Fifteen Seductive Triangles
Our seductive tendrils wrap around the unsuspecting and draw them into our false reality. We have many ways of effecting this seduction, from the outrageous declarations of premature love, to the excessive texting and messaging, from the gifts and attentiveness to the fantastic sex. There are many strings to our bow when it comes to seducing our victims. We love the allure of the triangle. Bringing someone else or something else into the dynamic between you and me generates endless possibilities for fuel, control and manipulation. Triangulation is seen throughout the narcissistic dance and appears more than you may realise at the outset of your relationship with our kind. Of course our most serious and intense seductive techniques are reserved for our intimate partners who become our primary source of fuel, but we triangulate everybody who we wish to draw fuel from. Whether you are a parent, a sibling, a co-worker, a boss, a friend or someone who is an acquaintance, we will triangulate you in some way.
When triangulation is used in seduction it will be done to portray ourselves as a good and decent person and on the receiving end of some unpleasant and undeserved behaviour from a different source, in order to make you admire us for dealing with this unnecessary attack or provide us with affection to make us feel better or sympathy in respect of our predicament. You are made to think that we are explaining our position and you are made to feel special because we are telling you about something that apparently is troubling us. The reality is that this is being done in order to draw an appropriate reaction from you for the purposes of gaining fuel. It is also designed to make you think that there is something you can do to assist us and help us and therefore gain favour with us through this action .Here are fifteen of these regularly used techniques which may be familiar to you or what you ought to be looking out for.
- My wife doesn’t understand me.
- My husband has no interest in sex with me anymore.
- My children don’t respect me.
- My parents expect me to be their full-time carers.
- My boss is a tyrant.
- My team are incompetent.
- My supplier is unreliable.
- My neighbour is inconsiderate.
- My partner never listens.
- My boyfriend spends all of his time with his friends rather than me.
- My girlfriend spends all my money.
- My friends expect me to be available all of the time.
- My partner just doesn’t appreciate what I do.
- My girlfriend would rather play Candy Crush than talk to me.
- My children never ring me to see how I am.
15 thoughts on “Fifteen Seductive Triangles”
He never said any of these things to me which makes it even harder to understand his behavior
Hahahaha my ex N would get so mad at me for playing candy crush.
It is the invites to play it, Angered, that send me into a state of frenzy!
Lol, I don’t play it anymore. I’m all about playing Ruzzle now. .I love words…
Being BPD, and I am pretty sure we are of the same age, we have similarities. I started therapy at 18 years old. The therapy chair is my second home. Yes we are at the extreme in many areas as well. I understand your thinking. When I got involved with my N 2 years ago I new right away something was off. I am very protective of myself first before my empathy shows. I actually had to take your books with me to therapy and confirm I was not you. I did this with so many years of therapy. It’s that cluster C.
So now my question. I am at an unknown distance watching as my N is in the Hoover stage for 4 weeks now. I caught him of gaurd with my no contact well planned exit. I had read all your books and new there was no other way. I thought there was new fuel for him. As I have watched closer I am being triangulated with 2 other fictitious people. The length and depth of this game he is in to reach me is interesting. More so I can see the desperation and chaos mount at diffrent times of the day. The honeymoon stage hits. That won’t work so the devaluation. I am still keeping my no contact and he has no idea I am aware of his hidden game messages you love to play.
I may be working with one of you that has never been challenged per say. Least expected to have been by me. I have seen the beast unleash but it was on himself physically. He had no other choice.
I no you never end any relationship. However, do you gain any fuel in the Hoover stage if it’s a game to you and your competition won’t break. His world is built around winning.
If the hoover is benign and you wont break it will become malign. If you will still not break we disengage and go elsewhere making a mental note to try and some future point when you next come within our sphere of influence and when your defences may not be as well organised.
FunRobPep ( for anyone on dating sites) is a MASTER at this!
Maybe not for much longer Tracy Lee! I think the first three letters of that “handle” would serve as a warning!
My narc’s favorite is “My boss is a tyrant.” He recently just tried this technique on me. He forgot to give his conflicts to his boss for the upcoming schedule. He saw the schedule and told her he couldn’t work those hours. She sent him an appropriate response. He then tried to get me on his side and feel sorry for him. Nope. Won’t do that. He wasn’t too happy with me.
Except sometimes it’s really true. I’ve had a stressful week dealing with an equipment supplier who really has become indifferent and incompetent putting out defective equipment components and expecting our customer to accept as is. Where do I line up for a shot of fuel? Lol
Heh, heh, ha! This list is actually pretty funny: any one (or many ones) are legitimate facts in most marriages after 20 years. I guess they become characteristically NPD-ish if they are uttered earlier on (and are untrue)?
My supplier is unreliable 😂😂 depends…can also be used not for triangulating.
Very good HG ! Somebody or something is always there. Thanks for all the posts of today 😘.
Yeah if I had a dollar for every man whose wife didn’t understand him and/or wasn’t interested in sex, I’d own Park Avenue…not a swanky apartment, but all of Park Avenue.
Hahahaha you are cool