingrid Clayton is interesting and it explains the subconscious instinct to fawn as a result of early family dynamics very well.
Dear TS, thank you for your latest reply and more insights. I agree that we can not shoehorn narcissist in at this stage 😀 Some high narcissistic traits would be likely, I reckon. P’raps he’s a norm. I’ll keep an eye open for further developments of findings on the back of Narc’s Playbook.
Hi Mari,
I agree MV is worth watching as the project progresses, particularly in light of the fact that he was managing the victims in conjunction with Grannon who himself was a member of their WhatsApp group. (A group that Anna described as “competitive”.)
Another point to consider is that thanks to his own grandiosity and delusion, Vaknin believed he could treat narcissists in terms of behaviour modification through his cold therapy. Cold therapy is by its very nature abusive, it involves re traumatising the narcissist and assuming a controlling parental role as part of that process. The alleged abuse took place at the height of his cold therapy seminars, which throws into question the categorisation of the victims themselves.
Vaknin described ‘Anna’ as a borderline (as per ‘Anna’s’ account) He references another of the victims as being unboundaried as he is unboundaried. Anna states he misdiagnosed her as a borderline (either a narcissist or someone suffering with CPTSD as per HG’s definition of borderline) and that she was willing to take any test to prove she wasn’t a borderline. Was willing to take, not, has taken.
Either way, whatever the victim classification might be, the fact that Sam Vaknin was utilising cold therapy on them signifies abuse. The evidence also appears to support abuse. The question then becomes if Vaknin’s cold therapy was a delusion generated by his narcissism where he believed he was justified in abusing the victims as part of their treatment, or, if he drew them in under the guise of promising treatment via cold therapy, but then abused them in line with his own requirement for the Prime Aims, fully aware that they were not narcissists and he was not offering treatment.
If he is an unaware narcissist, he is acting in the moment with at best, very limited planning. It is evident that he is highly grandiose particularly in terms of his own intelligence. Whilst demonstrating sadistic traits, he is certainly not the Machiavellian psychopathic narcissist that the movie and associated experts would have us believe. But then, they wouldn’t know that because the key advisors to the movie makers are themselves, unaware narcissists!
The thing that I also find concerning, is that potentially, these women (whatever their classification) have first been abused by Vaknin, then manipulated by Grannon, and further exploited by Mark Vicente for the purposes of saving then promoting his own documentary. It would be interesting to know if ‘Anna’ was evaluated to ascertain if she was mentally stable enough to deal with the possible criticism, examination and feedback that she might receive as a result of publicising her story to this degree, not to mention the smearing that would be undertaken by Vaknin himself. I would question whether MV even paused to consider that aspect. Grannon certainly wouldn’t.
Hello WiserNow, the thread’s getting messy for replying, so I’m hoping you’ll see this. Thanks very much for your input regarding MV’s history, it seems to fit some pieces into the puzzle. I can better grasp some of the nuances that might have led to cult lyfe at 39. If you’ve been abused like that, there’s going to be personality quirks and blind spots somewhere. I’d heard briefly that his father spoke Portuguese and was abusive. Perhaps that’s his stepfather then. Thanks again!
Hi Mari,
Thank you for your comment, and you’re welcome too.
TS, WN and Mari:
I have enjoyed your analysis of MV tremendously. For me, decades around LA, there are lots of MVs or ambitious filmmakers who want funding and distribution deals. No one puts their own money into a film… except well Mel Gibson with The Passion. And if it doesn’t get picked up, it will die.
MV had the skills when he entered the cult, they used his skills. And MV saw a good opportunity to do a documentary. I don’t know how Grannon found him but it is obvious Grannon found MV probably after seeing his documentary and Grannon had the women and their evidence…. Then they found Isla. MV gets another opportunity for a hit piece as his first in Rainer went well.
Now one must ask yourself how smart is Vatnim? What are MV creds? The documentary was a hit piece on Raniere and the cult and it got exposure. What else did MV do? MV did well and got a platform and followers from the cult film. I mean if I was called by MV and saw his work, I might be hesitant especially if my angry ex partner is attached to the project. That will be the problem for MV and Isla moving forward with these type of projects…. Some won’t get involved or be interviewed in the future.
I don’t know a lot about MV but Wisernow listing of his participation in the cult was educational… very. But I look at him like many around Hollywood… a man in the industry trying to make his mark. Does he care about the survivors… he seems too but his overriding goal is getting funding and distribution for his film. Ambition. Hollywood is big business. Show business. It’s a deal MV wants.
So far no bites. I read that attaching Racheal Wood is an issue as Marilyn Manson might sue him but I don’t know why he isn’t getting NP picked up. There could be many reasons….i am sure it has been tossed around town and so far no takers…. With all the internet followers like with HG, and others, you would think Netflix or someone would buy it so there must be a liability risk like a Manson lawsuit. ????
But that will be the frustration … narcissism blog followers will know but not others without a more mainstream distribution deal. Which means in time, this might become a stain like Grannons attempts against Sam. I am perplexed most at the psychology board in Macedonia and then there is the 3 open police cases, etc… I don’t know anything about th and since open, unlikely will. So time will tell.
Have you watched the documentary “I Psychopath”, NA? I watched it back in 2022 while I was on a quest for answers after a traumatic life event (obviously prior to discovering HG’s work). I just checked, and it’s still on YouTube. The video is called “My Life As A Psychopath”. I won’t give anything away, but I suspect you will find the answer to what they both are – and what they are not – there. I have my opinion, but it would be interesting to hear your thoughts if you choose to watch it.
Hi Scandi.
I have not watched I Psychopath but it is now on my list. Thank you.
Holy shit Scandinavia and Everyone in Tudor land:
I just saw an old interview of Sam Vaknim. I sent it to Isla. I don’t know who but it was sent to me. I have been on a writing campaign so?
But 20 year old Sam compares himself to Einstein and is working on experiments to mind reading. Then he speaks about science and physics and he is on a discovery to space travel in time. 20 year old Sam quotes all these people, just like he does today.
He claimed he went to university at 9 but the Israeli journalist discusses he graduated high school at 16. He went a year early not at 9. Total lie!
Either he is a total whack job with psychosis or he was a pathological delusional lying narc as young as 20. Watch First Interview with Sam Vaknim on You tube!
This man must be stopped!
He will have been a narcissist for a decade by the time of that interview.
And Sam not only can read minds, create space time travel but he predicted the assassination of the pope with his psychic abilities. People: this is Sam age 20! Interviewed by Israel tv! Quoting himself as Einstein. Of course listing scientists to support his theories. Plus Sam said he went to college at 9! This Israeli reporter says so you graduated high school at 16!
He says he is 80% correct in his predictions
Sam lies lies and lies.
HG: it’s time, at least explain this BS
What specifically would you like me to explain?
Sorry HG, I was not clear:
Does Sam believe is a psychic with an 89% ability to predict the future ( narc delusion that he believes) or is he a snake oil salesman at 20 ( knows he is lying.)
hello NarcAngel (and HG), excuse my interjection. i had a squint at that doc with SV and wife in it, because others mentioned his behaviour. the wife scored comparatively high to SV in empathy, kindness, etc, in that psychopath test.
now, whether the test is water tight in the way HG’s detectors are, i can’t possibly say. did she fool the test with cognitive empathy in a way that is impossible for HG’s tests?
she comes across in vids as having some empathy. she isn’t someone i feel i’d like, but she doesn’t automatically give me narc hackles…
she grew up in an abusive home and learnt coping strategies with narcs, she says.
i know this does not answer your question, but it got me considering that she might be a co-D empath, or even a normal, possibly influenced in a negative way by SV.
I can imagine HG’s tolerance whiskers twitching a bit now. I guess you don’t want much more detailed stuff about him, or his Unfortunate Counterpart, on your blog, am I right, or am i second guessing? : )
It is relevant to the subject of narcissism therefore it is permissible. I will let you know when I grow bored of reading about it.
i trust that! no need for second guessing. thank you.
“He is not as aware as one first thought, is the short answer.”
Does this mean that narcissists could have varying degrees of awareness, HG? Or is it your way of saying that Vaknin is not an aware narcissist at all?
I would not place him in the categorisation of Greater as a consequence of the evidence that has come to light.
Thank you, HG, for your clarifying reply. I clearly remember you mentioned something similar a couple of years back too (that he was less aware than he liked to come across as, or words to that effect). This was obviously long before the documentary was a reality and new evidence surfaced, so I must say I’m mighty impressed by your insight.
Thank you. I’ll expand on this in due course.
Dear HG,
Thank you for doing a video about Dolly today! She was such a sweetheart of a person and did so much for other people! She will be deeply missed. I really appreciate you taking the time to acknowledge her life, the impact she made and her death. Thank you, HG! Xx
You’re welcome.
I’d like to add this caveat for clarity and context: Aside from the victim traits, I also believe SV portrays strong cerebral traits, though it may not be in the way or to the degree he would like to think and make-believe.
To keep it brief, my first impression is that his narcissism also uses the cerebral for the pursuit of the Prime Aims through the assertion of control over an audience and other people who consume his information; to gain access to a considerable fuel matrix and a fertile hunting ground for the alleged targeting and abuse of his clients; to collect and portray character traits, skills, and other qualifications that he may or may not truly possess; and to gain residual benefits. These are only my first impressions for now, as I watch how the debacle unfolds.
Moreover, I believe SV’s non-aware status does not negate or reduce the harm he has caused his alleged victims. Narcissists destroy lives, whether they are aware of their narcissism or not.
I am eager to hear what Mr Tudor will have to say about it all when he eventually does.
PS: Thank you, WhoCares, for providing that additional context about SV’s interaction with his wife during the confrontation in the documentary; I haven’t watched it, so that information helped me better understand what was happening.
Hi Isabelle,
I agree with you about Vaknin’s cerebral traits. He uses them to pursue the Prime Aims.
When he gives his long-winded answers or speeches, his main purpose is to dominate the conversation and manipulate the listeners for his own self-serving reasons.
Isabelle LaRoche,
Glad it was helpful.
“The Narcissist Who Would Be King”.
Hello to all!
If I may interject here, I’d like to share an interesting and insightful article about the Greater Narcissist, i.e. the truly ‘aware’ narcissist: https://narcsite.com/2017/04/28/the-greater-narcissist-2/
Could SV be a Greg? I think not.
From the beginning of Isla’s exposé, it was evident to me that SV may be aware of his NPD diagnosis, but is clearly not aware of the inner workings of his narcissism. He may be ‘malign’, as most narcissists usually are, but he seems to operate entirely on instinct. We are currently witnessing the ever-present collateral consequences of the sloppy, unaware narcissist catching up to him.
I was never able to listen to one of his videos despite YouTube’s harassment of my feed with suggestions to do so. Given the kinds of behaviour we are discovering that he engages in with his clients, I am glad my instinct saved me a lot of time wasted listening to him.
From what I have heard about him in this debacle so far, my first impression is that SV scores rather high in victimhood. Here’s one of HG’s breakdowns of victimhood and the narcissist that has been a good refresher for me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UEfIFu0cl88.
Although, well, he clearly views himself as a cerebral (cue: ‘Professor’), ubervillainy ‘narcissistic psychopath’. Oh dear! Here’s a good selection of renowned poems about delusion: https://www.poetrysoup.com/famous/poems/delusion.
Looking forward to your analysis of him in due course, HG.
PS: Thank you for encouraging me to comment more, Leigh. I am not sure I can because of the demands on my time at the moment, but I am reading and following, and I might drop in to say a few words when time allows.
Hello Isabelle:
Thanks for the info. Helpful! X
Scandi,
You read my mind! I was wondering if there were varying degrees of awareness too.
Mr. Tudor,
Would the “Narcissist Who Would be King” apply to Vaknin?
There are numerous examples of inconsistency and bias in the comments under this post. As a result, I can’t help having mixed feelings and conflicting thoughts.
I question the ‘wisdom’ of mentioning the following because, from experience, to say anything is likely to backfire. From experience, it tends to result in a case of ‘shooting the messenger’ rather than really listening to the message.
For the sake of democracy and ‘free speech’, I shall soldier on …
1. I find the way Sam Vaknin’s ‘intelligence’ is questioned under this post interesting.
Vaknin has written a number of books that are well-known around the world. He wrote the books in English, which is not his native language. His native language is Hebrew. He has given speeches in English and has conducted academic seminars in English.
Vaknin also has a YouTube channel where his content is in English. His prolix speaking manner is all in English.
I doubt that Vaknin writes about historical figures in psychology by misspelling their names. I don’t think his books would be known worldwide if he wrote about Sigmind Froid, Karl Young, or Jon Bolbi. He takes care not to spell these names the way they sound to him in his native language.
Yet, his wife’s name is frequently spelled incorrectly by those who wouldn’t know a word in Macedonian. It’s not Lydia or Lidia or Lidiya. In her native Macedonian language, it is Lidija.
To check the spelling of Lidija’s name, it would require a quick Google search that would take less than a minute.
So, who has the entitlement or the hubris or the carelessness in this example?
2. The ‘facade’ that Isla Traquair presented over the course of months, pretending to be genuinely interested in interviewing Sam Vaknin, is described here as ‘composure’ or ‘bravery’ or ‘having twelve pairs of balls’.
It was a deceptive facade and it looks a lot like love-bombing. It was a trap, orchestrated consciously by a group of filmmakers, to lead Vaknin into a situation where his reaction and humiliation would be filmed.
Whichever way you look at it, the plan was dishonest and self-serving, despite the underlying good intentions of protecting alleged victims from abuse.
