New Year, New Prey

As you read this you may be holding your head in your hands. Some of you may just be nursing a hangover although others of you will be holding your heads out of despair at another bout of maladjusted behaviour that you have been subjected to from our kind. It is a New Year and with that I should imagine that you are making your resolutions and vowing that this time things will change. Whereas other sites may be espousing the virtues of a revolutionary diet or unique exercise regime, the benefits of a January which is alcohol free or yes this year you will learn to speak Spanish, those matters need not concern us. Perhaps you will be resolving to put in place some of the knowledge that you have learned from my writing here and in my books. If so, you are sailing towards exciting horizons. Others of you may be swearing that enough is enough and you are going to leave and this time you will not go back. Go on, make that vow to yourself and see if it lasts any longer than your dedication to the treadmill.

My many years of practising my dark art has made me most familiar with the injection of resolve that comes with the first of January. You have dusted away the embers of the dying year and have sought to erase the pain and humiliation that marred much of the passing year of your life. The abuse, the denigration and the savage treatment you have been the victim of will loom large in the mind but you have found a spark of strength from somewhere, there is the flickering flame of optimism that has begun to burn inside of you. You declare that you will not allow our toxic breath to blow this flame out. We will not extinguish it with a smothering boot or the application of freezing cold water to your plans. This time it will be different. All this hope. All this optimism. I can almost taste it.

As one can detect a change in the air with the change of seasons so it is the same with the arrival of a New Year. The empath emerges from his or her slumber and stretches, keen to really shine in the year ahead and to find their self once more. They are keen to cast aside the poisonous cloak that was draped around them, lift the crown of thorns and strip away the clinging tendrils. Such enthusiasm is most laudable. Guess what? You are not the only ones. This year my reach shall be extended and my charm magnified. My sweet, sweet words of seduction shall fall with practised ease upon the willing ears of the supplicants that I have selected. My dark eyes will fix on the appliances that line-up, brimming with that potent fuel. So many appliances to connect to, so much fuel that must be harvested. I will ensure that this year my fuel will be the best I have ever known, I shall soar to new achievements and have eyes shining with admiration every where I go. My foes will lie crushed beneath my booted feet, the cloven hooves concealed from their broken gaze as I breach new boundaries, violate new pastures and conquer fresh virgin territory. Your hope and dedication only serves to spur me on to achieve even greater things in this year ahead.

For every promise of progress that you all make rest assured that I am doubling up on my manipulative strength. When you swear you will break free, I pledge that I will imprison. Every time you assert your desire to escape from my grip, I will tighten it further. You seek to shine a light in your attempt to be a beacon of hope. I will appear and snuff out those beams of light with the malice that surrounds me.

You can exist without having to place your arms around the world. I cannot exist without my fuel. You have a choice. I have none. I am destined to walk this earth forever in my unceasing quest for fuel. Whilst you take delight and solace in so many things, I am beholden to my task of securing fuel from so many that I encounter. They say that after toil comes rest ; not for me and my kind.

So, make those resolutions, dust off your pledges and polish up your good intentions. It is a New Year and the battle for new prey has just been joined.

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24 thoughts on “New Year, New Prey”

      1. by empowering myself. by not taking shit from anyone again. putting boundaries in place and using them. by spending the last 4 years studying about sociopathy and narcissism. two years ago I started a support group for victims of sociopathy and now have over three thousand five hundred members and together we are educating each other about personality disorders. just like you can smell us coming a mile away I can smell you coming now. empowerment is an amazing thing.

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      2. Very interesting indeed. Would you say you can detect a narc pretty promptly now? Roughly speaking, from your support group which PD is the most prevalent and which causes the greatest damage?

