Madame Time Outstrides Us All

The end of the year. A time for reflection no doubt as you consider what has come to pass in the past twelve months. For many of you it will have been a turbulent year as you deal with someone like me in your life. You may still be locked in the dance with our kind and now sit reflecting on the cost that has been extracted from you to engage in this unrelenting whirlwind of ups and downs. Others of you will perhaps be a little further on the road to recovery having uncoupled yourself from the narcissist in your life and you are now dealing with the emotional aftermath of this most toxic of relationships. My observation and imagination causes me to recognise that you are doubtless surrounded by a vast array of emotions, emotions that are alien and unachievable to me. That does not concern me. I have explained how I must be unburdened from such feelings in order to be the person that I am. You, by contrast, flick through pain, regret, joy, elation and hope as you engage in the customary nostalgia that takes place t this time of year. Not I. I seldom reflect on what has been. I only do so in order to better recall my past conquests and achievements and for the purposes of spreading my works amongst you all. I prefer to look forward. Dwelling serves no purpose, old fuel is no fuel to me. I am always looking forward, anticipating, contemplating and evaluating. I must drive forward, always forwad, for if I stop I will vanish. That is the fate that awaits me and it is one I accept and do so without complaint. This is how it must be for me and I embrace it.

Thus as we stand on the cusp of a New Year (those readers in the east will nearly be there by the time this appears on their devices) I would like to thank you for reading and contributing. Your comments, observations and questions are all received with my customary polite thanks for I realise that I cannot dance alone and I need you too. So, thank you for your involvement so far, thank you for sparring with me, complimenting me, insulting me or just for reading my words. I look forward to our relationship continuing in 2016.

HG

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25 thoughts on “Madame Time Outstrides Us All”

  1. Thanks HG for this timely reminder as I’m about to block my narc on FB before sending him a final message to say “Happy New Year”. I’ll probably always think of him, but I refuse to play the game any longer.

    Wishing you a very happy 2016 (you do happiness, right?!)

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    1. Hi Megan ..I wouldn’t send that message if I were you , to him it will just show that you’re ” still thinking about him tonight .

      The best message you can send him though is Block him without saying a single word xx

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  2. HG,
    Thank you for being you openly. I’m reading my last book of the 7 I bought. It’s the 50 things… Book.
    In all my years of searching and reading, therapy, blogs and conversations your column and books were at last the key for me.
    This last and short reconciliation w the N proved to be my strongest interactions w him ever. I’m happy with how I conducted myself with him and how I ended it. I at last felt I walked away with some dignity and self worth. And… For once I walked away. I have to say had it not been for all of your work that I may have just ended up a puddle again. I feel ok and like I’m going to make it even though busting him on cheating was heartbreaking for me.
    Your writings are absolutely valuable in this world, I don’t understand you at all, but I’m happy you are willing to be who you are for us. So thanks HG, you are doing a world of good for us through you’re writings.

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  3. I am now reading “Manipulated”. I will read all of the books.
    I want to know how this works so that it never happens again. I have been involved with more than one N. Your books are the best I have read yet.
    “Never put the keys to your happiness in someone else’s pocket”.
    I refuse to be burdened and unhappy. I will not let him win! Suffering is what he wants. 2016 is going to be a good year.
    Happy New Year, HG

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  4. HG I have no idea how I stumbled across your blog .. maybe still looking for answers.. I think. . Ty for sharing

    Happy New Year to you

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  5. Indeed, time is running out. Just think! Very soon everyone but your kind will be perfect and live forever, completely satisfied. I’d never trade a moment of bliss for an eternity of bliss. Bad call dude! But, appears you’re stuck with your choice. Question: did you devour the entire human or just take over his body?

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      1. HG,
        Would you say most of the time you feel happy and like you are enjoying life? Do you feel good often. Sometimes I wish I could be like you.
        It seems you N’s have it all in a lot of ways. Is there a downside?

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      2. I don’t feel happy, not the way it has been described to me. I feel powerful and that is what works for me. I feel powerful often and relish that sensation as it is what pleases me. The only downside is being criticised, it is unnecessary and wounding. It is natural to want to be like me though, I understand that.

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      3. It may appear you have it all, but I’m not sure you do. You’re never satisfied constantly hunting. Surely this must become tedious and tiresome having to rely on others for fuel. So you never wish that you could be sated without the reliance on others, who you clearly think let you down ??

        Doesn’t sound great to me waking up empty everyday .😔

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      4. I get your point, but God I’d love to be able to dodge some of the emotional pain and other things I go through. They don’t feel it and there for move right along in no time, I’d like that ability. I’d also like the ability to be able to move on sexually.

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      5. I really get what you mean V, I’ve never felt pain like it when I was discarded suddenly and he married 14 weeks later after claiming there wasn’t anyone else. I then discovered lots of his dirty secrets. The pain is beyond anything I’ve ever felt and never want to feel that way again.
        Regarding the sexual side again I’d love to be able to switch that off to. We have to try and remember they’re fake and empty with the possibility of ending up empty and alone with no fuel and the creature will consume them. We may end up single but we won’t be empty we have the capacity to feel. Although whilst in the dance with a narc its a curse. X

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      6. Right now my ability to feel is still not working for me. I used to think I was the more fortunate one- but then I’m always heartbroken, hurting and feeling empty because I love/ loved this man and can’t seem to move on NO MATTER what he does., He on the other hand seems to get stronger, better out there and is living life to its fullest. Nothing gets him down for long. I wish I had some of that in me. I do not feel like the luckier one at all.

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      7. That’s how I feel V, I struggle from day to day some days better than others. When I was first discarded I didn’t even want to get up out of bed, couldn’t function or think straight. I just cried and cried. He would read my messages and not reply. I then found out he was engaged, then married this was all as I’ve said many times within a 14 week span. He’d left all his stuff at mine and left me to care for the dog he’d insisted we get. I’d gone from being asked to up sticks and move to India with him on secondment, with the plans in place for our future together on return. Marriage, new house, happy times. To discard with no warning and he was off and married to someone else, frollicking in ‘love’ My life was destroyed, no future for me. 7 mths later I’m trying to piece back my life bit by bit and it still hurts to think of him happy with her laughing, joking, exploring new things. Everything we were supposed to do together. Some days I feel worthless but I have to take back control of my destiny and that’s what I’m trying to do.with the help of this blog, H Gs inspiring books and my friends and family. Learning to love myself again and realise I don’t need him or his fake happiness.

        Hope one day you can feel alive again V.
        Xx

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  6. Hi Freedom I know this must hurt and you want the attention back and this person in your life, yet what has the other woman won? She hasnt won anything, no prize.. She will be lied to and cheated on. Is that the prize you want?? Think hard about that please and realize you have won.. Stop the ruminating thoughts of what u might miss and know you deserve an honest relationship with trust, where you never have to live second guessing, Give yourself time and keep busy. Again you lost no prize

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    1. Hi Kelli

      I know what you’re saying is true but my heart is broken even though my head knows I’m better off and he’s no loss. But he must have conditioned me exceptionally well as I keep trying my hardest not to love who I thought I had created a life with. Hopefully in time I’ll move on and learn to live again. In reference to trust I’ll never trust another man ever!!!
      I may stay in my own but they can’t hurt me then x

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