To applaud Isla Traquair for her ‘composure’ and ‘bravery’ while denigrating Sam Vaknin for his contemptible behaviour looks a lot like hypocrisy.
3. I think it’s obvious that Sam Vaknin and his wife are in a codependent marriage. Each of them benefit from what the other brings to the relationship. One could say that it’s equally codependent.
During Isla Traquair’s podcast, it was interesting that both she and Richard Grannon spoke about Lidija in belittling terms, and both used the same words to do it, that is, words to the effect of: “Lidija piped up to say … “. When Richard Grannon was talking about Lidija’s reaction, he also mimicked her accent in an insulting way.
The way both Isla Traquair and Richard Grannon used the same words about Lidija made me think they were mirroring each other. Also, they both showed a kind of dismissive contempt towards her. In my opinion, they diminished her as though she was a child or as though her involvement was irrelevant.
This makes me think that neither of them truly care about the plight of all women in general, nor do they understand the codependency between a narcissist and a ‘victim’ from a truly well-informed or well-intentioned way.
WiserNow,
Thanks for schooling us on the various spellings of “Lidia.”
Richard Grannon is likely simply contemptuous in general.
If you follow Isla Traquair’s podcast, and Patreon platform, you might be aware that there’s further specific reasons for Isla’s contempt towards Vaknin’s wife.
Hi WhoCares,
In my comment, I made a point about the way Lidija Rangelovska’s name is often misspelled.
I wasn’t ‘schooling’ you or anyone else. I didn’t think I’d need to since all it would take to get the correct spelling is a quick Google search.
In my comment, I made other points as well based on my thoughts after I listened to Isla Traquair’s podcast. I think we all can and do make points about a lot of things.
Hi Wisernow:
I appreciate your input. I don’t know Sam’s wife. I don’t know Richard Grannon. I have no idea about his fight with Sam. I saw the movie and you might have read my feedback but it was not positive.
The allegations are that there are multiple women who have been “ treated” by Sam who held himself out as a therapist ( no license) and I saw one text where he said he was a “ medical doctor” then he slept with them and abused them. I read a few of his texts. If you want to see the evidence, I doubt she will post the pictures … she says she has 1000s…. but a few messages are there. Go to Patreon and pay 7.00. Are they authentic? Isla says she has the meta data and I doubt she would falsify evidence. I suspect you would not accuse her of being that un-professional ( and a defamation case waiting to happen). I saw a text from Sam to a patient referencing rape and the woman is interviewed saying it happened. I have not seen the police reports but I am told there are 3 police reports. since this movie, more women are calling Isla with stories that are disgusting. She says she will share their interviews. Some are too embarrassed to take action. One allegedly would suffer family consequences. Others are afraid of Sam. The report so far is 20-30. I will look at all the evidence presented but so far I have seen and heard enough texts and testimony about one victim that I find enough… for me. Texts and messages and photos are circumstantial evidence except perhaps holding yourself out as a doctor or therapist without a license. I have not seen the hard evidence of medical reports and dna etc… just a witness testimony … so far.
It’s one thing to consult like HG does. It’s another to tell a young vulnerable woman in a mental health crisis that you are a therapist and/ or a medical doctor when you are NOT. Then while in therapy have sex and abuse them. Rape is a crime.
If you have seen the evidence, the texts, the testimony then please tell me if you disagree with me and why? I respect you.
Right now, I care about the victims. The two stories I have heard involve crimes.
This is not over and I do champion Isla for helping them.
We have listened to each others stories here on this blog and often provide comfort. This is without evidence. Shouldn’t we do the same for them?
As for me, without sharing too much, I am committed to Isla and these women. I am all in.
Who knows how this will end? Time will tell. But EYES ARE WIDE OPEN and there are many working towards justice. The police. Isla. Others.
Please look at the evidence. Isla asked not to copy it and share. You must go to Patreon to see it.
Hi Contagious,
I think the allegations against Sam Vaknin are absolutely abhorrent and sickening. He should be investigated by law enforcement and the many items of ‘evidence’ that Isla Traquair has should be handed to police.
Like you, I don’t know much about Sam Vaknin or Richard Grannon, and to be honest I don’t want to find out more about them based on what I’ve seen so far.
I’ve listened to a few podcasts recently in addition to Isla Traquair’s. Some have been about true crimes, including: a case of domestic violence where police failed to investigate properly; and a case of a missing person presumed murdered whose body hadn’t been found.
In my opinion, things start to get murky when ‘evidence’ linked to an alleged crime is treated like a form of entertainment to attract an audience.
I agree with you that rape is a serious crime.
There are so many crimes and injustices everywhere, Contagious. How do we pick and choose which ones we’re going to support?
Today, here on the news, there was a case of a 16-year-old girl who had died from strangulation after she was choked during sex. It was reported that the ‘choking’ during sex was consensual. Then a spokesperson said that young people are learning about sex by watching extreme forms of porn before they are old enough to have their first kiss.
It’s craziness and it’s everywhere.
Well my dear:
You have to start somewhere, and do what you can when you can. The why this? I have no idea.
SV I guess did a video on gang stalkers. People whose whole identity is being a victim and references the #metoo movement. These victims who he calls narcissists then get flying monkeys and others in Academia and law etc… and those others are often “ “arrogant psychopaths. “ I get this from Mark Vicente talking on Islas latest podcast. Perhaps I am a psychopath lol
For me, it’s when it falls in my lap. Ie An elderly woman comes to me with a story that moves me…so I helped save her home for FREE.
Many times it’s freebies for family or friends.
When I was young, I founded a national charitable arm for abused and neglected children. It’s still going , I am not involved.
Etc… etc….
About 10 years ago, I took on a rape case of a Hollywood actor for some money but put too many hours in unpaid. I sued Germany in LA and the accuser. Germany investigated and gave him 200$ with an apology. It was all lies that this woman claimed because she was married, got pregnant by him and didn’t want to share custody. He is a good dad.
I don’t know why but I love to help. I love to see justice served.
One of my favorite things to do is see someone sad or stressed and say something kind or flattering and see them pause for a moment and smile.
And sadly, there are so many causes to join out there…. Too many choices in this crazy world. I agree with you there.
How do you pick one? For me, something stirs….I grab my sword and run… hoping to help in any small or big way I can. I always have wished I had more money and time to do more…… sigh
Wisernow:
One last thing… it’s texts. So let’s say Sam takes the position that it was a private affair. He could explain away his references at in the text I saw saying I was just role playing in a relationship… I told her I was a therapist and medical doctor just joking, it’s what we did for over the years. Texts are circumstantial evidence. Hard to convict on this basis.
But a discussion on rape. Why? Why would a person involved with another person discuss a rape? Again circumstantial evidence but less likely to be explained away.
Thus… is there any direct or hard evidence which is medical etc… . I don’t know and if there is an ongoing police investigation or three… Isla may st be careful. And it’s complicated if there might have been “ consent” and on an occasion it was forced. It used to be a husband could rape his wife. That’s changed in the USA, now you can be prosecuted for rape even if married
Hi Contagious,
As backwards as some States in the USA have become about women’s bodies and their own rights, I wouldn’t be surprised if they don’t start allowing husband’s to rape their wives again. Some States are now allowing women to die before the doctors are allowed to treat her for removal of a deceased baby. They allow her to die from infections because the doctors are afraid of being arrested for performing “abortion” on a deceased baby. Debbie Reynolds did an interview , years ago, with Joan Rivers and she talked about how she almost died because doctors refused to remove her dead baby. She had to carry the baby to full term and it almost killed her. That was years ago and now, in some States, they have brought that ridiculous law back. A doctor should never be made NOT TO TREAT A PATIENT AND SAVE THEIR LIFE. I feel and think this country has not only lost their minds, but their hearts as well. No one should be forced to carry a deceased baby. It is mentally, physically and enotionally damaging to the mother and anyone who cares about her. This craziness needs to stop! Xx
Rebecca: no words… no words… but thank you for sharing and educating me.
I had a go of I, Psychopath yesterday. I was curious about Lidija’s vibe and SV’s petulant behaviour, as mentioned here.
His first psychology/personality questionnaire revealed highest indications of shizotypal and schizoid personality, peaking at avoidant. Belinda Board, the psychologist, made a point of saying his narcissistic score was relatively low.
He kept alluding to himself as a psychopath, but it does not wash. I agree with Truthseeker and HG that he wants to be one.
As for being an ‘aware narcissist’: I think that is not entirely true. It seems he likes to wear the badge, but true inner awareness is lacking in my opinion, which means he is not as clever as he likes to think. Someone on YT saying he must be a greater narcissist, because he is aware of his narcissism. Nah. He does not have the sophistication, charisma and status, surely? I suppose he might be a mid ranger, but I would not be surprised if he was an upper lesser type B. They can be clever, charming, funny, successful enough, but unpleasant, abusive bullies. I’m not sure if his petulance and abusiveness in I,Psychopath was a genuine lack of control or if he was indulging it for a bit of fuel and drama. Ie, he has the ability to maintain some facade control, but chose not to during the filming.
I also watched a teeny clip of a vid with SV and wife: “Lidija, Why Are You Still with Sam Vaknin? (and SEX!)” Again, just to get a perfunctory recky of his wife.
In I, Psychopath, she scored quite highly in another test – I think the Hare one – on empathy and kindness, etc. So I wonder if she might be either a normal or codependent empath. She had abusive parents and learnt ‘coping strategies’, which she reportedly uses with SV.
It’s apparent he withholds sex from her. Lucky Lidija! Too busy taking it out on clients, perhaps?
I’d seen pics of Lidija and didn’t like the glint in her eyes, so if she is empathic or normal, it’s very likely she’s been twisted by her addiction to SV.
Just one more thing (am Columbo in my dreams): in this vid, he claims to be a cerebral narcissist and that he invented the term cerebral narcissist. Really?!
Ohhh Mari:
This was a great analysis. I go darker. I wonder if he has paraphilia. Is he a serial rapist? I have only seen evidence of one text regarding rape and heard two testimonies about it. I don’t know if all the police reports are about rape. Perhaps I watch too many crime documentaries but I wonder what if he uses YT to lure victims into counseling as he has a particular compulsion. If so, what Isla has done would perhaps put him in a “cooling off period “ which could be lengthy…. And given his age… maybe it’s wishful thinking he won’t do it again. That’s my concern is whatever he is, he has this compulsion.
SV would be good for a Tudor scope as would his wife but HG doesn’t seem to be interested at this time:)
My last input on I Psycho is the exam. I am not certain the test ALONE is enough. Dr Hare himself interviewed Ted Bundy for example and while Ted scored at 49? Very high. No doubt there were lots of things he investigated to make his diagnosis. Same with Sam’s wife. Isla is going to do more on her. One of the victims has a lot to say. I don’t know enough to begin to comment…
Isla Traquair described him as a serial rapist.
i wonder if he ‘invented’ that term as well as cerebral narcissist! : )
Yes I caught up and heard that and she listed his sexual sadism. Looks like my guess was on track….and who knows how long he has been doing this… since prison when he started his narcissism social media or before. All I can say is the more I learn… I image SV will face legal consequences. I am surprised SV has not yet.
Contagious! You have a good point there, regarding paraphilia. I’d go so far as to say, ‘Not ‘alf!’
What a sordid mess.
I enjoyed reading your reply. I know you’re a busy woman in the field, so I appreciate your time and informational insights.
Thanks Mari- I enjoy yours too and so many here give me insight and new thoughts. The thing about narcissism and also Machiavellianism And sadism… for me, it is always so hard to understand the WHY? With psychopathy, it can be clear… well … he wanted the money so he lied, cheated and stole. I don’t agree with how the psycho got them- murder, robbery etc… but I get it. It makes sense. Wrong but there’s logic to it.
But to want to take over someone’s mind in order to control them, to crave that sort of dependency, to spend years and multiple manipulations and methods to get it- this is what you want? WHY? Icky ick. I mean what is evil if not destroying a soul. To me, it’s what Satanism is. And WHY? And SV talks about enjoying this very process when talking to Mark Vicente… Sam said he enjoys dismantling a brain, and wanting them to kill themselves. Being able to make someone commit suicide is “the ultimate act.” WTF. I think…. isn’t that why Ted Bundy didn’t just rape them, he killed them? Sam speaks of it like it’s an aphrodisiac….Power over a brain of another. To me it’s like a zombie biting someone to make a zombie. Both roles suck. WHY? What part of any of that process would be enjoyable. Why want a dependent? A talking parrot as a companion? I would not want that…. It’s like where’s the pleasure in raping someone versus having the bliss of sex … ?
And listening to Isla’s slow paced bit by bit , inch by inch podcast, you actually see through these women’s eyes. It’s like being in a horror movie. For me, I feel them slowly falling. As I listen, I get this feeling to jump in and say STOP!!! Don’t go there! Danger!!! He is right around the corner… !!! RUN. Then, you listen and you feel them sinking in deeper and deeper… and you want to pull your hair out! No! No! No therapist asks if his wife can listen to your sessions! No! No! No business person asks you to bring large amounts of cash for a therapy session! No! No! What you bought his wife a designer purse in Paris because she asked! No!!! Why is she involved in your therapy to begin with? No! And then…. Sam cries, Sam tells his sad life stories, Sam bombards them with non-stop attention, Sam convinces them that they need him and he needs them, they are special, he is unique and special…(.its a match made in HELL. ) Sam wants to hold hands….. No! A therapist doesn’t hold hands! He wants to come to their home and meet the family! WTF? Sam is now trusted and very close …. he is good with the child. Makes funny faces! Tells the child sweet stories. The friends are impressed with his credentials! Oh! He is the best…, “ you are so lucky to know him!” He is so brilliant! They feel proud to showcase Sam as one of their inner circle.
