Working It Out

Welcome to the seat of power. This is the command head quarters from which my work-based machinations take place. I do enjoy the work place. It is a play ground where I have access to all manner of different appliances to keep those important fuel levels topped up. Naturally when I am at work I am not with my primary source of fuel although I keep her plugged in by reason of text messages, e-mails and the telephone. This certainly helps get me through the day but I am not able to turn up, perform my job and then go home. If I did that I would be starved of fuel and consequently in trouble. I regard work as a place to acquire fuel first and secondly the place where I perform my role in the business. A number of our kind do not bother with work. These low level narcs occupy their days in a different way by obtaining fuel in the home environment. They do not know what they are missing but they are at the low end of functioning and therefore would not be as effective in a dynamic environment like me. Then there are the mid-level narcs who do work but they forgo the medium-term fuel gains for short-term acquisitions. These members of Narc Club will never climb high as they tend to move from job to job. Usually this is because when their fury is ignited they lack the discipline to withdraw or use it as a shield and instead go no the warpath. They are not as high up as someone like me and therefore they are at risk of being fired. It is a temporary set-back because they have the guile and manipulative charm to secure another position soon after but they disappoint me. Securing a new position of employment takes time and energy, time and energy which could be far better applied to securing fuel.

Now, with my kind and me in the upper echelons of Narc Club the workplace is a huge fuel refinery. Lots of different people. Lots of different clients and suppliers. Repeatedly changing and therefore it is like being sat with a conveyor belt of appliances drifting past ready for me to hook up to me when I see fit. Work is a marvellous environment for gathering fuel. There are so many opportunities to shine and gain admiration. Post great results – fuel. Win new work – fuel. Deliver a report on time and within budget – fuel. Close the deal – fuel. Make savings to maximise profit – fuel. Dangle a promotion in front an ambitious associate – fuel. It does not stop there. So many delicious ladies to flirt with and draw into my influence. They are elegant and smart, wearing pencil skirts and blouses, hair tied up and high heels worn. I shower the compliments around and they always respond – fuel. Praise someone for working long hours – fuel. Praise my secretary (who is in love with me) for her output – fuel. It is a wonder I do not explode. You would think this would be enough with all the opportunities to show off my success and so many different people to expose to my brilliance but it gets even better. I know, it is fantastic isn’t it? Supplier not come up to scratch? Time to let them know with a blast from the furnace of fury and harvest more fuel. Sub-ordinate slacking? Berate them and in flows the fuel. Set unachievable targets for the pool of associates and watch them tear their hair out in anguish – fuel. Make that secretary cry because she created too many typographical errors – fuel. Ignore that sexy junior who I took into the disabled toilet for some special attention and see her perplexed expression as I close the door in her face – fuel. Everywhere I go there are fuel lines it is a wonder I do not trip over them. I have my own personal fiefdom where I arrange the players as I see fit. The secretaries, the juniors and the associates are all organised to do as I please. I set them against one another and the fuel just flows. They fawn over me seeking my largesse and there is yet more fuel.

I am no fool however. The job must still be done and thanks to my manipulative charm, lack of remorse and mind set of the end always justifies the means my team always delivers. That is all the higher-ups care about. Anybody who is stupid enough and I mean they really are stupid if they try and cross me at work by running squealing to the higher-ups results in the end of their career. My boss Julia (who secretly fancies me) always backs me up because she knows I could do her job tomorrow and she is grateful that I have not plunged the knife into her back. I have not done so because I know she is blowing a board director and he has her back. She in turn has mine. So long as we deliver I can do whatever I want in my personal fiefdom. This means I can give the drudgery to others, make them toil whilst I focus on gathering my fuel and collecting the glory. I maintain a coterie within the workplace and they are so hungry for success they will turn on anyone I wish to character assassinate. Oh I do enjoy work, the wheels within wheels. What is it that I actually do you might wonder ? Well I will leave you to work it out.

34 thoughts on “Working It Out

  1. D says:

    he recently shared a job application with me. it was for one of those innovative tech companies like Google or Facebook where the questions were pretty wacky. for instance, there was question number 1: How much beer can you drink in a single setting? to which he answered “i.e. without getting up to pee? about 10.”, question 11: What is your favourite colour? “some perfect shade of 50s seafoam green that i’ve never been able to exactly locate”, and question 28: How would you like to die? “quickly.”

    but there were also many answers that I recognized as his truth:

    3. The quality you most like in a woman?

    4. The quality you most like in a man?

    5. What do you most value in your friends?
    “willingness to perjure themselves for me”

    9. What would you like to be?
    “pretty happy with what I am – just like to get better at it.”

    30. To what faults do you feel most indulgent?
    “see question number one.”

    not long after, I filled it out as well for fun, for him. many of our answers matched perfectly.

  2. Maddie says:

    it looks that You have extreme amount of sources. …I doubt You need more, very sexy desk btw.

  3. Narcs_Angel says:

    Hello again, HG,
    If I had to speculate… I’d say a large law firm involving family.
    However, that is only if the description of your daily task, routines and accomplishments resulting in fuel are actually true scenarios. Ohhh!!! Because I know all about the web you weave to lie and decieve. I’m enjoying your blog… Ive definitely learned from you a few tricks of your kinds trade. I recently broke no contact after several months and came out clean as a whistle (Jk.. I know very well the hell I’ll pay) with a brand new car. As soon as I cranked it up and grinned from ear to ear …he brought out the devils toolkit to abuse and manipulate. So, I rode off into the sunset in my shiny, sparkly and silver new ride.
    The end. 😈😇

    1. malignnarc says:

      Glad you are enjoying it and putting your new skills sets to use.

