The Unstoppable Lovefrauds

Image result for battlefield dead


You died the moment you met me.

My kind are engaged in wholesale slaughter. A daily massacre. Nobody is stopping us either.

These massacres are not literal deaths. No, they way I leave you I believe that you may actually prefer to be dead in order to end the pain. The unrelenting pain and misery that I will inflict on you. What I kill is your confidence, your self-esteem and your sense of worth. I annihilate your finances, obliterate your friendships, shred your sanity and drive an icy cold dagger through your very being. You see, people like you pride yourselves on being honest, decent and understanding. That’s what makes you so attractive to me. That’s what makes the killing all the more complete.

You may think that I am an awful human being and that I revel in the consequences of my behaviour. For some of my kind that is right and for others it is not. Some of my kind have no awareness of what they and believe that what they do just has to be done. Others of my kind know exactly what we do. I am not concerned about how you feel. I have no interest in your reaction to what I do. All I am focussed on is what your emotional reaction does for me.

People are stupid. They need everything to be labelled, to be categorised and pigeonholed. They need great big flashing neon signs telling them what people are as they are too idiotic or lazy to try and work it out for themselves. See the man in a dirty raincoat with unkempt hair that hangs around the children’s playground? He is a child molester. Look over there at the man with a striped shirt and a bag with the word ‘Swag’ on it. He is a burglar. What about the lady in dirty, piss-stained clothes, mumbling to herself and trying to feed the pigeons stones? Oh she is a madwoman. That is what people expect to see. Ask anybody to draw a picture of a murderer and ninety-nine times out of a hundred, they will draw a crazed looking man, dressed in black, carrying a knife or a gun. They won’t sketch their spouse or their relative. Ask a person where they will most find a rapist and they will answer that he will be lurking behind a bush near the subway ready to leap out on some stranger. What they won’t do is point at their boyfriend sat next to them watching television.

And that is where the problem lies. You expect to be able to recognise those that will cause you harm in such an obvious manner. It isn’t like that. There is a reason that those dangerous people are able to hurt in the way that they do. It is because they are all around you. They are sat next to you in your car. They stand with you at the water cooler or in the lift. They talk to you at the school gates or serve you your daily coffee. They permeate society. That is what makes them so effective. The ability to blend in and hide in plain sight. How many times have you heard the neighbour interviewed about the horrific murder of a family by the father, say,

“He always seemed so friendly and happy.”


“He kept himself to himself.”


“He was a quiet man. I never thought he had it in him.”

Or my favourite.

“You don’t expect these things to happen here do you? You always think it couldn’t happen here.”

These people appear as innocuous as they are so ordinary and fit with their surroundings. They have masked what lurks beneath. These people, the drug dealers, the killers and the abusers were ordinary. They were themselves and they made no attempt to hide or be different.

This is what makes me so dangerous. I make a conscious attempt to blend in with those around me. I am a shape shifter. I take on the characteristics of my victims, mirroring what they love and enjoy. I become what you want me to be. You have always wanted to meet the successful business owner. I am he. How about the well-read bookish fellow who enjoys the theatre and some amateur dramatics? I can be him as well. You just love people who have travelled extensively? Let me tell you all about my yearlong world tour. Rock nut? Done. Singer? Do re me fah so lah ti do. Family man? No problem. I will morph and twist into these ideal people and in so doing I will slide my tendrils around you with insidious ease and pull you into the full horror of my world.

You are not able to see me coming. I hide behind a thousand masks. The bad people I have described above make no real effort to inveigle their way into your world. They are already there. They are part of your day-to-day life and you are unlucky that you just happened to be near them when they struck. I am completely different. I have come after you. I have marked you out as my prey and circled you, preparing to strike. I engage in subterfuge to further my aims and to enable me to glide in and out of people’s lives with slippery ease. I suddenly appear. Oh, there may be some existing connection admittedly, but that is all part of the preparation. When I actually enter your life I do so in a blaze of deliciously disorientating glory that has you rooted to the spot and gagging for more, such is the addictive nature of my behaviour.

