I mentioned in an earlier post the highly addictive quality of sex with our kind. There are numerous factors which affect this addictiveness. The status of our victims also plays a part in creating this addiction. We like to find people who are susceptible to addictive behaviour and in especially in the context of love and relationships. Our aim is to have all our targets become addicted to this lovesex and through the powerful campaign of love bombing, using sex as a weapon and all the other manipulative techniques we apply, this will happen. There are however certain types of victim who are far more susceptible to becoming addicted to this lovesex and this makes matters easier for us. There are, in essence, three categories of victim who are prone to being addicted more easily than a ‘standard’ victim.
The Crush Victim
If during our early conversations and exchanges we ascertain that you referred to having crushes on boys (but you did not have boyfriends) and on for example pop and film stars then this will flag with us that you will be more susceptible to becoming addicted to our lovesex. This adoration and idealisation of people who are unobtainable signifies to us that given access to somebody special, namely us, will result in you feeling special and that childhood crush you had on Tony Hadley from Spandau Ballet is transferred to us. I have written on several occasions about how returning you to childhood is a powerful method of control. This is in this vein. We recognise how you felt about that film star and how you experienced a dizzying euphoria every time you thought about them saw them on the screen or looked at their picture on that poster over your bed. You dreamt up fantasies about you and that person and this became etched on your psyche. Someone who would watch a boy at school from afar, write love letters to that boy but never send them and who would again dream about a life together is someone who regularly experienced crushes. You generated an intoxicating euphoria, albeit manufactured on a fallacy, about this particular person. Imagine how powerful the effect will be when you actually are able to be with someone brilliant, kind, wonderful and attentive? This will shunt you straight into the realms of addiction. You never achieved the outcome you desired of being on the arm of that special person. We will now give you that and by knowing you once had crushes on people we know that you are particularly susceptible to becoming addicted to our lovesex and naturally we will use this to our advantage.
The Fix Addict
The desire to fix and heal is the hallmark of the empath and is one of the reasons when we commence our devaluation of you that you cling to us. You want to fix us. You want to mend the relationship so that it returns to the golden period once again. You had it once so why can it not be attained a second time? Your innate need to help, fix and heal is a laudable trait in you. It is something we want from our victims in order to ensure they keep hanging on as we extract the negative fuel from you. It also tells us that you are somebody who will be susceptible to addiction to our lovesex. The reason for this is that you will think that just another conversation will make things all right again. Just another evening together doing something pleasant. Just another passionate night in bed together. Just one more. Like the alcoholic or drug addict you keep telling yourself that just one more drink or one more line of cocaine and everything will be alright. You convince yourself, despite all evidence to the contrary, that another ‘hit’ with me will fix things. You sense that a corner is just about to be turned, that redemption is but a conversation away and this is why you keep hanging on in there. Somebody who thinks like this because they want to make everything all right and will keep going in the hope this will happen even though everything else points against this, is someone who will readily become addicted to our lovesex. These people have a predisposition to addiction because they can never give up something. Our lovesex has the same effect.
The Broken Addict
I have mentioned in other works how we do like to find people who are damaged. It may be the case that they have been tenderised by one of our kind previously which makes them easier prey for us. It may be that they are so desperate to expunge the horrific experience of their previous relationship they miss all the red flags and warning klaxons. In terms of their susceptibility to addiction, the Broken Addict ranks highly. You have experienced considerable pain from a failed relationship before we came along. It does not necessarily have to have been at the hands of one of kind. It may be an intimate relationship, a familial one or a working relationship. What matters is that you are in pain. Just like the person who drinks too much, takes recreational drugs too often, over-eats or gambles all of these actions, when performed too often become addictions. All of these actions are carried out by these people in order to do one thing; blot out the pain. The usual addictions are used as crutch to help people deal with the pain they are suffering. They are trying to fill a hole. They choose those subjects who provide a quick fix and make everything seem alright for a short time before the crashing low begins and they must return to their chosen fix time and time again and of course in greater and greater quantities. Their chosen fix will be damaging them but their sense of reason has been pushed off balance. Their health, work, finances and relationships all suffer because of this reliance on a particular fix. This is the terrible outcome for those who are in pain and become addicted in order to try and fix that pain.
To learn more about why sex with our kind is addictive and a whole host of fascinating other insights concerning the sexual behaviour of narcissists, read Sex and the Narcissist available as per the links below.
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