They tell him everything a patient does tell a therapist. Deepest secrets. Deepest fears, he diagnoses them as “very very sick and to survive, they need him.” There are real problems. There are wounds. Time goes by… No! No!!! Don’t sign adoption papers! You are 35! What therapists asks to be your legal father?!!!’ No!No!!! A therapist doesn’t tell a patient that he is in love with you! What happened to the role as Daddy! Incest is best? Hell no!!! RUN!!!!’
BUT Their greatest fear is losing him from their lives as Sam is now everything. Sam is their therapist, confident, best friend, father, son….. and soon to be lover… YEARS go by…. Years…. the victim has fallen into the bear trap, the hole in the ground. The verbal and sexual abuse awaits……. The mind is in the bear trap.
And somewhere Sam in his mind hears the thud, she has landed. Sam thinks “ Gotcha” and then….. the real games begin… and that part of Isla’s horror story has just scratched the surface…. It’s just really begun. And this is just one of the cast in the show, many more to enter the story.
There are so many tricks, so many lies, so many manipulations that I didn’t or couldn’t list all of them. We know the moves by being educated by HG. We know narcissism even by classification thanks to HG. But I think Sam takes it a step further…. Not every narc goes as far. Serial rape, sadism etc… and what’s so bizarre is how many write books about it ? or take personal experiences and turn it into a lecture on YouTube? which he does. I just learned on the latest podcast Sam actually does YouTube videos on these women and his experiences with them. He sometimes gives them nicknames and says it in that episode.
Sam is unique in that sense. But not so unique… at least as far as the penal codes go… his actions fit nice and neatly into their definition.
But you must have the evidence…and the victims must have the strength to take the stand.
It’s all horrific to me. But this pace, this little by little cuts to the psyche… I feel I know what’s going on, but this slow narrative by a real victim in a real time pursuit to stop Sam. I feel it. A horror film.
Hi Contagious,
“…And listening to Isla’s slow paced bit by bit , inch by inch podcast, you actually see through these women’s eyes. It’s like being in a horror movie. For me, I feel them slowly falling. As I listen, I get this feeling to jump in and say STOP!!! Don’t go there! Danger!!! He is right around the corner… !!! RUN. Then, you listen and you feel them sinking in deeper and deeper… and you want to pull your hair out! No! No! No therapist asks if his wife can listen to your sessions! No! No! No business person asks you to bring large amounts of cash for a therapy session! No! No! What you bought his wife a designer purse in Paris because she asked! No!!! Why is she involved in your therapy to begin with? No! And then…. Sam cries, Sam tells his sad life stories, Sam bombards them with non-stop attention..”
I know the podcast episode that you’re referencing above and I agree it’s quite the journey we’re being taken on through Isla’s coverage of these events. It’s more interesting to hear from the victim (then Vaknin droning on) and learn how things developed in her ensnarement (very, very gradually, as in the majority of cases). Personally, I feel that I have been taken back, in listening to “Ann” (the name Isla calls the main victim) to much earlier in my education in narcissistic abuse and having similar reactions as yourself – but also remembering how the ways in which I was sucked in and duped (in my ensnarement) were not necessarily things that would have succeeded in deceiving others – and in turn – when I have listened to the stories of other, I know there are deceptions that they fell prey to but that I feel I would not have been susceptible to. However, every one of us had weaknesses and blind spots that were exploited and taken advantage of. Despite that, it’s interesting that Ann’s experience all took place within the confines of a supposed patient/therapist relationship – or grew, insidiously, from that.
I am listening to episode 13 at this time (while doing laundry), in which Grannon takes center stage. He recounts his childhood experiences to Isla and then how he himself has been duped by Vaknin. Ugh, I am struggling to stomach how Isla herself is taken in by Grannon’s manipulations. It is like layer upon layer of manipulation, and it will be interesting to see how well this all ages…in future revelations.
Hi Contagious,
“BUT Their greatest fear is losing him from their lives as Sam is now everything. Sam is their therapist, confident, best friend, father, son….. and soon to be lover… YEARS go by…. Years…. ”
I’ve just listened to Episode 10 of Isla’s podcast and I’m part way through the victim Ann’s account of her association with Vaknin.
While listening, I had questions.
For one thing, Ann was married with children at the time. She had people in her life who she could have turned to and who could have stepped in. She had children who depended on her. She wasn’t some poor, young, homeless or desperate waif.
This sounds like I’m victim-blaming and I’m not. Instead, I’m trying to look at the bigger picture.
Ann’s husband sounded like a supportive and generous man. After he met Vaknin, he told Ann that Vaknin was a conman and a fraud and that she shouldn’t believe him. He wasn’t taken in.
This makes me think, why didn’t Ann believe her husband and cut ties with Vaknin? And why didn’t her husband step in and insist that she no longer see him? If he thought Vaknin was a fraud, why did he allow his wife to keep getting conned and keep paying for therapy? She was spending tens of thousands of Euros. And who was looking after the children while Ann was travelling for therapy and spending her time organising events and attending them with Vaknin? Her children were young at the time.
It all sounds very strange to me even though I can understand that the abuse is very insidious and that victims do get sucked in and are susceptible to manipulation.
Also, Contagious,
“Sam tells his sad life stories … ”
In the episode of Isla’s podcast I’ve just listened to, Vaknin talks about his childhood and family history.
While listening, I thought, here we go, he’s Jason Arday 2.0.
His stories were so far-fetched, I had to pause the podcast a couple of times just to take a breath, roll my eyes, and stop myself from swearing at the computer screen.
Seriously, who in their right mind would sit listening to his ‘stories’ and believe them?
He said that by the age of 19, he was such a prodigy in his home town that there were newspaper articles written about him “every day”. He said that “broadsheet newspapers” would have full-page articles about him on a daily basis.
What were the daily full-page broadsheet articles actually about? His most recent pimple? His latest trip to the shops where he bought a pair of trainers?
I’m being sarcastic and I really don’t mean to minimise the harm Vaknin caused to victims. I do feel for them.
Part of me is also angry that Vaknin’s BS has been so easily believed.
Not by you WN, not by me and not by many others. I understand your anger however which has a sound basis.
Hi again Contagious,
I keep thinking about your comment and some of the things you have said …
“And listening to Isla’s slow paced bit by bit , inch by inch podcast, you actually see through these women’s eyes.”
On the one hand, I would say that Isla’s slow-paced podcast and Ann’s inch-by-inch account of how everything developed does make me see more clearly “through these women’s eyes”.
On the other hand, it also makes me have many more questions and I ask myself how and why Ann didn’t stop the association way sooner.
Again, this is not victim-blaming. I want to make that absolutely clear. Instead, I’m being honest about my thoughts while listening to the podcast, and I’m trying to understand.
I believe Ann’s account of things and I believe that things happened the way she says they did.
There were so many points during Ann’s account where I felt a sense of alarm and thought to myself, wow, that’s a red flag; why did she agree with that?
I thought, she sounds like a rational, intelligent woman. She was in her thirties, married, had children, and was relatively wealthy. She had friends and a social life. So why didn’t she do some research, or discuss his ‘stories’ with other people and ask questions before becoming so involved for years?
What you say Contagious, about seeing more clearly how this ‘horror film’ unfolded has a dual effect.
I believe Ann, and the details of her account do make me see more clearly … AND … her account also raises questions for me.
Crikey Moses, Contagious. I feel nauseous. I think he needs popping into the North Sea, really. What an abhorrent, idiotic mentalist and what an absolute mess. Sounds increasingly like his betrothed is an abhorrent mess as well, for whatever reason.
I’ve watched only till Ep 7, 1WC says she is on Ep 13, so I’ve just seen many more episodes have sprung up!
Hi WhoCares,
Your comment is well stated.
I agree that each person who becomes ensnared by a narcissist has their own particular susceptibilities and blind spots.
It can be difficult for other people to relate to why and how a victim became trapped when they think they would have seen the red flags and manipulations and resisted them.
I think the very gradual process has a lot to do with it.
From a narcissist’s point of view, I think they get to know a victim slowly, using small and subtle ways to test which manipulations will ‘work’. They take advantage slowly a little at a time based on how much they can get away with at each stage – that is, how much a victim is willing to agree with at certain points as the ‘ensnarement’ progresses.
Thinking about Ann’s ensnarement has reminded me of a very informative e-book I read a while back.
The book is by Sandra Brown, a researcher in relational trauma. The book is called ‘Narcissistic/Psychopathic Abuse: How Trauma Bonds and Cognitive Dissonance are Connected.’
The book delves into the way cognitive dissonance becomes chronic and persistent in the victim of a pathological relationship.
This chronic and persistent cognitive dissonance (CD) causes a traumatic attachment. The chronic CD is described as having a profound impact that results in severe dissociation that affects cognitive functioning.
The effects are physiological and they are devastating.
The e-book is available on Amazon and it’s a quick and easy read for anyone who is interested. I would recommend it to anyone affected by narcissistic or psychopathic abuse. It really helps to understand the confusing and detrimental effects on victims when they feel like they have lost a sense of who they are.
HG: so important to me about narcissism.
I saw a video by an Israel TV reporter and Sam Vatnim when he was 20! Black and white tv. And Sam goes on by saying he can mind read, he is working on time travel and his psychic abilities 80% correct at all times predicted the assassination of the pope! Age 20! This interview to me reveals that he is a total liar con artist or possibly delusional as a narc. Please reply.
Why?
My ex at 50 was given a guitar by me and paid guitar lessons by me and I said you love music, play. It was meant to be a hobby that I paid for. He hooked up after learning some with his friend Dominic who had a record deal in the 9os. Like a verbal rapper. My ex did interviews as Dominic and his band have a following and do still tour. One hit wonder group. Dominic had a gig in London and some big producer was coming.BUT…close not in ti long he gig date…I had booked a trip to Amsterdam for his 50th birthday as my ex loved weed and he lived in Cali and the UK required a medical license ( which he got but not strong enough so he bought illegally.)Anyway he wouldn’t go on his fully paid birthday trip and got angry at me saying I would never but elbows with Keith Richard’s, didn’t I know how important he was. He wasn’t even in the band. To date, he is 54 trying to be a rock star living off UK benefits. There’s a local guy in the southwest who used to work with Oasis and now just has a studio for locals. My ex puts himself up there with Oasis. It’s crazy as if he meets a celeb such as Paul Weller. All of a sudden they are friends. His social media posts are when he met a member of Motor Head at a local gig and now their friends.
He did an extra with Samual Jackson and that proved he could make a “ livable wage” as an actor.
He spends a lot of time living off UK benefits and isolating himself alone in fantasy.
My important question is I see what Sam says at 20, my ex throughout our 12 years…. And with my ex: he both believes and knows it’s BS. Somewhere inside his delusional mind he thinks he is one of the rock greats but the music industry doesn’t allow true talent anymore. No money in it. At times, he would say he knows it’s a hobby and he needs a job.
Which is it?
With Sam: is he completely delusional at 29? Or is he a con artist.
Or can there be both at times? Meaning inside they believe their uniqueness but at times cognitively they know it’s a fabrication?
My ex I stress in part from my request for a divorce had a psychotic break. I think that’s what happens in extreme cases when reality hits them.
Sam:
1. Comet 20?
2. Delusional?
3. Both?
4. We know they know their actions right from wrong. Why then could they not be aware they are lying?
My two cents: they cling to a delusion and avoid reality. It’s a choices A choice they made very young BUT they are not psychotic in the sense they do know reality but deal with it by clinging to a fantasy…?
Thanks HG
Hi Whocares:
When I saw the episode of 20 year old Sam doing a TV interview where he was “developing time travel, had an 80% accuracy rate to predict the future and predicted the assassination of the pope…” . That says it all. He is either completely delusional and believes he is HG Wells fiction but incarnate or he is a pathological liar. Snake oil salesman at 20 and entirely grandiose even then.
Now…. It bothers me that Sam’s patient/girlfriend spent 9 hours spilling her story to Richard Grannon who was then Sam’s partner but then spent the night with heri and the same night broke up with his girlfriend that night at 4 am by telling her he was with someone else. Ummmm Hello? Richard was fed up with Sam and broke things off with Sam the next day after listening to Sam saying “ Richard was told “ that Richard could have her” but his timing was bad as she was still “my girl” and of course Richard secretly recorded him. Richard then gets referrals through her to a group of victims. Richard “ smears” and tries to cancel Sam on YouTube to no success. Years later Richard brings this to Mark Vicente then Isla got on board. Voila! There are layers of problems with this story First, while Richard is noble to challenge this victim and the others but it is gross that he spent the night with a victim who was with Sam after hearing her horror story and his manner of ending his relationship was wrong too. Bothers me about Richard Grannon. Bothers me overall.
The other problem that I have and… I understand the reluctance … is that is necessary as to make a police report. In North Macedonia rape has a 10 year to 30 year statute of limitations with the longest statute being aggravated assault. You don’t need to live in the country or be a citizen to file. : BTW Russia is terrible with a 10% prosecution of all rape cases filed. I also wonder where the civil actions are? I also wonder while the psychology board of North Macedonia is not doing anything about Sam’s unorthodox, unethical, cold therapy methods or the fact he practices therapy without a license. This is provable. Have complaints been made? If not… then exposure is it and not effective to STOP HIM. Sam is already responding with what appears a legal assisted position . He says there are only two “ victims “ his former business associate a Russian and her good German friend. The Russian is the married with children Ann. Sam says both are misguided by Richard Grannon who “tried 60 times to cancel him with the same stories on YouTube “ and failed and Richard Grannon is now “ partners” with Mark Vicente.