All my work is done before I engage you. That is why your execution takes place the moment we meet. All else that follows is merely your elongated death throes and believe me, do I like to drag them out for the maximum of effect. I even pretend to try and resuscitate you from time to time. That’s just a ruse to enable me to suck more of the life from you. You may regard that as twisted. I don’t care. So long as I am able to feed, that is all that I care about. I must feed. Each and every moment to try and satiate this insatiable hunger that rages inside me. I think that the hunger can be sated but somehow, it never seems to be the case.

Thus my killing goes on and on and on. Victim after victim piling up and the beauty of it all is that I merely slip on another mask and melt away to find another unfortunate. I walk away leaving chaos and destruction in my wake but I never look over my shoulder.

Should you fear me? Absolutely. Sadly, for you, you don’t know what to look for because I do not come into your life bearing a warning. Once I have emotionally slain you, only then might you recognise the danger a second time but of course, by that point the damage is done. Amazingly, some of you come back for more. Incredible isn’t it? Sometimes it is with me or sometimes with another of my kind. The effect is the same however. Another excruciating death.

The beauty of all of this is that nobody can touch me. Those who might try to bring the sanction of criminal penalties against me usually fail. They either won’t do it because they still love me or that somehow they think they can save me and they would rather do that. There are others who are so broken they blame themselves and not me. Others again are so utterly destroyed they do not have the strength to take action. The very few that do not fall at these hurdles soon realise that my innate charm, my myriad of lies and irresistible powers of persuasion mean that actually getting the criminal law to apply to me is nigh on impossible. It is only right. The rules are not meant for me.

All of this means that next to nobody recognises my kind when we first choose you. Why would you? We bear no mark or label. We do not appear as some stereotype. We do not look like abusers but then what do abusers look like? They look like me. Him. Her. That man sat across from you on the train in his suit reading a quality broadsheet. The headmistress who crochets around the clock and is a committed Christian. The abuser looks like the construction worker downing his gallon of beer before weaving his way home. He looks like the quiet neighbour. The shy teenager. The earnest music teacher. The gregarious uncle. Him. Her. Them. You do not see us coming. You had no chance. Society repeatedly fails to identify what we are and how we operate. It downplays what we do with a host of euphemisms and woolly descriptions because people cannot accept that somebody who is so pleasant to them can then be so horrible too. Yet, that is precisely how we operate. Would you trust someone who punched you in the face when they first me you? Of course not. You’d trust him after three years of marriage before the first blow landed though wouldn’t you? You would not trust the fraudster if he stole ten thousand pounds on his first day at work, but after five years of solid and loyal service you would not think twice that he was forging signatures and diverting funds to his personal bank account. Society and people are too ready to apply labels which diminish the impact of what we do and what we are. You can attest to the horrendous damage that we do, you know better than anybody else of the impact that we have and yet you have to listen to people talking about how he is “misunderstood”, “under pressure”, “not normally like that”, “must have been provoked”. These well-intentioned people cause considerable damage as the ignorant apologists for the carnage we unleash.

Now you know what we are, you can identify us with ease. You can now think back to all the people you have interacted with and now you see us as if we have been daubed in bright red paint. Your colleague at work. The “difficult” customer. Your mother. Your brother. That friend who upset you one week and then fawned over you the next. The lovers. The celebrities. The politicians. More and more of us are identified by you and yet still we are able to do what we want and move on to the next unsuspecting victim. Society does not identify us. Society does not understand what we are. Society is utterly ineffective in tackling us. Our numbers are growing and our devastating impact on the lives of all those we entangle (and it is never just the one person is it) grows but what is being done? Do the politicians know us (save when they look in the mirror)? Do the police officers understand what we are? The nurses? The social workers? The judges? The court appointed psychiatrist? The jury? The neighbours? The teachers? The local government officials? All those who might be able to do something to address what we are rarely know what we are leading to greater frustration for you and the continued advancement of our agendas.

Nobody is stopping us.

What are you going to do about it?


67 thoughts on “The Unstoppable Lovefrauds

  1. Petals says:

    A popular new word here in the US, fuqboi, seems like a descriptor for narcissists under another name.

