Spam and Quips


Image result for picture of spam and chips


Recently my spam filter has had to put the hard yards in as it tackles an onslaught and I mean an onslaught of messages from seemingly pleasant and innocuous posters bearing names such as “Amy”, “Jimmy” and “Jane”. Every day the filter scoops another barrage of these messages which are invariably designed to cause me to click on a link and therefore allow something which appears pleasant on the surface, but is actually to the contrary, into my cyber existence. They come with such flattery and compliments but of course their aim is ultimately nefarious. By way of amusement I thought I would reproduce these daily missives here for your entertainment. Whatever you do, please do not e-mail the addresses or click on any of the links, if you do, I am not responsible for what might happen (but then I am never accountable anyway am I? You know that by now.) I have posted the message as they originally appeared, errors and all.


Opener 2016 was amazing. RHCP the best! See you next year.


Quite possibly it was, but whatever it was I have no idea what you are referring to, but it is good of you to invite me to next year’s event for whatever it is.


I am sure this paragraph has touched all the internet users, its really really good article on building up new weblog.


If only I was able to touch all internet users Amy, maybe one day eh? I daresay though you are the lady to make it happen.


I could not refrain from commenting. Exceptionally well written!


Oh you rascal Jimmy, I almost thought that was genuine until I noticed you had earlier invited me to view animal sex pictures.


This article offers clear idea designed for the new viewers of blogging, that in fact how to do running a blog.


I’m sure you meant something complimentary in amongst that strange syntax.


There’s definately a great deal to know about this subject.

I really like all the points you made.


Oh you nearly got me again there Jim. You shortened your name but the animal invitation has kind of queered you pitch pal.


seriously love your website.. Very nice colors & theme. Did you build this website yourself? Please reply back as I’m trying to create my very own blog and would love to learn where you got this from or exactly what the theme is named. Thank you!


Nice try Jane but HG isn’t sharing this information. Do you know how long a minion slaved on getting the right colour for the flames?


It’s like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with a few pics to drive the message home a bit, but other than that, this is excellent blog. A fantastic read. I’ll certainly be back.


A few pics M88, what like the large one at the start of every article?


hello there and thank you for your info – I have certainly picked up something new from right here.

I did however expertise several technical points using this site, as I experienced to reload the site many times previous to I could get it to load correctly.

I had been wondering if your hosting is OK? Not that I’m complaining, but sluggish loading instances times will very frequently affect your placement in google and could damage your high quality score if advertising and marketing with Adwords. Anyway I’m adding this RSS to my e-mail and can look out for a lot more of your respective fascinating content. Make sure you update this again soon.


Well M88 you did say you would be back and I can kind of see where we are going with this, so it’s a no from me.


free animal sex pics


You see Jim/Jimmy; this was a bit of a red flag. You need to try subtlety.


I am now not sure where you are getting your information, but great topic. I must spend a while learning much more or working out more. Thank you for wonderful info I used to be in search of this information for my mission.


Believe me Ann, the pleasure is all mine.


Assuming your non-vanilla relationship has yoou because the dominant onee I’d be curious to hear out of your companion what he went via earlier than hand.


Well What Men Want From Their Wife I think I understand what you are driving at here. At least you got the non-Vanilla part correct.


Hi there Would you like to easily see a birds eye view of what your current and past customers think about you? Do you know what people are saying about you? Whether its hurting or helping your business? My name is Paul, the Outreach Director of Five Star Fast Lane, and for the price of, well, nothing –I would like to provide you with a full detailed report on your current business standings. As a bonus, our report scanner will report back with any inaccuracies about your business that are out there potentially causing you loss of revenue and customers. There is no obligation or a catch, the report is yours to use as you see fit. Feel free to make use of it at Regards Paul Five Star Fast Lane PS – If you want to discuss the results we are available via live chat daily on the site.