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      3. I think they all cause severe damage to HSP’s and “normal” people, what ever that is , the most prevalent I would say is narcissism although my experience has been with sociopaths but hey all sociopaths are narcissists so that’s a tough question. either way they all do damage and hurt those who try to love them. and hell yes I can tell within usually the first contact with someone if they have a personality disorder or not. just like you I have learned to use my senses when detecting these kinds of people. I just get the feeling in my gut that something isn’t right ad I have learned that when I get this feeling its time to remove them from my life I just don’t play any more. it takes two to tango with a sociopath. don’t play.

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      4. Yes the gut instinct is a good indicator, too often people do not listen as we distract them with lots of shiny and sparkling words and things. I would be interested to hear more from your members if you would be minded to raise this blog with them. Naturally, it is not something everyone can handle but I should imagine your members would have some interesting observations and would interact well with the others who post here.

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      5. I have actually posted some of your stuff there so they can see a different “point of view’ but my members have been hurt very badly and their privacy is most important to me. im about as close as youll get no offense lol

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      6. None taken. Thank you for posting the links there. I know the damage that is done to people and know from places where my work has been posted elsewhere it needs to come with a trigger warning. If those who read it choose to join the discussion and read more here so much the better.

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  1. That knife you stuck in my back became useful when it came time to cut ties with you.
    That’s what I want to tell him if he shows back up.

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  2. Happy New Year!!

    In the wise words of Aleister Crowley: May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early! My own plan is to swear off every kind of virtue, so that I triumph even when I fall! ;D

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  3. Woke up to a 3 word text from my ex-narc.. “Happy New Year” I have to admit, I felt a small bit of pity for him.. because I’m sure he thought I was probably waiting to hear from him. Mostly pity for the fact his kids and ex-wife are probably having a horrible time having him at home and bearing the brunt of his temper. He’s justifies still living in the family home because ‘his ex would be lost without him to take care of everything”. Anyway.. I’ve filled my time quite easily and enjoying the time I have left before the holidays are over and I have to carefully avoid the ex.. we work together.. thankfully I’ve been able to have my shift rescheduled so we work opposite hours 🙂
    Happy New Year and happy hunting HG

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    1. Hi Shelia, thanks for your post. When did matters end with your ex narc? Given you are near to his sphere of influence at work I should imagine you will face more hoovers.

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      1. Hi HG, it’s been just a few months and you’re right, the hoovering attempts have still been coming. I’ve managed to avoid and deflect them. In truth I was already deflecting them before he decided that he ‘didn’t have time for our relationship’, yet had asked me to accompany him to the staff Christmas party or just to go for coffee. I’m afraid I wasn’t very receptive to hearing about how horrible his ex-wife was to him and asked him several times to not talk about her when we were together.I was never one to get overly hurt when he ‘forgot’ dates or cancelled last minute. A few things he said to me in the past have made me see things a little clearly now. How I ‘learn my lessons very quickly’ and have ‘more patience then anyone he’s ever known’ were probably (at least I think so now) more of a complaint that I didn’t provide enough fuel when he needed it. I’m well aware that he will continue his attempts to hoover from me, but I’m prepared and finding that I’m quite happy on my own. My ‘super-empath’ self is kept busy with animal rescue. 🙂

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  4. I am for sure staying on the treadmill 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻. The emotional detachment to the narcissist and the attachment to oneself (selflove) is the key.
    Youre blogs and books and specially fuel were the clue to detachment.

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  5. I don’t do New Year new resolution… that is something that can be achieved at any time every day. Your words are mesmerizing alone, no matter the evil behind them. I am glad I am far from your chaos… my narc may have been able to keep me hooked with words if he could describe his desires with such passion. Oh well…I’ll just keep hiding in books and my mind until I can break the cycle. Happy New Year!

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  6. I do not seek to shine a light in an “attempt” to be a beacon of hope. It just is. That ability is at the essence of my soul and to give unconditional love which your creature imprisons you from doing so. In a twisted way, it’s almost comforting to know that is why Junior Narc will repeat his hoovers, because that is truly something worth coveting when you can’t mimic or manufacture for yourself. Understanding the push / pull so much better thanks to you.
    Happy New Year and Happy Hunting in 2016, H.G.

