The Vainglorious Twenty

 

 

To say that my kind and me have a high opinion of ourselves is to put it too low. We are superior, of an elevated status and ethereally stunning and wonderful. Our achievements are magnificent, our accomplishments legion and we leave you mere mortals trailing in our wake. We know you look on, slack-jawed and wide-eyed, a mixture of awe and envy washing over you. How good it must be to be like us, you wonder. Well not only are we spectacular and scintillating we are generous too, so generous that I can share with you twenty of our excessively vain and self-centred comments. You may have heard a number of these said to you, about you or just uttered in your general earshot as we gaze nobly towards the horizon. If you have, you know you are dealing with one of our kind and that we wholeheatedly believe these comments irrespective of how pompous, hypocritical,vain or ridiculous they may sound.

 

  1. I don’t complain, I advise.
  2. I do, I am not done to.
  3. Don’t be sorry. Be accurate.
  4. I turn heads. I turn sexual preferences.
  5. I own you.
  6. I have every right to do this.
  7. I never lie.
  8. I achieved all this without any help whatsoever.
  9. I made you what you are today.
  10. I am very much in touch with my feelings.
  11. I hate liars.
  12. It is all down to me.
  13. I am a god.
  14. If it wasn’t for me, nothing would get done round here.
  15. I think of everyone but myself. I am too giving at times.
  16. It can be hard being this well-loved.
  17. I cannot help being so popular.
  18. They are my people. They get understand me,
  19. Everyone wants to either be me or be with me.
  20. I am the puppet master and the piper. Deal with it.
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24 thoughts on “The Vainglorious Twenty”

  1. “I think of everyone but myself”…also known as “I give everything for (and to) my children”. And all I can say is “Really, Mother, shouldn’t you be hanging from the crucifix, it is THE prop for martyrs.”

    “I own you” is better known as “I paid for your college education, I’ve bought you more designer bags than I can count, you owe me…[insert whatever it is she wants me to do that I don’t want to do]”. And while I can’t return the college education, she’s welcome to round up all the designer bags she’s bought me over the years & take them to hell and back.

    “I turn heads”. Well, yeah, I’ll give you that one, Mother…but they’re not staring because they’re aroused, they’re doing a double take because they never saw anyone wear a fur coat and hot pants before…studio 54, it’s been over for a long while.

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      1. She owns one floor length REAL fur coat, Nikita, yes, and if there were any justice on this earth there would be a mink wearing HER as a coat somewhere.

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      2. Ohh fur coats is really something I cant stand. How can people wear this. There is so much cruelty behind. Give me your adress and I go and spray her fur jackets 😂

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      3. Some slaughter like bullfights is a form of sadism. Wearing fur coats despite the cruelty there is behind I would also tend to think is narcissistic.

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  2. Wow yes I heard many many of them. Not all but many.
    By the way yesterday I read at luckotters blog about the real self of the N and how you need all the grandiose feelings to numb the pain, but what was impressive was that it was told in reference to a descriotion of SV describing how he cries in his sleep the hurt on the real self.
    So these sentences gain a beauty when I think of this blog.

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      1. Really? Why? Cries in his dreams the pain because awake he cant reconnect with the pain he carries inside. And cry it out.
        To cry awake or asleep is really good as crying is necessary .

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  3. Nikita – It’s not always cruel.

    I am First Nations (First Peoples, Aboriginal people, whatever you call us) and we hunt for food and usefulness, not for sport.

    We use every single part of the animal.

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  4. 1. I complain about everything, but try to convince everyone that I’m just simply giving advice.
    2. I do, because I enjoy being an asshole.
    3. Stop saying you’re sorry and tell me what really happened.
    4. I’m so jealous I can’t stand the thought of your eyes on another man. You better not even glance at another man .
    5. In my delusional mind I have every right.
    6. I always lie. It’s the only way.
    7. I achieved all of this because I made everyone else do all the dirty work while I just pretended to be busy.
    8. You would be lost without me.
    9. I have no idea what I’m feeling on any given day.
    11. I always know when you’re not telling the truth because it’s what I do best.
    12. I don’t care about anyone else. I only think of myself.

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