Hello Paul, well at least you got straight in there and told me what it is that you are offering although I somehow doubt it will be for nothing, because everything has a cost doesn’t it? Oh and I know exactly what will happen with “live chat”.


Make her feeel comfortable with you by talking nicely of your ex and telling her that you just uttedrly assist her relationship


Thanks What Men Want To Hear, I will keep that as watchword to my heart.


free animal sex pics


You are a trier Jim/Jimmy; I will give you that.


Anyway, I will definitely put up a couple off updates or so as to my thoughts and outcomes good or dangerous, particuarly on my pregnant look and bloating !!!!


Good job you added those exclamation marks there or I would have thought you were deadly serious.

And now for my absolute favourite.


I am Dr Agadagodo and i am a spiritual specialist. Do you need a great spell caster to solve your problems? if yes i can help you in so many ways, contact me now for a fast and reliable solution through my Email: or call +2348051588977 (1) If you want your ex back. (2) if you always have bad dreams. (3) You want to be promoted in your office. (4) You want women/men to run after you. (5) If you want a child. (6) You want to be rich. (7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever. (8) If you need financial assistance. (9)if you want to stop your divorce. (11)if you want to divorce your husband. (12)if you want your wishes to be granted. (13) Pregnancy spell to conceive baby (14)Guarantee you win the troubling court cases & divorce no matter how what stage (15)Stop your marriage or relationship from breaking apart. (16)Want to get married to your partner. (17) Do You need luck to get a loan. visit me today via email or call +2348051588977.


Tell me Dr Agadagodo. Do you know Dr E and Dr O? Furthermore, can I seek your help to find out what number ten is?


There you are. A selection of what I am bombarded with on a daily basis. Who would have thought that someone would go to the trouble of peppering you with messages which seem pleasant and helpful, complimentary and kind so frequently? Somehow it seems rather familiar, wouldn’t you agree?

55 thoughts on “Spam and Quips

  1. Asp Emp says:


  2. Maddie says:

    Awww bless You! Btw I have to try email You and see if it will land in Spam Bin or will be flag and star marked by You dear G 😉

  3. 2mpathetic says:

    I tried to send you an email to the address doesn’t exist. Waaah….why? Do I have it wrong? U shouldn’t have a problem telling me I am.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Yes it exists.

  4. 2mpathetic says:

    Oh I love fuel.
    Negative. Your perspective.
    Mocking. If he didn’t like it, wouldn’t he be man enough to say it?
    Touched a nerve. projection.
    Authority. Yes, None.
    Missed Rub. Lack of Intellect?
    Emotional Rape. Aaaahhhh, who is hitting nerves? That’s twice.
    Rape verb
    1. To compel (another) to participate in or submit to a sexual act.

    Take note of the word COMPEL.

    Some people, such as yourself and I at times feel COMPELLED to respond. Thus engaging in writing something that we only intended to keep in mind. But the statement may be so Compelling or forceful almost like a gun to the head, we must respond. Thus giving an opinion which everyone is entitled to. What I wrote was and still is not to be considered a character assault to HG. I like HG. The word raping is a forceful word. It compelled you to respond to me. Did I emotionally rape or compel you to respond? Yes. Does HG do that? Yes and he welcomes response. I like his writing. I like many many things about him. You don’t have to question that or feel insecure that I’m hurting your virtual friend.

    I am hereby declaring my allegiance to HG Tudor. Did everyone get the memo? I do swear to hold him in the highest of esteem. I promise to not “mince” words as others do. I will continue to respond to his comments in a comedic nature as this is my personality. If you don’t like that, well…ya know.

    Blood and Thunder, can’t we all just get along and play nice in the virtual sandbox? I’m not taking my ball and going home. Let the moderator decide what to do. He can block me but then that’s fuel.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Your allegiance pledge is both expected and welcomed. So long as the debate is interesting and there is no gratuitous ad hominem attacks (which serve no purpose unless they are directed at me and then it is fuel) I will let things flow. I can tell you and B&T are big enough to deal with one another, indeed I see a bright future for you both as best friends.