    This article ( goes into the different types of “fuqboi,” and…

    The Sensitive Poet=Cerebral Narcissist
    The Ego Ridden Mama’s Boy=Somatic Narcissist
    The Gemini=Any Narcissist Intelligent Enough to Have a Functioning Facade
    The “Nice” Guy=Angel With a Dirty Face

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Looks that way and is a dangerous article as it euphemises what is actually happening.

      1. Lisa says:

        OMG just read this , just frustrated by the fact The Narcissist word is never used . Whether it’s love coaches , characters in Movies , the recent apparent shock of the casting couch REALLY people are shocked by it , it’s common bloody knowledge going back to the silent movies . Why don’t people stop normalising this narcissistic behaviour
        Only you can do it HG Tudor !!!!!

      2. Yolo says:

        I agree with you, but I can see late teens relating to it. I have heard the term “fuckBoys” it minimizes what they are but provides some level of awareness.

        I would question if the writer failure to call (a spade a spade) is intentional or due to lack of awareness.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Lack of awareness.

  2. redbluegruen says:

    “Now you know what we are, you can identify us with ease. You can now think back to all the people you have interacted with and now you see us as if we have been daubed in bright red paint”

    Interesting read, thanks HG. At the moment I am in NC with my last Narc. The thing is, after finding out his true nature, I came to realize the other Narcs in my life. The realization is scary, because statistically speaking there are not lot of people, who are diagnosed with NDP. This guy would be my 4th Narc in 6 to 7 years (at least “romantically” speaking).

    I put my guard down because he was rather the somatic type and I found his love bombing rather desperate and fishy (did not know this was a tactic at the time), but still I gave in. He got his game up and I must admit I felt attracted for the fact that even if I considered him kind of a lesser man because of the lack of real intellectual intimacy (all my other Narcs were good looking, successful and highly intellectual men), he offered some levels of sophistication and aesthetic sensibilities that were surprising for a mere male nurse. So If I stayed was more out of curiosity at first.

    To his credit he was still incredibly destructive. He got his way with my body and my physical integrity. Sex with him was pretty amazing and he was not afraid of things most common people would call “perverse”. But somehow, he still disrespected me in a way I am still trying to cope with.

    “There are others who are so broken they blame themselves and not me.”

    Curiously my realization about his narcissistic tendencies due the fact, that not matter how he still managed to gaslight me, while he was “devaluing” me the idea of this man treating me in such a vile way not only offended me, but filled me more with rage and frustration than anything else. So I initiated the discard.

    The other Narcs in my life, who were more the cerebral type, were men I indeed truly admired. At the time their devaluing meant something to me. I felt like I “deserved it” for not being enough, for not coming even close to their expectations.

    Somehow this last experience kind few opened my eyes. It gave me insight. This last Narc was different, but at the same time the script was kind of the same. Only that this time, the idea of this man discarding me even if hurtful was so ridiculous to me that I could see it with the kind of detachment necessary to decode other past experiences as well. This Narc ironically broke the circle of me being the broken victim who takes the blame.

    So HG, in your experience, have you met other sources of supply, who suddenly get this kind of insight and keep it? does it really make it easier for us to recognize your kind a next time? Do you find difficult to believe that the number of 4 Narc that I met in 6-7 years? Or does it proof your statement of how unaware we are about your kind?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I have not met anybody with this insight in my private life because they have not had access to my material. It does make it easier for you to recognise our kind HOWEVER it is one thing to recognise and it is something else to ensure you are not ensnared again. You need to regulate your emotional thinking to stop that by building your logic defences.
      I assume you met four narcissists in 6-7 years – that does not surprise me.

      1. redbluegruen says:

        Thanks for your reply HG! I consider myself to be a pretty rational individual until I fall in love. I would be more than happy to take some Oxytocin blocker to either avoid it completely or at least to make the “heartbreak” easier. I know its just one of the hormones involved in falling in love, but my biggest problem is perhaps the attachment and therefore the empathic response. As I see it, the other hormones may reinforce the habit and the pleasurable aspects of being with someone, but it is the attachment that make it so difficult to stop.

