Tractor Beam

I recently received an e-mail which was a pleasant surprise and immediately attracted my interest. It was from Lesley. You may remember that Lesley is a former girlfriend of mine and I used to call her ‘it’ which really got to her. When I devalued her I would conduct a running commentary on her as if she was not there and would always call her ‘it’. It really got to her. She would become frustrated, cry and beg me to stop it. If I then called her by her name she was so relieved she became so easy to control. I always enjoyed this verbal method of manipulation. Her e-mail read as follows:-

‘Hi HG

I hope you are well. I am sure you are. I am in the city next Friday and I wonder if you would be free for lunch. Nothing more mind I know what you are like! It would be lovely to have a catch up and see how you are doing.

Lesley xx’

I reflected on the e-mail before I replied. Of course I would be happy to meet for lunch. I had not seen Lesley in almost three years since she moved to a different city a few hundred miles away. I toyed with her for a while afterwards sending her text messages and e-mails and they drew a response at first but eventually she changed those details and vanished from Facebook so she was put on ice as I busied myself with my other appliances. I knew she would get in touch with me at some point, you just cannot help but want to know what I am doing, who I am with and most of all to try and find out if I am sorry for what I did to you. I regarded this as an opportunity to remind Lesley of how brilliant I am and I would treat her to lunch at a decent restaurant, one where I was well known and bound to be well looked after by the staff which would impress her no doubt. I responded to Lesley in the following manner

Hello dearest Lesley,

How lovely to receive a missive from you. You still often invade my consciousness and only last week I was remembering the time we went to Nice for that break. I was thinking about going again and we had such a super time didn’t we Lesley? Anyway I would be delighted to meet up for lunch. I will book somewhere fabulous and it is on me, it is the least I can do. Let me know your number Lesley and I will text you time and place.

Fond regards

HG xxx

I flicked on my tractor beam as Lesley the It Girl came within my orbit once again. We traded a few e-mails which I kept pleasant, light and flirty, always making reference to her name. She sent me her mobile number which of course had altered from the one that I once had. I stored that and used it just the once to text her the details of the booking.

Friday came and I arranged for two of my lieutenants to be in the restaurant.One male and one female. I arranged for them to wander over once Lesley and I were in situ. Lieutenant One was to congratulate me on a recent deal and comment how I was making waves in the industry. Lieutenant Two was to thank me for dinner the other evening and ask me to call her when I had chance. I picked a restaurant which served Thai food as this was a favourite of Lesley’s and I decided I would give her a little gift by way of acknowledging that I had not always treated her as well as I ought to have done. I made sure I was ten minutes early and waiting in the bar area for Lesley so she would not have to wait. She arrived on time and looked very well. Her face lit up when she saw me waiting and my tractor beam grew ever stronger as she walked over to me embracing me on the cheek.

Lunch was most pleasant. I ensured I kept using her name, saying Lesley after most of my comments to her. I was polite, charming and good company. My lieutenants acquitted their assigned roles and I could see that Lesley was impressed from the admiring glances that she sent me and the questions she asked afterwards. I responded in a modest fashion brushing away her compliments. I ensured I asked plenty of questions about her, where she was now working, whether she had a boyfriend (she was dating), how her family was, what she did at weekends and so on and so forth. I ensured I referred to events from our golden period with fondness and affection and she totally engaged with my stance. She offered no resistance and kept the compliments and admiration coming my way. Even when she moved on to the topic of my treatment of her I apologised and nodded as I allowed her to express her hurt and pain. Her eyes welled with tears and the emotion pouring from her obscured the inherent criticism in her comments as I drank deep of the fuel and my fury remained in check. I explained how my immaturity had the better of me then and I had changed from those grasping days.

I was flirtatious throughout but did not press her in anyway so she felt that she had a vestige of control over our situation even though she was very much in the grip of my tractor beam. Our lunch lasted for two and a half hours and as I settled the bill I looked at Lesley.

“Well, that was most enjoyable Lesley. We must do it again. I really enjoyed hearing how you have been getting on and I have to say I am really proud of you.”

She smiled and looked at the table and back up at me. The admiration shining in her eyes was immense.

“Thank you. I have enjoyed it too. I would like to keep in touch HG and you have my number.”

“Yes and you have mine. Feel free to call me whenever you like.”

“I will. I have to say you are doing really well. You seem more settled, not as restless and it suits you.”

I smiled and nodded and then waved to the waiter who I had secreted the gift with.

“Well I had better return to the office Lesley and see if hell has broken out without me there, but before I do, I wanted you to have this.”

The waiter arrived and handed the small package to Lesley.

“What’s this?” she smiled taking the present.

“Oh just a small gift by way of apology.”

“You didn’t need to do that,” she added but continued smiling as the waiter walked away.

“Of course I did Lesley. You are worth it.”

She folded back the expensive wrapping paper and pulled the slender rectangular item free from its packaging. She gave a slight frown and then turned it around. Her eyes fell on the front of the Blu-ray box and she gave a short cry as if startled. Her expression of delight immediately broke and a tear trickled from her right eye. I just sat smiling at her, my chin resting on my triangulated fingers as she slowly lowered the Blu-ray to the table, sobs now coming from her each one becoming louder. She dropped the Blu-ray and clasped her hands to her mouth as if to stifle a scream but her watering eyes remained fixed on the title of the Blue-ray.

Stephen King’s It.