      1. 2mpathetic says:

        Are you a lawyer? Oops broke my promise to you already. Ok I’ll shut up…mouth zipped. 🤐 Back to waiting for the go ahead from you personally.

        1. HG Tudor says:


    2. Yawn.

      If that`s the best you can do, then I am going home. And I`m bringing my ball over the HGs house.


  5. apocalipznow says:

    lol @ your responses. These are hilarious.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you.

  6. Michelle says:

    Actually laughed out loud at seeking help to find out number ten- too funny!

  7. 1jaded1 says:

    Thank you for the much needed laugh. The last two were definitely the best, and your straight man responses are priceless.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You’re welcome.

  8. nikitalondon says:

    LOL yes was funny.
    I never ever check my spam box but I do receive into my inbox a daily message from russian women in the search for a swiss rich man.
    I am Svetlana and I can make all your dreams come true.
    I am gentle, can cook for you etc etc..
    I clicked once or twice and sometimes they come accompanied by pictures in very light clothes 😂😂😂.
    I guess HG those ones would be better than the animal sex 😂😂😂

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Very much the case.

  9. centauride12 says:

    I’m pretty convinced that Dr Agadoo’s #10 has to be

    #10 if you need to push pineapple or shake a tree

    Cos I just know you love a little Black Lace HG

    Thanks for a hilarious post…gave me a good laugh after a tiring couple of days!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      There’s every danger, glad you liked it.

  10. luckyotter says:

    I used to read my spam because it made me laugh. You can tell “they” haven’t read your site at all. The compliments are generic and can apply to any blog. Or they sound like someone translated from ancient Mesopotamian into Greek into Yiddish and back into English all scrambled like eggs. I stopped reading mine after they got too numerous and I finally had to set my spam filter to automatic because I was spending way too much time deleting irrelevant messages that were probably written by machines. .

    1. 2mpathetic says:

      We are machines remember…lol….if narc told us to stay home and write spam all day and send to ex’s, enemies, friends, family, Santa, we would do it…sadly.

      1. luckyotter says:


  11. Alice says:

    Some ex- appliances applying REVENGE knowledge on you now? Whohoo! 😉

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Not a chance

  12. 2mpathetic says:

    Nearly? Would you scold us for bad conduct?

    1. HG Tudor says:


  13. Hope says:

    So many blogs allow these types of posts through without bothering to screen them, especially the love spell comments.
    And, so many bloggers totally ignore the comments and questions they receive.

    Thank you, HG for taking the extra time & professionalism to make your blog the best quality. And one that your readers truly enjoy reading, learning from & interacting with. 🙂

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you Hope, I do appreciate that comment. I don’t always respond as quick as I would like but I read every single comment and answer people’s queries as I do respect the manner in which nearly everybody who contributes on the blog conducts themselves. Thanks again.

      1. Alice says:

        Mhmm… just wondering: do you have an EXCEL list where you include details of all of us (contributing comments to your blog) so that you can keep track of our special history, features and issues?

        I would believe a true narc would build up such a list (at least in his head) from the very beginning of his blog, so that they would be able to stay on top and *in control* of all those lovely empathic ladies following their blog:-)

        1. HG Tudor says:

          There is a book.

      2. Fool me 1 time says:

        No, Thank you HG!! You are absolutely the best!!! But you already knew that!! Xxx

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I do and thank you

  14. Miss_stress says:

    I get it..haha…you spammed my replies….too funny HG.