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  7. Hello again HG…it’s a new year for all…for some of us a chance for a new start, enlightened, wiser, more aware…What’s new for you? I imagine a continued need to fill the emptiness and to keep the creature at bay. The need to stalk new prey and reveal as they slowly become the shell of the person they were and to sit back and watch the power of your destructive capabilities?

    I have been thinking about this creature within you. Why not face it? What is it that makes you want to keep it locked down? When you looked in the mirror as requested by Dr E, and you saw your younger self – why throw down the mirror and run. Face your fears…face your demons…we have to face and endure the behaviours of your kind, the demon that is shown…surely you can repay us by facing yours?

    I was reading an article about Narcissistic Personality Disordered individuals and using a compassionate mind approach to help such individuals reconcile the demonic voices within them. Whist I get this is probably way off your radar…a compassionate narcissist? That’s like trying to mix oil with water!..the essence was how to help access their shame and thus working with the narcissistic defence that has been built. You came to mind because I wondered whether there was a part of you that wanted to help, despite your assertions that you write not because you care but instead because you enjoy writing, you and yes, I also get that your blogs are a never ending pot of fuel for you…However, I was wondering about shame…is this something that you feel, albeit fleetingly? have you been shamed by those close to you. Is your Fury and need for power a way of managing your shame?

    I was also thinking that if you ‘tame’ your narcissism, what is left of you? What is left for you? Being the way your are gives you purpose…if that is no more…if you are equal…what might that be like for you?

    I like the New Year…it’s hopeful…

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    1. What’s new for me? Nothing save new prey and your first paragraph sums it up rather well. Why should I face something I do not want to? Why face something when I can keep it at bay doing what I do? This works. That is why I do it.

      Thanks for your observations concerning compassion although my skin crawled when I read it. I carried on reading though out of courtesy to you for raising it and I do enjoy discussion. I understand what you are saying and Dr E has mentioned something similar but I soon dismissed it since I suffer no shame. I do not want to help. I attend to my needs and if people get something from what I write then fair enough – as I have mentioned I am a firm believer in self-determination for those who I cannot influence (if I can influence someone then I determine their fate) and by harnessing what I write and the postings of others it will assist people in determining a path from them. My fury is a need to manage the wounds caused by criticism not shame.
      As to your final questions I don’t know the answer to that. Perhaps that is something to ask again following further consultations with the good doctors. Ha ha, yes I like the hope and promise of new year too!

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      1. ha ha ha…Oh HG! made me laugh when I read that your ‘skin crawled’ on reading about Compassion; such a common response amongst your kind! Still I thank you for your courtesy.

        I too enjoy discussion – particularly when there are two such different approaches. I must say I did wonder what you think about the idea of being compassionate and what compassion means to you, and I am pleased that Dr E had mentioned something similar. This, I thought would present a challenge for you.

        Do you experience a critical voice in your head that speaks loudly to you – no doubt somewhere on your blogs you have written about this and what you hear or see. How does the criticism present? – if I am making huge sweeping assumptions here and if I am completely off the mark, I do apologise. But why be so dismissive? I understand that developing a compassionate other and mind can significantly ‘reduce’ the experiences of critical voices or whatever form the criticism presents. Do you not want to experience being free of the fury? What would you imagine life to be like if these wounds were healed or no longer affecting you?

        I read this quotation the other day – thought it apt…

        “Compassion is a multi-textured response to pain, sorrow and anguish…above all compassion is the capacity to open to the reality of suffering and to aspire to its healing”

        Can you open yourself to your suffering and try and consider working with the good doctors to reduce it?

        I am wondering whether at this point, your skin has crawled so far of your back your bones are exposed! 🙂

        Part of me wants to apologise for my intrusion into your personal self – I get your behaviour; I want to understand that part of you that stays hidden…

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