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40 thoughts on “Tractor Beam”

  1. So explain to me the logic. I thought you enjoyed getting a chance to ensnare and reel someone back in because you never truly want to let someone go? I get that you did that here, but only to fake thru a 2 hour lunch? Didn’t her reaction cause embarrassment to you in the restaurant in front of your lackeys?
    That is so below the belt cruel, H.G.!
    She was probably seeking closure. You would rather have her think you’re a monster than part ways thinking highly of you and then knowing you bring a smile to her face when you pop in her head from time to time?
    H.G. you would have been wearing whatever food and drink was still on that table all over your pristine suit if that was me!

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      1. Stop deflecting! My question is similar to CrystalEmpath’s. WHY that method at that time?
        And you wish you’d get a shot at trying a masterstroke with me…

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  2. The scariest thing I noted of myself whilst reading your post was that I knew what the present was going to be before I read it, despite thinking to myself, no…he couldn’t be that cruel so quickly. Was this payback for her no contact of you? I would have thought you would have toyed with her for a little longer, as you said you had other appliances in any case. Perhaps you were lacking in quality negative fuel when she called or maybe you wanted things to be truly reminiscent of old?
    Maybe there is no rhyme or reason..it’s just whatever meets your needs at the time. I guess, lesson learned for Lesley? Or was it game on once more for you, as was previously between you?
    I wonder if you did her a favour with benefits so to speak….

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      1. I knew right after I hit send, your answer would be because “I can”. Or, ” I chose” is basically the same.
        You can tell from your blogs, which appliances… I mean girlfriends, you were more fond of than others. From your first blog about Lesley, my gut said you never thought much of her. She probably deserved that ending for not holding your interest better.
        I don’t think you would culminate such a drastic ending if you had the chance to reconnect with Karen or Caroline.

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  3. HG, the ladies are really after you for this one!! Guess some of them were hoping the time with the good Drs. Were changing you! You are what you are you’ve always said that in every book and every post! A person really needs to want to change and you simply don’t. Why mess with perfection isn’t that correct HG? If a n was molested as a young boy and then again as a teenager( different molesters) could this possibly be a reason for him becoming a n? And he was really into not vanilla sex that’s for sure, maybe possibly hiding homosexual reality? What is your opinion on this HG? Thank you for any thought you may have on these thoughts. Xx

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    1. Ah the baying of the mob. I have never shied from telling the truth about what I am and what I do. To do otherwise would dilute the point of me conveying this information for people to use as they see fit. Actually my time with the good doctors is changing me. My awareness has increased but as you may by now have read in part two to the above tale, I had an ulterior motive and that is something that has come from my treatment. The impact of sexual abuse is complex and I am no expert in that field. If the victim felt he was not protected and loved by others who might otherwise have done so, he has had to create his own method of doing so and this may well give rise to becoming a narcissist as a method of dealing with the harshness of the treatment the world has meted out.

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  4. So thoroughly predictable.. what a terrible existence you have. Playing with people for jollies and hurting them for kicks. Typical childish behaviour, hurt others before they have a chance to hurt you because in your mind they always will at some point. Never taking into account that your own actions towards people are the reason they hurt you.

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      1. As an empath I would respond with something suitably reassuring and try to show you the error in your pattern of behaviour. I do understand though that you don’t view it and never will view it as wrong or unhealthy. You are what you are and have no desire to change.

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      2. Retaliation for….? The fact that you were able to dupe these ladies makes you want to also punish them too? You put alot of energy and time and thought into a simple lunch. Probably much more than she did, I’d say. What if she wanted to eat some place of her choosing. Would you have “allowed” that? Without all the preemptive strikes you had in place?

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    1. Sheila you’re right a very childish response a response unfortunate for their kind they can not help 😔so many things I’ve discovered post discard. I send my ex a message just before saying I wasn’t going to message him again was going to leave the ball in his court as I was tired if playing games. His mum said you shouldn’t have done that if he thinks you’re going to finish it he’ll do it first… And he did. All I wanted was to be treated fairly an talk like adults, silly me.

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  5. I don’t know why she even bothered I would have said such a Shane you’re incapable of change. You have confirmed what I thought about you thank you I needed to know it was just you who isn’t normal. I would have then stood up and left.
    But to be truly honest I would never have re-engaged with you.

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  6. You are a monster. i KNEW we were playing with fire. And would eventually get burned by your posts. F U HG…I am one of the lucky ones as my relationship was short (18 mo) and truthfully I have survived much worse… ( I lost my husband at 43, and while that made me a perfect target, the secret weapon I had was my absolute strength in dealing with the challenges of his illness and death), so I was able to overcome my N’s shitstorm. And I have WON as I still have a relationship with his kids – just spent the whole day with his oldest… It was amazing. F You and your kind.

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  7. I don’t understand, at this point, how these broads (your exes) don’t see through you? They must be lamer than you’re letting on. And these sheep you plant in the restaurant to lift your value up a few notches…really?really? That reeks of desperation, and insecurity (yours). After all, narcs need us…we don’t need them. It seems the whole issue with narcissism is the fact that , although they claim to be superior, special, gifted, they can’t even function without us. And they live to exploit the very same emotions in others that they themselves have been devoid of from jump street.

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    1. They do not see through what is happening because of the steady and insidious manipulation they are subjected to. Give someone a reason to want something, i.e. the golden period and they will crawl over broken glass to get it back. The power of suggestion is potent indeed and is readily applied against one individual or millions. Consider how the media makes people have a certain view of others? Terrorist or freedom fighter? Illegal immigrant or asylum seeker? Impoverished single parent who needs help or scrounging work-shy leech? All we do is create something you want, give it to you and then remove it. It is astonishingly effective and the number of victims is testament to how people really do not see through it. You are right though that we need you.

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  8. Hi HG,
    What would you do if she smiled when seeing the book, opened her bag and gave you a similar gift? One of YOUR books for example? Would you get mad or do you have a sense of humor in those situations?

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