  15. 2mpathetic says:

    I’m starting to wonder if we are in an experimental realm here. I first thought it to be kinda like a local pub. U know everyone and u have an exchange with them to learn and laugh and quip and chastise and advise and have sex with on occasion. But (3 words) maybe this blog is like a prison. We are in the prison yard and H is the warden. We are here for H to watch, acknowledge H, Talk about H, be disciplined by H, be ignored by H, have our posts monitored by H and be emotionally raped by H. (Don’t drop the soap).(oh and see imagine dragons song lyrics for radioactive) Does that mean that even though we have rid ourselves of Narcissists physically we really all need it so we come here because H provides it? I posted on this blog at 4am this morning. I was seriously up writing about my experiences with narcissistic people. At 4 in the morning (Gwen Stefani song) I realize in my empathetic brain, OMG I am a love whore (see your loves whore lyrics by wolf alice). I am at HG’s pub whoring myself out when my husband is in the next room in bed! All for H’s amusement. (OK I’m amused too, I wouldn’t do it if I got nothing). I think I gotta get outta here. I walk of shame it to the bedroom, literally tip toe and slowly open the door, it creaks dammit, and try to pee, brush my teeth and take off my clothes with silence and slip into bed next to Hubs (God hubs starts with H, I can’t get away, I’m ensnared). Alas, here I am today posting my thoughts waiting for anyone’s approval….any takers?

    1. I don`t wish to give you the approval you`re seeking, but would like to know what you came here looking for and what your goals are as a reader and contributor.

      I love sarcasm just as much as the next person, but I find yours crass and in poor taste and frankly, difficult to understand. I know you’re trying to be funny and draw some sort of reaction (not quite sure what type of reaction), but some of what you’re suggesting in your comment is not only incorrect, but critical and insulting.

      I take extreme issue with your suggestion that HG is “emotionally raping” people here. Quite the contrary. The people on this site will tell you HG is helping them move on with their lives/helping them heal. I’ve never seen him be anything but respectful, courteous and generous with his readers.

      As I said, I love sarcasm when it’s delivered eloquently and intelligently. But when it is vitriolic and base, I am inclined to simply stop paying attention all together.

      Do have a nice day. 🙂

      1. 2mpathetic says:

        Since I only would answer for anything I say here to HG then you have no reason to know what I’m looking for or my goals. I am entitled just as you are to write whatever you want. The posts are sent to the moderator, therefore are controlled. If he decided to pass it on, he is not effected.

        The problem is trying to understand my sarcasm. If you don’t get it then therein lies the rub. Incorrect statements according to your authority? U have no authority here, only HG does.

        Emotional rape. I mean taking emotion by force. Blogging about this topic of How A True Narcissist thinks, evokes an emotional response. Some statements provoke a negative response, some are positive responses, to some, not me, there may feel like a “forcing” of response…pulling a trigger for some to respond. This is what I mean by emotional rape, your welcome.

        I laughed out loud at your last paragraph. You feel how you feel. I don’t care if you pay attention to me or not in the future, after all this is really a virtual reality not a real pub.

        You have a quite lovely day yourself.

      2. I just wondered since your comment was so negative and since you are so mocking of HG when you address him, why you`d want to be here if you feel the way you do.

        It`s clear I touched a nerve. Ouch.

        I have no authority here, nor do I try to exert any. In fact, I deferred to HG and asked his permission before answering the questions some bloggers posed to me because this is his space and not mine.

        Therein lies the rub? Was there a rub? Darn, I must have missed it.

        I am simply stating that I think saying people come here and allow HG to emotionally rape them is a tad dramatic, since I`ve been here a while and I`ve not seen any evidence of that here on the blog. What goes on off the blog, I am not privy to. But here, he offers invaluable insight to his dedicated followers and is generous and courageous in the sharing of his story with all of us here.

        I am ever so glad that I amuse you as much as you amuse me! I will most certainly have a lovely and very splendid day, 2mpathetic and I do hope you do too! 🙂

      3. 2mpathetic says:

        Btw….Blood and Thunder…..(Fury?)

        Rape verb
        1. To compel (another) to participate in or submit to a sexual act:

        This may be a less negative way of what I meant by emotional rape…

        COMPELLING someone to respond.

        Is that better?

        1. I am curious to know where this definition came from as rape is not about compelling anyone to do anything. Rape is taking something from someone who is unwilling by force.