Then, Sam says his
“ Dr.” title is for his physics doctorate degree and he has a
Psychology degree from California’s Pacific Western. Finally Sam says that there are NO police reports, and to show him one.
He said, she said. If the women don’t report him themselves to police to YouTube to psychology regulation board, a third party like Isla is all that can be done. It’s helpful but it won’t stop Sam and in fact I fear it will embolden him and make him feel invincible over time.
Do I believe the victims. Yes.
Is Sam being honest? I say NO. He is cagey perhaps upon legal advice For example,
Sam did not show his diploma and this university was a known online diploma mill that was essentially shut down for it. He might have bought a degree. ??? But it is clear he is not showing this degree because it most likely does not exist
Details of Police investigations are not to be shared or disclosed. Easy to say the police reports don’t exist under this well known police policy.
If only two provider testimony to Isla, then Sam can say only two even if others and discredit them by explaining away texts and emails which are circumstantial evidence.
Alex Jones was canceled by YouTube but the victims or the families who lost children in the Sandyhook mass shooting took a stand and sued him and won over a billion. The victims got influential groups such as media watch to pressure YouTube too and they went to their politicians.
In short, without a direct reports, no indictment. Without lawsuits, no harsh financial loss. YouTube? It appears Richard Grannon failed. Where is the North Macedonia psychology board? That is the greatest joke as they could stop at least his therapy practice. Very expensive for wealthy clients only per Sam. Maybe he predicts their future and offers time travel too as part of his therapy.
But without direct reporting you are left with exposure and ISLA is the hero on this but is it enough to stop him? I don’t think ISLA is enough. Sam attacks Mark Vicente as Mark cannot get a distribution deal. Sam scoffs saying that says it all.
Then there is Sam’s sad stories over his childhood but if he was regularly out in the hospital by authorities where was the medical reporting on this level of child abused or the police? Child protective services? Since Sam is a pathological liar, I believe nothing. If his lips move, he is lying.
How this story came to light through Grannon is not helpful to the women, failure to file a police report with hard direct evidence of rape is not helpful to their quest for justice or as Isla says “ screaming into a void where no one hears them.” Failure to sue in civil court, failure to report Sam to the psychological medical board, failure to directly report him to YouTube with the evidence compounds their quest for justice.
I understand that they are ashamed, fearful etc… every rape victim is and you need to be brave to obtain true justice for yourself…. And to prevent other women from getting harmed.
But exposure is higher, this will help. I have no problems with ISLA’s deception as she truly wants to stop Sam from raping others and infecting them with HOV. I find Isla to be very credible and noble and all involved are lucky to have her skill and tireless efforts.
I would like to see justice too and for other women to be protected but I am far from sure it will happen without direct reporting by the victims or powerful groups including advertisers complaining to YouTube, or big lawsuits
If it turns out to be a he said, she said… Sam won’t be stopped, he will skate….. sad but true.
I truly worry that if nothing happens but some bad publicity Sam will escalate even because he will feel he is untouchable. Saddens me.
I will support the women and Isla but no third party can do more than the victims can.
But maybe there is more news coming…. Maybe one police department will indict.
???
Isla is doing a question and answer session on Saturday with the director of I Psycho. It’s 6pm British time. 10am Pavific Standard time…..
Thank you, HG. Your comment is reassuring.
Contagious, WiserNow & Mari,
I keep thinking about Ann and how she got sucked in by SV and I wonder about her particular vulnerabilities. I agree with you WiserNow that it feels irritating how SV`s bs was bought by certain people.
However, if you consider some of the specific details with regard to Ann`s ensnarement, I think it sheds some further light on the “why.” Ann appears to be intelligent, articulate, wealthy, has family support etc., – so, what was the `in` for her? She refers to being in a life “crisis” when she met SV – but, notably, it`s left unstated as to what type of crisis. (I have noted this absence a couple times during the podcast and documentary companion materials).
She also mentions knowing nothing about – and having no interest in the field of psychology – so, she would have little experience with or knowledge of the theories that SV would be putting forth and naturally, she would view him as an authority figure in this aspect. She also reveals that she recommended SV to some of her friends as a therapist (plus, we know that he spent time with Ann and her family).
Also, SV boasts, himself, that only wealthy people can afford his services – plus, Isla has identified many of SV`s victims as attractive and well-off.
I can`t help but think of past figures in the history of psychology and the past trend of being “psychoanalyzed” which was often pursued by wealthy individuals – because, in part, long-term therapy was costly. In certain cultural circles it was considered to be in vogue to be doing therapy with the likes of Freud, or Jung. The “analysand” (person undergoing analysis) would have a long-term relationship – like that of teacher and student – with their psychoanalyst. I wonder if, similarly, this was the draw for Ann (since it wasn’t a romantic ensnarement, despite later on having a sexual component.) Also, this would appeal to SV, through association to historical figures in psychology and considering himself an important figure (and pioneer) in the field of psychology.
WiserNow,
“Your comment is well stated.”
Thank-you.
“I think the very gradual process has a lot to do with it.”
I would agree that the incremental nature of the ensnarement is a key component.
“From a narcissist’s point of view, I think they get to know a victim slowly, using small and subtle ways to test which manipulations will ‘work’. They take advantage slowly a little at a time based on how much they can get away with at each stage – that is, how much a victim is willing to agree with at certain points as the ‘ensnarement’ progresses.”
I think that’s true, but I also think that the moment where the victim is at, particularly in their life or struggles, at the point of meeting the narcissist is key. You hear it often in survivors’ stories when recounting the time of initially meeting the narcissist – the particular need or void, of the victim, that the narcissist seized upon. I don’t think we have (yet) clearly heard this in Ann’s story.
Hi Contagious,
Thanks for sharing. I didn’t catch the commentary by SV when he was 20…I don’t plan to search it out. I am really weary of listening to him.
The whole “Jane” thing, as Richard Grannon lays it out, is dubious. It just feels icky, and I can’t believe Isla is buying Grannon’s take on what happened. It is simply my speculation – but, I wouldn’t be surprised if there are further incidents of SV & RG “trading” women/clients…based on the recorded conversation between SV & RG.
I though Isla said SV had already been reported to the authorities? (He is wanted for questioning in the UK.)
Also, I might check out Isla’s Q&A with the director of I, Psychopath.
Hi 1WhoCares,
Yes, I agree. It reminds me of the saying:
‘When the student is ready, the teacher appears.’
In a grim and sinister way, you could substitute ‘prey’ and ‘predator’, or ‘victim’ and ‘abuser’, for ‘student’ and ‘teacher’.
The victim has a repetition compulsion and is already conditioned because of prior trauma, while the abuser is hunting for a particular kind of prey that will fulfill the prime aims.
I remember at each phase of my life when I was targeted by a narcissist, either as a family member, friend, romantic partner, or in a work context, I was a different kind of ‘victim’ with different blind spots or vulnerabilities at each phase and in each context.
I think this shows how many predators are out there. Wherever you are or whatever the context, there are multiple individuals (and flying monkeys too) who are on the prowl, so to speak.
With regard to Ann and the other women who fell victim to Vaknin, I think what they had in common was that they were all at a point in their lives where they recognised they needed or wanted therapy for their various personal reasons.
Whatever each individual’s crisis was at that time caused them to seek therapy, and they had the misfortune of crossing paths with Vaknin at that point.
When I think of Vaknin using a mental health ‘teaching’ arena as his ‘hunting ground’ for victims, it makes me see more clearly how insidious and despicable he is. He is a predator seeking prey while pretending to be a mental health expert, a ‘good guy’ who can help them.
He knowingly lures in young vulnerable women who trust him as a therapist. Meanwhile, he deliberately abuses their trust with the aim of exploiting them sexually and financially. It is really, really sick and insidious.
Hi 1WC,
I don’t like listening to SV either. He makes me sick to my stomach.
“…but, I wouldn’t be surprised if there are further incidents of SV & RG “trading” women/clients…based on the recorded conversation between SV & RG.” – I hadn’t considered that. Its disturbing to think about.
Hi Mari,
I was thinking if it were the Vaknin were an Upper Lesser, he would not have been able to keep his cool for so long during the confrontation with Isla. He definitely does not have a hair trigger on his ignited fury.
Fair point, thanks 1WC! My father is an upper lesser B and he can be reeeeeally calm when challenged, except I know it’s a wobbling lid on a boiling pan. He does/did when younger, this kind of “psycho” cool, glib thing, but it never came across as kind or charming. He loves Jack Nicholson, think Jack Nicholson :D.
That’s not really a facade though is it? Perhaps that’s in the remit of cold fury with “psycho sprinkles”. I would guess SV is a mid ranger, but equally not surprised if he was an upper lesser type B, due to his abusive and erratic conduct. That conduct can apply to more narcs than upper lesser B’s tho, as I understand it!
Hi Mari,
Sorry, I just saw this.
“My father is an upper lesser B and he can be reeeeeally calm when challenged..” That’s impressive.
Re: Jack Nicholson. I get what you mean. Although, I feel like Jack can be fairly charming (more than SV). I am thinking of “The Witches of Eastwick” or “Wolf”.
Incidentally, I recently let me son watch “The Shining”, as he’s heard references from schoolmates and wanted to know what it’s all about.
He said (about Nicholson): “Those eyebrows are crazy!”
Dear 1WC, thank you for your response. I dunno about ‘impressive’, but he would like that :D. More like storing up ammo for later.
When more able, he was good at calm, effective action in (acute) crisis or dilemma, so I’ll give him a point for that – minus 3 points for inevitably spoiling it all later.
The Jack Nicholson reference was a bit loose, I was thinking of his more ominous and calm smirks, so I understand your point!
Crazy eyebrows must not be underestimated! 😀
On the SV note: I’ve heard a few references on Isla’s podcast to his crying on numerous occasions, which does point more toward the ‘crybaby’ midranger doesn’t it? Can’t recall which one is most prone to that without checking. Although he does seem suspiciously ‘co-morbid’ in his behaviours, not sure narcissism is the full bag.
Mari,
“The Jack Nicholson reference was a bit loose, I was thinking of his more ominous and calm smirks, so I understand your point!”
Yes, I think he certainly has mastered ominous, calm smirks. I am reminded of a memorable scene from Wolf, where Nicholson shows up James Spader’s character (watch until at least around the 2:30 mark for the punchline)
https://youtu.be/uDPcJIK52_Y?si=5h1nQiPY6FP39YkX
Too bad that film didn’t have better creature effects.
“On the SV note: I’ve heard a few references on Isla’s podcast to his crying on numerous occasions, which does point more toward the ‘crybaby’ midranger doesn’t it?”
Yes, midrange narcs are the generally the type who turn on the waterworks. And Vaknin has a special scene in the Narcissist’s Playbook. I have to say that I no longer have conventional reactions or emotional responses to a lot of behaviours, as consequence of my own education here and once I am aware someone is a narcissist. If you have watched Vaknin in the actual documentary – you will know the scene I am referring to – it’s not meant to draw laughter – but my instant reaction was to burst out laughing at his contrived pity play.
My guess is Sam is a cerebral upper midrange with psychopathic traits and paraphalia compulsions. He is rude. Haughty. Not really polished or charming. He has some greater behaviors. He has a low level of awareness. An intermittent facade ( temper tantrums).
If I get it right… be so excited!
Episode 6 of Isla’s podcast was a total letdown.
I understand that she was sleep deprived and nervous, but from what was discussed lated in episode, my conclusion it was just a lack of understanding and preparation.
1. To slam the Sam she should’ve made her point sting – show some evidence, some recording, something. Instead she telegraped her attack in a shaking voice like a freshman journalist.
2. The interview was almost perfect for later revelation, but the actual most incriminating point is that he abused his client in clinical practice. She could’ve let him speak about practice in general, ask about narcs in practice, and then attack.
3. When he said to his wife Lydia “you shouldn’t be talking about that” – he was clearly not admitting having sex with victims. He was asserting control over his wife, who became self-righteous and spoke too much.
4. Later discussion Isla said “I though we was gonna blow up, angry. But he did not. I think this is because he liked me”. Not at all. He was in control the whole time, why would he blow up? He even schooled Isla and she looked stupid.
It looks like Isla and crew thought you say to a narc “You re bad!” and he starts screaming with temper tantrum like a toddler. Very much underestimated Sam, he just lectured her and slowly jettison. Sad, there was a great potential there.
I agree in general, JohnTheRevelator (great name by the way).
I thought the interview itself, especially the end of it, wasn’t very well planned. I agree that the questions should have included a way to show Vaknin concrete evidence he couldn’t deny.
Leading up to the day of the interview, there seemed to be quite a lot of planning. That is, there were meetings with Isla to discuss her involvement in the film, and then Isla spent months arranging the interview. There was travel and planning to secure the location and organise the setting, etc.
I don’t really blame Isla because of the pressure she was under. At that point of the interview, she was carrying the premise of the whole film. She was very aware that the success of this ‘plan’ was riding on her. She was also cognisant of the costs involved, and that her rapport with Vaknin and her demeanour during the interview were the main factors that would lead the film to this ‘gotcha’ moment.
The other thing is that Isla may not be fully aware about narcissists and what to do around them. It was her first in-person meeting with Vaknin. At first she was friendly and accommodating, which seemed to be more natural for her. At the point where she had to change course and ask direct questions about his abuse, it seemed she had not envisioned that she’d have to adopt a more resolute and strident approach.
