Gone and Forgotten


Everyone is familiar with the adage, out of sight,out of mind. That does not quite apply to us. During our seduction phase we need to know that you are repeatedly there. It is almost constant. We assail you with a battery of texts and telephone messages and we demand instant replies. We want you to leave voice mail messages which we will listen to over and over. We are delighted (and also need) to find our mobile waiting with a message from you when we first wake up. We want to arrive at work and check the voicemail thereto find the first message waiting is an overnight declaration of love and admiration from you. If we do not hear from you, in some shape or form for a short period of time and by short I mean fifteen minutes or so, then we believe you have ceased to exist and that you no longer want us. That means that our fuel has suddenly vanished and this leaves us on edge, jittery and restless. Of course, with this being the section phase we do not act in any way horrible (that as you know comes later). Thus there are no texts of “where are you?” or “why are you ignoring me?” instead we will send these beauties:-

“I know fifteen minutes might not seem long but when I don’t hear from you it feels like an eternity”

How are you? I am fine but my day will improve so much when I hear from you”

Our connection is so deep that I need to feel in constant contact with you. Can’t wait for your message.”

Quick,tell me something good in just one word”

You will regard these messages as sweet and delightful. This approach also serves to ensure that you will keep your ‘phone available at all times. Have you noticed how you keep checking it during dinner with your friends? How about the fact you now keep popping out of meetings just to make a short call or send me a message? Consider how you are not watching the sports match as intently since you are texting me? You may think it is another example of how lovely I am, but in reality it is to feed out need for attention and condition you to do it for us. Of course, as with many of my early actions, it also allows me to withdraw this behaviour in the devalue stage.

8 thoughts on “Gone and Forgotten

  1. Reversed says:

    He got angry often over me not answering calls, texts and especially anytime I was away from him. I am very hyper vigilant when it comes to controlling behavior and therefore his reactions were off putting and the communication from me and time spent with him dwindled more and more. This of course brought out more passive aggressive behavior and when I didn’t react the rage would ensue. His neediness, clinginess and insecurity painted him in a pathetic light replacing the Alpha Male attributes I originally saw and was attracted to.

  2. Chanty says:

    After the discard do they even read the letter you send or listen to the voicemail where you cry and beg them to talk to you?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Absolutely. It is all fuel.

      1. Chanty says:

        Thanks for replying HG. I miss him even though I should not!

  3. nikitalondon says:

    I never got those demans… I currently send many texts 😍😍

  4. 1jaded1 says:

    This is why i was ambivalent about getting a phone. One word? “You”.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Well put.

  5. notquiteanarc says:

    You’ve explained this perfectly! I was once told to “please say something nice to me.” That struck me as so odd I couldn’t oblige, instead I questioned him on this until he gave up and moved on to another topic.

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