Fuel Your Understanding

Available now

Understand what fuel is and you will understand the narcissist

US    http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B018W7XYZA

UK    http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B018W7XYZA

CAN  http://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B018W7XYZA

AUS   http://www.amazon.com.au/gp/product/B018W7XYZA

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16 thoughts on “Fuel Your Understanding”

  1. I finished this book today and the mystery ended. Finally I could apply to my every day life what narcissistic supply is… All understood. This book is narcissism uncovered, unplugged, exposed. I cant thank you enough for this book HG. Well done. You do it so well that maybe this is why me like some of the other ladies who post still keep up the hopes for you. With this book I understood how my boyfriend whom I am very much in love with, changed his matrix and improved considerably his relationships and this is how we are still together. With your book I understood that he picked some special people in his life where he strives to only get positive fuel and the rest of the list i guess is on the negative fuel but Not in a cruel way but more on arguments and being contrary. He also strives to apply ethical principles in his life although the devaluation and discard cycle is still pretty obvious in some of his relationships. We try together to understand and accept the N flaws and the codependency flaws.. Although he does not know I know.
    On the other side the modus operandi of the beast is clear but not so much crystal as the supply. Is it a voice in your head??
    Some months ago during a discussion he told me that my shopping impulses were due to a shopping beast that I had in my head. That everytime I saw something I liked the beast would crawl out of its cave and tell me ” cmon buy this now, look how beautiful” and even if in my brain I thought I shoulf not buy it, the beast would not leave me in peace until I buy it” i was pretty surprised ” what on earth?” I have no such beast nor such voices….
    Do you have a book on the beast? Is it a voice? A fear you feel in your chest? A panic attack??
    Super good job. Thanks again.

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    1. Thank you Nikita, high praise indeed. I am pleased you found it insightful. Perhaps you might post a review? I am interested in how you have applied it to your boyfriend and it show how he has organised his supplies in a certain way which you now understand and can grasp. Do you think that you will now do anything with regards to your boyfriend and how he behaves now that you have gained this understanding? Will you alter your behaviour in any way? As for your questions about the beast, well watch this space…….

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    2. Based on your high remarks on “Fuel”, I have downloaded this evening to read this week.

      Merry Christmas to you Nikita!

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      1. Hi clarence
        I think its the best explanation on narcissistic suppy i ever read. Pay attention to the math its there for s purpose.. And like its in the book a narcs NS iS all about the math where there are two variable. The type of fuel provider and the type of fuel provided and when you put it in a matrix then you get it all on the mystery of narcissistic supply. Its true that Academically i had alot to do with leontief economical models where a matrix is the basis but HG does a very good job in explaining it simply to be able to apply it to your daily life. The discussion with V yesterday also illustrates the theory of the book. I coul add a third variable to the matrix which would be the type of Narc (sadistic, psychopath etc) but I guesd tjat would make it to complicated. Enjoy the reading and also Merry Christmas. I hope that with all the knowledge we gain here, we all can improve on emotional intelligence and find real happiness one day 😃☀️.

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  2. Hi HG
    Review is posted. My BF speaks alot about the important people in his life ( me and few good friends) and from there he extracts mainly positive fuel and I the positive fuel from his friends are ranked very high. I am also subject to negative fuel which is mainly how I can mantain to the standards in saving my energy ( dont know why as i dont have any construct) , or anything which does not come near to him… Its difficult sometimes I have to admit. And I need to love him like I love him and to admire him like I do to keep my patience as I believe what fuels him is acknowledgement and admiration rather than tears and drama. I think this kind of negative reactions dont fuel him from the circle of the chosen people.. The rest of the list I guess has to do the drama.. I am not sure but I suppose… He is nevertheless looking for lots lots lots of positive fuel.
    He is extremely charming, handsome and skilled so wherever interaction generates positive fuel and he has alot of it. It does not bother me that he is the center of attractiom everywhere. All the time and wherever he can. I believe this balanced the account enough so that the negative fuel is not needed so much and like this he can have better relationships.
    I think it gets a point where the people sibject to negative fuel abandon the narcisist in agreement to Sam V’s theory.
    My attitude basically wont change with all this knowledge that I got from your book fuel but the great help was first the understanding how, why and for what and second Ill be able to predict what kind of fuel is being searched and to try to project his fuel balance depending on the interactions we have… Dont know if I explain myself….
    This is I agree very difficult for me but I see how he really tries to get positive fuel and surprisingly in a way that ive never seen him submitt to anything and anyone.
    He remains superior but almost always in a good way….
    I hope it stays like this…
    Did I answer your question??

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      1. I started reading evil now that I sit in a tram for a while… Funny you dont sound such an evil person to me anymore… You did in the beggining though …you are stil a malignant narc like described by vaknin or this spartan coach or ross R but almost two months after reading you, I dont think anymore about an evil person… But my best friend or ex-best friend i have to say, she was one who could be very nice but could also be really literally evil when crossed…. And she would even send me pictures of Chucky with whom she identified herself with.
        In 14 years she had never hurtmy feelings and the time she did she really hurt them bad… And hurt and tired of her evilness I left the friendship.
        I will let you know my thoughts when I finish.

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  3. Hi Nikita, I was wondering do u know he gets good fuel from other females, is it ok with u if it were sexual, flirtation.. I know a wonderful narc, very well, worked for him, became friends, he’s never shows anger or puts me down, only builds me up after so long, full of charm and seems to only want positive fuel yet its very obvious to me he charms many, many if he can.. Good looking and holds a high position yet hard to be so sweet back all the time when i know what i know., i hide it, to acknowledge it would put him on defense and he denies it all, insists he only wants me, have u experienced this.. Thanks, Kelli

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  4. Hi kelli. Sorry it took me so so long to answer.
    Sexual flirts would not be okay with me. What he does is flirt with every woman in shops , restaurants, streets by making himself funny and saying pleasant things to them. I dont know if he flirts sexually with other women but I suppose so according to the readings….
    Me like you I only get to give positive fuel and a very dedicated man… Also very good looking and high position.. But since I started reading this blog and HG’s books it all lost the magic 😓😓. Sometimes I read situations, in the blogs or in the books or words, or sentences that could be my life…
    So to read part of my life with him in HG’s books and blogs somehow killed something inside of me… Apart that it created fear to sometimes read sentences or situations in this site…. Sorry if I dissapoint you….
    Yesterday I bought escape and departure inminent because I dont want to have a relationship with fear or wondering what is real and what not…
    I do as HG and Sam Vaknin say…. Get out as soon as possible… Its going to be really really really hard.. But I can do it 👍🏻👍🏻… And I hope you too. Lets keep in touch .
    Big hug.

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