Locked on Target

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We select our targets. It is not a matter left to chance when it comes to identifying those people we choose to ensnare and entangle with. You were picked. There was nothing random about. Thus you can be assured that as a consequence of this most deliberate act you were never at fault. The process of training our sights on certain individuals and in particular that person we choose as our intimate partner who almost always forms our primary source of fuel, is one which has a number of key considerations.

The methodology of our selection of our target is governed, initially, by two considerations.

  1. What we are; and
  2. The role we wish to fill.

These two considerations will then cause us to target certain people on the basis that they will be the optimum person for our needs. In terms of what we are, of course we are  narcissists and you will be familiar with the various traits by which we are defined as being that personality type. Not all of those traits are present with every narcissist and whilst it is worthwhile you being aware of those traits it is far more important for you to recognise the type of narcissist that you may have been involved with and perhaps even more importantly the type or possibly types that may target you in the future. Some of our victims satisfy us whatever type of narcissist we are whereas others are more suited to a particular type thus certain of our kind will not bother targeting that victim.

Narcissists are drawn from two schools and what I refer to as four cadres. The schools are those of being of a Lesser variety, Mid-Range Variety or a Greater variety. The cadres are the Victim, the Somatic, the Cerebral and the Elite Narcissist. Narcissists belong to both a school and a cadre although there is not a category of narcissist for every combination of school and cadre as some are mutually exclusive. It is necessary for you to understand not only the schools and cadres but also the relevant combinations. This is for the following reasons: –

  1. You will understand what to expect from the behaviour of the relevant class of narcissist;
  2. This will shape the way he or she targets their victims, since different classes look for different traits in their victims;
  3. You will learn to recognise those different types since you understand the classes of narcissist that exist; and
  4. You will have a greater understanding of why the narcissist is drawn to you so you can take the appropriate action.

Accordingly, by knowing what we are this will in turn allow you to understand much about how our targeting of victims operates.

The second fundamental part of our methodology concerns your role in your entanglement with us.In terms of that role, the overriding objective of course is the provision of fuel and this means that the role is divide into two distinct categories: –

  1. The Primary Source of Fuel; and
  2. Supplementary Sources

The Primary Source of Fuel

This is the category that you are most likely to belong to. Those who are in the supplementary sources are less likely to realise that they have been ensnared by our kind because those in the category of supplementary sources are usually (although not always) kept in the golden period for the purposes of positive fuel and the maintenance of that all important façade. Those who are in this category of primary source of fuel have the greatest exposure to us, experience the elation of the sustained seduction which goes beyond anything anyone in the supplementary source category would ever experience and you also then face the horror of the devaluation, the bewilderment of discard and the lure of the Hoover. You were chosen because we determined that you would fulfil the role of the primary source especially well because we ascertained when we targeted you that you would provide fuel on a frequent basis, of a high-grade and in copious amounts. This determination is linked to what type of narcissist we are and there are many of your traits which make you most suitable for the position of primary source with your particular narcissist. The fundamental point to understand is that those chosen for this role must almost always be an intimate partner.  There may be occasions when, owing to urgency and a lack of available options, this role might be filled with a family member or a friend but that is rare. The intimate partner is always preferred in the role of primary source. There are several reasons for this: –

  1. You spend the most time with us out of all the people we interact with and therefore you are best placed to provide us with fuel more frequently than anyone else;
  2. You have been chosen because you believe in love and the attraction of being in a relationship. You place great value in these things and therefore you will give a heightened emotional response. You want to be in a relationship so you will give more to it, you will work harder to make it work and preserve it. You will be more loving, more appreciative and more admiring. Similarly, when devaluation occurs you will experience hurt on a greater level, frustration, upset and anger and accordingly your emotional response and thus fuel will be far greater;
  3. We will invariably reside with you, either by spending time at your house or my house together a lot of the time or by moving in together. This will enable us to maintain the façade whilst we mete out our less desirable behaviour towards you behind closed doors. This would be much harder if the primary source was a friend or colleague.
  4. It is from you that we will look to receive some of the shards and segments of attributes and characteristics that are applied to our construct;
  5. We will also require a whole range of ancillary benefits which arise from what you are when you are placed in the role of primary source, for example somebody who might lend us money, provide a roof over our heads, be our nursemaid and so on.

Accordingly, the person who becomes our primary source is the most important selection of all those that we interact with. You are our chief provider of fuel and you must give us a whole host of other benefits. We must ensure we make an excellent choice when we choose the person who is to fulfil the role of primary source.

The Supplementary Sources

The supplementary sources of fuel are all those who provide us with fuel who fall outside of the primary source. Since the primary source is almost without exception an intimate partner this means that supplementary sources are anybody else we interact with, other than this intimate partner. This includes family, friends, colleagues, strangers and others beside all of whom are ranked according to the potency of the fuel that they provide to us.

We extract fuel from all these different types of relationship. We also acquire shards and segments from them for the purposes of our construct. We apply consideration (although not as much as we do when we target out primary source) to those people who we want to be in these various positions to ensure that they fulfil their role. This selection applies to nearly all of the people in the relevant categories contained within supplementary sources in the following ways: –

 

  1. Their ability to provide us with positive fuel (occasionally negative –  but almost exclusively positive);
  2. Their capacity to provide something else of use to use e.g. their willingness to give us money, carry out work on our behalf, the provision of a place to live where we need a bolthole during a silent treatment and so on;
  3. Their ability to provide us with some trait or attribute which is required for our construct.