        I wonder myself how people with low on empathy or not empathy at all would response to a form of therapy where they receive such hormones as Oxytocin? Would there be someday such a treatment? Until know they have tested only with people in the autism spectrum.

        I want to also thank you for this blog, I have read the hell out of it and it is helping me a lot. I am little bit BPD and had a narcissistic mother…so perhaps I am really some Grade A Narc’s bait.

  3. Brandie says:

    Reblogged this on Speak Out 4 Others.

  4. Your very welcome!

  5. Loved this. Very true. My own grandma can be on your list in your post. A 65 year old sweet old lady who knits sweaters for dogs, who buys her grandchildren wonderful presents and spoils them endlessly, is a prostutiute, a cougar, a porn star in her deranged head, and a whore who has sex with a married man every week at least once. Most the time, you don’t see things coming f you are one of the 99 out of 100 people with a picture a burgular as you described. Very true and very good.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you.

  6. Aadz says:

    This is so accurate.
    the best part of this is the non- effort to twist and hide reality and the undeniable motive to spread awareness

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you Aadz

  7. lostnfree says:

    This is great! I can feel my own experiences rushing back again. I have written some drunken posts and I’m finally comfortable with people reading them. I need feedback.

  8. Magia says:

    Contemptuous of moral or human restraints, Narcs relate to others as objects, rather than as subjects with their own intrinsic value and valid viewpoints. It is this denial of the humanity of the other that lies at the heart of the mystery of evil. They become their own never-ending “cover-up.” and maintain modes of avoidance they have so desperately constructed to protect themselves from what they do not want to know. And yet, it is only in the clear seeing of what they are doing to themselves that is there any possibility of becoming free from this malignant malady. Narcissistic victims suffer because their perpetrators willfully refuse to develop any self consciousness as that would mean facing the litany of hideous actions taken throughout their lives.

  9. Poetic_Me says:

    Fraud=Narcissist=false representation of self=lack of disclosure of pertinent Information=abuse of power and position.

    “a person or thing intended to deceive others, typically by unjustifiably claiming or being credited with accomplishments or qualities.”

    Who stops you….we do individually, one person at time. When we wake up from the Dream/ love fraud that entranced us and see you for who and what you truly are and say NO to your abuse. Thusly, saying YES, to our well being.

    Fraud is stoppable, in any and all forms, all you require is evidence, facts, determination and trust In the belief that wrongs will be righted. The just will prevail.

  10. entertainment says:

    I imagine you as the caddy Hugh Grant.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I assume you meant cad. Hugh may play golf but I don’t see him as a caddy.

      I am rather different to Hugh but if that is how you wish to imagine me, do go ahead Entertainment.

      1. steeviann says:

        In my mind you are better looking then Hugh Grant.
        You glow 😎

      2. BurntKrispyKeen says:

        I just discovered that Hugh Grant has five small children, two of which entered the world closely via two different mothers. Considering his Divine Brown escapade, I remeber feeling sorry for Elizabeth Hurley as I wondered then, “What was that man thinking!?” So I just now googled – Hugh Grant narcissist. On the first page, Google offered this as an option. It just struck me that even during a search for celebrity narcissism, I’m led back to here.

        You’re taking over, HG.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Not before time BKK.

    2. entertainment says:

      Caddy Urban Dictionary Description
      When a person or group of people, usually friends, or sometimes in college sorority sisters, act very immature, don’t ever escape the “high school mindset” such as getting caught up in stupid (caddy) drama that is relatively unimportant, are sometimes annoying, loud, obnoxious, materialistic, drunk, change their morals for the acceptance of others, act like they are “the shit” and above others in status who are not in that group, etc. things of that nature.
      I can’t stand that group of peoples’ “caddy” attitudes. They are going no where in life until they realize that they need to grow up and stop acting so… “CADDY”!

      Despite his restroom stunt with the hooker,he’s displayed this type of behavior prior to the arrest. These days he seemed to have chilled out a bit.:)

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Thank you Entertainment, I have learned something new, I had not come across that definition, urban as it is.