Also, it showed that both Isla and the film crew were not knowledgeable about how Vaknin was likely to respond. They had police outside the apartment as though Vaknin would become physically violent or launch an out-of-control attack. If they were aware that Vaknin is cerebral and has a more solid facade, they’d have been prepared for a verbal reaction and one of ‘deny and deflect’.
It was still a telling interview, though.
It sounded like Vaknin was sorry to leave. He hung around instead of storming off. I think that showed he was either confused or in denial about the trap that was set for him. He probably thought, “Why are you doing this? We could have had a mutually beneficial professional interview.” In the sense that this is what he normally does to make a living, he probably thought: ‘I scratch your back and you scratch mine.’
It makes me think that Vaknin is very self-entitled. He really believes his own hype and thinks he’s untouchable. That’s why he brags and pontificates and doesn’t bother to hide his bad behaviour. For decades, he has been invited to seminars by respectful universities, he is described as a professor or doctor or scholar, and people listen to him unquestioningly.
JohnTheRevelator,
I have a few observations about your statements.
1. I would argue that Isla is only getting started. It was a direct confrontation, the very first one, not the end-all-be-all of the matter. One doesn’t go into a first confrontation in such a situation with one’s hand exposed (showing evidence, recordings, etc). I am actually glad she handled it that way. It allowed her to continue pursuing the matter without exposing the details of her evidence and who gave that information to her. This would ensure SV remained somewhat blind-sided throughout the process, but more importantly, it protected the victims from immediate repercussions from SV. One must play one’s cards with wisdom, especially when dealing with an aware malign narcissist such as the subject of this exposé, and I believe that is what Isla did.
2. It is very easy to see what could’ve or should’ve been said or done as a third-party observer from the comfort of one’s keyboard. Isla played a fool for months until that face-to-face confrontation. She won SV’s trust, got him to agree to the interview, got him to show up in person for the interview, and never let her façade crack once. SV definitely didn’t see it coming; he got played like a fiddle. Therefore, in that regard, the evidence shows that her efforts were fruitful and the plan was a success.
3. It is important to speak about the context. In that moment, he chose to direct his energy towards his wife, trying to stop her from denying the allegations that he had sex with his therapy clients (aka patients), instead of outright denying that himself or allowing his lieutenant to defend him. I believe that is what Isla was referring to. Also, his comment about the confrontation being unprofessional was classic narcissistic manipulation: blame-shifting (and projection, I may add). It was not Isla getting schooled or being subject to his control, in my view. Rather, SV was trying to keep *himself* under control, and not let his ignited fury erupt. The fact that Isla kept the interrogation and confrontation going until the very last moment was a sign that she was not under his control at all. I may have to listen to the podcast again, because I didn’t hear her voice shaking; quite the opposite. She was rather stern in her address to him, and didn’t fold under the pressure. She also didn’t give in to his attempts to shift blame, project his own lack of professionalism, and engage in a circular conversation.
If anything, she was giving him huge amounts of challenge fuel, which is potentially why he was taking forever to leave and kept engaging with her; the fuel was pouring out of her (and others in the room, by way of they facial expressions and body language) and was simply too potent to pass up. His fury was very clearly ignited, but he managed not to display it in front of the cameras (façade management). Instead, he used a series of manipulations to temporarily control it. He undoubtedly doled out lashes of devaluation to every person he interacted with the second he stepped out of that building and knew the cameras weren’t filming any longer.
4. I doubt that Isla has an advanced grasp of HG’s material at that moment of filming, which is why she wasn’t able to anticipate and appropriately interpret his response. The result is her surprise that SV didn’t lash out. In my view, that merely reflects Isla’s lack of knowledge about how the narcissist’s mind works, rather than proof of her being subject to his control or made to look stupid.
In this regard, I agree with your statement, ‘my conclusion it was just a lack of understanding’. But I do not see a lack of preparation; neither do I see a ‘freshman journalist’ at work here, but, again, quite the opposite.
Isla was sleep-deprived precisely because she was over-preparing. Isla and her team handled SV’s last-minute changes (assertions of control) and his multiple emails full of questions (also assertions of control) throughout those 48 hours leading up to the interview extremely well, in my opinion. She didn’t challenge him in any way despite having numerous reasons to do so, because she was *intentionally* trying to get Sam to feel in control of everything so that he wouldn’t see her confrontation coming. She gathered intel from the filmmakers about SV’s behaviour on set and prepared for potential disruptions beforehand, and it proved fruitful. For example, she was not taken aback by him peeing in a cup but stayed accommodating to give him a false sense of control. All that — and more — is evidence of her preparation and professionalism.
Moreover, it is important to state that after saying, ‘I thought we was gonna blow up, angry. But he did not. I think this is because he liked me’, Isla immediately corrected herself, stating she is aware that a narcissist can’t like anyone and SV definitely didn’t like her, so it must have been that SV saw a lot of value in what she had to offer in that specific collaboration instead of a sense of affinity between them.
I have written this long response because I observed that the evidence available to us contradicts many of your claims, JohnTheRevelator. Overall, there was a downplaying of Isla’s work and presentation of the facts out of context.
There are many things I personally hoped would have been handled differently in that interview, but I think it takes round about twelve pairs of balls to pull something like this off. I commend Isla Traquair for doing so.
In conclusion, the podcast is called ‘Storyteller’, so Isla is telling a story. I am certain future episodes will enlighten us more, and I look forward to them.
I’m tapping out. I think I have said enough, and I much prefer reading and observing anyway.
Thank you, Mr Tudor, for moderating.
Hi Isabelle,
You do realise you’re writing on a blog moderated by a self-confessed malignant narcissist, right?
Mr Tudor, as you respectfully address him, is himself willing to abuse ‘victims’ and has himself written about what he does, and how and why he does it.
The ‘outrage’ about Sam Vaknin that requires him to be ‘brought down’ while simultaneously defending and celebrating another malignant narcissist is almost comical.
Let’s be accurate. I’m a narcissistic psychopath. All narcissists engage in malign behaviours, malignant narcissist covers a wide range of differing narcissists and isn’t an overly helpful term.
The point I made still stands.
According to what Sam Vaknin says, he is a narcissistic psychopath as well.
Whether the word ‘malignant’ is used or not, doesn’t make any difference. The malignancy exists either way. Using the word ‘malignant’ is superfluous. In everyday language, it’s like saying ‘frozen ice’ or ‘wet water’.
The point I made is that it’s hypocritical to say that one narcissistic psychopath deserves to be hated and brought down, while another deserves to be treated like they can do no wrong.
By adopting such a blanket approach, you fail to take into account people´s subjective experiences, which have a considerable impact.
Vaknin would like to be a narcissistic psychopath, but he isn´t. He turns on the water works and pissed in a cup because he would not use a staircase that had no handrail to reach the toilet. Come on.
“Vaknin would like to be a narcissistic psychopath, but he isn´t. He turns on the water works and pissed in a cup because he would not use a staircase that had no handrail to reach the toilet. Come on.”
He’d likely call for his mom (or Lidiya) at the sight of a needle, or faint in a delivery room.
Hi WN,
Your comment about Mr. Tudor doing similar to his victims isn’t lost on me. Its something that crossed my mind as well.
I think its important to draw a distinction though. When Mr. Tudor is telling us these stories, he’s talking about his personal life. In the case of Vaknin, we’re talking about his professional life. For me, that’s a huge difference.
People went to Vaknin for help & he took advantage of them. He calls himself a therapist even though he’s not licensed to be a therapist. Then used that as leverage to cause more harm.
Mr. Tudor has repeatedly said that he is not a therapist. I’ve been on this blog for over 7 years and Mr. Tudor has never once taken advantage of me. I came to this blog for help & knowledge and that’s exactly what he provided.
For me, the outrage over Vaknin is justified because I find him repulsive for taking advantage of victims when they needed help the most. Vaknin is a vile human being.
Indeed and you will not find any individual who has consulted with me who has been subjected to abusive behaviour from me. After all, I am the Ultra.
Hi Leigh,
I have been consulting with HG for about 5 years now and hasn’t abused me. In fact, it would be idiotic for HG to abuse his clients and risk the abuse getting out. Look what is now happening to SV! HG is way too intelligent to abuse his professional clients. I don’t see that ever happening with HG. Xx
Hi Leigh,
Is there really such a huge difference if ‘abuse’ is done in a professional context rather than a personal one?
A couple of examples:
Ted Bundy went on killing sprees in his ‘personal’ life. Charles Manson created a murderous cult in his ‘personal’ life.
I realise these examples are at the extreme end of what a narcissistic psychopath can do. I’m using them to illustrate my point though.
Would it make any difference to police arresting Ted Bundy or Charles Manson if someone said, “But Officer, those things were done during personal time.” Or would a jury during a trial stop to think, “Hang on, the murders were done in his private life so we need to make an allowance for that.”
The more I learn about Sam Vaknin, the more I think he is a vile human being as well. This is based on the things he says and does in both a professional *and* personal context.
Like you, I’ve been on the blog for a while too. I agree with you that HG provides help and knowledge. I have benefited from being here and have gained knowledge and insights.
At the same time, while being here I have also seen and felt manipulation and gaslighting. I can see how comments are used at times to paint a certain picture – not just my comments, the comments of others as well. There are deceptive points of view and literally inaccurate things said about previous threads and comments. Viewpoints are framed in ways that benefit HG. Plus, there are things that are skewed or slanted in ways that are misleading.
It’s difficult to pinpoint these things specifically but they exist. HG writes about this kind of deceptive facade himself in the post ‘Why Can’t They See It Too?’
Another thing HG says often and repeatedly is that narcissists are *always* manipulating when interacting with another person. He says himself, repeatedly, that there is no such thing as a part-time narcissist.
Indeed however you omit to recognise benign manipulations as part of this equation. The narcissist will use those as part of love bombing and often repeatedly with NISSs. The recipient is treated well although it’s still a manipulation owing to the fact it’s for the needs of the narcissist as opposed to what the recipient believes it to be. I regularly explain in consultation how the dynamic between my client and me is a manipulation albeit benign and every single time the response is “I understand but I don’t feel manipulated because you’re helping me/ I’m gaining insight/ it’s now making sense / that’s fine because I’m getting the help I need with regard to the narcissist that’s actually hurting me “
Many narcissists will behave professionally in a professional setting often owing to facade management and with more sophisticated narcissists they see the bigger picture of operating that way. A certain someone failed in that regard.
Hello HG,
I understand the points you are making.
I realise your work and this blog is very, very helpful. I have learned a lot by being here. Honestly, in some ways it has kept me sane.
As you know, I have commented here for a long time, and I still find it very helpful and interesting to be here.
I take your work seriously.
There have also been times when it has felt like a long and tedious uphill battle just to get my points across. Meanwhile, others can freely air their various opinions and say whatever they want about me.
While I appreciate that other commenters here are quick to defend you against any criticism, the fact is you say you are a self-confessed narcissistic psychopath and you describe what you do.
After all this time, I would hope that other commenters would be more aware that they don’t need to jump in and defend you whenever I say something.
You have made the point and you are allowed to do so and you may continue to do so. Just as you may advance your views, opinions and observations (which are invariably of interest) other people are also allowed to respond if they wish to.
I am pleased you find my work useful.
Hi WN,
I want to clarify that I wasn’t defending Mr. Tudor. He’s a grown man and can defend himself. I was actually defending how and why I see a difference between Mr. Tudor and Vaknin.
To Contagious’ point, no one has accused Mr. Tudor of the things that Vaknin is being accused of. I probably should’ve stated that myself. But I wanted to share that I did feel similar to you. Is Mr. Tudor capable of these things?
Of course I agree that murder & rape is wrong regardless if its personal or professional. Mr. Tudor has never told us a story about raping someone or murdering someone so its not a fair comparison to compare him to Bundy or Manson. I have no proof of that so I don’t even consider it.
I was specifically looking at Mr. Tudor vs Vaknin. Vaknin takes advantage of his clients. He rapes them and tries to make them commit suicide. Whether Mr. Tudor is capable of that is irrelevant. Its our actions, not what we’re capable of, that matter. There have been no accusations made against Mr. Tudor & that’s why I feel no outrage towards him. But fuck yeah I feel outrage towards Vaknin & I hope Mr. Tudor takes him down.
Well, let’s just say I find your work useful in general.
Hi Leigh,
As HG says, he is not careless. As a Greater, he is aware and he’s going to be mindful of collateral consequences.
He’s not going to admit to things like rape or murder, because that would be a huge threat to his control.
Vaknin didn’t and wouldn’t admit to those things either.
I’ve now listened to more of Isla Traquair’s podcast and I’ve just finished Episode 10. The woman who was Vaknin’s ‘victim’ over several years talks in detail about her long association with him and his manipulations which Vaknin carried out together with his wife.
The manipulations were horrible and insidious. It was a case of salami slicing done very slowly over time so that it was imperceptible. The ‘victim’ was willingly doing what Vaknin wanted.
Although the word ‘rape’ is used to describe what Vaknin did, to an observer, was it actually ‘rape’?
Rape is a very strong word and in a court of law, there would be many questions asked about why the victim consented.
Isla Traquair can call it rape, and we can call it rape here on the blog. This is a kind of shorthand way of describing it though, because the victim was not ‘actually’ raped in the usual way that ‘rape’ is defined.
Same with the word ‘murder’. If a victim commits suicide by their own hand, it’s not actually murder.
This is why it’s so insidious and dangerous to think that some forms of ‘abuse’ are not really abuse while others are.