  4. Nikita says:

    As you describe the women with hair pinned up and pencil skirts its certainly a corporate environemnt, in a bank or a consultancy company.
    What makes me doubt is that in any of those big companies there is a system of values and behaviors and you would make a person cry exactly one time before you are suspended, even if you are a bigboss.. So it is maybe a a small company and not a multinational where there is a code of comduct.
    Or you work for a public company where people treat the other like they want.

    1. fool me 1 time says:

      Or maybe it’s a family run business? Or even better his families money is invested in this business??

    2. alexis2015s says:

      Nikita, trust me, this type of thing can easily happen in a large company. It becomes the culture and accepted norm.

      1. Nikita says:

        Alexis I work for a big company and they are super strict. Nobody gets away with such a behaviour… But could be as you say… I have only worked there…
        But HG has told about many many instances where he has had totally unacceptable behaviour at work.., I wonder what kind of company could that be…. Only the public ones I think..
        And in addition flirting at work!! Well we are so busy that nobody is flirting around but I once heard from a friend that in transportation companies its like a real orgy and yes now that I think about seems no code of conduct. Maybe HG works for a big transporter in the logistics area. 😃😃, but again the elegance does not take place in logistics…
        What a puzzle.

        1. alexis2015s says:

          Could be anywhere, banking, accounts txt firm, law firm, sales.

          And I’ve heard refuge collection has a bit of a ‘thing’ going on Nikita.

          Maybe HG cunningly disguises himself as a gentleman but really he clears away people’s rubbish……. and not with a Hoover.

        2. alexis2015s says:

          Could be anywhere, banking, accounts txt firm, law firm, sales.

          And I’ve heard refuge collection has a bit of a ‘thing’ going on Nikita.

          Maybe HG cunningly disguises himself as a gentleman but really he clears away people’s rubbish……. and not with a Hoover.g

  5. So Sad says:

    Nail on the head again HG ! Narc went one better than you ( not that it’s a competition of course : ) & let me set up a business for him , self employed sounded so good to his new targets . ” Nice Guy ” they all say . Recommended on FB by all his fuel providers & minions . Nice one 🙂

  6. alexis2015s says:

    Really well written, yup, I know a few of these. Will you enlighten us HG on how to avoid / get on with your kind in the workplace ?

    1. malignnarc says:

      I shall in due course Alexis, it is a work in progress.

  7. A says:

    Hunger Games comes to mind with this post. Also, This morning I was mopping my floor and thinking of you, HG. (Does that give you fuel?) This world of yours is contrived…. So how can the fuel be so great if it isn’t truly genuine fuel? I just can’t make sense of it in my head…..I’ve been reading your books so I’m sure I’ll eventually get you.

    1. malignnarc says:

      Keep reading A. The emotional reactions my seduction and devaluation provoke are very real, nothing contrived about them.

  8. Gloria Gaynor says:

    He was mid-level and went through three jobs in 18 months.
    ( I still hate you btw)

    1. malignnarc says:

      Feed me GG, feed me !

  9. apocalipznow says:

    So who would win in a fight? You, or Patrick Bateman? Quien es mas macho?

    1. malignnarc says:

      What type of fight ? Words, fists or snowball?

  10. fool me 1 time says:

    Well done again HG! My ex must of been in the elite group of narcs club! Work was more important to him then anything else! What a perfect job for a N. ( would not of figured this out with out you) He travels a lot, he is a boss( with a lot of people working under him), never at the same location very long, but long enough to hook New fuel. Wow the things you realize when you have the right N giving you the information we need. Thanks once again HG! X

    1. malignnarc says:

      You are welcome fool me.

  11. apocalipznow says:

    Nice office. I’m picturing Don handsome. I believe that character had Narc tendencies. Well, one things for sure. You’re not an appliance, but you’re definitely a tool.

    1. malignnarc says:

      DD is one of our elite. So cutting apocalipznow with that comment and we have only just met. FYI I am no tool. I am a weapon of mass seduction.

      1. apocalipznow says:

        Dont threaten ME with a good time ! ; )

  12. Sheila says:

    It’s a little eerie, your position and the way you use it reminds me of one of the mid-level managers where I work.

    1. malignnarc says:

      I’m not him Sheila, I am higher than mid-level but the machinations will be the same whichever level we occupy.

      1. Sheila says:

        You give me a lot of food for thought while I’m at work. I have a lot of time to think as my job is mostly physical and lately I’ve been analyzing the actions and behaviours of those around me. I’ve come to realize there are many N’s here and it’s the perfect place for them to prey on the vast number of employees that come through our revolving door. Constant new fuel, as most of the workforce is sent here through a temp agency and consequently many are women that are coming out of relationships and trying to start over on their own.
        The manager I mentioned is actually involved with the woman from the temp agency that is responsible for sending new workers here. So he gets an inside track into who they have looking for work and can pick and choose. Probably why most that come here are single, divorced and attractive.

        1. malignnarc says:

          A veritable happy hunting ground.

          1. Sheila says:

            Yes indeed, so many I see being lured by the N’s I’ve verified here. I’d love to educate them about what they’re potentially getting involved with, but it would just make me look like a ‘crazy’ now wouldn’t it?

          2. malignnarc says:

            Just point them in this direction Sheila and let them work it out.

          3. Sheila says:

            I’m working my way around to it, HG. I barely know the ones I’m worried about as they are very new temp employees, but what I know of them so far is that they were very much like me. Two in particular are newly separated women with children that have been targeted by the N-ex boyfriend at work. So I am very carefully trying to not come off as the ‘crazy ex-GF’.

          4. malignnarc says:

            Wise approach Sheila.

  13. PorterGirl says:

    Lovely desk.

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