  11. 1jaded1 says:

    She almost died so many years before you met her. How did you get it so wrong? So curious because you and your kind are always right, right? She is fighting me while I write this but she lets me because she knows I am right. In the end, she is much stronger…thanks and no thanks to your kind. She was never weak. That is where people make mistakes. One day she will kill me. One day, the caring altruistic person will end the beast. Maybe that will happen for your creature. Does this make me sound mentally disordered? Yes. Do I care.. No…no…and no.

    1. steeviann says:

      Sounds like the little you is being smothered by the big you. We all have two. I do.
      Not sure who is the dominate one at this juncture but as I grow wiser with time on earth, the beast has calmed. Which one was the beast? The “I” has won so far, I am here writing a reply.

      1. Poetic_Me says:

        It is when we truly accept ourselves, as we are, that we can truly heal. We can only heal ourselves and love others through our own healing.

      2. 1jaded1 says:

        Hi Steeviann. “She” popped out as a fully grown adult when I was 9. She has saved me so many times and I can’t thank her enough. I almost killed us when we were 14 bc she wouldn’t allow me to feel. In the end, I am the dominant one bc I need to care. She needs to remember that. She pops out when things get nasty. People are surprised when she comes out. They never see it coming and I guess that’s why we escaped 2 narcs. She gets most credit for that. I’m so glad you are here bc I learn a lot from you.

        I thank you too, HG. Without your blog, none of the maintenance healing would be possible.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You are welcome 1jaded and thank you for your continued contributions.

        2. steeviann says:

          I am honored that you said I have helped you. Wow. This is nice.
          I also have a very similar story but I have only had one Narc. I actually talked to him tonight about our last interaction a few weeks ago.He said I was crazy and say mean things (I did text tat he could die and I would be fine or maybe I told him to go die) anyway he says he brings a bat to the battle and I bring a cannon. That is my crazy going off.
          I am a bit sparked so to speak.

      3. 1jaded1 says:

        It is true. You have helped. Your N…he left the holes in the yard? I could be remembering it wrong…or maybe you were speaking metaphorically. My memory isn’t wonderful. My N2 left a huge hole by the back door. When I forgot my key and called him to let him know, he purposely kept the front door locked and the light on, while unlocking the back door with the light out and this huge ass hole. Wtf? He thought that would teach me to remember my key…I live 300 miles away so it isn’t like I could have gone home.

        He and I were together for so long that the “break up” was just a formality. I used to hum the song “Unhappy Birthday” to him. One of the lines is something like if you should die…I might feel sad but I wont cry. You need to be prepared. Cannons are sometimes required. Silence is another means. The opposite of any emotion is indifference. Always known that and now applying that. I would douse him if I saw him on fire…then I’d run away. He is human.

    2. Poetic_Me says:

      No, Jaded, it makes you sound real and genuine and fearless. I commend you. We each have a voice, that should be allowed to be heard.

      1. 1jaded1 says:

        Thank you. XO.

        1. Poetic_Me says:

          You are always most welcome xx

  12. mlaclarece says:

    But for you personally, on your journey with the doctors and with all who have interacted with you here over the last year, haven’t you said somewhere that you are feeling a bit less need to go after the negative fuel or dig in the toolkit?
    It doesn’t have to be such a ruthless lifestyle. I don’t mean to become a bleeding heart for the masses, but soften a little?

  13. traveler1965 says:

    Sometimes I want to send these articles to the ex narcissist completely anonymous. I just kinda seems like a fun thing to do. Maybe his employer too who already thinks the Narc works against him. I don’t want to devote too much energy though as my life if full of good things. But sometimes I think the entertainment factor might be worth it 🙂

    1. steeviann says:

      I have sent them to the Narc I know but he was lower level or I was not a prime fuel tank, to resistant. Not giving in on a whim. I think he would get ideas from HG and become more efficient. This would not be helping society.

      But he could also be watching me on here. If you are, piss off you freak!

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Made me laugh.

      2. traveler1965 says:

        Right on!

      3. Yo says:

        He doesnot watch u here. U can sleep well ))

        They forget about our existance the day we leave them.
        As if we never existed at all.

        1. steeviann says:

          I wonder at times what he does. He has told me he looks at my pictures on my profile page. He has said things that lead me to believe at times, perhaps if he is board, he revisits.