Hi WN,
SV might not have admitted to rape but he did admit to a sexual relationship with Ann. He said to Ann that he can go back and forth between being her therapist & partner. Whether he’s a licensed therapist or not, is irrelevant. He’s calling himself one so as the professional, he bears all the responsibility of not crossing that boundary. But he did anyway. It might not be rape but its sexual harassment, sexual coercion & sexual exploitation.
Wirh Jane, he trafficked her. He the conversation with Grannon in the taxi, he acted as if Jane was his girlfriend, not his patient or client.
All that to say, that’s why I see a difference between Mr. Tudor and Vaknin. Mr. Tudor hasn’t crossed a line with me. But yes, I know every interaction with Mr. Tudor is a manipulation. It may be a benign one, but its still a manipulation.
Hi Wisernow:
There is no evidence presented by victims of HG that I have seen. There is narcissistic abuse and there are crimes.
Rape is a crime.
Holding yourself out as a therapist or a doctor is a crime when you are not licensed.
Perhaps Sam like HG educates and helps women that’s not the case with ALL. At least what I have read and heard so far with more coming. There is a criminal profiler and former member of Scotland Yard assisting, among police, attorneys and others.
This is not about Sam’s knowledge on the topic, not for me, but about these 20-30 women from many countries who trusted him and got abused, one says raped, another is reported as trafficked.
If true, I see this as serial sexual abuse across countries….and no different then poor troubled young women being promised financial help to seek their dreams, only to be used or abused, or promised modeling careers, or music careers by men in power who take advantage and abuse them… sexually, mentally and verbally destroying young vulnerable women who thought they would get a better life.
# me too didn’t end it and it never will anymore than racism movements. It’s up to each one of us to take a stand. Especially when shown evidence. There are so many ways to take a stand. This wrong that needs to be righted as just started….
Hi WiserNow:
I hope you don’t think I am simply defending HG in my input on SV and NP. I am just blogging away on the subject of narcissism and recent developments. HG is my top choice in this field. My personal choice. I do believe in Isla’s work as her objective is noble and it is happening in real time plus she is doing one long series which is slow with real testimony and evidence. You don’t just learn, you honestly feel what’s happening almost as if you are stepping into someone’s shoes. It’s helped me understand the subject on a different level… the pace is slow and will be a very long story….Her goal is not to address narcissism in and of itself or by educating to weaponize them…. but to give the victims voices and ultimately social justice for them. Such as jail time.
Also it’s funny you mentioned Ted Bundy and Charles Manson. The more I hear and see of Sams manipulations and tactics, the more of a cult leader Sam seems… shame that Doug is no longer with us… he would have insight….and I had already had a gut feeling from the get-go and now even more so that there is a serial sexual compulsion and obsession issue.
Cult leader: I am the one and only person on this Earth who can help you. I am unique with special knowledge. I know all. Tactics: Find a vulnerable target or a target that has a vulnerability you can exploit, take their money, sleep deprivation, control food, isolate, reward and punish, sexually abuse, lie, and the ultimate goal is complete and utter dependency. And it takes time to control another’s mind. SV does all of this-
Then there is what I call paraphalia – the serial rapist. This compulsion or obsession of sadistic sex ( don’t read further if you don’t want to read anything gross or triggering) rape and the re-enactment of rape, yellow parachutes, writing swasticas on bodies, inserting objects, submissive acts like kissing his feet, trafficking to another. SV has done this. All sexual acts are about power but a sexual sadist gets off on that- Ted Bundy did. Ted said it was the old detective novels that caused him to rape and kill but he felt a compulsion – an obsession- for this degrading sex…
What do all of them have in common? The law catches up with them.
But I agree: a crime is a crime. Harm is harm:)
Best wishes!
Hi Contagious,
Quick question: Who is NP?
Excellent.
What I always find interesting is what is not said versus what is said.
John failed to address the whole reason for this event. Sam’s actions and the victims.
I am noticing new faces on HG blog and his YouTube. I have had comments to my posts recently that again don’t get to the heart of the matter but instead attempt to try to shift attention to others involved in the film including HG and to attack Isla ( and insinuate an adverse result for her efforts.)
Always look closely not just what is being said…. But why is something is not being said:)
Good summary!
I think this is a fantastic synopsis, Isabelle! I agree with everything you say here.
I’ve read your comments and I think you have a lot to offer. I hope you’ll decide to interact a bit more.
Pay for her podcast. She has just started with the 1000 pieces of evidence. We are not in a court of law, there is no showing of Meta data but Isla contends she has it, there is no witness under oath to authenticate it ( yet), but the start of her posting of evidence and my review of it makes me sick.
John & Isabelle,
I watched the Narcissist`s Playbook more than once and took some notes, with a focus on the confrontation scene. The one thing that really struck me, because I witnessed it first in the film, (and not later in the podcast where Isla reveals that her heart was “beating out of her chest”) was how calm they both were during this exchange. It actually quite impressed me.
In response to Isla`s claims that she has documents and photographic evidence, Vaknin`s wife asks for the evidence to be shown. And as the couple are readying to leave the apartment this exchange occurs:
Lidiya (to Isla): “I will show you my pictures with the clients. He didn’t have sexual coerce with them.”
Vaknin (to his wife) “Lidiya, you are very wrong in what you`re saying right now. Don`t participate.”
(I think it`s important to note that neither of them are native english speakers and this comes out in some of the awkward phrasing, and strong accents, of course. For example, above, Lidiya uses `coerce` as a verb.)
In her podcast and on social media, Isla is framing it as Vaknin`s first sentence being an admittance of guilt. But I believe it`s in the second sentence that is the “wrong”, in Vaknin`s view: Lidiya`s participation in engaging Isla`s accusations.
Note: Vaknin himself only directly responds twice to Isla`s accusations throughout the confrontation, where he states:
“I am utterly unaware of these, nor have I been approached…”
“I have not done wrong to anyone as far as I know.”
All other responses of his, in turn, point out that Isla did not keep to their agreement regarding what the interview would be about.
I agree with Isabelle (Isla over prepared) and, for me, it was actually quite amazing that Isla pulled this off, and so calmly. It should be pointed out that she was doing double duty – going about her usual interviewing role (she didn`t bring notes, she had to memorize all her questions and the specific points of evidence she wanted present to Vaknin and she had to keep her composure) and planning to confront Vaknin as the interview played out. I was really impressed. And I, personally, have had to play dumb in order to escape a situation with a potentially physically volatile narcissist – but, I don`t think I would have been able to do what Isla did, with such composure.
“For example, above, Lidiya uses `coerce` as a verb” – that should have read that she used “coerce” as a noun, instead of a verb.
Isla has been preparing for TWO years she says:)
I’ve now listened to Episode 5 of Isla Traquair’s podcast in which her interview of Sam Vaknin takes place.
The interview is interesting because it reveals how Vaknin operates. I think this is more telling and revealing than the content of what he says.
SPOILER ALERT
If you haven’t yet listened to the podcast, you may want to stop reading this comment. I am going to mention how the interview goes, so if you want to listen to the podcast with fresh ears, you may want to stop reading my comment now.
Vaknin gives very long and verbose answers. He dominates the interview and treats Isla Traquair in a patronising way, as though she is an ingenue or a teenage student in one of his classes and she’s there to be lectured by him.
His ‘schtick’ is to be intellectually dominant, the all-knowing authority on narcissism. What he says is the last word and he must not be challenged. Anyone who tries will be devalued and treated with contempt.
If I consider the information he discusses while ignoring his verbose authoritative tone, the thing that becomes apparent is that he is well-read and knows a lot of detail. He refers to specific details about the history of psychology; he mentions well-known researchers and their psychological theories over the past century; and he also talks about neuroscience and the physiological effects of abuse, etc. He knows a lot.
However, Vaknin’s modus operandi, if you like, which is to be a well-read ‘expert’, could also be a weakness. It is possible to poke holes in his ‘knowledge’.
For example, in the interview with Isla Traquair, Vaknin talks about the ‘dead mother’ theory. That is, that a child loses their sense of self when their mother or caregiver is not emotionally engaged or responsive enough. Vaknin says that in the first three years of a child’s life, the mother is all-important while the father’s influence is much less important.
Vaknin says: “… until the age of three, mothers are critical, fathers much less so. Fathers become more relevant, they’re never critical, but they become more relevant after age three when the child acquires social skills, other types of skills, and so on. Fathers are in the skilling business; they teach the child social scripts, sexual scripts, how to behave in society, how to aspire, goal orientation, ‘how to’. We call this semantic memory.”
Vaknin makes statement like this in his signature authoritative way, making it more difficult and problematic to challenge him.
He is not correct though in relation to a father’s role in early childhood development. There are numerous research studies that show a father’s involvement in a child’s life from birth is critical to the child’s emotional, cognitive, and social development. A father who is engaged with their baby’s caregiving and nurturing in a warm and supportive way provides important interactions that have a long-term effect on the child’s emotional regulation and behaviour.
Numerous such studies have shown a two-way effect on fathers and children in relation to anxiety, depressive symptoms, and obsessive-compulsive tendencies on the part of the father, and internalising and externalising problems on the part of the child.
With regard to Vaknin’s knowledge, he is knowledgable, there’s no doubt about that, however, he also displays a kind of all-knowing and rigid bias to what he says.
When it comes to psychology in general and narcissism in particular, there are still many unanswered questions. There are ambiguities and unknowns. All of the ‘facts’ are not yet known and the science is continually evolving.
Sam Vaknin does not acknowledge this. He believes he is the ultimate authority on the subject, which he isn’t.
During the interview, he also says “we” in regard to information about narcissism. He says things like, “We call this semantic memory,” or “We now know that …” He is making it sound like he is one of a group of researchers and experts on the subject. He is acquiring character traits.
Another thing that is apparent in the interview with Isla Traquair is that Vaknin subtly (or not so subtly to my mind) peppers his replies with mentions of sex. For example, he talks about a father’s role in a child’s life as giving ‘sexual scripts’, or he mentions sex in his answers in other ways.
I think this is intentional and also unnecessary. He is dropping these suggestions to introduce sex into the interaction with Isla Traquair, possibly to test her reaction to them. He masks the suggestions within his ‘intellectual’ replies on narcissism, but they stand out. He’s probably getting fuel by mentioning them.
Sam Vaknin was actually my introduction to the subject of narcissism. His books hadn’t been translated into Russian, but translations of some of his articles were available, and at the time I found them very helpful. It was fascinating to hear your analysis of him, HG. It’s a shame he chose not to use his knowledge for good.
The more I hear of this ‘project,’ including Isla Traquair’s podcast about it, the more I think it’s all questionable.
I think Isla Traquair is genuine when she says her aim is to ‘stop’ Vaknin abusing other women. However, I also think she is being used as bait to lure Vaknin into a snare. Not that I care about what happens to Vaknin; I think he fully deserves to be outed. It’s just that this cat and mouse game the filmmakers are playing could backfire on them.
After listening to the first three episodes of Isla Traquair’s podcast, my main thought was that it’s all so sordid – all of it.
The horrible alleged abuse of a young woman by Vaknin over seven years is sickening. If it’s true, he is nothing more than scum and should be in prison for a long time.
The whole project does feel like a hit-piece, though, and the filmmakers are milking it for attention and publicity which adds to the sordidness.
It will be interesting to see if it culminates in a criminal investigation.
On the subject of Sam Vaknin, an Australian documentary about him called ‘I, Psychopath’ was released in 2008. (It’s available in full on YouTube if anyone is interested.)
The 2008 documentary was made by filmmaker Ian Walker. In the film, Walker and his film crew follow Vaknin to a number of different countries while researching and interviewing him and his wife, Lidija Rangelovska, along the way.
Vaknin’s personality is on display in the 2008 film. He regularly subjects Walker to angry, impatient, and belittling rants and tirades. By the end of the film, Walker discusses the harmful effects he has internalised as a result of Vaknin’s control and abuse. The devaluation of Walker by Vaknin is disgusting and it is on film.
Interestingly, in the course of Walker’s long interviews with him, Vaknin discusses his academic credentials and admits his PhD is fake. In his own words, during which he was filmed, Vaknin says:
“The PhD was acquired in a diploma mill. Diploma mill in the United States means a place where you buy your degrees. So it’s a diploma mill, I’m not a real PhD.”
To this, Walker responds: “You’re still a doctor though.”
And Vaknin says: “Technically, I am a PhD. I worked two years, I presented a thesis, the thesis was reviewed by peers, it is in the Library of Congress, you can see. But, between you and me, that’s not the rigorous PhD that people are led to believe when you use the title.”
Straight from the horse’s mouth.
The 2008 documentary provides some interesting insights into Vaknin’s personality and narcissism. It does make him appear to be too boastful to realise that he’s actually digging a hole for himself.
Hello, WN. Interesting…I said to Contagious earlier that I hadn’t bothered to search Vaknin, but your comment jogged my memory. I a quick squint at his YT last night, to see if he’s said much about these allegations. From there, I ended up on this link, without pursuing the original objective:
https://narcissistic-abuse.com/rebuttal
There, I caught sight of this bit:
“I. The sources of the malicious gossip
The rumour that I obtained my degree from a diploma mill is maliciously (and libellously) false. So is the claim that I am not — and have never been — a professor. It is also very old hat. ”
I just clicked off, ‘cos he’s too boring 😀
So on the 2008 doc he claims it was from a diploma mill and on this website he claims that is a false and libellous statement hehehe! Revison of history?
Good find, Mari.
It looks like he thinks nobody will remember what he said himself on film in ‘I, Psychopath’.