 

These are the three things we look for most of all when we are targeting individuals to be admitted (or remain) within the group of supplementary source. Those are the initial considerations. With those in higher- ranking groups the process is also finessed in order to determine those who will best provide positive fuel, those who will best provide some other benefit and those who will provides us with the best traits for the construct. The forerunners in those categories, which we identify through a number of methods, become those who we admit into those groupings and form one of our supplementary sources of fuel.

These are the overriding considerations when we consider who we will target and you ought to have regard to them in order to understanding how to protect yourself. We build on these central principles through further refined and focussed methods of targeting you in order to choose the perfect victim who will suit or purposes as far as possible.

To gain additional and unrivalled understanding and insight into how we target you and the reasons for this, read Sitting Target.

US http://www.amazon.com/Sitting-Target-How-Narcissist-Chooses-ebook/dp/B01D09B3KS

UK  http://www.amazon.co.uk/Sitting-Target-How-Narcissist-Chooses-ebook/dp/B01D09B3KS

CAN  https://www.amazon.ca/Sitting-Target-How-Narcissist-Chooses-ebook/dp/B01D09B3KS

AUS  http://www.amazon.com.au/Sitting-Target-How-Narcissist-Chooses-ebook/dp/B01D09B3KS

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32 thoughts on “Locked on Target”

      1. No , never .ever ever HG .. But then we all know that lying is one of your greatest strengths.. 🙂

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  1. He chooses you, so you choose him, an agreement is reached and settled upon, and it’s game on.

    Just keep in mind what few rules there are will change without notice (in all fairness, there really aren’t any rules at all, only the illusion of rules).

    And no matter how hard you try, you will never be the victor, you will spend most of your time out of bounds and quite likely, end up severely injured in the process!

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    1. B&T .. I would never have “chosen “to take 14 years of abuse let alone “choose” someone who would beat the $$it out of me most of the time..
      It was never my ” choice to make ” ?

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      1. Hm, ok.

        I can neither sympathize nor empathize with you So Sad, because I do not share you experiences.

        I can, however, respect your position and your sentiments regarding my comments. 🙂

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    2. Some people in the narc abuse recovery movement call it `Soul Contract.´ This appeals to me, although I wonder how we can connect soul-to-soul with someone who has (or displays) no soul?

      Even if it is a difficult concept to own, I totally agree that we choose them just as much as they choose us. We chose them for a reason – the reason being to grow out of and beyond self-delusion, victimhood and (often) core wounds of shame and guilt, as well as `invisible child syndrome´, caused by early childhood trauma. I know this comment may trigger some readers, which is not at all my intention, on the contrary. I deeply believe that getting out of the victim mode and overcoming the survival mode is crucial to healing.

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  2. What book title is the more detailed info in? I remember reading it in one of the 11 of your books that I have and they seem to have cross references. I want to go back and re-read this part again.

    I am certain he was more on the lower level in handling me.
    I did tell him if we had to go toe to toe with our egos he would surely lose. I stand firm on this.
    Do I missnparts of him? Yes. Will I let him back? No, and it is because of my ego.
    I would tolerate his fits because I would ignore it now that I know what it is. But I will not put up with him being with other women. No, he is not all that and a bag of chips to stand for that. You lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas and he is a bit to flea bitten for me at this point.
    The ego is a very powerful part of me and I have walked away from bigger and better.

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    1. It is in Sitting Target Stephanie and thank you for reading. There will be even greater detail and insight provided in due course with four books, one each dedicated to the particular cadre.

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  3. Very beautifully and intimately detailed HG. Spot-on, as always you are. Thank you for sharing your “protocol” when it comes to your vicious “appetite for destruction.” You bring a new direction, knowledge, healing, and detailed awareness to your daunted Prey through your premeditated, unapologetic, cold and heartless need for your personal deity called, “FUEL.” Thank you sharing your knowledge with your Prey as well as the potential reforming narcissists, I pray.

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  4. So interesting as always. Ex and I were set up. I’m not going to be so forward to think he set up the set up…unless he did. Welcome back to my inbox, HG. Tech issues hoover…much like…well. Anyway. Thank you again.

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  5. Another informative post HG bringing awareness on the surface to assist in understanding the illusions set forth.

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  6. HG . I know it’s Friday & you’ll be doing what Narcs do best .
    But I really would love your advice please .

    I’ve seen some posts on social media , though a friends account.. not that I asked . But narcs still tying to triangulate me with his new supply apparently .

    I’ve been a long time NC .. will he ever stop ?

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  7. Hi HG,

    You said that if the DLS goes NC which forces you to find a replacement, you delete us from your mind because you are busy finding/lovebombing the new victim. But you also said that you use the old appliance to triangulate which means that we are not one bit deleted as you have suggested. So how does this come together in your mind?

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    1. It’s done when you keep getting in our sights during the golden period with new appliance. If you stay out of the way, you are deleted, make your presence known, get triangulated as part of malign hoovers.

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