          This is the definition of rape and why I took issue with you using it here:

          1.unlawful sexual intercourse or any other sexual penetration of the vagina, anus, or mouth of another person, with or without force, by a sex organ, other body part, or foreign object, without the consent of the victim.

          2. an act of plunder, violent seizure, or abuse; despoliation; violation:

          3. Archaic. the act of seizing and carrying off by force.

          Yes, according to definition 2 you could call what Narcs do to people emotional rape. I am not disputing that.

          I am disputing your assessment that people come here to allow HG to do it to them when what he`s doing is offering assistance, advice and insight to people. It suggests he`s doing something wrong when that is not the case at all.

          1. 2mpathetic says:

            B&T. We have a communication breakdown between us. My assessment is NOT that people come here to have HG do it to them.
            I did not want to suggest that he is doing anything wrong. You win. I don’t want fight no more (Alabama Shakes, I can’t help it). I’m so sorry I offended you and apologize for any slight you think was directed at you or HG. I’m trying to make it stop. please let’s do that, k?

          2. Yes let’s stop.

  16. peaches36936 says:

    😉 I wondered if you had a sense of humor HG. This post is pretty funny… Thanks. Laughing.

  17. Miss_stress says:

    Do they still make the dreadful mystery meat, I thought it was buried underground in a multitude of bomb shelters In your case of spam , HG, love bomb shelters. Is that photo from your lunch today 😏
    I Don’t even read spam email, I just collectively delete them all.

    What were the animals that were having sex HG, did you watch the video, fess up, will it be the next book. Beastiality and the Narcissist.
    Hmm, I might contact that vodoo doctor and see how to tie my husband…..mind you I haven’t a husband any more. I wonder if it is hog tie to go along with the animal sex pics, perhaps, HG. Pardon my strange thoughts …but I thought of your Windsor knot boyhood tale..and imagined all sorts.

    You have a gift for the funny HG, it is lovely side of you. It made me smile.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Indeed they do, a few years ago the seven billionth can of Spam was sold. No that was not my lunch.

      No I did not watch the video. I have no interest in that type of thing.

      If you contact the voodoo doctor you do so at your own risk ! I am pleased the article entertained you.

  18. Cara says:

    I get similar stuff in my spam too, and lots of it.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Do you know Dr Agadoo as well Cara?

      1. Cara says:

        I don’t

      2. LMAO!!!!

        Care to guess what #10 on Dr Agadoo’s list might be, HG?

        Do you suppose it could be, “Spell to prevent spam posing as fuel-laden comments and praise from defiling thine blog.”

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I would take that number ten B&T.

      3. It’s really the only one you’d have any use for, HG.

        You have no need of many of the good doctor’s spells since you’re already quite capable of securing all of it yourself without use of magic…..just good ol’ fashioned hard work!

  19. Windstorm says:

    I have enjoyed your blog for months now and learned many things helpful with the Ns in my life, but this post has totally cracked me up! I haven’t laughed so loud in days!! Thank you for this ray of sunshine and for all your other helpful, informative posts! Have a great day!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello Windstorm, thank you for your kind words and for reading the blog, I’m pleased it entertained you.

  20. 2mpathetic says:

    A day in the life….? Add sympathetic statement here.
    Thank you for stealing my comedic thunder. I was wondering how long it would take for you to put me in my place. I know, it’s not about me,
    Oh crap, I sighed, now I am anxiously awaiting the payback. (U killed on that last one) 🍻

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are learning 2mpathetic.

  21. This was a great post, HG – it made me laugh out loud!

    I get similar stuff if my spam too and often think it’s something genuine until I read on and discover it’s nothing but garbage and I think to myself, “Well-plated, Internet. Well-played indeed.”

    Thank you for the humour, HG! I haven’t laughed this hard in a while!


    1. HG Tudor says:

      The pleasure is mine B&T.

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