  14. ann94063 says:

    HG, you say in many of your books that when you target a woman, you set the pace on how quickly the “relationship” progresses. You have also said that sex is very important to the narcissist as it is their way of binding the target to them quickly. Have you ever had an instance where you targeted someone and they refused to engage in sex with you? Not because they don’t find you attractive or they don’t like sex, but because of sheer will. It could be that they have learned their lesson from a past mistake with another narcissist, or simply because they just don’t want the complication that comes with a sexual relationship unless it is within a marital context. Would you find that kind of woman more of a challenge and make you more determined to “conquer” them (for lack of a better word)? Or would you quickly lose interest in them and move on to easier prey? Conventional wisdom says that it takes at least two years of due diligence to really get to know a person. Would a narcissist be able to fool a target for that long without showing their true nature within that time?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No I have never had that happen Ann. There has been some resistance as opposed to a downright refusal, you know along the lines of “not just yet” or “not tonight, it is too soon” so it is not a no, but rather a not right now. That of course just becomes an incentive. I would see them as a challenge and wish to conquer them. It is of course the case that we will still be deriving fuel from this target through other means so they are not a write off, it is however as you identify a powerful step to conquer them sexually for all the reasons I have advanced previously. Could we fool someone for two years? Indeed we can. There might be glimpses of our true colours during that time but most victims, for reasons I have explained elsewhere fail to recognise this and/or fail to do anything about it.

      1. ann94063 says:

        Thank you, HG. With the lessons I learn from you, I hope to recognize those red flags as they are being hoisted. I do have your book on red flags which I will be referring to often.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Excellent Ann, keep reading and increasing your understanding and defences.

  15. Masquerade us all HG.
    After I read that….
    I feel like the girl in the slasher movie that runs and trips….oh my ankle..
    Too late…..
    Hacked Up.
    You are a Dangerous Man.
    Where’s my head?
    Oh yes, cut off with a chainsaw after you whispered in my ear.
    Cue Heathens by 21 Pilots.

    1. 1jaded1 says:

      He will.

  16. Steeviann says:

    Speaking of the man who serves you coffee, I can attest to not knowing. Years ago, the busboy who served us coffee two days a week tortured his little girl everyday. Hung her up by her hair in the closet, beat her, killed her. She was two years old. I never liked him and I always felt off around him. I just thought he was just a oily guy. My senses picked up the bad vibrations but could not tell you what it was from. Sad story.
    So yes, you do not know who is sitting next to you on the train, bus or plane. Who is in the car next to you at the light. Who is behind you at the checkout. Or who the is the Narc you will encounter. Just always watch…………..listen.
    Thanks for keeping it real and being as real as you can HG.

    1. mlaclarece says:

      That is a most heartbreaking story. That is a whole different level of monster and evil. I hope his fellow prisonmates took care of him because even many of them have a unified code of children being off limits.

  17. Indy says:

    You speak truth…labels are bullshit. We need to see with our eyes and feel with our guts and never let anyone separate ourselves from our intuition. Your call to action, all of our calls to action: “What are you going to do about it?” My response is to continue my life, live it fully and continue to heal. I will also continue my life’s calling in helping others…..with a blend of compassion (toward self and others) and be a force of both acceptance and change. Thank you so much for what you are doing, HG.

    1. Alice says:

      To the call to action “What will you do about it?” I would reply:”Drop my end of the rope, detached and let go.”

  18. Nun says:

    No need to worry about consequences. Imagine an ageing n, with a diminished repotoir, access to fuel, as they face their maker. Well that’s true retribution. The mirrors turned round and their looking square into an abyss.