Well, this shows he’s a liar. He’s rewriting history because his own admission in the documentary threatens his scholarly reputation.
What’s interesting is the way he uses his usual grandiosely authoritative tone to say that it was a malicious rumour. In the link you included, he smears Wikipedia in general.
It’s hilarious that he says the ‘rumour’ about him getting his PhD from a diploma mill is defamatory and libellous when he actually said it himself! He has no-one to blame but good old Professor Vaknin. That’s actually funny!
Hi Wisernow:
From a legal perspective, I think Sam will not be charged.
First, many of the women not all but most are past the statute of limitations. They go back decades to one in the present. Isla is working on that…. Even Bill Cosby barely got caught due to the statute of limitations in criminal court in the USA and in one State I think it was 10 years that the victim was able to pursue the criminal case.
Second, Sam is smart. He could get a license but he remains a professor and a life coach by legal definition. There is little regulation over life coaches…. Anywhere… whereas if he was a licensed psychologist most countries have regulations where his license could be yanked, penalties imposed and even criminal prosecution pursued. Sam is not. Now I get the real reason behind his disclosures…..
Third: psychological abuse is the main form of abuse even if it is to direct the victim to suicide. There are emails where Sam admits to rape and allegations of rape BUT in a “ consensual” relationship, many prosecutors won’t take the case. Date rapes are often not pursued unless evidence of violence. Emails can be explained away. And if the rape victim failed to make a police report at the time… very difficult to get a prosecutor on board. Some countries consider psychological abuse a crime. The UK does with a 5 year prison sentence. How many of these cases are prosecuted however? Macedonia doesn’t have a crime for psychological abuse.
In the USA, a civil suit would bury him and a class action no doubt….as there would be breach of fiduciary duties, intentional infliction of emotional distress etc… In civil law, there are some ways around the statute… the Catholic Church is still paying out claims to adults of alleged childhood abuse. It’s complicated but in the USA there are some ways of extending a statute. If in the USA, Sam would probably settle with a confidentiality clause. No idea what Macedonia law is. And no USA victims that I know of.
I think of Russell Brand. A police report was made and timely sexual assault cases were brought and in the UK.
I think of Andrew Tate but he was on interpols watch list for human trafficking and multiple countries were after him. Timely and a complex system.
Sadly, Sam will skate… for now in the criminal justice system I think. That’s my prediction. Unlike Diddy or Cosby or Epstein, no trial lawyers in Macedonia like the USA taking on the victim cases . Right now, Sam is ignoring the allegations and posting on his YouTube like crazy. I think he is responding online himself and or through others to manage his reputation… covertly… claiming it’s all lies, it’s Grannon, he is innocent. And I think he attacks HG in a not so subtle way. Does he do an online video without calling “ so called empaths” as idiots, narcs, victims of a narc, psychopaths etc… make references to con men and those without degrees in psychology ( of course he skips licenses). My guess is HG has read every book Sam has.
Anyway…. One can hope it sheds light on Sam and that Isla has managed to dent his pool of targets from engaging but … sigh… I doubt it will end.
As for Vicente, I said it before, I will say it again. He was in a cult for a LONG time. He did a film to bring it down. Of course that was his aim in this one. Right from the start. Not much to learn about narcissism in it or in any of his videos. Even his neuroscience has little to say that is not known but maybe… maybe helpful to beginners. The misinformation bugs me. But hey… maybe they will find our glorious narrator and get educated!
I have read nothing of Vaknin´s work. I have no need. I explain narcissism and psychopathy from my perspective, experience and observations, not using someone´s else’s prolix work.
Dear HG:
Of course. My point was you are EDUCATED. You went to Oxford. You are academic. While you take a different approach, it is still an educated man speaking.
There are others. Let’s just say as to one, and I like him, he is a narc and he has a grasp on his condition and the subject but the education was high school and he worked in retail. He is different – not invalid but different.
I see an Oxford degree as important even if not in psychology and I know you know many lead psychologists and have read or are familiar with many. You don’t cite them, you rely on your knowledge and experience but…. and again ….you are a highly educated man. An Oxford grad!
That was my point.
Sam holds himself out as this great educated man. Well I don’t know where he went to school but I know where you went.
I had to look up the meaning of prolix, HG. It sums up ‘you know who’ very well.
It’s always a learning experience here on the blog.
Thank you for creating and maintaining this space. It really helps to comment here, share our thoughts, and read the thoughts and ideas of others.
You are welcome.
It’s probably a load of old prolix anyway 🙂
Your work is so well-categorized and clear for our understanding. Thank you
Regarding SV, he claims Isla Traquair presented footage from a role play as if it was IRL consulting. He is now selling footage of a cold therapy seminar, including role play, for €500. What do you think of this tactic?
You are welcome, I am pleased you find it useful.
He has trotted this “defence” out a number of times, claiming that footage of him having a tantrum was “role playing”. I understand that he does undertake role playing with some of the individuals that consult with him, although I doubt that the individual consented to be abused in the manner that has been alleged. I also doubt that SV has had the foresight to secure appropriate disclaimers. I think in his mind, when certain abuse has occurred, he regards it as part of the role playing that he engages in as part of his consultations and therefore he offers what he believes to be a legitimate excuse “I did not abuse her, it was role playing.” I doubt that an objective bystander would agree. I also think he then uses the “role play” excuse more widely as a catch all when he is accused of having a temper tantrum or behaving poorly towards someone in a seminar. It is a more extreme version of “I was just joking” that Mid Range narcissists use.
With regard to charging for the footage, on the basis that he holds the rights to the footage he can do as he wishes. I would seriously question the rationale of someone paying that amount for a viewing of a therapy which logically makes no sense.
Hi Contagious,
It was interesting to read your professional legal opinion. Thanks for sharing that.
Thank you for that:)
Hi again Contagious,
I am sorry to say I have taken the time to watch (well, I was multi-tasking , so it’s more to say that I listened to it) I, Psychopath.
It’s so irritating to watch and listen to Vaknin (although I was curious to see his wife, as her face is blurred out in The Narcissist’s Playbook.)
“…Sam is smart.”
I just don’t know…
The more I see of him the more I am not so sure. He either has a limit to his intelligence or his hubris keeps getting the better of him.
I did catch, towards the end of I, Psychopath, the scene where the filmmaker gets Vaknin being verbally abusive, towards the filmmaker himself, on camera (without Vaknin’s knowledge) and with witnesses in the background.
Obviously, he can spew psychological theory, dropping names from the field, quoting their research and he seems to know the history of psychology – but, how does someone so *uber* smart get drawn in repeatedly to situations, in front of a camera, where his poor behaviour is put on record? I know he likely believes he is above the law – but, he does not seem to be very careful at all.
It’s our friend the law of collateral consequences and his failure to have due regard to them is instructive.
Hi 1WC & Contagious,
Vaknin’s behaviors are very confusing to me. They don’t seem like behaviors of an aware narcissist. His arrogance makes him careless. Are aware narcissists that careless?
Mr. Tudor,
Will you be analyzing Vaknin at all? Is that going to be something you might possibly do with Isla?
I’m not going to do a standalone analysis, I’ve better things to do.
I may analyse some of his behaviour in conjunction with Isla Traquair. I’m currently reviewing material to determine if there’s anything to add beyond what has been stated already.
Mr. Tudor,
I know you’re a very busy man, and I appreciate everything you do for us.
I might’ve missed something. I’m just curious why Vaknin, a supposed aware narcissist, tells on himself. It seems very careless to me. If you could answer why he may do that, I would be most appreciative.
He is not as aware as one first thought, is the short answer. The clear collateral consequences he suffers points to multiple blind spots.
Mr. Tudor says, “He is not as aware as one first thought, is the short answer. ”
Your short answer is incredibly informative & cleared up some things for me.
Thank you, Mr. Tudor.
Hi Contagious,
Thank you for your comprehensive reply. The information you have outlined from a legal perspective is helpful.
From what you’ve said, it sounds like a civil suit or class action, if taken in the relevant or appropriate jurisdiction, would be the most say, ‘fruitful’ way to legally pursue Vaknin.
I wonder if coercive control laws would be relevant in relation to Vaknin’s alleged manipulation and abuse of his so-called ‘clients’? He publicly describes, in great detail, how he treats his female ‘victims’ so there is evidence to support his behaviour. He doesn’t keep it a secret.
This would depend on whether there are coercive control laws in the country or countries where the alleged abuse happened.
I’m not a legal expert by any stretch of the imagination, but it sounds to me like the consent of the victim would be under question in the course of Sam’s so-called ‘therapy’ (I’m literally grimacing and shaking my head as I type that word because the alleged abuse is full-blown assault, rape, and psychological torture; it’s definitely not ‘therapy’).
Hi Wiser Now:
Coercive control is a form of psychological abuse, Section 76 in UK prosecutes it, Ireland has laws on it and the Netherlands is working on it. All I could find as not the USA and I am only licensed in the USA: California and Nevada.
But again…. My legal opinion stands. Unless someone more recent goes to police and claims sexual assault … I don’t see any criminal prosecution.
His wife in I Psychopath says Sam is very verbally abusive but not physically. Sam took a neuroscience exam in Germany where the neuroscientist said he had no flip switch to controlling his emotions. All Clister B are aware of their actions at the time. They can choose. They know right from wrong. How they frame it later is another story.
Sorry folks but this hit piece in my legal opinion will pass. Sam ‘s victims are to the best of my knowledge not in countries that prosecute his horrific behavior. And if the woman was raped, she needed to go to police and get medical proof and file within the statute of limitations per country.. All Western societies recognize in law rape as a crime.
I am not aware of any police filings…..
I’m think Sam will skate…. At least for now in this life…..
Just my limited legal opinion as I am not a Macedonian attorney.
But yeah, the trial attorneys would scour him if here and the victims were here in civil court.
The United Kingdom has no statute of limitations on a serious crime such as rape.
Wow HG! That’s wonderful! The UK tends to be progressive on laws. Thank you for that! I don’t think Sam’s victims are from the UK… but I don’t know.
Only saw evidence I have seen so far is from the ones I read and saw as I paid to join Isla’s podcast and see the evidence. Plus I really like her! Sam refers to himself as a medical doctor in a text- now that could cause him legal problems… but again no idea what Macedonia laws are on the books and practice.
There are laws that are on the books and then there is the actual practice in enforcing the law. No idea but no doubt that there is a reason he moved there and doesn’t leave beyond his abject fear of heights ( now that doesn’t sound like a psychopath… extreme anxiety over heights…. He peed in a cup during his interview with Isla versus going up the stairs…. Gross!)
I change my mind. Isla will be sharing more evidence over time and she said she will be discussing legal avenues. Perhaps she has proper legal advice as I come from the USA.
Perhaps D-Day is coming.
Contagious,
“He peed in a cup during his interview with Isla versus going up the stairs…. Gross!”
That was so utterly cringey!! Ewww!
I just hope it was a disposable cup ☕
The apartment with the upstairs toilet above a military assault course-style spiral staircase sounds fun … 😳
Apparently he sat down to urinate as well.
Breaking news!
I got a message from Isla today. She is going to be revealing all the evidence against Sam and will be discussing “ legal avenues.” This lady is my hero!!!!!!!!!!! Hold onto your hats! I am thrilled that she is seeking the ultimate: real justice!
Also Sam has many accounts per Isla and it is believed he uses them to post on social media.
Her pantheon account is worth the monthly to me. She shares the evidence there. I like seeing the evidence. What I have seen so far is disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. I love brave strong women who fight for social justice! She has become one of my hero’s. I have a trial that will take all my time but it looks like this subject is just starting…….
Wow, Contagious.
Sounds like Isla is on a mission. That’s fantastic.
While listening to Isla’s podcast, I thought for a second that Richard Grannon’s fingerprints could be all over this and that it was a stitch-up.
Now I’m thinking if Isla has a lot of solid evidence, then there’s more substance to it.
It sounds like Isla knows what she’s talking about too. She has experience with investigations.
Grabbing will be taking advantage of this to attack Vaknin and make himself look like the hero.
Hi Contagious,
I am following Isla Traquair on Patreon as well.
Although, it’s a chore to see/hear more from Vaknin himself – I am glued to this case and want to witness how it pans out. Good for Isla for pursuing this.
I wanted to add…. Many of my clients and again I am licensed only in CA and NV worry about their assets in a lawsuit and some are concerned about criminal prosecution. More got damaged in a civil/ criminal transaction and worry if they sue… will there be a recovery??? People hide assets for many reasons especially criminals Here’s the deal: if you are in a prosecutors grip…. The plea deals are offered, ie you skip jail time or get less jail time if you PAY the victims. The prosecutor doesn’t care about the source or even if you can. So, if you have offshore accounts, properties in other people’s names or trusts even irrevocable for your children…100 LLCs, bank accounts with your funds in other people’s names, large loans from family or close friends that haven’t been paid, etc… etc… they don’t care. Somehow the most difficult criminal defendants… voila! Find the money to make the deal. It’s better than a civil case unless there is enough insurance. There are clever civil defendants who think they are judgment proof. Who use BK even to remain rich going from ABC Inc to AB Inc post BK. But there are ways around this for skilled attorneys. The closest I saw to judgment proof was a rich developer who had about 100 corporations and all his money in a UAE annuity. Same with the Chinese. You need the governments permission to sue and you cannot collect in general in China. Of course this means you must trust the UAE or China with your money… uhmmmmm. So if it’s a crime, and you lost work, suffered medical bills or psychologist bills etc… it’s actually a good idea to make a police report and get the prosecution on your side:) not saying civil should be ignored but no one is judgment proof. Again my legal perspective is limited to where I practice and only my opinion. But it MIGHT be relevant to other jurisdictions, I don’t know.
Let Justice rule!
Hi Contagious,
“Let Justice rule.”
From the comments under this post about the law and legal processes, it makes me sceptical about your statement here.
When I think about legal outcomes following certain recent crimes, and the public and media fallout for the victims of those crimes, it makes me think that the ‘law’ has a very long way to go to catch up to the reality of these kinds of situations.
I think the ‘law’ and law enforcement is very limited and progressive legal changes made to address crimes like coercive control, or narcissistic abuse in general, move at a glacially slow pace.
Wisernow:
Thank you for the tip! Will watch:)
You’re welcome, Contagious.
Hello HG:
Very tired as in trial this week and next but I keep getting messages from this “ Gronzo” catfish. He says Sam is an “aware narcissist” who would essentially would have been too smart to have any culpability whereas all “the other narcs” attached to the film are “unaware who have real victims”. He says he “couldn’t get past the first episode. “ And that I shouldn’t listen not listen as Isla is a train wreck waiting to happen.” This is my last message on the subject as I am no one’s flying monkey bitch or messenger. I won’t respond to the catfish again. But… it’s on your blog. And I suspect covert tactics. End of subject as the way to end it is to ignore which I shall do now but my final thumbs up in case someone is on cyber attack patrol. Again this fish was responding to many commenters on YOUR blog.
Also Wisernow:
I don’t know Grannon. Watched one clip where he attacked “ empaths.” I replied what’s wrong with having empathy for others?” That ended it and I know nothing about the breakup with Sam.
BUT and this is my opinion, Richard Grannon brought the victims to Isla. He had been in communication with them for 5 years. He introduced them to her.
I don’t care about the politics, the illnesses behind it, the motives. I want to see all the evidence but even in the bit I have seen. I want justice for them. And as is Islas goal to see no one else is s harmed by being a “ patient” of Sam’s. This isn’t coaching when someone says they are a therapist and/or medical doctor who “ treats a 20 year old in a vulnerable state” and has sex with and abuses …including rape. I haven’t seen any HARD evidence yet of “rape” but I have seen enough overall to be angry. Very angry. If you want to see the evidence, you must pay about 7.00 a month on Patreon. To me, it’s with a cup of coffee a month…
Wisernow!
Thank you! Watched it and a psychologist did a test (wonder if it was Dr. Hares) and the results were that he wasn’t a psychopath! He scored high on schizoid and paranoid but not a psychopath!
The director said he MIGHT be lying about it.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Very interesting documentary and you are right about what you said!
Thank you. I thought the documentary was interesting too.
When Sam Vaknin was taking the tests, which were questionnaires, it was unclear how truthful he was being about his answers.
As you mentioned, Contagious, he is smart and he’d be capable of answering the questionnaires falsely in order to skew the results, unless the test was designed in a way to minimise this happening.
Interesting. Dr. Hares test is supposed to be able to catch liars. I took it as did my ex. I thought it was obvious. Some of the questions are ridiculous.
Ted Bundy tested 95% on Dr Hares test.
Brain testing would be better, I think. He did some brain test that showed he had difficulty regulating emotion but not the type where they would look at grey matter, the Amygala- MRI and CT. I ordered a book on recent DNA/gene/genome research too.
But clearly Sam wanted to be found a psychopath. WEIRD!
Hi again Contagious,
The first questionnaire Sam Vaknin was given to answer in ‘I, Psychopath’ is called the ‘Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (PD version)’.
After doing a quick Google search, I found that this test is called ‘MMPI-2’ or ‘Scale 4: Psychopathic Deviate’ (which is a misleading name for it, by the way).
The MMPI was originally developed in the late 1930s and was first published in 1943. Back then, its purpose was to diagnose mental and personality ‘disorders’ in the sense that the so-called ‘disorders’ were facets of an individual’s personality that were considered different from existing ‘social norms’.
The thing that’s interesting is that back then, so-called ‘disorders’ were not considered to be full-blown pathological all-pervasive ‘disorders’ as they are now.
The DSM (Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) was first published in 1952. Its purpose was to help clinicians in the field to reach a diagnosis of a personality or mental condition.
The timing of when the two ‘tools’ of diagnosis were first developed, and the original purpose of each, is important.
Since the DSM has been in operation, personality and mental ‘disorders’ have morphed in general and collective attitudes into something more like all-encompassing ‘labels’. Once a label is attached to an individual, it is taken to be a kind of holistic ‘explanation’ of what is ‘wrong’ with the person.
I think this kind of belief system that the DSM has created and reinforced over the decades since it was introduced is misleading. An absolute reliance on ‘labels’ is, I believe, limited and restrictive. It also spills over into other areas of life, so that things like employment, insurance, other diagnoses, and the ‘confirmation bias’ of other healthcare providers is affected.
I think it’s both interesting and important to consider something Organisational Psychologist Belinda Board said in ‘I, Psychopath’, that is:
“Personality disorders are not these discrete ‘illnesses’ if you will, in inverted commas; discrete diseases using that medical model where you either have it or you don’t. Actually, these perhaps are just extensions of normal characteristics that each of us have, just in varying degrees.”
If you go back to the development and purpose of the MMPI as a questionnaire, it wasn’t meant to isolate ‘psychopaths’ from others who completed the test. Rather, it was meant to show the degrees of similarity or difference that various facets of personality had with the standard social norms at the time the test was taken.
lol My husband and I took the MMPI too. We had a two year custody battle. Now that test was LONG. They gave us both tests and did interviews and surprise visits and FBI checks. 2 years. $10,000 paid for it. My ex said I had psychosis ( I saw the drugs, cash and guns like people see flying pigs), and I said he was a criminal and that I was rightly concerned as his children from a prior marriage were not well: one in Juvie for arson, the other in a mental health center for bipolar. I got 80% custody. She said I was loving and nurturing but a mother bear. Not sure where mother bear fits into the DSM lol. He was ASPD but as I wrote she felt he was needed and she was right in the end. He did well as a father.
The Dr Hare test was shorter and weird. P… something. I don’t recall them asking “ when you were little did you torture animals?” But I recall thinking WTF at some of the questions on it…..
A lot is genes too… I firmly believe some psychopaths are born that way. An environment can make it worse… but there is less evidence that narcs are simply born that way. HG is right.
But both know right from wrong. There is a choice. And they both should be held accountable in my opinion.
After what I have seen so far… and there are allegedly 1000s of documents including videos and photos, Sam must pay. I don’t know the laws in Macedonia and if any of the victims are in other countries…. But Isla has looked into it:)
Ahhh Sam did score 18 out of 24 on Dr Hares test. Yup he is one. The other psychologist test missed it. I trust Hare.
I’d argue in the other direction Contagious. I think he wants to be a psychopath, was familiar with Hare’s test and how to interpret it, so answered in favour of scoring as a psychopath. The other test he would be less familiar with so it would be more difficult for him to fix a result of psychopath.
I agree with that observation TS. His narcissism would direct him to do this. It is similar to how unaware narcissists of the Mid Range persuasion would give answers that would accord with being seen as a kind person/an empathic/a compassionate individual.
Thank you for the additional explanation HG.
Hello HG:
My deepest and sincere thanks. Without your video I would never known about Mohammad. I saw your video on YT on the Silent Empath and it brought me to tears. Oddly I don’t cry a lot over pain but I cry at beauty especially when in a church. This man is my hero…. To think such beauty exists on planet Earth… I feel honored to share a planet with him. I know it’s crazy but I almost wish your entire blog was geared towards Empaths with narcissists being less present as this story fills my heart and soul. It reminds me of how we should be. It literally leaves me awestruck. What’s interesting is he has the almost the same classes and cadres as me with the Contagian, small percent super, matyr, geyser but he has savior and I have carrier. I mean I would be lucky to be able to touch the hem of his jacket compared to him. Like my Saint like Aunts, I feel almost embarrassed to be me when this man exists. Perhaps it’s the Savior. Makes sense there. But it’s weird to be so closely classed with classes and cadres and yet feel so far down the chain to their character and achievements. Why is that? Is it that our emotional make up is the same way but some of us are simply not as successful? This man inspires me to do more, to be more humble, to remember always what really matters and how one person can make a difference. Again thank you.
By the way I can’t bake. Unlike the others here, It would be an insult to give you something I made in both appearance and taste. But as I recall you like Creed and pretty blue soap:) Since you can’t receive it, my gratitude to you for stories such as this and the Dolly tribute too whose death made the entire world a little less shiny…. Loved your tribute… I will just keep buying everything you sell. Look forward to your book on psychopathy and manipulation 2.
Thanks… sincerely….
Hi Truthseeker,
I agree with you that he likely lied on the test. The link is to an online, likely abbreviated psychopathy test on Psychology Today.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/tests/personality/psychopathy-test
I don’t know if Hare’s Assessment is lengthier or has a validity scale or other ways to detect deception. I think a sufficiently intelligent person who wants a specific result is easily able to get it, especially if they know a little about it.
Overall most psychological tests are only as good as participants are honest and self aware. And most people are worse at detecting lies than they think they are. Mr. Tudor has a video where he describes lying to a friend about finishing first in a race, and the way he detailed the lie was fascinating. I remember thinking Mr. Tudor sounded satisfied with his masterly deception as HR outlined why it was a good lie in the video.
Hi Dani,
It’s good to see you back commenting again 🙂
Thank you for the link. Love me a personality test! I suspect as you said, the psychopathy checklist is more involved and weighted. I agree with you, honest people want to know their score, they don’t try to influence a bespoke outcome, whereas someone who understands the test and wants to manipulate it could do so.
I remember the HG recollection you are referring to. I read an article a while ago about a study psychologists conducted into lying. People used to think that lots of detail meant that a person was being truthful. Apparently it’s the other way around. Truthful people tend to use less detail. I suppose it also depends on where the detail lies. I know that low functioning psychopaths when interviewed about a crime often spend unnecessary amounts of time giving detail about what they did that morning, what they had for breakfast, what time the postman came round and so on, as much or more detail than they put into their account of the crime itself. This might be what they meant in the study in terms of excessive details.
In HG’s example, my impression was that it was the certainty that caused the lie to be accepted. If HG says something with a steadfast certainty and confidence, (no fear) I would imagine it would be received as truth.
Hi Truthseeker,
I think I have some questions in moderation. I have been trying to wait as I really am interested in answers to them.
I’m sure you’re right that the confidence helps the lies be accepted. I also would be hesitant to enter a serious argument with Mr. Tudor (on the blog and even more so in person if I knew it was him). It just seems like a bad idea. *Skips about Tudor Tower in sapphire blue dress* 🎶 Positive fuel, positive fuel… don’t be a fool by giving challenge fuel. He’ll have fun, but you’ll cry if you fail to comply 🎶
Hey Dani,
I’m looking forward to seeing your questions too. It has been a while!
I’m not so sure. I don’t think HG has any issue with people having a different opinion on a subject, so long as they can back that opinion up logically, or have at least thought it through. It would be stimulation, challenge fuel too as you said. Ultimately, HG would get control irrespective, so I think he would likely be more interested in the stimulation.
In real life, different thing. I suppose it would depend on how the person was painted and what the needs / objectives were at any given time.
Anyway, how come you get to swoosh around in the fancy blue dress?! I only ever get the black dress with the apron and feather duster. Could you just give me a hand moving this sheela na gig?
Xx
Hi Dani! Excellent point and info!!!!
Hey Truthseeker,
I know. One can never be certain of what Mr. Tudor wants. I never worry about him having control over me…
I got sapphire blue and swishy…because I asked to wear his favorite color…and I am allowed to serve him afternoon tea and an occasional homemade scone (for tea). *gives Mr. Tudor Heart Eyes* I even got to bring him a bottle of Deutz once.
Mr. Tudor, may TS wear sapphire blue, please? Truthseeker sounded a little spicy about her uniform.
Hi Dani,
That cracked me up no end!
Jam first, then the clotted cream 😉
Xx
I agree. The alternative is the mark of a philistine.
(Debbie from Devon just unsubscribed.)
I will not forget, TS…jam then clotted cream…I really would enjoy baking fresh scones for HG. I hope he would allow me to do so if he ever lets us pay to be in the presence of his magnificent self and I can afford it.
You can bake and send me scones without being in my presence. I’ve received cookies and cakes from generous Tudorites who baked them for me and jolly tasty they were too. I’ve also received jam and artwork too, many of my followers are wielding particular talents.
Dani,
“I really would enjoy baking scones for HG.”
My scones always end up as rock cakes. Xx
I’ll stick with your inquisitive mind and helpful nature TS over your baking ability!
Damn you’re good HG!
A phrase I have often heard and read.
Scones and cookies and jam, oh my! My main concern was timely delivery as you travel so frequently. You made my day, sir!
Dear Mr Tudor,
Was it jam from TOW? 🤣
Good point TS! It’s hard from what I have read to manipulate the test but Dr. Hare himself admitted that his test was not absolute. From what I understand to make that determination, you must look at school records, whether they went to prison or criminal history and interviews etc….
*Correction: ‘I, Psychopath’ was completed and first released in 2009 (and not 2008 as I mentioned here).
Wisernow:
Great analysis. I have always questioned Sam and others position on 0-3. But thank you for your input on a father’s role. I agree with you about the fathers.
And the traditional “ blame the mother” approach excludes genetics too, the fact the brain is developing, peers, other members in a child’s life such as extended family, teachers, etc….
Thanks
You’re welcome, Contagious.