  19. TGB says:

    As always this blog is dead on! I wish I had known of your writings years ago when I first became ensnared by my ruthless ex narc. However, I am greatful to have had my experience with the narc and escaped. With the knowledge you have shared I have learned how to rebuild and recover. Thank you. The pain I endure still lives within me but it hurts a little less every day.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome TGB

  20. Lisa says:

    Hi HG, I’ve always shared this opinion and have always said that all these bad people in the world the child molesters and murders are all someone’s , son , brother , sister , husband . Nice man next door that always does his garden so nicely . Even on the subjects of prostitutes , who are all these men using prostitutes they must land from Mars daily as it would seem they are never anyone’s husband , boyfriend or nice uncle Fred . But I did not know about narcissists , just never heard of it . I must have been living in a cave . I have actually lived all over the world and thought I was reasonably intelligent not in some big academic way but general common sense and thought I was quite a realistic kind of person about life . But all these personality disorders and in particular NPD and BPD and others such as bi polar I did not know about narcissim existing at all. When I started reading about this one of the things that put me off was the fact that all victims seemed to have had dealings with more than one, and I thought that made it less credible . I thought well ok maybe one , but some of these people are claiming to have known or dated more than one . So I thought they were all a bit nuts in these groups . I now realise that I have known loads . Dated only one the current ex I’m still obsessed with . So now I’m daily telling my mother all the people in our family and people we have known and know and I’m explaining to her which ones were and are narcs . Now my mother thinks I’m mad . She said to me jokingly today , there seems to be a lot of them about !! I said yes mum actually there is they are every where and it actually makes sense as to why so many people do bad stuff . They simply do not have a conscious or feel for other living things . It’s really horrible . It’s like the replicants in Blade Runner . I will get over my narc in time . But I will never look at people the same way . I will see the signs and I will know.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      An excellent post Lisa.

    2. Steeviann says:

      I now look around me and wonder who is? I also will not look at people the same. I actually have not since I was a very young child.

    3. Yo says:

      Great post Lisa.
      I would be glad to have ur confidence about “see signs and know”…

      1. Lisa says:

        Hi Yo, I may sound arrogant to say I would know . I’m sure I could get taken in again but I think once you know the signs they are a bit cookie cutter . However my work colleague narc was arrogant , ambitious , high career , had married and had children . My boyfriend one was the opposite bachelor no kids no career ambitions and quite simple humble guy and not really the lime light type . So it’s hard to spot in that way . But I would just walk away from someone treating me badly now and I would do it early , whether they were a narc or not . Work colleagues a little different . If they are senior to you , you either have to make them irrelevant to you and try not to let them get you to react or just kiss their arse all day long 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 I just hope I don’t get caught again but none of us should with HG’s teachings . But I’m not even close to being over my ex boyfriend narc . It’s going to take time .

  21. You know there is nothing that can be done without proof and most of it is he said she said by the time everything is said and done.

    The only thing I like to throw back into a Narcs face is that I AM resilient. Watch me, rather you regret anything in OUR lives is irrelevant, because I am stronger than you ever imagined and unlike you I rise up like the Phoenix and only grow stronger.

    Here, for you HG, I leave you yet another Muse song:

    And no, they are NOT my favorite group but I suspect that the song writer encountered a narc at some point in his life! 😉

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I agree with you about Muse.

      1. Louise Seager (@LouiseSeager) says:

        The narcissist can never be themselves because there is no ‘self’ or if there is it is so deeply buried and damaged it’s invisible, hence the need for fuel to fill the gap and mirrors. I was a narc for a while, and have been stung by three. Seen & been on both sides of the equation. What truly defines us is what we become when the narc has discarded us. This is our lifeline. This is their purpose, not to save themselves this life around, but to allow us to pull out of the blue yonder, wild as it is, the strength, honour and down right audacity to save our selves, others too for that matter. Jesus would have been nothing without Jude. L x.

    2. nikitalondon says:

      Very negative lyrics.. I was born to destroy you… 😱😱😱😱

      1. Yes, maybe if you are a narc…

  22. Fool me 1 time says:

    You have started doing something already HG!! Hopefully more and more people will learn about you and your writings!! 😘

  23. nikitalondon says:

    I like very much reading this article because of the awareness it gives. It is true. The majority of people that can hurt much are disguised somehow like you say..
    The pilot that crashed the Lufthansa plane on purpose seemed very nice to everybody
    Its pretty difficult to know today who is who and masking severe inner problems and black intentions.

  24. Maddie says:

    You will become who I want You to become? Be yourself then…

Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Previous article


Next article

Here’s My Card